"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Sam]

Nice one, let's hope it turns into something more! :D

[Guest Rob]

--

[The_Gabe]

Were you one of those people who said "i love you" after a single date?

 

I said 'i love you' after the first week, before our first real date, while still attending high school after only knowing him for a month. We're still together 7 years. Sometimes, things are just that simple.

 

Did you go to college?

 

...what's that got to do with anything? Yes, we both went to college. He graduated PTI while I attend Pitt-Greensburg. We see eachother every weekend.

 

Did the fact that you were together cause you to choose colleges near by that you would not have originally considered?

[Kimberly]

Did the fact that you were together cause you to choose colleges near by that you would not have originally considered?

 

Where we went to school had absolutely nothing to do with our relationship. We met freshman year in highschool, way before college was even in our minds. And in the end, we chose colleges that were the best for us both not because we wanted to, but because it was necessary. His was in the opposite direction of mine by about 2 hrs.

 

What exactly are you trying to prove here Gabe?

[Dupin]

Did the fact that you were together cause you to choose colleges near by that you would not have originally considered?

 

Where we went to school had absolutely nothing to do with our relationship. We met freshman year in highschool, way before college was even in our minds. And in the end, we chose colleges that were the best for us both not because we wanted to, but because it was necessary. His was in the opposite direction of mine by about 2 hrs.

 

What exactly are you trying to prove here Gabe?

High school relations cause problems and bad decisions for young people who think they know "love". You are wrong to love this guy. All relationships are, in the end, evil traps which interfere with your life. No relationship could ever grow from the fabled "young love" into an actual, realistic marriage between mature adults.

 

You have no right to post your relationship in this thread and should stop polluting the young minds of the TIF community with ideas supporting committed relationships. Please stop being so negative about his cynicism.

 

I think that covered everything ;)

[Kimberly]

Did the fact that you were together cause you to choose colleges near by that you would not have originally considered?

 

Where we went to school had absolutely nothing to do with our relationship. We met freshman year in highschool, way before college was even in our minds. And in the end, we chose colleges that were the best for us both not because we wanted to, but because it was necessary. His was in the opposite direction of mine by about 2 hrs.

 

What exactly are you trying to prove here Gabe?

High school relations cause problems and bad decisions for young people who think they know "love". You are wrong to love this guy. All relationships are, in the end, evil traps which interfere with your life. No relationship could ever grow from the fabled "young love" into an actual, realistic marriage between mature adults.

 

You have no right to post your relationship in this thread and should stop polluting the young minds of the TIF community with ideas supporting committed relationships. Please stop being so negative about his cynicism.

 

I think that covered everything ;)

 

 

Silly me! I've seen the error1355 of my ways.

[The_Gabe]

Did the fact that you were together cause you to choose colleges near by that you would not have originally considered?

 

Where we went to school had absolutely nothing to do with our relationship. We met freshman year in highschool, way before college was even in our minds. And in the end, we chose colleges that were the best for us both not because we wanted to, but because it was necessary. His was in the opposite direction of mine by about 2 hrs.

 

What exactly are you trying to prove here Gabe?

 

I am merely trying to establish a background and to see whether or not a relationship effected your decisions about the future. You maybe be one of the lucky few who in the end in actually works out, but in reality, most of the time it's just big talk and being blinded by lust which consumes the young mind into pondering about elements you're not even going to apprehend yet.

[Lenticular_J]

If nobody made any mistakes, we'd have a lot less good stories. Let love happen. As long as it's real for you.

[muggiwhplar]

Did the fact that you were together cause you to choose colleges near by that you would not have originally considered?

 

Where we went to school had absolutely nothing to do with our relationship. We met freshman year in highschool, way before college was even in our minds. And in the end, we chose colleges that were the best for us both not because we wanted to, but because it was necessary. His was in the opposite direction of mine by about 2 hrs.

 

What exactly are you trying to prove here Gabe?

 

I am merely trying to establish a background and to see whether or not a relationship effected your decisions about the future. You maybe be one of the lucky few who in the end in actually works out, but in reality, most of the time it's just big talk and being blinded by lust which consumes the young mind into pondering about elements you're not even going to apprehend yet.

 

My best friend and his girlfriend met in high school, went to far away separate colleges, graduated a couple of years ago, and are still dating. They're getting married as soon as he can afford the ring.

 

Love is "just hormones" regardless of your age and prior experiences, btw.

[The_Gabe]

Did the fact that you were together cause you to choose colleges near by that you would not have originally considered?

