IGoddessI

Today booked a flight to Adelaide to go to my nanna's funeral. Leaving on the 16th, coming back on the 22nd. Going to take my son and partner to Victor Harbour where I grew up and have a bit of a holiday while we're down there, will show photos when I come back home. Tomorrow I go in for day surgery and I'm a little nervous. 5 needles in the cervix and cutting potential cancer cells doesn't sound like a cup of tea :evil:

I have 99 skill in att, def, str and hp. I get tired of members coming up to me saying "omg you suck because you're combat 133 without any other 99 stats". I quit for 3 years! of course they're not going to be high when I've only just started to play again. Also hate high levels who weren't around on classic or even known back in the day who come up to you and say "who are you? Do you auto? I've never seen you around before!" :wall: Well no... that's because I played when leveling was actually hard and time consuming. end rant.

I just snuck out the back door and did it anyway...... :?

Welcome back but I'd have to say no. I enjoy my life because I know I control whether I make millions and become successful or whether to study, whether to work 9-5, whether I choose to take something negatively or positively. I create my own experience and you can too. The world is my playground and it will only be dull if I keep playing on the same apparatuses. Learn something new, if you only study, read and engage in the same activities that you're good at, then you're limiting yourself. If you haven't already, watch "yes man".

What a waste of space. Spam :thumbdown:

Keep turning it on them and don't let them disrespect you like that, even if they are your parents. It can damage your self-esteem and confidence so make sure you do stand up for yourself but don't be aggressive about it. "And what about encouragement? You've never given me any and you actually don't need a reason to encourage your kids. Parents who don't encourage their kids ruin their kids self esteem - it's a real psychological fact, I suggest you look it up" And please arrange a meeting between you, the school counsellor and your parents. They need a reality check, bloody morons. What they just said is bordering emotional abuse.

emotional abuse, intimidation, social isolation are all parts of domestic violence. I think you should talk to your school counsellor and arrange to have a meeting :D

Synchronicity!

It minimizes feelings of defensiveness and more often than not, gets the desired outcome. Unless the person is a complete tool. Also be polite/assertive.. example: You walk in to a store to fix your cd player because it's broken. You need it for a party tonight. It's busy, the guy behind the desk is frustrated and is obviously having a bad day. He tells you to come back tomorrow. passive response: "okay I'll come back tomorrow then" - gets what you want at a later date aggressive response: "No I expect you to fix it now, who the hell do you think you are? I want to speak to your manager!" - usually doesn't get you what you want. assertive response: "I purchased this cd player on (insert date) and it's not working. I can see that you're busy but I need it for a party tonight. If you could please fix it now for me, that would be fantastic" - almost always gets you what you want they are trying to direct the blame elsewhere and go offtopic so direct them back on topic: "This isn't about my ego. This is about how upset I feel when you tell me I can do better. When I feel upset, I'm less inclined to try. A B is above average and it is a good grade, it would be lying to say that it's not. Encouraging me with my grades has nothing to do with my ego. An ego is an inflated sense of self importance. If you choose not to encourage me with my grades, how is that going to help me to do better?" Print these out and shove them on your parent's desk: The importance of praising and encouraging your kids! http://parentingteens.about.com/od/pare ... e_teen.htm http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/ ... ontext/459

When I last checked the law for Australia was 15 and 9 months. That goes without saying, it may have changed since then. What state and country do you live in? Laws are different overseas. In some countries you can work when you turn 13.

- By "setting themselves up for failure" I meant that their decision is flawed. It almost always has a negative outcome. Positive parenting is where instead of punishing kids for bad behaviour, you reward them for good behaviour and it encourages more good behaviour. For example they are punishing you with less freedom because your grades are bad. However, if they took a positive parenting approach they would reward you slowly say for example "Getting a B-B+ is a really good grade! I'm very proud of you. Since you're doing so well in school, your father and I have decided to re-negotiate your computer time" Which are you more likely to do? bust your [wagon] at getting better grades when someone makes you feel worthless and under-appreciated? Or positive parenting where are you likely to think "Hey... my parents are proud when I get good grades..and this makes me feel happy. When I get good grades, I get more freedom and this makes me feel mature as well as smart. I enjoy working for my grades, because it makes me feel good and I benefit from it". So if they are in your best interest, why do you feel like crap? show them proof, psychological wise that their decisions are harmful in many ways and quite negative. Show them that there are more positive ways and positive outcomes because of them. You're actually not blaming them for anything. You're stating facts and you're stating how you feel. Any parent who shuts their child down when they tell them how they feel is an idiot. Because that is dictating to a parent and causing them to be defensive. It's not their problem, it's your problem and you need to own it. BFC - keep this in your mind. Behaviour, feelings, common grounds. If you were a parent and your child wanted to negotiate to you, then what would you be more likely to respond to? "You're too strict, you make me feel like crap, you never let me do anything and if you do this, this and this, then I'll change!" or "I'm having a problem, when you tell me to get better grades, it makes me feel stupid and under-appreciated. If you encourage me more and tell me I'm doing a good job, then it will build my self esteem to do better. I think we can both agree that getting good grades is important and so I'm trying to tell you how I feel so we can both get the same result."

