Crazy story but please bear with it

 

 

 

Note: I am in a single sex school (no jokes please). "F" is in a mixed school. Also, I am 15 and have had limited contact with girls who are roughly my own age. Never gone on a date etc etc, Probably a common story so I'll leave it at that

 

 

 

Situation: I would like to be friends with this girl who lives across the road (just friends). They may seem odd but meh...don't care. That or a tleast have a chance to make friends with her. I talked to her once and we seemed to get along ok, then she started thinking I was stalking her simply because I was waiting for a different friend of mine, and F (as I will call the girl I am asking about) saw me, thought I was waiting for her as she walked home from school, spread a rumour around my school that I am a stalker (probably accidentally). Ok, I can deal with it.

 

I decided to explain that I wasn't stalking her, I apologized if it may have seemed that way to her. I left her alone for around 2 weeks, to hopefully get her to understand that I don't wait for her. Then one day I met her again, we talked a bit and she said that I had been waiting for her again. I don't even remember "waiting" for her, but I'm not going to even try explaining that to her again (yes, I defended myself once...she didn't listen). It has now been around a month since I last tried to talk to her.

 

Ok, so if you've read this far, thanks. I realise people probably have bigger problems than me here so please don't think of this as major. "Gurus" should help those who need it most first...in my opinion.

 

 

 

Thanks again, glad nobody on here actually knows me :

ignore her she's bad news.

Crazy story but please bear with it

 

 

 

Note: I am in a single sex school (no jokes please). "F" is in a mixed school. Also, I am 15 and have had limited contact with girls who are roughly my own age. Never gone on a date etc etc, Probably a common story so I'll leave it at that

 

 

 

Situation: I would like to be friends with this girl who lives across the road (just friends). They may seem odd but meh...don't care. That or a tleast have a chance to make friends with her. I talked to her once and we seemed to get along ok, then she started thinking I was stalking her simply because I was waiting for a different friend of mine, and F (as I will call the girl I am asking about) saw me, thought I was waiting for her as she walked home from school, spread a rumour around my school that I am a stalker (probably accidentally). Ok, I can deal with it.

 

I decided to explain that I wasn't stalking her, I apologized if it may have seemed that way to her. I left her alone for around 2 weeks, to hopefully get her to understand that I don't wait for her. Then one day I met her again, we talked a bit and she said that I had been waiting for her again. I don't even remember "waiting" for her, but I'm not going to even try explaining that to her again (yes, I defended myself once...she didn't listen). It has now been around a month since I last tried to talk to her.

 

Ok, so if you've read this far, thanks. I realise people probably have bigger problems than me here so please don't think of this as major. "Gurus" should help those who need it most first...in my opinion.

 

 

 

Thanks again, glad nobody on here actually knows me :

 

 

 

Well thank you for sharing with us. Before I begin, I'd like to point out that you came here for help, and that's what you'll get. Unless someone decides to give you a semi-humurous sarcastic remark. But that doesn't happen here. True gurus will help all, not just those who need it most. Needing help is needing help, no need to humble yourself. Pleasantries asside:

 

 

 

She doesn't seem to apreciate your existance much. I believe "F" was this girl, and some other girl is the one you're looking to befriend. Correct? I'm sure there are more ways of meeting with the friend-girl (from now on, let's call her "A"). For instance, waiting for "A" to show up near where "F" always does, isn't working. Now obviusly you can't know "F" 's schedule with out a bit of stalking, so here is a bit of a solution: Next time you see "A" - have a very interesting conversation ready. Really just take command of the atmosphere and be confident and friendly and he like. Ask her for her number so that you may do something or hang out or whatever. I realize this is how you pick up girls for the most part, but you can pick up friends the same way basically. (in fact in this case you WANT the friend zone). You don't have to worry about attraction and all of that, literally just be yourself. Get her numbere so you can meet her where "F" isn't.