 

Where we went to school had absolutely nothing to do with our relationship. We met freshman year in highschool, way before college was even in our minds. And in the end, we chose colleges that were the best for us both not because we wanted to, but because it was necessary. His was in the opposite direction of mine by about 2 hrs.

 

What exactly are you trying to prove here Gabe?

 

I am merely trying to establish a background and to see whether or not a relationship effected your decisions about the future. You maybe be one of the lucky few who in the end in actually works out, but in reality, most of the time it's just big talk and being blinded by lust which consumes the young mind into pondering about elements you're not even going to apprehend yet.

 

My best friend and his girlfriend met in high school, went to far away separate colleges, graduated a couple of years ago, and are still dating. They're getting married as soon as he can afford the ring.

 

Love is "just hormones" regardless of your age and prior experiences, btw.

 

I did say there were exceptions.

 

However I disagree with your second statement. In my eyes, love is the compassion and knowledge that you will want to spend the rest of your life with that person, through the good or bad. It is very rare to be able to tell at such a young age whether or not you can do it, but there are exceptional people who can. Kudos to those people.

[muggiwhplar]

Did the fact that you were together cause you to choose colleges near by that you would not have originally considered?

 

Where we went to school had absolutely nothing to do with our relationship. We met freshman year in highschool, way before college was even in our minds. And in the end, we chose colleges that were the best for us both not because we wanted to, but because it was necessary. His was in the opposite direction of mine by about 2 hrs.

 

What exactly are you trying to prove here Gabe?

 

I am merely trying to establish a background and to see whether or not a relationship effected your decisions about the future. You maybe be one of the lucky few who in the end in actually works out, but in reality, most of the time it's just big talk and being blinded by lust which consumes the young mind into pondering about elements you're not even going to apprehend yet.

 

My best friend and his girlfriend met in high school, went to far away separate colleges, graduated a couple of years ago, and are still dating. They're getting married as soon as he can afford the ring.

 

Love is "just hormones" regardless of your age and prior experiences, btw.

 

I did say there were exceptions.

 

However I disagree with your second statement. In my eyes, love is the compassion and knowledge that you will want to spend the rest of your life with that person, through the good or bad. It is very rare to be able to tell at such a young age whether or not you can do it, but there are exceptional people who can. Kudos to those people.

 

To be unfortunately realistic, I have little-to-no faith in marriage or long-term monogamous relationships in our current day and age. Here's why (and if you plan on getting married one day, or spending the rest of your life with that special someone, I admonish you to think carefully before reading the rest of my post; it will be like being shown that God doesn't exist):

 

[spoiler=The truth about relationships]

To start off, consider the following:

 

Human beings were never designed to get married. From an evolutionary standpoint, a man's goal is to have sex with as many women as possible, as frequently as possible, to ensure that his genes are passed on. There is nothing inside a man's body or mind that encourages monogamy.

 

Women, on the other hand, are designed for monogamy-- but not for the rest of their lives. They just need to be able to keep their man around long enough for their child(ren) to be raised. Similarly, after a while, women get BORED of being with the same guy. The more time they spend with the man, the sooner they reach the point of boredom. If they only see their boyfriend once a week, she can remain interested in him for several years. If she lives with him, she'll lose interest much faster.

 

Hormone productions decline over time; infatuation wears off. How many of you guys have been in a long-term relationship (3+ years) and still felt the exact same way about your partner as you did from the moment you started dating?

 

I remember even asking my dad (who has been happily married to my mom for 43 years now) if he felt the same about my mom right now, compared to when he first met her. The short answer is no, lol. He still loves her and thinks about her a lot and cares for her and all that-- but it's a different kind of love. There are two types of love: passionate love and compassionate love. Past a certain point, the hormones wear off and the passionate sexual emotions die. Relationships stop being both passionate and compassionate; they instead become only compassionate.

 

Now, compassionate relationships are fine... except for the fact that men tend to get the short end of the stick because the woman's sex drive diminishes as she grows older, while the man's sex drive remains fairly constant through his whole life. This leads to frustration among men who want to have sex, but can't because their partner isn't in the mood.

 

Now, think of our current day and age-- everything's evolving except for our biology. You've still got a 200,000-year-old body. The times are changing very rapidly. Nowadays it's acceptable to go out and have one-night-stands with that stranger you met at the bar and can't remember their name. In contrast, it is unacceptable to have sex with other people if you're in a relationship. Similarly, it is unacceptable for a man to demand sex from his girlfriend/wife if she doesn't want it. But back before the feminist revolution, a man could be married to his wife and have sex with her whenever he wanted to satisfy his needs. Women were much more submissive back then and had sex regardless of how they felt at the time. Society didn't discourage those types of roles. During the feminist revolution, women stopped wanting to be "owned" by their men. Swinger couples emerged; men and women had sex outside of their relationships to fulfill their needs. We live in a time where men basically have the worst of both worlds because if they promise monogamy, then their sex drive is going to be inhibited, compared to if they were able to see other women.

