Today...

[RpgGamer]

My grandfather was left handed until the army gave him a right handed rifle

[I am the Maria]

 

I think you're describing a sterile, asexual dream world where sexual attraction is based purely off an objective rational assessment of someone's personality and intelligence. That's nice, I suppose, but it doesn't reflect reality.

 

Uhh, well it reflects my reality. I had to have my entire reproductive system cut out, along with four tumors, & basically went through menopause in my 20's.

 

It is kinda hard to like someone based solely on sexual attraction when I no longer have all that junk. So guess what my attraction is based off of? Personality and intelligence.

 

Edited out the expenooses.

[Tim]

Left handed and broke my wrist when I was 11 which destroyed my handwriting from then on.

[I am the Maria]

@Ring World

 

It is more about companionship...and a lot of imagination.

 

I just no longer have the ability to be sexually attracted to someone. That doesn't mean I can't like someone or think a guy is cute. It is just more like thoughts of skipping through a field of freaking daisies, holding hands with a dude than thoughts of banging.

 

Sometimes I wish I was allowed to have hrt so I could have the latter thoughts again. I mean, I still can, but I have to imagine what it was like before having a radical hysterectomy. Basically, everything has to be mental & emotional.

[RpgGamer]

Everybody's all "wooooo CODBLOP3" and I'm all "I thought that happened already" even if I was wrong, I don't see how it's any substantially different from the last call of duty. I might as well have been right. In any case, we're that much closers to knowing if DICE killed Battlefront or not

[Alg]

That... what was it, $50? season pass is really worrying, considering how stripped down the game looks compared to Battlefront 2 (and  the parts they cut out just happened to be the parts I liked).  I suppose we can at least hope that it's not just a Battlefield-type competitive shooter IN SPACE. I mean, it's a given that it'll be one, but that can't be all it is, right?

 

I dont understand (romantic) attraction that isn't also sexual :lol:. 

Your loss :twss:

[muggiwhplar]

I dont understand (romantic) attraction that isn't also sexual :lol:.

I think it's basically the same thing as friendship

[I am the Maria]

So you are affectionate towards your friends & make out with them? O ok.

[RpgGamer]

So you are affectionate towards your friends & make out with them? O ok.

I actually went through a pretty good chunk of time where yes, this was the norm for me and many of my friends *shrug*

[Sbrideau]

That... what was it, $50? 

The season pass if I'm not mistaken, was usually the same price as the game. Unless you're trying to play on the 360 or ps3 the game isn't stripped down at all.

 

I don't know about battlefront though, from the beta the game was extremely unbalanced, can't wait to see if they fixed it.

[Hedgehog]

So you are affectionate towards your friends & make out with them? O ok.

Depends on how drunk I am

[Estonian dude]

It is customary in some cultures to kiss even for friends.

[Major Dash]

I'm pretty sure that in "some cultures" friends don't just start making out.

[Estonian dude]

Ever been to Central Asia?

Customary for greetings and goodbyes, specially between male friends.

It is the same thing as with nudity.

The fact that it is frowned upon in the States doesn't mean it is this harsh everywhere.

In Japan, nude baths are commonplace. And I wouldn't call them an unsuccesful culture.

[Major Dash]

I think you are missing the difference between making out and kissing on the lips.

[I am the Maria]

ANYWAY...

 

A while back there was some ask a question/get an answer thread on rsof and I asked about an old problem, just to see if anyone wanted to try it. Here is the solution:

 

 

And dw. I no longer do this stuff. Haven't in years. I do occasionally go through my college stuff every once in a while, but if anyone likes to do these type of problems for fun, I have a ton of them. (Edit: Blacked out my last name incase anyone was wondering L)

[Tesset]

I hat ethis dorm it's so [bleep]ing cold I was shivering the entire time I typed this and it made it incredibly difficult to type ughhhh

 

 

I dont understand (romantic) attraction that isn't also sexual :lol:.

I think it's basically the same thing as friendship

 

Adaquately and accurately defining romantic attraction has been an incredibly difficult thing for the aromantic spectrum for a long time, because it's kind of ephemereal. Friendship is the same, though, really. Like, what is a friendship? It's going to look and feel completely different for different people. Yet, you personally can generally say when you're friends with someone vs. being an acquaintance. Same with romantic relationships: a person can usually tell when they're romantically attracted to someone, and that's what it takes to be so. For you two, part of that is a sexual attraction, and you won't feel romantic attraction without it, which is fine and fairly common, but definitely not universal.

 

Anyway, the best definition I've seen in the past few years of being in the aro spectrum is this:

Romantic attraction seems to be about feeling a connection or a potential for a connection to someone– and a willingness to be open and share intimate things with that person– but without having yet developed the basis for trust or stability that would normally support that intimacy. ( And where there is an existing meaningful relationship, it’s like potential to jump ahead or get into a different kind of intimacy without getting there the long, stable, rational way. ) It’s kind of like feeling or imagining a connection… but without the emotional work.

So if you're going out on a date with someone you met on Tindr, you are trying to get to know the person relatively intimately (over a series of dates, anyway) without having any sort of rapport to serve as a foundation on which to build that intimacy. Romantic attraction, then, is the desire to obtain that intimacy with another person. If the only reason you would want to seek that intimacy is if you want to have sex with the other person, then that's a necessary component to you feeling romantic attraction.

 

An alternate way to look at this definition is as a desire to get to know someone more emotionally intimately than they would a friend. Like, you have your best friends and closest friends and there's a level of emotional intimacy and sharing you have with them, and a romantic relationship would be a level beyond that. You want to have more of an emotional connection with the person, and you want to have more involvement and power to solve emotional issues with that other person than you would with a best friend. This makes a lot more sense for people who would only want to date friends/people they know than for those doing online dating or meeting people at bars, but it still applies to the latter group.