 

 

 

Sorry that took such a long time for such a simple answer ^^;

-

Crazy story but please bear with it

 

 

 

Note: I am in a single sex school (no jokes please). "F" is in a mixed school. Also, I am 15 and have had limited contact with girls who are roughly my own age. Never gone on a date etc etc, Probably a common story so I'll leave it at that

 

 

 

Situation: I would like to be friends with this girl who lives across the road (just friends). They may seem odd but meh...don't care. That or a tleast have a chance to make friends with her. I talked to her once and we seemed to get along ok, then she started thinking I was stalking her simply because I was waiting for a different friend of mine, and F (as I will call the girl I am asking about) saw me, thought I was waiting for her as she walked home from school, spread a rumour around my school that I am a stalker (probably accidentally). Ok, I can deal with it.

 

I decided to explain that I wasn't stalking her, I apologized if it may have seemed that way to her. I left her alone for around 2 weeks, to hopefully get her to understand that I don't wait for her. Then one day I met her again, we talked a bit and she said that I had been waiting for her again. I don't even remember "waiting" for her, but I'm not going to even try explaining that to her again (yes, I defended myself once...she didn't listen). It has now been around a month since I last tried to talk to her.

 

Ok, so if you've read this far, thanks. I realise people probably have bigger problems than me here so please don't think of this as major. "Gurus" should help those who need it most first...in my opinion.

 

 

 

Thanks again, glad nobody on here actually knows me :

 

 

 

Well thank you for sharing with us. Before I begin, I'd like to point out that you came here for help, and that's what you'll get. Unless someone decides to give you a semi-humurous sarcastic remark. But that doesn't happen here. True gurus will help all, not just those who need it most. Needing help is needing help, no need to humble yourself. Pleasantries asside:

 

 

 

She doesn't seem to apreciate your existance much. I believe "F" was this girl, and some other girl is the one you're looking to befriend. Correct? I'm sure there are more ways of meeting with the friend-girl (from now on, let's call her "A"). For instance, waiting for "A" to show up near where "F" always does, isn't working. Now obviusly you can't know "F" 's schedule with out a bit of stalking, so here is a bit of a solution: Next time you see "A" - have a very interesting conversation ready. Really just take command of the atmosphere and be confident and friendly and he like. Ask her for her number so that you may do something or hang out or whatever. I realize this is how you pick up girls for the most part, but you can pick up friends the same way basically. (in fact in this case you WANT the friend zone). You don't have to worry about attraction and all of that, literally just be yourself. Get her numbere so you can meet her where "F" isn't.

 

 

 

Sorry that took such a long time for such a simple answer ^^;

 

 

 

Sorry, "A" is the one I'm already friends with. "F" is the other girl. Thanks anyway though. I tired the number thing before (forgot to mention it)...it failed.

 

 

 

Probably should just leave her alone

This probably isn't even a problem, I just have no idea what I'm supposed to do.

 

 

 

I'll be going to some cocktail party this evening, and the girl I like will be there too. Her friends haven't been invited, so I guess she'll be pretty lonely so it shouldn't be that hard to talk to her. Shouldn't be that hard, everyone tells me there's no problem and whatever. The thing is, I've never actually done this. How do I try to not mess up? Any do's and don'ts? I know, there's not really a tangible problem so it'll be quite hard to answer, but any help/tips are appreciated.

 

 

 

Thanks :D

 

 

 

If she doesn't know anyone you are at an advantage, perfect opportunity to talk to her then go talk to other people and come back later. Tell stories and trigger the attraction switches. (humor, pre selection, being emotive, influencing her emotions, (good and bad) social proof, smiling, confidence, protector of loved ones, willingness to walk away etc etc) If you want you can use that eliciting values routine I posted a few pages back. Have a gander at the touching ladder I posted, look for IOIs (ending silence, hair touching, scratching, body language, touching, leaning in etc etc) and continue escalating the touching, until you feel it's right to do the "do you want to kiss me?" line.

 

 

 

If anything make sure you lean back, have confident but friendly body language, pay attention to your voice tone and volume and disqualify her.

 

 

 

I just had to post this cool disqualifier I heard a girl say: (after they say/do something you disagree with) "Note to self, do not date this guy/girl."

