"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Estonian dude]

Only one thing to keep in mind while exercising.

NO ICE-COLD DRINKS DURING OR IMMEDIATELY AFTER EXERCISE.

 

I suppose you know why.

 

And I think I might be a weirdo, since I don't have a set routine, but when I do exercise even a bit on my own, I do it right before going to bed. I don't know why, but it helps me get better sleep.

[Ginger_Warrior]

I've got huge respect for Michael Sam's decision to come out so soon when he had plenty on the line for doing so. If he finds himself accepted in an NFL locker room for his on-field performances, I think that would be an incredible testament to how far society has adapted to a more accepting approach to homosexuality. A gay player being accepted (at least by most players; inevitably not all players will) in one of the most physical popular sports on the planet is a very notable milestone, and might challenge our perceptions about masculinity in relation to sexuality.

 

Just thought I'd share that opinion on here since it seems to be the most appropriate thread for it.

[Low Levelled]

I GO TO THE UNIVERSITY OF MISSOURI AND I AM INCREDIBLY PROUD OF MIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!

[muggiwhplar]

Lol I graduated from KU. Guess we can't be friends :P

[Low Levelled]

That border war though

[Major Dash]

I've got huge respect for Michael Sam's decision to come out so soon when he had plenty on the line for doing so. If he finds himself accepted in an NFL locker room for his on-field performances, I think that would be an incredible testament to how far society has adapted to a more accepting approach to homosexuality. A gay player being accepted (at least by most players; inevitably not all players will) in one of the most physical popular sports on the planet is a very notable milestone, and might challenge our perceptions about masculinity in relation to sexuality.

 

Just thought I'd share that opinion on here since it seems to be the most appropriate thread for it.

 

 

How is this an "accomplishment"? Lots of people say they are gay every day. He's just another person, just like everybody else.... And what does it have to do with this topic in general?

[Low Levelled]

 

 

I've got huge respect for Michael Sam's decision to come out so soon when he had plenty on the line for doing so. If he finds himself accepted in an NFL locker room for his on-field performances, I think that would be an incredible testament to how far society has adapted to a more accepting approach to homosexuality. A gay player being accepted (at least by most players; inevitably not all players will) in one of the most physical popular sports on the planet is a very notable milestone, and might challenge our perceptions about masculinity in relation to sexuality.

 

Just thought I'd share that opinion on here since it seems to be the most appropriate thread for it.

 

How is this an "accomplishment"? Lots of people say they are gay every day. He's just another person, just like everybody else.... And what does it have to do with this topic in general?

Empathy.. try it sometime.

[Ginger_Warrior]

 

I've got huge respect for Michael Sam's decision to come out so soon when he had plenty on the line for doing so. If he finds himself accepted in an NFL locker room for his on-field performances, I think that would be an incredible testament to how far society has adapted to a more accepting approach to homosexuality. A gay player being accepted (at least by most players; inevitably not all players will) in one of the most physical popular sports on the planet is a very notable milestone, and might challenge our perceptions about masculinity in relation to sexuality.

 

Just thought I'd share that opinion on here since it seems to be the most appropriate thread for it.

 

 

How is this an "accomplishment"? Lots of people say they are gay every day. He's just another person, just like everybody else.... And what does it have to do with this topic in general?

 

It's a thread about relationships. I fail to see how the topic of "coming out" is irrelevant to the topic at hand. Furthermore, I don't remember using the word "accomplishment"; that word would be inappropriate in context. The word I used was testament, and I stand by it.

 

I remember going through high school ten years ago where it was still perfectly acceptable to mock someone for being camp, let alone actually being gay. If you knocked around with the guys who received that kind of abuse, you were asking to receive it yourself. Those of us who are old enough to remember what it was like even as recently as the turn of the century, and those of us who follow sport, would never have believed an environment as harsh and as caustic as an NFL or a rugby locker room would become as accepting towards homosexuality as it has done. In the meantime, there's been high profile players in both codes of rugby come out, and now American Football too. If you're using it as a yardstick for society's attitudes towards homosexuality, it demonstrates incredibly rapid progress.

 

Ideally, you're right. It shouldn't be an issue. It should be something where people can say it and people don't think it's funny, or strange, or remarkable. But unfortunately we do still live in a time where gay people, especially those in public limelight, are reticent to talk openly about sexuality through fear of a backlash. Is Michael Sam the only gay NFL player? Is Gareth Thomas the only gay rugby union player?

 

Extremely, extremely unlikely.

 

Until the day comes where that that doesn't happen, though, stories like these remain remarkable.

[Hedgehog]

The thing is, there are dozens of other gay players in the NFL, and many of their teammates know that they're gay, but they don't want to come out because it puts them ahead of their team.

[Maxingmck]

The thing is, there are dozens of other gay players in the NFL, and many of their teammates know that they're gay, but they don't want to come out because it puts them ahead of their team.

He doesnt have a team

[Low Levelled]

The thing is, there are dozens of other gay players in the NFL, and many of their teammates know that they're gay, but they don't want to come out because it puts them ahead of their team.

I doubt the reason they don't come out is singularly because they don't want to be the center of attention.

