"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Surprise]

Probably better asked elsewhere but how do you try and get somebody to have more self confidence?

[RpgGamer]

I think I'm in love.

 

This could get interesting.

 

Still, tread carefully. Be polite, be efficient, and have a plan to f**k every girl you meet.

 

 

Lol. I'm not entirely sure if you're kidding or not. But I've never felt so vulnerable and secure at the same time.

 

 

Probably better asked elsewhere but how do you try and get somebody to have more self confidence?

 

The answer this requires will be a long post with lots of thought put into it. In short, it's a change of mental state. If you feel good about yourself, you'll carry yourself better. Rid yourself of worries and fears. Think of yourself as the [cabbage]. Value yourself. Stand up for yourself. Have integrity. Be proud of who you are. The more you accomplish, the more proud you can be. Alot of people get this satisfaction by dressing their best and working out. Whatever it takes to make you feel like you're worth something. Mostly to get confidence, you just have to change your outlook on a few key components of the way your life is run. While this isn't my forte', Lent and Iamdan will surely be able to post some good points on the subject.

[Orpheus]

Yeah, I was quoting TF2 on the last part of that post :P

 

But yeah, self confidence is mainly your mental state. The way RPG described it though, there is a very thin line between being self-confident and being a pompous ass.

[Harakiri]

I love my girlfriend. I mean seriously, I've never felt this way about anyone. The problem is she's always busy and we've dated for a month and the only time we've actually talked or anything outside of school, I.E went on a date, is when I went to her house and we hung out. I keep asking if she wants to go do stuff but she's just really busy and that's the problem I'm having. Despite the fact we love each other, we really haven't been able to establish much because we really don't go out and do anything. I mean, I haven't even been able to give her her Christmas present yet, which is mostly because I had Bronchitis all last week, but I'm still wondering how we can go out and do anything when something always gets in the way.

 

It's hard on me because I really want to spend time with her outside of school.

 

I don't know how normal this is because I really rarely date. But I just don't know how to work the problem out.

[Grogthurk]

Self-confidence is something requires work. It isn't something you just attain and then retain. You constantly have to make yourself feel better.

 

When it comes to confidence and talking to women, I usually tell people to just sack up. If she doesn't like you, she doesn't like you. If she likes you, she likes you. Be yourself. Be confident in who you are. If you're a bit shy, that's okay. As long as you can sack up and talk to the woman.

 

When I say "be confident in who you are" I mean just that. That should be easy to do. Follow my checklist:

 

1.) Do I know my name?

2.) Do I know where I came from?

3.) Do I know what I am doing with my life?

4.) Do I know who my family is?

5.) Do I know who my friends are?

6.) Do I know what my morals are?

7.) Do I know what interests me?

8.) Do I know how to listen?

 

If can answer the first 7, you're golden for talking to women. Number 8 is critical, but, sometimes the ladies like to listen.

 

 

Edit:

 

Ratchet,

 

If you truly mean something to her, she will make time for you. Let her ask you to hang out. Don't ask her. If she is busy and you're asking her to hang out, it will stress her out and you will get sidelined. Patience is key, she will come to you.

[Surprise]

To expand upon what I asked, thanks the advice is useful. However (sorry I wasn't specific originally) how do you boost a girls self confidence? My girlfriends self confidence is rock bottom and it is a tad worrying because nothing seems to help it or improve it...

[Grogthurk]

Support her. Listen to what she has to say when she's down. Let her prompt you for a response. (unless it is something you really feel you need to chime in on). My fiancée can have that same problem. Support her, tell her she's great and such, but don't overdo it. It's hard to say, but be supportive of her and be positive for her.

[aquariusman]

Probably better asked elsewhere but how do you try and get somebody to have more self confidence?

 

Convince her to do really fun things. Go tree climbing, go rock climbing, go sky diving, go skinny dipping (Bonus for you too :thumbup:), tell her how beautiful she is, buy her nice things, say how amazing she is. Make her feel good, make her do adventurous things, make her have fun. Also, recruit her friends to help you out with that. But when you do talk to them about it, make sure you choose your words carefully, so that you sound like you want to help her rather than you want to help yourself (It might be easy to say the wrong things).

[Omar]

6.) Do I know what my morals are?

 

Emphasis on this. When faced with a tough choice, it's always easier to know you're doing the right thing if you don't have to think about what the right thing is on the spot.

[Surprise]

Probably better asked elsewhere but how do you try and get somebody to have more self confidence?

 

Convince her to do really fun things. Go tree climbing, go rock climbing, go sky diving, go skinny dipping (Bonus for you too :thumbup:), tell her how beautiful she is, buy her nice things, say how amazing she is. Make her feel good, make her do adventurous things, make her have fun. Also, recruit her friends to help you out with that. But when you do talk to them about it, make sure you choose your words carefully, so that you sound like you want to help her rather than you want to help yourself (It might be easy to say the wrong things).

 

Tried and still doing all in italics, she just doesn't seem to want to listen. Which is strange saying she is the least stubborn person I know of.

[Grogthurk]

I'm going to clarify why my list works like that. The questions become increasingly...difficult? or at least more thoughtful to answer. It is meant to help you get your bearings.

[Saru Inc]

there be homosexual relations in this post:

 

 

)) so me and my friend went to Ruby Tuesdays today.