-

If there's any dancing going on (then again at a cocktail party...), you can try if that's something you're comfortable with. If she looks lonely, then you pretty much have an open net to go up to her and talk.

@Djay, Wise up and dont be afraid and NEVER plan a conversation. It only makes things more stressful and awkward, not that you'd want a TETAU's help (yes im holding this grudge from back in fsm chat >.>)

 

 

 

@Horatio666, Tell her straight out "Im not stalking you, why would you think I am?" in a calm, non agressive voice. If she keeps thinking it you need to put her on the spot to both help you and get through her mind "Wait, maybe hes not a stalker", In which case she'll convince herself your not a bad person (unless MJ has possessed you).

@Horatio666, Tell her straight out "Im not stalking you, why would you think I am?" in a calm, non agressive voice. If she keeps thinking it you need to put her on the spot to both help you and get through her mind "Wait, maybe hes not a stalker", In which case she'll convince herself your not a bad person (unless MJ has possessed you).

 

 

 

Sounds like a good idea...but "put on the spot"?

 

 

 

Also want to add another problem...."A" who's been my friend for 3 years told me today that she wanted to end it, that she felt sad everytime she got a text or heard from me at all....she wouldn't tell me why though. Any ideas? I really like her, and well obviously I'd like to umm make amends

@Horatio666, Tell her straight out "Im not stalking you, why would you think I am?" in a calm, non agressive voice. If she keeps thinking it you need to put her on the spot to both help you and get through her mind "Wait, maybe hes not a stalker", In which case she'll convince herself your not a bad person (unless MJ has possessed you).

 

 

 

Sounds like a good idea...but "put on the spot"?

 

 

 

Also want to add another problem...."A" who's been my friend for 3 years told me today that she wanted to end it, that she felt sad everytime she got a text or heard from me at all....she wouldn't tell me why though. Any ideas? I really like her, and well obviously I'd like to umm make amends

 

Wtf? What kind of friend says something like that and then doesn't explain it? Give her space. Don't worry about it for now. You can recover in a few weeks with a nice little conversation. How often did you hang out with her?

@Horatio666, Tell her straight out "Im not stalking you, why would you think I am?" in a calm, non agressive voice. If she keeps thinking it you need to put her on the spot to both help you and get through her mind "Wait, maybe hes not a stalker", In which case she'll convince herself your not a bad person (unless MJ has possessed you).

 

 

 

Sounds like a good idea...but "put on the spot"?

 

 

 

Also want to add another problem...."A" who's been my friend for 3 years told me today that she wanted to end it, that she felt sad everytime she got a text or heard from me at all....she wouldn't tell me why though. Any ideas? I really like her, and well obviously I'd like to umm make amends

 

Wtf? What kind of friend says something like that and then doesn't explain it? Give her space. Don't worry about it for now. You can recover in a few weeks with a nice little conversation. How often did you hang out with her?

 

 

 

Actually not often, she says she doesn't grow close to people btw. It was text based at first because her parents were so protective. Then during the past year, whenever her busy schedule allowed, we met up....she says she's been feeling upset everytime she receives contact from me for a year

@Horatio666, Tell her straight out "Im not stalking you, why would you think I am?" in a calm, non agressive voice. If she keeps thinking it you need to put her on the spot to both help you and get through her mind "Wait, maybe hes not a stalker", In which case she'll convince herself your not a bad person (unless MJ has possessed you).

 

 

 

Sounds like a good idea...but "put on the spot"?

 

 

 

Also want to add another problem...."A" who's been my friend for 3 years told me today that she wanted to end it, that she felt sad everytime she got a text or heard from me at all....she wouldn't tell me why though. Any ideas? I really like her, and well obviously I'd like to umm make amends

 

Wtf? What kind of friend says something like that and then doesn't explain it? Give her space. Don't worry about it for now. You can recover in a few weeks with a nice little conversation. How often did you hang out with her?

