Sex is for procreation

No it's not. Something is only for something if someone created it with that purpose in mind. You'll have a hard time convincing anyone that's true in the case of sex. Besides, using a brick to knock a dangerous criminal unconscious is not using it properly, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be done.

dat telos

 

 

Regarding the ethics of polyamory, you should take a look at the book I'm currently reading: http://www.bazkhani.com/wp-content/uploads/freedom_in_an_unfree_world.pdf

 

More specifically, skip to p. 38 on the PDF-- Chapter 4: The Morality Trap. It's only about 10 pages. Take a look :)

dat telos

I purposefully avoided that word lol

What is dat telos o_O

It's the name of what Vezon and Omar were talking about

 

http://en.wikipedia....os_(philosophy)

Here's one example of the kind of humorous absurdities a teleology of sex leads to. Just kidding, it's actually kind of disheartening. Thankfully, not everyone that stupid thinks they're a philosopher.

Wow. That guy takes neediness to a whole new level. Typical clueless guy that freaks out at women for behaving like women, and not living up to his unrealistic expectations.

I don't even.... I don't see how him expecting her to be faithful is needy/clueless? I don't see how him expecting her to be faithful is an unrealistic expectation.

Sometimes i don't understand where you get the things you say :\.

It was more of his reaction that I was labeling as needy and clueless.

 

If I recall correctly, the unrealistic expectations thing was the first thing I debated on here regarding poly matters. I think that was around early February if you want to look for the posts.

But what i don't understand is how you can call it needy/clueless.

His reactions, although not rational, wasn't really needy. Him telling her in a very, VERY direct way to gtfo my life isn't needy. It's quite the opposite. He's telling her "I don't need you in my life if you're going to open your legs to every guy you meet". Doesn't really sound needy to me. Needy would have been "Alright so you [bleep]ed another guy, but i still want to be with you because i love you too much to give you up".

And i don't get what there is to be clueless about. Do you mean he's clueless because he could not foresee her cheating on him the day they started dating? Are we to expect our partners to cheat on us, or what do you mean?

^And yet he decides to go for one last bit of intercourse before ending it, and puts his ejaculate in her makeup. Yep, totally over her.

 

How about she was in the wrong for agreeing to a monogomous relationship and then not obeying the rules of it, and thus breaking his trust.

 

He was wrong because he decided to get "revenge" and do his best to hurt her emotionally (along with all those NSFW things he did with her cream and stuff, which was just plain mean).

If he had dumped her and told her why that would have been enough. It might have taught her the error in her ways and his conscience would be clear.

Instead he decided to give her an emotional beating (the fake wedding ring was cruel as hell, seriously).

 

I mean, the girl made a mistake (a huge one but still). And from his story she WAS remorseful.

He reacted to it by unleashing every bit of spite andpent up aggression he had because he had a good excuse.

[but secretly I'm still convinced that muggi is actually just a heartbroken fellow that found a way to ease his pain by having multiple alternative relationships in the stead of a a singular conventional one, that proved unsuccessful to his persona.]

 

as for my opinion of rational revenge? I would love LOVE to have wreaked some of the same havoc upon my ex. And believe you me, I considered it. But I didn't. Not that I didn't have the balls, or whatever but because I couldn't bring myself to hurt someone I cared so much about, even if she had done so to me. I've had many opportunities since to just stomp on her, but I've held strong. Inevitably, she moved away and I've done my best to move on. Sadly, not as well as I'd like, but everyday is a theoretical step in the right direction. Perhaps I justified it in telling myself that exiting her life was the best revenge I could have. So yes, there is rationality in revenge. It allows a thought process that yields personal growth [be it negative or positive] and then a course of action that may help shape the "victim". This may also leave some form of remorse or regret within yourself, thus more personal change. Emotionally driven or not, the thought of revenge is rational to me.

^Being a good guy =/= not having balls.

Not having balls means you're afraid to do something. Being a good person means you don't want to hurt people needlessly because that's sadistic and cruel.

 

This guy had balls and forgot his morals.

 

Also: This topic really livened up the place didn't it? I haven't seen people replying this fast in ages.

But what i don't understand is how you can call it needy/clueless.

His reactions, although not rational, wasn't really needy. Him telling her in a very, VERY direct way to gtfo my life isn't needy. It's quite the opposite. He's telling her "I don't need you in my life if you're going to open your legs to every guy you meet". Doesn't really sound needy to me. Needy would have been "Alright so you [bleep]ed another guy, but i still want to be with you because i love you too much to give you up".

And i don't get what there is to be clueless about. Do you mean he's clueless because he could not foresee her cheating on him the day they started dating? Are we to expect our partners to cheat on us, or what do you mean?

 

Neediness is the opposite of being carefree and not caring about how things end up. If he was carefree, he would've found out she was cheating and been like, "OK. Time to for me to move on." The fact that she affected him so deeply suggests how territorial and clingy he is. Hell, he was even crying when he finally let it all out.

 

[but secretly I'm still convinced that muggi is actually just a heartbroken fellow that found a way to ease his pain by having multiple alternative relationships in the stead of a a singular conventional one, that proved unsuccessful to his persona.]