Addressing question 1: No they aren't overbearing. Overbearing is when you have a mother like my ex who smothers you and invades your personal space. When you say no, they nag you and keep trying to get their way. For example, if you say no to a slice of cake they ask you another 20 times in different ways to try and get you to take a piece. Or they take over and try to do everything for you and treat you as if you're not independent enough to do it for yourself. He didn't know how to iron, cook, wash his clothes or anything because mother dearest would take over and do it for him. He was a grown man (24 years old) and made him keep the door open when he had a girl in his room. Long story short, the guy had mother issues and that's the correct context of the use "overbearing". Strict? Sure. I can agree with that. I had been sleeping over friends houses since I was 12/13, when I was 15 I even got to negotiate staying places until midnight on the weekend so long as I told my parents where I was and they knew the people. 6pm is ridiculous in my opinion but parents will always have different opinions to other parents. I think your grades are fantastic, the average is a C and so by getting a B or B+ then that's above average. Expecting you to be a straight A student is ridiculous in my opinion. Some subjects are going to be harder than others, some people naturally suck at some subjects no matter how intelligent they are and you should be allowed to grow at your own pace. I think they are setting themselves up for failure and this is why: Let's say you do improve your grades, you don't even know how much negotiation will take place, perhaps they will say "okay now you can stay out an extra hour" so I think you should sit down with them again and ask them how much negotiation will get you before you work for it. Also, if your grades slip while you're given more freedom and it's genuinely because it was simply a harder exam, they may think whoever you're with is a bad influence or they've given you too much freedom and take it away from you again. Psychological fact: Over protective parents are more likely to raise rebellious children. As for computer games, so long as all your homework has been completed and you have negotiated how much of your assignment you will get done, in my opinion I think you should be rewarded with computer time such as gaming. Positive parenting ftw - more parents should invest their time in looking up the facts and results that their parenting style promotes. Enter negotiation again and be intelligent about it: "If you stop criticizing my efforts and start praising me for the hard work that I have tried, then that will encourage me to do better in school. When I get above average (a B-B+) and you tell me to get better grades, it makes me feel like you don't care how hard I tried and then I feel dumb and under-appreciated"

Hey guys I won't be online for a while, my nanna passed away this morning. I'll be flying down to Adelaide to help the family with the grieving process etc

Shrine of LionHeart

:o I'm sure Trapical could deliver the baby. He should have learned enough in med school by now :lol: Nothing wrong with having a cute doctor either ;) What deathdrow said. I don't even know how that could even be taken as a threat but w/e -.- I have a shrine for LionHeart :lol: I'll post it soon.

Oh and deathdrow, on your days off from being the crazy, cat lady you should be the clown of the pit balls or the kids club :lol: And if anyone nominates a queen/king/president/whatever you should be their personal court jester :thumbsup:

Oh, then I nominate goddess. Nominating me would be risky, there's bound to be a repeat of the JFK assassination... I'm looking at you Lenin :twisted: :lol: I just read through every single page of the thread, bloody great idea. As much as I'd enjoy an entire piece of land devoted to the girls I'd miss you lads too much! I need a kids club though (with a ball pit bwahaha... just for happysniff) and I'll volunteer to cook bacon and eggs on the weekend and dinner during the week. One condition though, I don't cook and do dishes. So pick one! :lol:

You still didn't answer my question. Can I. Come over. And play. In the ballpit :evil: I did answer see :twisted:

:lol: :lol: Happysniff just got owned. Then again, it happens a lot. Officially sig'd =D>

Back on topic? pssh there's nothing to discuss other than boo hoo here's a tissue for your issue, create a humorous thread of your own. Sure diz, more the merrier, see who can juggle the longest :lol: I can only juggle two so it's not much competition :lol: It's not a giant one, just a blow up pool/car full of pit balls!

I just bought my son a ball pit you can come over and play if you want :lol: Fiance' and I spent more time trying to juggle with them than putting it together \

We need to get some Black eyed peas happening right here. If someone's being immature how is speaking to them like a 2 year old, putting them down and swearing going to help the situation? It's only going to escalate defensiveness. Mature people should know better ;)

Can I come? NSW is a freaking Bombshell with no job opportunities. :cry: Qld isn't that much better atm :lol: but yeah anyone I know well enough from the forums is welcome to stay until they can get on their feet. They have to be motivated to get moving though because I don't put up with moochers who sit on the couch all day and do nothing but play video games. I already dated one of those losers 8-)

I'll forward this on to some of classic/rs2's best known pkers of all time :thumbup: My old msn is full of pkers with 99,99,99 stats lol

:lol: maybe we should all send them this link: http://www.angelfire.com/super/badwebs/