 

 

 

Actually not often, she says she doesn't grow close to people btw. It was text based at first because her parents were so protective. Then during the past year, whenever her busy schedule allowed, we met up....she says she's been feeling upset everytime she receives contact from me for a year

 

 

 

Well that's really bizzare. Has she ever seemed upset while you were with her? I find this situation highly strange. Almost like it was her that was texting you. I'm curious to know wtf's up, so fill us in if when you find out. In the mean time though, like I said I suggest you just back away for now. Maybe talk to some mutual friends for details (if there are any). Try not to cause to much drama over it, even if it feels nesesary. Maybe we are both misunderstanding something. Are you sure that she implied that you are the reason that she's upset?

@Horatio666, Tell her straight out "Im not stalking you, why would you think I am?" in a calm, non agressive voice. If she keeps thinking it you need to put her on the spot to both help you and get through her mind "Wait, maybe hes not a stalker", In which case she'll convince herself your not a bad person (unless MJ has possessed you).

 

 

 

Sounds like a good idea...but "put on the spot"?

 

 

 

Also want to add another problem...."A" who's been my friend for 3 years told me today that she wanted to end it, that she felt sad everytime she got a text or heard from me at all....she wouldn't tell me why though. Any ideas? I really like her, and well obviously I'd like to umm make amends

 

Wtf? What kind of friend says something like that and then doesn't explain it? Give her space. Don't worry about it for now. You can recover in a few weeks with a nice little conversation. How often did you hang out with her?

 

 

 

Actually not often, she says she doesn't grow close to people btw. It was text based at first because her parents were so protective. Then during the past year, whenever her busy schedule allowed, we met up....she says she's been feeling upset everytime she receives contact from me for a year

 

 

 

Well that's really bizzare. Has she ever seemed upset while you were with her? I find this situation highly strange. Almost like it was her that was texting you. I'm curious to know wtf's up, so fill us in if when you find out. In the mean time though, like I said I suggest you just back away for now. Maybe talk to some mutual friends for details (if there are any). Try not to cause to much drama over it, even if it feels nesesary. Maybe we are both misunderstanding something. Are you sure that she implied that you are the reason that she's upset?

 

 

 

Yep, unfortunately. I don't even know what I've done. Not even one of her best friends knows why..she says she'll talk to her though, which is something

 

 

 

I know...bizarre huh?

This probably isn't even a problem, I just have no idea what I'm supposed to do.

 

 

 

I'll be going to some cocktail party this evening, and the girl I like will be there too. Her friends haven't been invited, so I guess she'll be pretty lonely so it shouldn't be that hard to talk to her. Shouldn't be that hard, everyone tells me there's no problem and whatever. The thing is, I've never actually done this. How do I try to not mess up? Any do's and don'ts? I know, there's not really a tangible problem so it'll be quite hard to answer, but any help/tips are appreciated.

 

 

 

Thanks :D

 

 

 

Don't over-think it and don't have a script of what you are going to say to her. Just let your talking flow freely.

 

 

 

Oh and don't be afraid of showing your cocky side, but don't let it annoy her. Chicks love cockiness. [Nobody better misquote me. :shame: ] If she's one of those girls who claim to hate guys that are cocky, then be cocky about your 'noncockiness': "I hate when guys always need to showoff. They're so pathetic. I don't care what the hell people think of me. Bla bla bla." Either way, girls really like it when you express yourself in an assertive more dominant manner.

 

 

 

EDIT: So I noticed you posted that yesterday and it was for that evening. Oh well. :-# Let it be a lesson to the rest of you then!

[hide=The story so far]

@Horatio666, Tell her straight out "Im not stalking you, why would you think I am?" in a calm, non agressive voice. If she keeps thinking it you need to put her on the spot to both help you and get through her mind "Wait, maybe hes not a stalker", In which case she'll convince herself your not a bad person (unless MJ has possessed you).

 

 

 

Sounds like a good idea...but "put on the spot"?