 

So, what exactly am I trying to say? I'm not necessarily saying that marriage or long-term monogamy will ruin your life. Rather, I think it's obsolete and unnecessary. Name something that you can only do if you're married, but you can't do otherwise. I can't think of anything.

 

Personally, I'm still interested in a long-term relationship with a girl. Monogamous? Perhaps... it's just that now I'll be prepared for three years down the road if things start to go south.

 

I've still got a ton of thoughts and statistics related to this subject, but hopefully I've construed my main points, and that you guys will understand and consider them. Now back to studying for finals...

 

 

[tripsis]

Did the fact that you were together cause you to choose colleges near by that you would not have originally considered?

 

Where we went to school had absolutely nothing to do with our relationship. We met freshman year in highschool, way before college was even in our minds. And in the end, we chose colleges that were the best for us both not because we wanted to, but because it was necessary. His was in the opposite direction of mine by about 2 hrs.

 

What exactly are you trying to prove here Gabe?

 

I am merely trying to establish a background and to see whether or not a relationship effected your decisions about the future. You maybe be one of the lucky few who in the end in actually works out, but in reality, most of the time it's just big talk and being blinded by lust which consumes the young mind into pondering about elements you're not even going to apprehend yet.

 

My best friend and his girlfriend met in high school, went to far away separate colleges, graduated a couple of years ago, and are still dating. They're getting married as soon as he can afford the ring.

 

Love is "just hormones" regardless of your age and prior experiences, btw.

 

I did say there were exceptions.

 

However I disagree with your second statement. In my eyes, love is the compassion and knowledge that you will want to spend the rest of your life with that person, through the good or bad. It is very rare to be able to tell at such a young age whether or not you can do it, but there are exceptional people who can. Kudos to those people.

Yeah lust may be just hormones, but love is not. Love is being able to see, accept and respect someone for who they truly are. To appreciate the great things about someone as well as their flaws. etc. etc. Love is about knowing someone and the things you share with them, not the way your body is attracted to someone (which would be lust, and thus hormones).

[muggiwhplar]

Did the fact that you were together cause you to choose colleges near by that you would not have originally considered?

 

Where we went to school had absolutely nothing to do with our relationship. We met freshman year in highschool, way before college was even in our minds. And in the end, we chose colleges that were the best for us both not because we wanted to, but because it was necessary. His was in the opposite direction of mine by about 2 hrs.

 

What exactly are you trying to prove here Gabe?

 

I am merely trying to establish a background and to see whether or not a relationship effected your decisions about the future. You maybe be one of the lucky few who in the end in actually works out, but in reality, most of the time it's just big talk and being blinded by lust which consumes the young mind into pondering about elements you're not even going to apprehend yet.

 

My best friend and his girlfriend met in high school, went to far away separate colleges, graduated a couple of years ago, and are still dating. They're getting married as soon as he can afford the ring.

 

Love is "just hormones" regardless of your age and prior experiences, btw.

 

I did say there were exceptions.

 

However I disagree with your second statement. In my eyes, love is the compassion and knowledge that you will want to spend the rest of your life with that person, through the good or bad. It is very rare to be able to tell at such a young age whether or not you can do it, but there are exceptional people who can. Kudos to those people.

Yeah lust may be just hormones, but love is not. Love is being able to see, accept and respect someone for who they truly are. To appreciate the great things about someone as well as their flaws. etc. etc. Love is about knowing someone and the things you share with them, not the way your body is attracted to someone (which would be lust, and thus hormones).

 

You're referring to what is known as "compassionate love," and it is also hormones; it's just that they increase over time, as opposed to the "passionate love" hormones which die out after about 2 years.

[The_Gabe]

Did the fact that you were together cause you to choose colleges near by that you would not have originally considered?

 

Where we went to school had absolutely nothing to do with our relationship. We met freshman year in highschool, way before college was even in our minds. And in the end, we chose colleges that were the best for us both not because we wanted to, but because it was necessary. His was in the opposite direction of mine by about 2 hrs.

 

What exactly are you trying to prove here Gabe?

 

I am merely trying to establish a background and to see whether or not a relationship effected your decisions about the future. You maybe be one of the lucky few who in the end in actually works out, but in reality, most of the time it's just big talk and being blinded by lust which consumes the young mind into pondering about elements you're not even going to apprehend yet.

