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How to write very bad guides. 5K VIEWS!!!@ONEON


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#1
mithos23132
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mithos23132

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In honour of all the *cough* high quality guides littering..I mean all the well written guides on this thread I have decided to write my very first guide!



A Guide to Writing Very Bad Guides

by

Mithos



Table of contents

-Title

-Table of contents

-My guide

-FAQ



Step 1- Pick a Topic

Any topic! Anything at all! You also need to choose a subject line. Make sure your subject line does not give the reader any indication of your topic. Subject lines such as "Best guide ever made" or "read this plzzzz" are ideal.



Step 2- Write About It!

Whatever pops into your mind! Make sure to write your ideas in a scattered and disorganized manner. Do not repeat yourself. If it takes more than five minuites of research, then you are trying way too hard. Write what you know! Don't forget to put your thoughts in an illogical order and use plenty of exclamation marks!!!!!!111



Step 3- The Closing paragraph

This is where you request things. Some people like to thank the reader, however this is a great opportunity to beg for things. Ill give an example "THANK yuo for raeding me gide. Plox gives me a full ru0n if my guid3 helps yuo!!11"



Step 4- The lookover

Don't spend too much time on this portion. Just a quick scan to make sure yuo didn't make anymistakes in you gide. Make sure that you didn't repeat youreslf at all. Replacing an "e" with a "3" will make you look v3ry clev3r, but thats an advanced technique only.

Posted Image

This would also be the stage where you assign random colours to your headings.

You could consider adding an FAQ (frequently asked questions), where you would pretend that people actually cared enough to ask you questions. I have demonstrated the proper use of FAQs below.





FAQ



Q: About how long do you think I should play runescape before writing a guide?

A
: I would say somewhere around five minutes, depending on your topic. If it's something really broad (such as covering all aspects of one or more skill(s)) then I would suggest a minimum of ten minutes.



Q
: How should I go about plagiarizing another persons guide?

A: Well I would highlight it and then press "copy" and then "paste" it onto your post. Don't worry about posting it on another website because they won't notice. Probably. Trust me.



Q: What are your thoughts regarding writing in all capital letters (cap locks)?

A: I THINK IT IS THOUGHTFUL OF THE WRITER TO WRITE IN CAPITALS BECAUSE IT IS EASIER TO READ THE BIG LETTERS! THEY PUT CAP LOCKS ON YOUR COMPUTER FOR A REASON. USE IT! jUST DONT LOOK STUPID BY ACCIDENTLY PRESSING SHIFT AT THE BEGGINING OF THE SENTENCE.



Q: What about images?

A: I would use them at your own discretion, however it should fit the topic. If I was writing a guide on killing Elvarg this is what I sould put as an image.

Posted Image

Keep your images unnecessarily large and make sure they are confusing and irrelevant.



Q: People keep making suggestions like "don't write in leet speak", "this isn't even a guide" and "please remove those pornographic pictures from your guide". What should I do?

A: Simple. Flame them! For those of you unfamiliar with the term, allow me to demonstrate:

Suggestion: This isn't a guide, you have put absolutely no effort into it.

Response (flame): You are a moron! You wouldn't know a good guide from your rear end!



Repeat this for every criticism you receive. I guarantee that your thread will not be locked*.



*by "not" I mean definitely

Follow these crucial steps and you will have the most bad guide on the website. Just keep in mind that you should never, under any circumstances, repeat yourself.



I would like to sincerely thank an anonymous model who's name I won't mention but rhymes with Com Truise.



Questions? Comments?



This is my very first guide so let me know what you think.
Posted Image
Golden Sun= the best game ever made?
Farming and construction are dumb. I am proud to have level 1 in both.
How to write very bad guides (B3$7 3\/4R!!!!1)

#2
bukket
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bukket

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10/10. Very well written and organized, plenty of pictures. Easy to understand.
Posted Image
Bunny Ear and Scythe Owner

#3
The Dark Lord
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The Dark Lord

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Best guide I've ever read. =D>



But maybe mention something about writing in all caps? Nothing beats a pair of aching eyes. :-w
SWAG

Mayn U wanna be like me but U can't be me cuz U ain't got ma swagga on.