[obfuscator]

 

The thing is, there are dozens of other gay players in the NFL, and many of their teammates know that they're gay, but they don't want to come out because it puts them ahead of their team.

He doesnt have a team

 

Yes he does, he plays for the "other" team.

[Hedgehog]

The NFL functions on players being evaluated solely on their talents. When a player chooses to do something to disrupt this, whether it's by being choosing to be the first openly gay active NFL player, changing their last name to ochocinco, or being like Tim Tebow, they do a disservice to themselves, their team, or both. It isn't fair for someone to be judged, positively or negatively, on things that don't have any bearing on their performance on the field. This is the main reason why all openly gay players, up until recently, have only come out after their retirement. It wasn't because the NFL was homophobic or uncomfortable with gay players.

[Ginger_Warrior]

Surely, a culture in which people are judged only for their on-field performance would be more conducive towards allowing homosexual players to talk openly about their personal lives, not less. If taboo really doesn't exist at all and players are only judged by objective statistics and big plays, why would coming out be such a barrier that they would only come out after their playing time was over? It's a nonsense to suggest that sport traditionally hasn't been uncomfortable with the concept of homosexuality sitting alongside masculinity. Stark reality hints at the total opposite; players, quite routinely, are not judged by performance alone.

 

And it's not like the NFL has a track record of locker room bullying. Not at all.

 

Furthermore, my understanding is he came out to his college team during an ice-breaker style "Tell us something interesting we don't already know about you" exercise (although it was largely suspected already since he was quite ordinarily seen with his boyfriend around campus). In other words, an exercise where everyone trades turns taking center stage. It's incredibly harsh to accuse him of using his homosexuality as a way of "putting himself ahead of his team", as you put it, when he revealed it in that context.

[muggiwhplar]

This discussion is a good example of what happens when rationality and reality conflict >_>

[RpgGamer]

[muggiwhplar]

 

Goooood..... Goooooooood......... (Emperor Palpatine voice)

[Giordano]

OKC = OkCupid?

 

Man I try to explain half the stuff you suggest here Muggi but I get shot down. Either they're somewhat doing it and are in denial or their think their 'perfect girl' will never dump him.

[muggiwhplar]

Yeah OKC = OKCupid

 

The difference between you guys and my friends IRL is, my friends IRL get to witness the stuff I just talk about on here, so there's less doubt and skepticism in their minds. They see me messaging different girls on my phone while we're out and stuff. Or they ask me what I've been up to lately and I tell them.

 

I don't like to be the first person to bring these things up with them. I'd rather wait for them to confide in me about their relationship/dating/sex problems before I start putting these kinds of ideas in their minds.

[Maze]

There's a girl at work I really want to ask out. She's cute and I think she might like me. She generally acts kind of nervous around me, and sometimes she'll mimic me. Like, when we don't have any customers, I'll tap on the counter and she'll do the same. She waves at me when I walk in. If I just glance over at her, she'll stop and try to stammer out what she's doing. I notice she looks over at me a lot.

 

Only problem is I have no way of contacting her outside of work (unless I add her on Facebook or something but we all know I'm not going to do that out of the blue). I accidentally figured out that she's working on Saturday. I'll be off, but I'll be running some errands that day and I want to pick up my paycheck (I work at a grocery store).

 

This is probably a horrible plan, and feel free to call me out on it, but it's all I've got:

I'm going to wait around the store aisles until her line is empty, and then I'm going to buy a box of chocolates (day after Valentine's, they'll be on sale which is a bonus) in her line. She'll bag it up, and when she hands it out to me, I'll just put my hands behind my back and not take it. She'll be a little confused but I'll just say, "It's yours."

 

I haven't figured out what to say after that. If you want to provide input on what to say, or if you just want me to scrap this idea altogether and find another one, feel free.

 

I'm kind of in a cranny here. I don't know what to do.

[muggiwhplar]

Don't do the chocolates thing :P

Next time you're talking to her (you DO talk to her, right?) just be like, "BTW you've got Facebook, right? Cool, I'll send you a friend request" then pull out your phone, add her, then arrange dating logistics through that at a later time if you want.

Don't make this more complicated than it needs to be-- if she really likes you, she'll make this very easy and simple for you.

I'm assuming you're both in high school and work at a grocery store or something? In other words, I imagine dating a coworker won't be too big of a deal in the long run. Otherwise you should probably just add her on Facebook and hang out with her once you're no longer coworkers

[Maze]

Wait, I've got an idea.

 

I'm going on Saturday to get my paycheck, right? She works at 1 I think, so what if I just happen to be looking at the schedule at 1 (which is right next to the clock-in machine) and then have her run into me, and then start a conversation that way?

[muggiwhplar]

You just can't let this happen "naturally," can you? :P

[Estonian dude]

An older geologist added me as a FB friend today. A dude.

After acceptance, first question: if a girl asked, are you single right now? It was basically immediately after I took the friend request.

I asked, who is asking and the dude replied that a tall, skinny girl with nice boobs. From the Norwegian class that I just joined and have been to just once.

 

Turns out I have been noticed.

Wow.

Holy [bleep]ing shit.

That was unexpected.

I am at a complete loss.

[Low Levelled]

Doesn't sound desperate at all