 

My best friend and his girlfriend met in high school, went to far away separate colleges, graduated a couple of years ago, and are still dating. They're getting married as soon as he can afford the ring.

 

Love is "just hormones" regardless of your age and prior experiences, btw.

 

I did say there were exceptions.

 

However I disagree with your second statement. In my eyes, love is the compassion and knowledge that you will want to spend the rest of your life with that person, through the good or bad. It is very rare to be able to tell at such a young age whether or not you can do it, but there are exceptional people who can. Kudos to those people.

Yeah lust may be just hormones, but love is not. Love is being able to see, accept and respect someone for who they truly are. To appreciate the great things about someone as well as their flaws. etc. etc. Love is about knowing someone and the things you share with them, not the way your body is attracted to someone (which would be lust, and thus hormones).

 

You're referring to what is known as "compassionate love," and it is also hormones; it's just that they increase over time, as opposed to the "passionate love" hormones which die out after about 2 years.

 

That's why my wife and I will be swingers. Keeping the spark alive for as long as we can.

[obfuscator]

Did the fact that you were together cause you to choose colleges near by that you would not have originally considered?

 

Where we went to school had absolutely nothing to do with our relationship. We met freshman year in highschool, way before college was even in our minds. And in the end, we chose colleges that were the best for us both not because we wanted to, but because it was necessary. His was in the opposite direction of mine by about 2 hrs.

 

What exactly are you trying to prove here Gabe?

 

I am merely trying to establish a background and to see whether or not a relationship effected your decisions about the future. You maybe be one of the lucky few who in the end in actually works out, but in reality, most of the time it's just big talk and being blinded by lust which consumes the young mind into pondering about elements you're not even going to apprehend yet.

 

My best friend and his girlfriend met in high school, went to far away separate colleges, graduated a couple of years ago, and are still dating. They're getting married as soon as he can afford the ring.

 

Love is "just hormones" regardless of your age and prior experiences, btw.

 

I did say there were exceptions.

 

However I disagree with your second statement. In my eyes, love is the compassion and knowledge that you will want to spend the rest of your life with that person, through the good or bad. It is very rare to be able to tell at such a young age whether or not you can do it, but there are exceptional people who can. Kudos to those people.

Yeah lust may be just hormones, but love is not. Love is being able to see, accept and respect someone for who they truly are. To appreciate the great things about someone as well as their flaws. etc. etc. Love is about knowing someone and the things you share with them, not the way your body is attracted to someone (which would be lust, and thus hormones).

 

You're referring to what is known as "compassionate love," and it is also hormones; it's just that they increase over time, as opposed to the "passionate love" hormones which die out after about 2 years.

 

Lol this garbage again. Try being in a long term relationship and tell me that love can be simplified to "just hormones".

[Furah]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxytocin

 

There you go.

[obfuscator]

Ahh yes, so that explains why millions of couples stay together for 70 years and are still in love, right?

[Lenticular_J]

A rose by any other name. Some folks feel the need to try and qualify others' feelings and actions. Why? I don't know. When they disagree with someone's feelings, they try and kill said buzz.

 

I suggest we get off the topic. Who needs actual advice?

[Lenticular_J]

A rose by any other name. Some folks feel the need to try and qualify others' feelings and actions. Why? I don't know. When they disagree with someone's feelings, they try and kill said buzz.

 

I suggest we get off the topic. Who needs actual advice?

[muggiwhplar]

Ahh yes, so that explains why millions of couples stay together for 70 years and are still in love, right?

 

They love each other, but they are no longer "in love" with each other. There is a big difference.

[obfuscator]

Ahh yes, so that explains why millions of couples stay together for 70 years and are still in love, right?

 

They love each other, but they are no longer "in love" with each other. There is a big difference.

I'm glad you think you have the authority to decide when people are and aren't in love.

[muggiwhplar]

Ahh yes, so that explains why millions of couples stay together for 70 years and are still in love, right?

 

They love each other, but they are no longer "in love" with each other. There is a big difference.

I'm glad you think you have the authority to decide when people are and aren't in love.

 

Are you implying that love cannot be reduced to a mere biological mechanism?

[obfuscator]

Absolutely.

 

Infatuation, sure...sexual attraction, sure. Love is far more complicated than that.

[muggiwhplar]

Absolutely.

 

Infatuation, sure...sexual attraction, sure. Love is far more complicated than that.

 

If it isn't biology then what is it?

[obfuscator]

Absolutely.

 

Infatuation, sure...sexual attraction, sure. Love is far more complicated than that.

 

If it isn't biology then what is it?

Love is emotions, feelings (biological and otherwise), and conscious decisions.