Looks like you got over your nervousness. Questions are always a good sign, they mean someone is either rediculously polite, or actually interested. And your talking about your interesting stories reminds me of this:

 

I think that my main problem is i find myself a lot more boring than i really am. I don't give myself a lot of credit at all. For god's sake. I did in 6 months what most people do in 2 years (referring to my aviation school). And this is what's causing me a lot of trouble when it comes to a new relationship or dating. I fear so much that i bore the people around me. But i know that i'm actually the funny guy. I know it. I'm the one always cracking the jokes, making the people around me laugh. I'm the one that makes a fool of myself so other's can have a good time. I think i should probably start giving myself credit for this.

 

Now the reason i say this is because i spent a lot of today talking to the girl. She sent me a text around 2pm (when i woke up) and we took things from there. We had all kinds of weird conversations and she laughed a lot. And i LOVED it. She seemed so into what i was telling her, and she kept on asking and asking and asking questions. This is one thing i did not think about at all. I have a HUGE upper hand here, over the average guy. I'm foreign. I've been places and seen places she never has. My up bringing is a lot different from hers, and what she's used to. And that already makes me a tiny bit more interesting than the average guy around here (not trying to put them down, the same thing would happen if they were to visit South Africa). So i actually started using that to my advantage today. Making myself seem a lot more interesting than i think i am, just by being honest.

 

Oh and she told me she wanted to go out tomorrow, me and my friends could meet up with her and her friends somewhere. And then just now she told me she's not in the mood really to go out, so maybe the two of us could just go do something together?

Score?

:D

 

If you ever need a quick list of advantages you have over the average guy, just imagine yourself talking to someone who's making up excuses as to why they can't do the things you do.

 

Ex: "no noxx I can't do that because I've never traveled the world like you have; you have an awesome sense of humor but I don't; I'm not as smart as you" etc

In which case, the nerves are stemming from putting the girl on a pedestal and not having any other options going for you.

 

Putting something on a pedestal implies that you think more of them than they deserve through personal merit. That isn't always true.

 

Not sure what you're trying to say here. Could you elaborate?

Odd. I've found that most girls find guys who have a lot of options to be very, very, very attractive.

 

Abundance overrides any sort of "neediness" that may be inferred from that. I think I've made it pretty obvious that I don't need women to be happy. And I do a pretty good job of communicating that to the people I'm with.

I don't want to open this can of beans again as it's way past its expiration date, but most guys don't do polyamorous relationships, and a large percentage of women preffer having feelings towards a guy that they don't have to share with others.

 

The way it usually happens is:

Girl meets poly guy

Girl dates poly guy

Girl realizes poly guy won't get exclusive

 

Outcome A:

Girl leaves poly guy

Poly guy finds another girl, and replaces her

 

Outcome B:

Girl stays with poly guy

Girl eventually meets mono guy

Girl leaves poly guy to date mono guy

Girl gets bored of mono guy, returns to poly guy

 

 

The girl's personality here is more or less irrelevant. The vast majority of girls will follow that pattern... everybody says "oh I could never do that poly thing!" But most of them really will, they just don't know it ;)

 

(random thought while typing this response: Poly Guy sounds like the name of a Pokemon :lol:)

Odd. I've found that most girls find guys who have a lot of options to be very, very, very attractive.

 

Abundance overrides any sort of "neediness" that may be inferred from that. I think I've made it pretty obvious that I don't need women to be happy. And I do a pretty good job of communicating that to the people I'm with.

I don't want to open this can of beans again as it's way past its expiration date, but most guys don't do polyamorous relationships, and a large percentage of women preffer having feelings towards a guy that they don't have to share with others.

 

The way it usually happens is:

Girl meets poly guy

Girl dates poly guy

Girl realizes poly guy won't get exclusive

 

Outcome A:

Girl leaves poly guy

Poly guy finds another girl, and replaces her

 

Outcome B:

Girl stays with poly guy

Girl eventually meets mono guy

Girl leaves poly guy to date mono guy

Girl gets bored of mono guy, returns to poly guy

 

 

The girl's personality here is more or less irrelevant. The vast majority of girls will follow that pattern... everybody says "oh I could never do that poly thing!" But most of them really will, they just don't know it ;)

 

(random thought while typing this response: Poly Guy sounds like the name of a Pokemon :lol:)

But a question now arises: which outcome is more likely to happen? What percentage of women will leave the poly guy, and never come back? Most guys weigh risk vs. reward ever so slightly (when not thinking with the wrong head), and usually, they do not want to anger a woman, therefore they do not pursue multiple "options" in case the "options" do not like being just an "option".

 

As for pokemon, I remember that there was this space pokemon called Polygon that resembled a duck made out of crystal.

 

EDIT: Dear God, I sound like I'm not a guy :shock: .

In which case, the nerves are stemming from putting the girl on a pedestal and not having any other options going for you.

 

Putting something on a pedestal implies that you think more of them than they deserve through personal merit. That isn't always true.

 

Not sure what you're trying to say here. Could you elaborate?

