"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Omar]

I second what Sarge said.

[Furah]

So my friend started talking with my girlfriend, with the kind of person he is this won't end well. He's rather anti-social, malicious, and he has no care for others and their feelings. We get along rather well, but he's unfortunately the kind of guy who would spike the drinks at a party out of boredom. He ended up causing lots of problems in the last relationship that someone in our close group had by causing the girl to hate him so much that hatred ended up affecting the relationship. I clearly don't want this to happen with mine, but I'm not sure how to ask him to not do it, and how to warn my girlfriend.

 

He's a good friend and all, but anything remotely social basically turns him into a [bleep]. :sad:

[obfuscator]

I just feel we're falling apart.

If you only feel like you're falling apart because of her friend, that's a sign of something else.

 

If you feel like you're giving more than you're getting, tell her how you feel, and that you're considering ending it. If she cares about you enough, she'll give you what you want. If not, you'll be better off without her (as harsh as that sounds).

[Sam]

I just feel we're falling apart.

If you only feel like you're falling apart because of her friend, that's a sign of something else.

 

How do you mean?

[obfuscator]

Well, it can be anything really, but generally if an annoying friend was the only problem it wouldn't be a big deal. Like you said, if it feels like she's de-prioritizing you that could be a problem....

[Sam]

Ellen (girlfriend) only seems to 'de-prioritize' and act weird with me when she's around this other girl.

 

They asked me to meet up with them yesterday but when I got there it seemed straight away that I wasn't incredibly welcome for some reason. I don't know if it's just me being silly, though.

[obfuscator]

Well, previous advice stands. Talk to her about how you feel, and if she blows you off, break up with her (or at least make it clear you have a serious problem with it).

[Sam]

I'll probably confront her friend in the new year.

 

In other news, today (12/24/10) I've been going out with Ellen for 5 months :D <3:

[aquariusman]

I'll probably confront her friend in the new year.

 

In other news, today (12/24/10) I've been going out with Ellen for 5 months :D <3:

Congratulations, but on a downer, I find monthiversaries the stupidest things ever. Except maybe when people that have been going out for not even a month say they're "in love".

 

But on an up note, me and this girl I've been having a thing with agree with what we are: "Friends that kiss", contrary to my belief that she saw it as quite a bit more than that. Helllllll yes. So much worry off my mind about hurting her now that I know that.

[tripsis]

I like "monthiversaries." I find them fun to acknowledge up until you hit the one year mark. Then they kind of lose their value for me.

[Lemeja]

What does it mean when you know a girl is completely wrong for you, and does nothing but hurt you, but you still have strong feelings for her? I've had feelings for this girl for a couple YEARS and yes, we've messed around before. Lately, we've been talking a bit more but today I just realized she's still involved with a guy I thought was old news. I don't want to be just friends with her, and honestly I don't feel like I can. Would it be wrong to outright say that?

[RpgGamer]

What does it mean when you know a girl is completely wrong for you, and does nothing but hurt you, but you still have strong feelings for her? I've had feelings for this girl for a couple YEARS and yes, we've messed around before. Lately, we've been talking a bit more but today I just realized she's still involved with a guy I thought was old news. I don't want to be just friends with her, and honestly I don't feel like I can. Would it be wrong to outright say that?

 

INB4GFTOG

 

no, its not wrong to say how you feel. It never is, but she's wronged you in the past and now she'll reap what she sows. It'd be wrong if you straight up hated her with no justification. But seeing as how you two have a history of a less-than-mutual relationship, your feelings are not without causation. I'd say tell how you feel. She might dig the honesty ;)

[Lemeja]

What does it mean when you know a girl is completely wrong for you, and does nothing but hurt you, but you still have strong feelings for her? I've had feelings for this girl for a couple YEARS and yes, we've messed around before. Lately, we've been talking a bit more but today I just realized she's still involved with a guy I thought was old news. I don't want to be just friends with her, and honestly I don't feel like I can. Would it be wrong to outright say that?

 

INB4GFTOG

 

 

Forgot to add that.

 

How would I go about saying this..

[RpgGamer]

What does it mean when you know a girl is completely wrong for you, and does nothing but hurt you, but you still have strong feelings for her? I've had feelings for this girl for a couple YEARS and yes, we've messed around before. Lately, we've been talking a bit more but today I just realized she's still involved with a guy I thought was old news. I don't want to be just friends with her, and honestly I don't feel like I can. Would it be wrong to outright say that?

 

INB4GFTOG

 

 

Forgot to add that.