 

And

 

We sat down, and i am looking at my menu (but I already know what I want) and this foot nudged mine kinda abruptly: "anything to drink?" I look up. Dear God. Mad hot dude looking anxious as hell. My friend said water. I said "Mr. Pibb." He looks back at me and *cutely* stutters some inane fact about it. You could tell he was trying to start a conversation. I didn't really know what to say, being nervous as hell so I just said "yep." and he kinda walked off. My friend goes "awww, he was really into you." and I was like "really? I couldn't tell." But he comes back and asks what we want, and he'll only talk to my friends, not really me. And she said "I want the chicken." HE started going all"ohyea thats so amazing etc. etc. its REALLY good." and then I say "hamburger" "k." He was afraid to talk to me, wouldn't say one thing, but kept on talking to my friend. But as soon as he thought I wasn't looking he would stare at me (I could tell from the reflection of a glass, and thats what my friend would say.) And he really did not make eye contact with me, it was just -- so obvious. Lol. And he's so hot. So, even though I'm not forward whatsoever, I left my # on the receipt in the tip pile, maybe he'll text. He also kept on getting *my* order wrong and would profusely apologize. And my friend was like "hes really really really into you" So cute...

 

 

Perhaps I'll get a text? Or he didn't realize my # was on the receipt and threw it out by accident.

 

---

 

 

 

I do not know what to do. I am so nervous right now.

[RpgGamer]

there be homosexual relations in this post:

 

 

)) so me and my friend went to Ruby Tuesdays today.

 

And

 

We sat down, and i am looking at my menu (but I already know what I want) and this foot nudged mine kinda abruptly: "anything to drink?" I look up. Dear God. Mad hot dude looking anxious as hell. My friend said water. I said "Mr. Pibb." He looks back at me and *cutely* stutters some inane fact about it. You could tell he was trying to start a conversation. I didn't really know what to say, being nervous as hell so I just said "yep." and he kinda walked off. My friend goes "awww, he was really into you." and I was like "really? I couldn't tell." But he comes back and asks what we want, and he'll only talk to my friends, not really me. And she said "I want the chicken." HE started going all"ohyea thats so amazing etc. etc. its REALLY good." and then I say "hamburger" "k." He was afraid to talk to me, wouldn't say one thing, but kept on talking to my friend. But as soon as he thought I wasn't looking he would stare at me (I could tell from the reflection of a glass, and thats what my friend would say.) And he really did not make eye contact with me, it was just -- so obvious. Lol. And he's so hot. So, even though I'm not forward whatsoever, I left my # on the receipt in the tip pile, maybe he'll text. He also kept on getting *my* order wrong and would profusely apologize. And my friend was like "hes really really really into you" So cute...

 

 

Perhaps I'll get a text? Or he didn't realize my # was on the receipt and threw it out by accident.

 

---

 

 

 

I do not know what to do. I am so nervous right now.

 

You wait. And you don't go crazy in the event you get that mystery text. Shoulda had a direct confrontation. Then you wouldn't be in this spot :P

 

Hind site is 20/20

 

You could always go back to the restaurant and request him as a server

[Saru Inc]

You have to understand... nvm. Like... Maybe. Even if he doesn't text back I'll be glad I chose to do it.

[Alakazam]

You have to understand... nvm. Like... Maybe. Even if he doesn't text back I'll be glad I chose to do it.

How can you understand a concept that means something differently to each individual. You cannot show someone or get them to understand love, they must discover it themselves.

[Saru Inc]

no, what i meant was why I was hesitant to approach the guy.

[Alakazam]

why fear rejection? You have nothing invested in the relationship to lose.

[Saru Inc]

Its not rejection, its complicated.

[RpgGamer]

Its not rejection, its complicated.

 

This topic is about the pursuit of love, we're not gonna judge you on who you chase after. Hell, there's been stranger posted on here. By myself included haha.

 

I take it your a shy guy, not quite ready to be open to the world, and you weren't ready to announce it to the restaurant for the sake of maybe getting cute dude's digits.

 

Nothing to be embarrassed about man. You got nothing to lose. Judging by the posts he might have been into you. I say you go back there and scout out for him, see if he stares at you the same way again. If yes, make a more direct move. if not, think nothing of it, and find someone else to flirt with.

[Saru Inc]

Its not rejection, its complicated.

 

This topic is about the pursuit of love, we're not gonna judge you on who you chase after. Hell, there's been stranger posted on here. By myself included haha.

 

I take it your a shy guy, not quite ready to be open to the world, and you weren't ready to announce it to the restaurant for the sake of maybe getting cute dude's digits.

 

Nothing to be embarrassed about man. You got nothing to lose. Judging by the posts he might have been into you. I say you go back there and scout out for him, see if he stares at you the same way again. If yes, make a more direct move. if not, think nothing of it, and find someone else to flirt with.

 

 

 

Lets just say, my past experiences with men, have not been pleasant. But it wasn't love oriented.

[Serpent Eye]

You know, I've kind of been in the same situation before.

 

As RpgGamer suggests, stalking may prove to be effective.

[Saru Inc]

but im all out of roofies

[Serpent Eye]

but im all out of roofies

Well, that escalated quickly.

 

If you ever go out again to eat, you should go back to the same restaurant, find out what his name is, etc. etc.

 

I stalked got to know someone at my high school this way, it worked out very well. Probably would have worked out better if I had roofies though.

[Adam007]

but im all out of roofies

TRY USING HYPNOSIS.

 

WORKS FOR ME.

[Saru Inc]

oh I know his name, it was on the receipt LOL. And I purposefully gave him my card so he would know my name. But lol I may go back next sunday, except I don't really like the food there! rofl.