 

That people get nervous when on dates for more reasons than over-idolizing the person they want to impress. To also use the phrases you used with such a specific context & your particular preferences, it kinda seems like you're putting an unnecessarily negative spin on wanting to impress someone simply because it's someone - particularly one woman.

 

IDK MAN.

 

EDIT: Yeah the black and white "outcome a"/"outcome b" is kind of what I'm talking about here...

More than half return.

 

Lol I was thinking of porygon and polywag/whirl/wrath

In which case, the nerves are stemming from putting the girl on a pedestal and not having any other options going for you.

 

Putting something on a pedestal implies that you think more of them than they deserve through personal merit. That isn't always true.

 

Not sure what you're trying to say here. Could you elaborate?

 

That people get nervous when on dates for more reasons than over-idolizing the person they want to impress. To also use the phrases you used with such a specific context & your particular preferences, it kinda seems like you're putting an unnecessarily negative spin on wanting to impress someone simply because it's someone - particularly one woman.

 

IDK MAN.

 

EDIT: Yeah the black and white "outcome a"/"outcome b" is kind of what I'm talking about here...

 

Well would you agree that having more than one date on the calendar would make each date less nerve-wracking?

Porygon is the name of the Pokemon you're both thinking of.

 

It was really bothering me.

I would make that my avatar if I wasn't so attached to my flashing DT avatar that I've had for 7 years now haha

Well would you agree that having more than one date on the calendar would make each date less nerve-wracking?

 

No, because there's an equal chance that a person would be just as nervous for every date. Being desirable does help your confidence and your image, but only to a point.

What would that person be nervous about?

I love Randox's relevant Dilbert comics.

The idea isn't to make them compete and make yourself like the catch, Kimberly, or at least that has nothing to do with the problem of nerves. It's just that if you don't worry too much about being alone or not having alternatives you'll be better off because you,re not in a do-or-die situation.

The idea isn't to make them compete and make yourself like the catch, Kimberly, or at least that has nothing to do with the problem of nerves. It's just that if you don't worry too much about being alone or not having alternatives you'll be better off because you,re not in a do-or-die situation.

 

There's many different ways to achieve that mindset, and again, it's not the only reason driving nerves.

Could you provide some examples of what people would be worried about?

 

And some alternative methods to achieve the aforementioned mindset?

 

I'm getting the feeling that you're against a guy having multiple options >_>

Do you guys prefer "girly" girls, or girls that are independent, and like to do things for themselves? By girly I mean girls that always want you to text first, and pick up the check. The independent girls seem to be more difficult, but, I love the girls that let me pick what we do every single time we go out. I tend to go back and forth between each type, though.

We went on our second date tonight. We went bowling. It was good. Before the night was even over she asked me what i was doing tomorrow. We're going to the beach tomorrow.

She's so cute.

We kissed :)

We went on our second date tonight. We went bowling. It was good. Before the night was even over she asked me what i was doing tomorrow. We're going to the beach tomorrow.

She's so cute.

We kissed :)

Isn't life wonderful when you don't start stressing over the smallest detail :razz: ?

 

Glad to hear it's working out!

Happy to hear it Noxx!

 

Do you guys prefer "girly" girls, or girls that are independent, and like to do things for themselves? By girly I mean girls that always want you to text first, and pick up the check. The independent girls seem to be more difficult, but, I love the girls that let me pick what we do every single time we go out. I tend to go back and forth between each type, though.

 

I like treating girl like girly girls [texting first, paying for everything] and I like being hated for it. If the girl doesn't tell me to stop I know she's not the girl for me. Though I do enjoy feeling like the gentlemanly type in some regard. I'll totally weed, mow and seed your lawn for you if we bang later. That's okay by me.

Sooo... basically as long as you have sex you don't care? or am I reading that wrong.

Independent. Girly girls make no sense to me. Be a man and text me.

Independent. Girly girls make no sense to me. Be a man and text me.

 

Yeah Girly girls are generally a lot more work to deal with.

Sooo... basically as long as you have sex you don't care? or am I reading that wrong.

 

more like if we're going to be playing the "manly man boyfriend of her dreams for the girly girl" game I'd better be getting sex.

My girlfriend of 21 months still hangs out with her ex boyfriend, who was before me. And I honestly hate his guts.

A week or so ago, her ex boyfriend told her he liked her (and still does). This resulted in my girlfriend getting really stressed over it and eventually having to think to herself 'Do I like him again?' And she came to the conclusion she didn't like him.

She still hangs out with him often, and it really bugs me.

I tell her it bugs me and told her to put herself in my shoes, because wouldn't anyone feel uncomfortable about your girlfriend hanging out with a guy that she had to ask herself if she liked him or not? She knows for a fact it bugs me so much, but she continues to hang out with him.

I do not want to take away her freedom, she is her own person, and I trust her. But this isn't a matter of trust, it's a matter of respect. I don't want her to completely ignore how I feel and continue to hang out with him.

They do not hang out alone, though, the group is; my girlfriend, the ex, and the ex's best friend who is a guy.

After I told her about this, she said 'I'll always have a special bond with my old friends. Guys or girls. They bring back my childhood.' I understand that and I don't wanna take that away from her, but it just digs so deep under my skin.

What do I do, guys?