 

 

 

Also want to add another problem...."A" who's been my friend for 3 years told me today that she wanted to end it, that she felt sad everytime she got a text or heard from me at all....she wouldn't tell me why though. Any ideas? I really like her, and well obviously I'd like to umm make amends

 

Wtf? What kind of friend says something like that and then doesn't explain it? Give her space. Don't worry about it for now. You can recover in a few weeks with a nice little conversation. How often did you hang out with her?

 

 

 

Actually not often, she says she doesn't grow close to people btw. It was text based at first because her parents were so protective. Then during the past year, whenever her busy schedule allowed, we met up....she says she's been feeling upset everytime she receives contact from me for a year

 

 

 

Well that's really bizzare. Has she ever seemed upset while you were with her? I find this situation highly strange. Almost like it was her that was texting you. I'm curious to know wtf's up, so fill us in if when you find out. In the mean time though, like I said I suggest you just back away for now. Maybe talk to some mutual friends for details (if there are any). Try not to cause to much drama over it, even if it feels nesesary. Maybe we are both misunderstanding something. Are you sure that she implied that you are the reason that she's upset?

 

 

 

Yep, unfortunately. I don't even know what I've done. Not even one of her best friends knows why..she says she'll talk to her though, which is something

 

 

 

I know...bizarre huh?

[/hide]

 

 

 

I texted her today just saying that while I still didn't understand I wanted her to know that I'd still be there for her. She hasn't replied, i didn't expect her to. I also wished her a happy birthday seeing as her birthday is tomorrow

[hide=The story so far]

@Horatio666, Tell her straight out "Im not stalking you, why would you think I am?" in a calm, non agressive voice. If she keeps thinking it you need to put her on the spot to both help you and get through her mind "Wait, maybe hes not a stalker", In which case she'll convince herself your not a bad person (unless MJ has possessed you).

 

 

 

Sounds like a good idea...but "put on the spot"?

 

 

 

Also want to add another problem...."A" who's been my friend for 3 years told me today that she wanted to end it, that she felt sad everytime she got a text or heard from me at all....she wouldn't tell me why though. Any ideas? I really like her, and well obviously I'd like to umm make amends

 

Wtf? What kind of friend says something like that and then doesn't explain it? Give her space. Don't worry about it for now. You can recover in a few weeks with a nice little conversation. How often did you hang out with her?

 

 

 

Actually not often, she says she doesn't grow close to people btw. It was text based at first because her parents were so protective. Then during the past year, whenever her busy schedule allowed, we met up....she says she's been feeling upset everytime she receives contact from me for a year

 

 

 

Well that's really bizzare. Has she ever seemed upset while you were with her? I find this situation highly strange. Almost like it was her that was texting you. I'm curious to know wtf's up, so fill us in if when you find out. In the mean time though, like I said I suggest you just back away for now. Maybe talk to some mutual friends for details (if there are any). Try not to cause to much drama over it, even if it feels nesesary. Maybe we are both misunderstanding something. Are you sure that she implied that you are the reason that she's upset?

 

 

 

Yep, unfortunately. I don't even know what I've done. Not even one of her best friends knows why..she says she'll talk to her though, which is something

 

 

 

I know...bizarre huh?

[/hide]

 

 

 

I texted her today just saying that while I still didn't understand I wanted her to know that I'd still be there for her. She hasn't replied, i didn't expect her to. I also wished her a happy birthday seeing as her birthday is tomorrow

 

 

 

Wishing her a happy birthday is fine, but didn't you just do exactly what I advised against? ;)

 

:shame:

I've got a wee little problem, nothing too major.

 

I don't think that my mates girlfriend is being faithful to him. Just some info first. Back about a few months ago, I went out with her, before random stuff that is irrelevant happened, and we broke up. I later found out she was a lying tart that hops from one guy to another.

 

My mate had met her when we were going out, and then a couple of weeks ago, he asked her out. Of course, she said yes.

 

Know, she told him a few days ago, that she wanted nothing to do with me, and wanted me out of her life. However, she constantly texts me, and we actually really good friends. Didn't really think much of, until today. She sent me a text, saying that she was cold, and she said she was going to have a shower, and I replied, "Yeah, it is pretty cold, good idea". Next text, I get something along the lines of: "If you joined me I wouldn't be cold and we would be doing something if you join me". Every man and his dog could tell what she meant. I told her that I'd rather not, as I didn't want to get my head bashed in by him.