 

One thing this definition doesn't touch on is that romantic attraction generally implies/requires a level of commitment. If you enter a romantic relationship with someone, especially a serious one, you're usually saying you are going to be with this person for a long time and you're going to put in a lot of effort to make sure the relationship keeps going even when both internal and external pressures threaten to break it up. I.e., you'll move with your romantic partner/travel to visit them with some regularity if they move, whereas if you moved to another city solely because your friend did so, that would be kind of weird.

 

 

 

So, summary, romantic attraction without sexual attraction is all of the above things, but without wanting to bone them. It's a desire to get to know someone in a deeply emotionally intimate way without a necessary corresponding desire to want to have sex with them. And, again, for some people that doesn't make sense, as the only way they'll have that desire for someone is to want to have sex with them. Everyone feels all attractions (romantic, sexual, platonic, etc.) differently, and understanding that is key to understanding the different types of orientations.

[Solemn]

Got my adderall prescription back for the first time since I was 9. Life is pretty good.

[muggiwhplar]

I hat ethis dorm it's so [bleep]ing cold I was shivering the entire time I typed this and it made it incredibly difficult to type ughhhh

 

 

I dont understand (romantic) attraction that isn't also sexual :lol:.

I think it's basically the same thing as friendship

 

Adaquately and accurately defining romantic attraction has been an incredibly difficult thing for the aromantic spectrum for a long time, because it's kind of ephemereal. Friendship is the same, though, really. Like, what is a friendship? It's going to look and feel completely different for different people. Yet, you personally can generally say when you're friends with someone vs. being an acquaintance. Same with romantic relationships: a person can usually tell when they're romantically attracted to someone, and that's what it takes to be so. For you two, part of that is a sexual attraction, and you won't feel romantic attraction without it, which is fine and fairly common, but definitely not universal.

 

Anyway, the best definition I've seen in the past few years of being in the aro spectrum is this:

Romantic attraction seems to be about feeling a connection or a potential for a connection to someone– and a willingness to be open and share intimate things with that person– but without having yet developed the basis for trust or stability that would normally support that intimacy. ( And where there is an existing meaningful relationship, it’s like potential to jump ahead or get into a different kind of intimacy without getting there the long, stable, rational way. ) It’s kind of like feeling or imagining a connection… but without the emotional work.

So if you're going out on a date with someone you met on Tindr, you are trying to get to know the person relatively intimately (over a series of dates, anyway) without having any sort of rapport to serve as a foundation on which to build that intimacy. Romantic attraction, then, is the desire to obtain that intimacy with another person. If the only reason you would want to seek that intimacy is if you want to have sex with the other person, then that's a necessary component to you feeling romantic attraction.

 

An alternate way to look at this definition is as a desire to get to know someone more emotionally intimately than they would a friend. Like, you have your best friends and closest friends and there's a level of emotional intimacy and sharing you have with them, and a romantic relationship would be a level beyond that. You want to have more of an emotional connection with the person, and you want to have more involvement and power to solve emotional issues with that other person than you would with a best friend. This makes a lot more sense for people who would only want to date friends/people they know than for those doing online dating or meeting people at bars, but it still applies to the latter group.

 

One thing this definition doesn't touch on is that romantic attraction generally implies/requires a level of commitment. If you enter a romantic relationship with someone, especially a serious one, you're usually saying you are going to be with this person for a long time and you're going to put in a lot of effort to make sure the relationship keeps going even when both internal and external pressures threaten to break it up. I.e., you'll move with your romantic partner/travel to visit them with some regularity if they move, whereas if you moved to another city solely because your friend did so, that would be kind of weird.

 

 

 

So, summary, romantic attraction without sexual attraction is all of the above things, but without wanting to bone them. It's a desire to get to know someone in a deeply emotionally intimate way without a necessary corresponding desire to want to have sex with them. And, again, for some people that doesn't make sense, as the only way they'll have that desire for someone is to want to have sex with them. Everyone feels all attractions (romantic, sexual, platonic, etc.) differently, and understanding that is key to understanding the different types of orientations.

 

 

Yeah this doesn't make any sense to me lol. This all just sounds like either platonic friendship or sexual attraction

[Estonian dude]

Muggi tries to turn everything black or white, while there are 50 shades of gray inbetween.

[Alg]

Muggi tries to turn everything black or white, while there are 50 shades of gray inbetween.

Literally everything is shades of gray. That's honestly the best part.

 

The book Fifty Shades is not, however

[I am the Maria]

So much for trying to drop the topic...

 

But since we are back on it, my situation is basically like being pre-pubescent again...just in a more mature manner. Kids get crushes on each and have little bfs/gfs before puberty and obviously there is no sexual attraction involved. It is kinda similar to that, except with more emotional maturity...if that makes sense. 

[Arceus]

*Imagines 11 year olds on RuneScape screaming "looking for gf press 123" as more mature*

 

Err, not really. :P

[I am the Maria]

O.

 

Sometimes I forget I am even on the internet.

 

I was thinking of how kids were back in the 80's. However, pixelated marriages on RS do somewhat remind me of the marriages on the playground in 3rd grade...

[stevepole]

Everybody's all "wooooo CODBLOP3" and I'm all "I thought that happened already" even if I was wrong, I don't see how it's any substantially different from the last call of duty. I might as well have been right. In any case, we're that much closers to knowing if DICE killed Battlefront or not

 

The amount quality games being released/coming soon is too much for even myself to keep up with. For a game that's been in development for 3 years, BO3 is a quality game that offers a lot of content for the $$, if you're a big COD fan you'll definitely enjoy it. However, had I actually paid for my copy of BO3 or had to choice only 1 game to spend the money on this month I'm getting Battlefront.. because it's [bleep]ing Battlefront.