 

How would I go about saying this..

 

How you explained it wasn't so bad. Just...change it to be grammatically correct:

 

"I have strong feelings for you, but you've hurt me alot in the past, and I'm not sure what to make of it. It's been years, but I still feel this way, and everytime I feel secure in my emotions, something pops up and I'm right back to the confusion I started in. Like for instance, just recently, [what'shisface] started coming up again. I thought you were done with that guy! He's not right for you. I know it. I can see it. I just don't understand why you can't. And I can't watch you go around and live the life you do with him. I'm sorry, but I just can't handle it. I want to be with you, and I can't sit back and watch you act this way with other guys. I want to be with you. And if you're aren't capable of giving me that, than I'm not comfortable being around you at all. The emotional strain is just too much. I'm sorry. This is just how I feel"

 

 

sound about right there, bro?

[The_Gabe]

What does it mean when you know a girl is completely wrong for you, and does nothing but hurt you, but you still have strong feelings for her? I've had feelings for this girl for a couple YEARS and yes, we've messed around before. Lately, we've been talking a bit more but today I just realized she's still involved with a guy I thought was old news. I don't want to be just friends with her, and honestly I don't feel like I can. Would it be wrong to outright say that?

 

INB4GFTOG

 

 

Forgot to add that.

 

How would I go about saying this..

 

How you explained it wasn't so bad. Just...change it to be grammatically correct:

 

"I have strong feelings for you, but you've hurt me alot in the past, and I'm not sure what to make of it. It's been years, but I still feel this way, and everytime I feel secure in my emotions, something pops up and I'm right back to the confusion I started in. Like for instance, just recently, [what'shisface] started coming up again. I thought you were done with that guy! He's not right for you. I know it. I can see it. I just don't understand why you can't. And I can't watch you go around and live the life you do with him. I'm sorry, but I just can't handle it. I want to be with you, and I can't sit back and watch you act this way with other guys. I want to be with you. And if you're aren't capable of giving me that, than I'm not comfortable being around you at all. The emotional strain is just too much. I'm sorry. This is just how I feel"

 

 

sound about right there, bro?

 

Sounds like a good monologue for a play.

[RpgGamer]

What does it mean when you know a girl is completely wrong for you, and does nothing but hurt you, but you still have strong feelings for her? I've had feelings for this girl for a couple YEARS and yes, we've messed around before. Lately, we've been talking a bit more but today I just realized she's still involved with a guy I thought was old news. I don't want to be just friends with her, and honestly I don't feel like I can. Would it be wrong to outright say that?

 

INB4GFTOG

 

 

Forgot to add that.

 

How would I go about saying this..

 

How you explained it wasn't so bad. Just...change it to be grammatically correct:

 

"I have strong feelings for you, but you've hurt me alot in the past, and I'm not sure what to make of it. It's been years, but I still feel this way, and everytime I feel secure in my emotions, something pops up and I'm right back to the confusion I started in. Like for instance, just recently, [what'shisface] started coming up again. I thought you were done with that guy! He's not right for you. I know it. I can see it. I just don't understand why you can't. And I can't watch you go around and live the life you do with him. I'm sorry, but I just can't handle it. I want to be with you, and I can't sit back and watch you act this way with other guys. I want to be with you. And if you're aren't capable of giving me that, than I'm not comfortable being around you at all. The emotional strain is just too much. I'm sorry. This is just how I feel"

 

 

sound about right there, bro?

 

Sounds like a good monologue for a play.

 

Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

 

EDIT:

 

"Aren't we all just players on the stage of life?"

[Grogthurk]

How can I politely tell a friend of my girlfriend to stop being such a mean, manipulative person?

 

This girl is actually doing my nut in, just constantly taking the mick and just genuinely firing subtle but harsh insults at me.

 

Perhaps it would just be better if I just left my girlfriend, seems it would make people a whole lot more happy.

 

 

There is one way to do this.

 

Don't say a [bleep]ing thing. Never ever put yourself between your girlfriend and her friends or family. That's a battle you WILL lose.

 

My fiancée knows I can't stand 99% of her friends, but we've been together for over 4 years and it eventually just becomes known. But I get over it. She's with me - not them. I sleep easy at night. Just do not worry about it.

[JeremyM]

Told my girlfriend that I loved her for the first time a week ago :). Feels so good saying it everyday and her saying it back!

[Furah]

Told my girlfriend that I loved her for the first time a week ago :). Feels so good saying it everyday and her saying it back!