 

She replied, "you know you won't too, I wouldn't tell".

 

 

 

How can I put this to my mate, without loosing either of them as friends? My mate is a person that is quite stubborn, and can be childish.

 

Cheers if you can help :thumbup:

Tidied up on next page

[hide=The story so far]

 

 

 

Sounds like a good idea...but "put on the spot"?

 

 

 

Also want to add another problem...."A" who's been my friend for 3 years told me today that she wanted to end it, that she felt sad everytime she got a text or heard from me at all....she wouldn't tell me why though. Any ideas? I really like her, and well obviously I'd like to umm make amends

 

Wtf? What kind of friend says something like that and then doesn't explain it? Give her space. Don't worry about it for now. You can recover in a few weeks with a nice little conversation. How often did you hang out with her?

 

 

 

Actually not often, she says she doesn't grow close to people btw. It was text based at first because her parents were so protective. Then during the past year, whenever her busy schedule allowed, we met up....she says she's been feeling upset everytime she receives contact from me for a year

 

 

 

Well that's really bizzare. Has she ever seemed upset while you were with her? I find this situation highly strange. Almost like it was her that was texting you. I'm curious to know wtf's up, so fill us in if when you find out. In the mean time though, like I said I suggest you just back away for now. Maybe talk to some mutual friends for details (if there are any). Try not to cause to much drama over it, even if it feels nesesary. Maybe we are both misunderstanding something. Are you sure that she implied that you are the reason that she's upset?

 

 

 

Yep, unfortunately. I don't even know what I've done. Not even one of her best friends knows why..she says she'll talk to her though, which is something

 

 

 

I know...bizarre huh?

[/hide]

 

 

 

I texted her today just saying that while I still didn't understand I wanted her to know that I'd still be there for her. She hasn't replied, i didn't expect her to. I also wished her a happy birthday seeing as her birthday is tomorrow

 

 

 

Wishing her a happy birthday is fine, but didn't you just do exactly what I advised against? ;)

 

:shame:

 

 

 

Be dramatic? It's better than telling her I was going to commit suicide, which is kinda what I said on the first day. So that was basically just to tell her that I was sorry for all that. I probably screwed up again didn't I? I always screw up when it comes to these things.

 

 

 

It's odd, I can't help it

Hey guys, first off thanks to everyone who helps out here. I never knew when I'd need it but I need it now.

 

 

 

I will have been with my girlfriend for 6 months on Wednesday. We meet up a lot; we're not just a couple but we're also best friends. I love her to pieces but I just don't feel like she treats me right. This is the latest example: Yesterday, I asked if she wanted to meet up today - we hadn't met up much all week because we were away. She said she couldn't because she "wasn't allowed". I said fine, and I was texting her in the morning until about 12 when she turned her phone off. I just thought she'd ran out of battery but I was still wondering why she wasn't charging it; she was home, after all. I went to the park with some mates to play football when I see her walk into the park, linking arms, with a 2-years-older guy, who she talks about quite a lot. Shocked, I confront her, and she says that her mum let her out in the end. I asked about her phone, she'd turned it off "because people were prank calling her". I asked why she hadn't told me she was allowed out, and she said "cos I wanted to meet up with my other mates" and then I get slagged off for being controlling and about how she won't go out with me if I carry on.

