I've been with this one girl for not too long, but at the moment and for a while my schedule has been filling up a lot of my time (work, school, community/family oriented stuff.) so I do not get a lot of spare time recently. Also that I am getting sick. What should I do/say exactly without offending her in a way like I am purposely putting her off? I'm really not the best when it comes to relationships and I don't want to damage the one I have at the moment.

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And, I just got dumped. :/

 

Oh damn! We're here for you man :)

 

Can I ask why?

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Can't say I didn't see it coming, but sorry to hear bro

She says it's because her feelings have changed, but I think thats a load of crap. Her friend says there's something, so I'm trying to find out.

 

 

Firstly, sorry :/ Also don't go looking to hard or you will find things that will make the pain worse.

 

Other news managed to find this dress/skirt (can't tell what it is as it's so bleeping short) that she has been wanting for about 4 months. That's the Christmas present finally sorted >.<

I've been with this one girl for not too long, but at the moment and for a while my schedule has been filling up a lot of my time (work, school, community/family oriented stuff.) so I do not get a lot of spare time recently. Also that I am getting sick. What should I do/say exactly without offending her in a way like I am purposely putting her off? I'm really not the best when it comes to relationships and I don't want to damage the one I have at the moment.

Tell her exactly that... "Listen, I'd love to hang out with you, and I would if I could, but I'm getting ill and I have work to do. I promise I'll make time for you as soon as I'm back on my feet." She'll understand. If you must, tell her you don't want her to feel like you're trying to avoid her, and that you'd rather be with her than studying.

In a situation when you need to turn someone down even though you wish you could accommodate them, don't try to sweeten the truth, since you're being so sweet already. Sure, they'll be disappointed. The blame won't be pinned down on you though, as it's not your fault. As such, you don't really need to overthink it:

a) Tell person that if the choice was entirely yours, you would do what they want

b) Point out the choice isn't yours

c) If possible, offer compromise.

 

Rob, I'm sure you'll make it through. You should write a song about what you feel, that's what I do when I'm down. It doesn't really cheer me up but at least I've written a good, heartfelt song. Don't worry too much about why she broke up with you.

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Now she's saying she still likes/loves me, and she wanted to make it work.

That doesn't make it easier to get over. :/

 

Not easy but try and ignore her..

Now she's saying she still likes/loves me, and she wanted to make it work.

That doesn't make it easier to get over. :/

Again, don't talk to her about it. If you do talk to her, tell her you're not over it but you'd rather not discuss it. It's not going to get you anywhere.

Now she's saying she still likes/loves me, and she wanted to make it work.

That doesn't make it easier to get over. :/

Did you ever figure out why she dumped you in the first place?

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Now she's saying she still likes/loves me, and she wanted to make it work.

That doesn't make it easier to get over. :/

 

I've been in that same spot and it sucks. Others will tell you to move on, but it's alot easier for people to say that when they don't have the same feelings that you do for that woman. If you honestly feel like the relationship is worth saving, then by all means go for it, but if you feel like she might hurt you again then save yourself anymore heartache and let her go. It won't be worth it if only later on she does the same thing to you again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do any of you ever get a sudden feeling of loneliness? Just recently I feel lonely and I don't know what it is. I think I need a new woman in my life :/

From my perspective, I would say move on. It honestly doesn't seem like she has much faith in the relationship. If she feels like something isn't right, then unless she can get over that, odds are she'll continue feeling that way. But that's just my view from an outside perspective. Obviously you know her and your relationship better than you do and as Craiglowery said, moving on is easier said than done.

 

Do any of you ever get a sudden feeling of loneliness? Just recently I feel lonely and I don't know what it is. I think I need a new woman in my life :/

I felt lonely last night. Then I cuddled with my cat and felt better. :P

You're 14. There will be many more girls after her. Cut contact with her, focus on the stuff you like and take up a new hobby like boxing.

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You can be friends after you get over her.

 

I've done it before, both staying in contact and cutting it, and the later is by far the better option.

 

If you don't talk to her, you could be over her in a month and resume normal life. If you do, 6 months down the track when she is dating somebody else and just imagining them together hurts you'll know what I'm talking about.

I'd rather not cut contact with her; we were good friends before dating, and hopefully we'll still be friends after.

 

Bro, you're only 14?

 

DUDE you've got a whole slew of women in your future. Don't get hung up on this one. I WISH I knew that when I was 14. Seriously, dust yourself off and get back into the game, there's so much out there...

 

 

also: I think somone called me out on having a shallow life of only school and women as my cares? I'd like to point out that i don't give much of a crap about school, and while I do love talking about women, its mostly exemplified by me trying to stay on topic in this thread. Please don't presume you know my life :P. There is more to me than just chasing womanfolk

I WISH I knew that when I was 14.

 

This.

 

I wish I had someone like me to give advice when I was younger. Assuming I listened, it would have made things to much easier.

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What does me being 14 have to do with anything?

 

You're youth provides you with more much opportunity for experience that some of us never got at such an age. Hell, I didn't even try to get a girl until I was nearly 16. I was much to intimidated. I wish I could go back and tell myself otherwise...

I think they just mean that because you're young, there is a VERY slim chance that if you two get back together she will be the girl you end up spending the rest of your life with. Therefore, why jump back into a highly questionable relationship where both parties are filled with doubt about it succeeding. Spare yourself the pain and keep looking because you're likely to break up with her again eventually anyway.

 

I know that's a depressing way to put it, but statistically speaking it's pretty darn accurate.

 

Furthermore, I think most guys here think that you should spend time with a lot of different women when you're young rather than sticking to one.

Furthermore, I think most guys here think that you should spend time with a lot of different women when you're young rather than sticking to one.

 

To an extent. I hate the idea of being monogamous with someone straight away, or just for the sake of staying with them. I'm sticking to 1 currently only because there is nobody else I want to be with. For a guy not in love this holds a lot more weight than I think it would for a girl. There are plenty of others I could be with. Hell, I could have a 3some tomorrow if I wanted. Something most guys can only dream about. If I were even slightly interested, I would probably leave her because this way it seems so much more real.

 

I'm fairly new to the whole relationship thing so I might change my philosophy later, but this is what I believe now.

14 is too young to think of relationships as serious. While its adorable and heartwarming to find people that take relationships serious at all, at 14 ->realistically you won't be together very long, so theres no sense in getting attached.

 

I wish people took relationships seriously at my age >_>

14 is too young to think of relationships as serious. While its adorable and heartwarming to find people that take relationships serious at all, at 14 ->realistically you won't be together very long, so theres no sense in getting attached.

 

I wish people took relationships seriously at my age >_>

 

It's hard to avoid that, being that young and naive. Not that I'm different. I bet every 5 years we think back about how little we knew. Until we stop learning, get comfortable with what we know and dig our heels into sticking to our outdated ideas.

 

That would be why parents get so frustrated when you don't listen.