How long you two been going out?

[muggiwhplar]

What does it mean when you know a girl is completely wrong for you, and does nothing but hurt you, but you still have strong feelings for her? I've had feelings for this girl for a couple YEARS and yes, we've messed around before. Lately, we've been talking a bit more but today I just realized she's still involved with a guy I thought was old news. I don't want to be just friends with her, and honestly I don't feel like I can. Would it be wrong to outright say that?

 

INB4GFTOG

 

 

Forgot to add that.

 

How would I go about saying this..

 

How you explained it wasn't so bad. Just...change it to be grammatically correct:

 

"I have strong feelings for you, but you've hurt me alot in the past, and I'm not sure what to make of it. It's been years, but I still feel this way, and everytime I feel secure in my emotions, something pops up and I'm right back to the confusion I started in. Like for instance, just recently, [what'shisface] started coming up again. I thought you were done with that guy! He's not right for you. I know it. I can see it. I just don't understand why you can't. And I can't watch you go around and live the life you do with him. I'm sorry, but I just can't handle it. I want to be with you, and I can't sit back and watch you act this way with other guys. I want to be with you. And if you're aren't capable of giving me that, than I'm not comfortable being around you at all. The emotional strain is just too much. I'm sorry. This is just how I feel"

 

 

sound about right there, bro?

 

Sounds like a good monologue for a play.

 

Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

 

EDIT:

 

"Aren't we all just players on the stage of life?"

 

...it would definitely be better to refrain from saying anything like that to her >_>

[aquariusman]

I like "monthiversaries." I find them fun to acknowledge up until you hit the one year mark. Then they kind of lose their value for me.

 

I think they're cute too, but that's where the line should be drawn. It should be "Oh, look, we've been together for [# of months]!" "Has it really been that long?". Not "OMG WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 2 MONTH THAT'S SO LONG I THINK IT'S TIME FOR BABIES". Too many people over-exaggerate the significance of the monthiversary.

 

On the topic of anniversaries, I think a New Years anniversary is the best coincidence ever. It'd be such a good time to celebrate when everyone else is doing the same. I would have had that if the relationship lasted (New Years Eve fooling around in a hotel room is still a great way to start off a relationship).

[RpgGamer]

I like "monthiversaries." I find them fun to acknowledge up until you hit the one year mark. Then they kind of lose their value for me.

 

I think they're cute too, but that's where the line should be drawn. It should be "Oh, look, we've been together for [# of months]!" "Has it really been that long?". Not "OMG WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 2 MONTH THAT'S SO LONG I THINK IT'S TIME FOR BABIES". Too many people over-exaggerate the significance of the monthiversary.

 

On the topic of anniversaries, I think a New Years anniversary is the best coincidence ever. It'd be such a good time to celebrate when everyone else is doing the same. I would have had that if the relationship lasted (New Years Eve fooling around in a hotel room is still a great way to start off a relationship).

 

I had that. My anniversary was 1/1/08. Good times. "I want to start the new year off right, and I want to start off with just the right girl"

 

nice.

[Adam007]

Can we change the name of this thread to just "Relationship Advice"? Aside from being slightly sexist, every time I gloss over the title it reminds me: The number one way to ensure you won't get a girlfriend is with that mindset. No guy ever gets a girl because he is seeking to enter a relationship. In fact, the majority of girls will not admit this, but that is a turn-off to most of them. Most people don't want what they know they can easily have. So it's a bad idea to play the game with a "I want a girlfriend mentality." Whether or not you're conscious of it, most girls can tell when you think they're unattainable, and that mindset guarantees it.

[Wesley]

All I have to say is, NEVER GET INVOLVED WITH ANY GIRL THAT HAS A BOYFRIEND. No one wins, trust me. That is all.

[Omar]

Can we change the name of this thread to just "Relationship Advice"? Aside from being slightly sexist, every time I gloss over the title it reminds me: The number one way to ensure you won't get a girlfriend is with that mindset. No guy ever gets a girl because he is seeking to enter a relationship. In fact, the majority of girls will not admit this, but that is a turn-off to most of them. Most people don't want what they know they can easily have. So it's a bad idea to play the game with a "I want a girlfriend mentality." Whether or not you're conscious of it, most girls can tell when you think they're unattainable, and that mindset guarantees it.

The thread title reminds me of the first post (way before the thread was cut), signed by Nadril. It went something like "Yes, drop her off at my doorstep tomorrow".

Original thread title has to stay within the first post if we change it.