 

 

 

Now, I don't see what I've done wrong here, and yet I'm being made to feel bad. She changes around other people, and even calls me clingy if I hug her when her friends are around; she even asked me not to hug her when my friends were around. She always thinks that I'm going to cheat on her whenever I even talk to another girl, but I'd never dream of doing that. I love her. I just don't feel like she respects how I feel; she tells me not to talk to people, yet when I tell her I don't like one of her friends she goes ballistic. I'd do anything for her and I've done some pretty crazy things to make her smile... I even got up at 5:30 once to take the 1-and-a-half-hour bus ride to her bus stop just so I can take it the same way back with her. Don't get me wrong, I love her but only when we're alone; other people change her into someone I don't like. I've tried every approach I can think of: I talk to her face to face (did that today, she laughed at me cos I was getting quite upset and she walked off), a sweet text saying I love her but I'm not sure if she loves me (see, they never work cos it always happens again) and even leaving it a while makes matters worse because then I'm apparently "bringing up the past". I just can't win, and all I want is to feel like she loves me back, cos I'm always making the effort and sometimes I just feel like this love is unrequited. I'm never even hugged anymore, I have to ask for them. Basically, am I being really selfish or do I have a right to feel a bit unloved? And what can I do about it?

You are being too clingy.

 

 

 

Try to relax a little dude.

I personally would break up with her. You may be being a little clingy but she's showing no loyalty by ignoring you in front of friends, going out with other guys and basically lieing to you. The fact that she gave you a ultimatum doesn't sound very good either.

Hey guys, first off thanks to everyone who helps out here. I never knew when I'd need it but I need it now.

 

 

 

I will have been with my girlfriend for 6 months on Wednesday. We meet up a lot; we're not just a couple but we're also best friends. I love her to pieces but I just don't feel like she treats me right. This is the latest example: Yesterday, I asked if she wanted to meet up today - we hadn't met up much all week because we were away. She said she couldn't because she "wasn't allowed". I said fine, and I was texting her in the morning until about 12 when she turned her phone off. I just thought she'd ran out of battery but I was still wondering why she wasn't charging it; she was home, after all. I went to the park with some mates to play football when I see her walk into the park, linking arms, with a 2-years-older guy, who she talks about quite a lot. Shocked, I confront her, and she says that her mum let her out in the end. I asked about her phone, she'd turned it off "because people were prank calling her". I asked why she hadn't told me she was allowed out, and she said "cos I wanted to meet up with my other mates" and then I get slagged off for being controlling and about how she won't go out with me if I carry on.

 

 

 

Now, I don't see what I've done wrong here, and yet I'm being made to feel bad. She changes around other people, and even calls me clingy if I hug her when her friends are around; she even asked me not to hug her when my friends were around. She always thinks that I'm going to cheat on her whenever I even talk to another girl, but I'd never dream of doing that. I love her. I just don't feel like she respects how I feel; she tells me not to talk to people, yet when I tell her I don't like one of her friends she goes ballistic. I'd do anything for her and I've done some pretty crazy things to make her smile... I even got up at 5:30 once to take the 1-and-a-half-hour bus ride to her bus stop just so I can take it the same way back with her. Don't get me wrong, I love her but only when we're alone; other people change her into someone I don't like. I've tried every approach I can think of: I talk to her face to face (did that today, she laughed at me cos I was getting quite upset and she walked off), a sweet text saying I love her but I'm not sure if she loves me (see, they never work cos it always happens again) and even leaving it a while makes matters worse because then I'm apparently "bringing up the past". I just can't win, and all I want is to feel like she loves me back, cos I'm always making the effort and sometimes I just feel like this love is unrequited. I'm never even hugged anymore, I have to ask for them. Basically, am I being really selfish or do I have a right to feel a bit unloved? And what can I do about it?

 

 

 

1. The first thing I'm concerned about is her linking arms with another dude. My gut feeling is she's actually interested in someone else (which is usually what happens when someone no longer makes an effort, things don't add up, you get a gut instinct that you aren't being treated fairly yadda yadda).

 

 

 

2. If she no longer makes an effort and isn't "relationship mature" to your liking, find someone else who is. Don't invest energy on a lost cause, no matter how long you've been with them and if it hurts to say goodbye.

Seems like she is the one wearing the pants in your relationship. It's supposed to be mutual - not just her calling the shots. You need to change this, which of course can ultimately lead to a breakup but that's not necessarily a bad thing. If she will break up with you unless everything goes her way, then maybe the break up is what's best. So yeah, either stop letting her be the boss or breakup with her or deal with being the woman in the relationship. It's up to you.