#4
mithos23132
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That means that out of everyone who read my guide I scored 10 out of a possible 10. 10/10 *100= 100%

yay me.
Posted Image
Golden Sun= the best game ever made?
Farming and construction are dumb. I am proud to have level 1 in both.
How to write very bad guides (B3$7 3\/4R!!!!1)

#5
ilya
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u get 9.89997843/10.6. i mean people really just want to see their name by a topic eh?

#6
mithos23132
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mithos23132

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u get 9.89997843/10.6. i mean people really just want to see their name by a topic eh?




I know, some of this stuff is absolutly ridiculous. Combat guides that basically say "train on this monster", and nothing else. Do they even think before deciding to make a guide? And thanks for the 93% :lol:
Posted Image
Golden Sun= the best game ever made?
Farming and construction are dumb. I am proud to have level 1 in both.
How to write very bad guides (B3$7 3\/4R!!!!1)

#7
themaninblack
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10/10 but would be better if in all caps so your eyes look like this :shock: :shock:

#8
soulegleon
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10/10 but would be better if in all caps so your eyes look like this :shock: :shock:




yes very much so. also its alot easier to read if you put random sentences in size one.





also you can make the text invivsiblle to standard forums readers unless selected by using the following code:

[color=#eeeeee]put ur text here[/color]



i find this helps the readers to understand guides alot better.



BTW dont add tags to your table of contents alltogether and maybe remove your table of contents as it takes up way too much space



10/10 :XD:
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#9
Ryuuka
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10/10...



did any say AOW? :thumbsup:
Played since February 2001
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13th to 30 hunting
firemaking cape achieved 6th August 2008_-_-_-_Quest cape achieved 19th August 2009

#10
LeonardMart
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you forgot a very important thing. adding images is an insult for bad guides, but if you insist on adding pictures, make sure you use this as the main colors:

Posted Image

YOUR EYES WILL FRY!!!1
Posted Image
Click my main sig to see my fakes :D
Proud to be Mexican, yay!

#11
Cryptogram
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Cryptogram

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excellent gide 10/10



Only criticism is your grammar is too good.



Personally, I'd vote for tic-tacs any day btw
Don't follow me. You might not make it.

All your accounts are belong to us now.

If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator


#12
pokemama
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I'll give it a ten if you add something about people who just joined TIF yesterday, have NO idea what a good guide contains because they've never read any guides in the AOW or in this forum, and post FIVE of this type of "bad guide" on the same day, seeking instant fame?



Oh, and don't forget to identify guides copied word for word (including misspellings) from guides written by other people on the RS forums or other websites, and claiming them as one's own work. :roll:



I especially like "the most bad guide" ending sentence, instead of "the worst" - drives home the point, lol.



And no, to you AOW-ers, I can't keep this topic open forever, but ... for a little while. ;) It made me smile, :D I've been wishing I could write this myself. :-w
Posted ImagePosted Image
it's a lot easier to get over yourself when you look at intelligence the same way you look at beauty, or height, or eye color: being smart is easy, but being good is hard ... being smart is handed to you, being good is handed to *nobody*.

#13
mmmunoz
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nothing personal, but

this is absolutely ridiculous lol.
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#14
mithos23132
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mithos23132

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Thanks for the comments everyone, Ill make an update after school.
Posted Image
Golden Sun= the best game ever made?
Farming and construction are dumb. I am proud to have level 1 in both.
How to write very bad guides (B3$7 3\/4R!!!!1)

#15
One Too Far
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what is this supposed to mean?

#16
mujtaba
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ahahahahah that was funny

#17
Celestrana
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what is this supposed to mean?




This thread is a satire and is only to poke some fun at poorly written "guides".


Knowledge is Power; a Tip.it guide answers many commonly asked questions.
~Celestrana: Making of a Hero ~ (Visit my blog, today!)

#18
sam10187
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You seem to have forgotten that they have probably never heard of a dictionary, and that they have worse grammer than a blind ant.
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There are 10 types of people in the world - those that know binary and those that have a social life

#19
jedidude77
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rofl, i lik3 th3 l00k-0v3r p4rt. I guess someone had to make this guide...

10/10 W00t!
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There's no such thing as "wireless." Just really long extension cords.

#20
jwrm22
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you just wrote one :lol: :XD:
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^^ click my sig for my lesser ranging guide ^^
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i dont play anymore... i think rs is ruined




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