 

:lol: haha, I genuinely wouldn't be surprised if most people who follow my posts feel the same way. Look at TV characters like Barney Stinson on How I Met Your Mother and The Todd from Scrubs. Those characters are written as having deep-seeded issues causing them to act the way they are... so when a person like me comes along and has acts in similar manners to them, I can't really blame them for thinking "That dude's just trying to fill a void in his heart with a life like that."

 

People don't want to consider the fact that you can behave/live like that and be perfectly happy... or worse, more happy than people who don't live like that.

Lol i hardly doubt anyone is going to compare you/your way of thinking/your way of acting to Barney Stinson. Maybe that's the image you're trying to convey, but that's not the image i'm getting. I mean no offense, but i found that rather comical.

My point was people who don't buy into the monogamy trap seem to get labeled as having issues they're trying to repress, and I wouldn't be surprised of more people like RPG view me that way. That's how they write Barney Stinson and The Todd-- people who don't care for monogamy and therefore have "problems" fueling such beliefs.

 

Glad you don't see me as similar to Barney, though. I appreciate it.

My point was people who don't buy into the monogamy trap seem to get labeled as having issues they're trying to repress, and I wouldn't be surprised of more people like RPG view me that way. That's how they write Barney Stinson and The Todd-- people who don't care for monogamy and therefore have "problems" fueling such beliefs.

 

Glad you don't see me as similar to Barney, though. I appreciate it.

I don't like the bolded. It feels offensive somehow. I don't know why lol.

Neediness is the opposite of being carefree and not caring about how things end up. If he was carefree, he would've found out she was cheating and been like, "OK. Time to for me to move on." The fact that she affected him so deeply suggests how territorial and clingy he is. Hell, he was even crying when he finally let it all out.

I guess this shows that I'm a monogomy guy, but I still can't see how him actually getting emotionally upset about someone breaking his trust defines him as needy. Moving away from this example, which has more issues attached to it, if I was dating a girl and she broke my trust and cheated on me, how is me feeling upset about that needy at all? Hell, what if I'm not even dating her? What if it's not a her? What if my best friend breaks my trust somehow and I get upset over it? Is it needy to do so? I mean, yes, I agree that eventually I would need to accept it and get over it. But to immediately just say, "Well, misplaced that trust. I'll move on" without feeling any anger or frustration towards the person... Well, that seems just impossible to do. It's natural to feel that way, not needy. The reason I used the best friend example as opposed to a girlfriend example was so that you couldn't say, "Well, he shouldn't have been that emotionally attached to that person (if he was in a polyamorous relationship, which I know you'd advocate for :P)."

You can get just as emotionally attached in a poly relationship without being needy. This is because when a girl leaves you in a poly relationship, there is a very strong chance she will return to you at a later time to resume the relationship and therefore it's hard to feel needy about it. Plus there's other girls you like to keep you happy. In mono, she is usually gone for good. No such thing as cheating in poly, either.

 

Discussing neediness in non-romantic relationships is irrelevent, imo. Mostly since I think if a friend betrays you, you'll react differently than if your gf had done the same thing.

Ok, forget poly relationships. What of the relationship with a best friend? (not sure you addressed this part of my post; at least, I can't see where you did). My best friend violates my trust; you label me as needy if I get upset/angry about it? I'll eventually need to move on, but that doesn't mean whatever emotions I feel (naturally due to the nature of the situation) immediately following the betrayal means I'm needy. This sounds like stoicism, which is, I believe, impossible to achieve and inhuman.

Just edited my post :P reread it

Keep in mind though that there is nothing wrong with FEELING bad, if its your best friend or gf or whoever that upsets you. It's only bad when you act on those feelings.

Yeah, just realized that.

 

Ok. I was just having trouble labeling people 'needy' when they get upset when someone breaks their trust. It seems like such a natural thing to do. I mean, I find it hard to believe that anyone would not at least be slightly upset/angry upon finding that someone broke their trust. But then again, trust in the sense of being faithful to one's partner is out of the question in a poly relationship.

In mono, she is usually gone for good. No such thing as cheating in poly, either.

Mono girls also come back quite often. That's one of the more common cases of cheating.

They don't usually stay for long though. Once a mono relationship ends once, it's usually broken beyond repair.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but in "mono" relationships where one of them cheat, then they get back together, doesn't this more often then not eventually lead to the cheater cheating again? At which point you have a cycle of cheating, being caught, being sad, getting back together, then cheating again. Aaaand suddenly you aren't having a real mono relationship.

 

Also, I'd love to see on like a sitcom or something, guy1 is married to girl1, guy2 is married to girl2. Guy1 and girl2 see each other on the side, while guy2 and girl1 see each other on the side. Then they meet up on one of their dates.

 

Lastly, I have an urge to nitpick a comment >_>

 

Keep in mind though that there is nothing wrong with FEELING bad, if its your best friend or gf or whoever that upsets you. It's only bad when you act on those feelings.

 

Wouldn't that depend on how you act on those feelings?