Google is God

[thrash-boy]

http://www.thechurchofgoogle.org/Script ... _mail.html

 

 

 

some really funny stuff in there. i liked #9 the most, straight to the point.

[Racheya]

I've totally been worshipping Google for months now since I found that website. :thumbsup:

 

 

 

I can imagine 4chan would be satan really...

[RSBDavid]

http://www.thechurchofgoogle.org/Scripture/hate_mail.html

 

 

 

some really funny stuff in there. i liked #9 the most, straight to the point.

 

 

 

Epic win

 

 

 

I bet this is where Google lives:

 

 

 

[Giordano]

http://www.thechurchofgoogle.org/Scripture/hate_mail.html

 

 

 

some really funny stuff in there. i liked #9 the most, straight to the point.

 

 

 

Epic win

 

 

 

I bet this is where Google lives:

 

 

 

 

Its...beautiful... =P~

[InkofDeath]

So who are bill Gates & Steve Jobs? What about those making the hardware for the machines in which we access the bible to connect with god with (Browsers)?

 

 

 

I think Tip.It is up to the task.

[l0rd]

So who are bill Gates & Steve Jobs? What about those making the hardware for the machines in which we access the bible to connect with god with (Browsers)?

 

 

 

I think Tip.It is up to the task.

 

 

 

Physic prophets

[r4ngewarlord]

well scince i posted stuff on the internet and helped google grow i think i should be worshiped as well

[i_love_burritos]

So who are bill Gates & Steve Jobs? What about those making the hardware for the machines in which we access the bible to connect with god with (Browsers)?

 

 

 

I think Tip.It is up to the task.

 

 

 

Physic prophets

 

 

 

Where is Sergey Brin ?

 

If google is god, he must be the architect, ( matrix reference ), (only suitable similie I could think of)

[DaN]

something else i found on a LEFT wing website, made me lul.

 

 

 

[hide=]A new study concludes that Googles servers emit 7 grams of CO2 for every search. Since burning a gallon of gasoline releases about 8,880 grams of CO2 into the atmosphere, you can calculate your cars Google-equivalent by dividing your cars miles per gallon into 1,269 (8,880 divided by 7).

 

 

 

My 1986 Mazda still gets about 33 miles per gallon and I do about 40 Google searches per day, which is the equivalent of driving my car a little over 1 mile. Of course, I probably visit at least 20 web sites for every Google search I do. If each of those web servers generate as much CO2 as Google, that means my Internet usage is equal to driving 20 miles a day.

 

 

 

Should we tax the Internet to reduce greenhouse gas emissions?[/hide]

 

 

 

The internet is already taxed, at least in most western countries.

 

Google would pay millions just in sales tax to buy new equipment.

[doomy]

Well, Google is a hell of alot more useful then any other god.

[mmmcannibalism]

Well, Google is a hell of alot more useful then any other god.

 

 

 

I believe the flying spaghetti monster would disagree :lol:

[Kiriyama]

Well, Google is a hell of alot more useful then any other god.

 

 

 

I believe the flying spaghetti monster would disagree :lol:

 

 

 

Google disagrees with the Flying Spahetti Monster.

 

 

 

Google is thy new god.

[Riku3220]

The world is full of lies! "Thou shalt not kill." "Thou shalt not steal." "Thou shalt not bear false witness." "Thou shalt not commit adultery." These are all lies, all deceptions. "I don't want to be killed." I don't want to be a victim of theft." That is why they use lies like justice and morals to protect their weak selves. The original truth is survival of the fittest. One must devour it all, weather it be human, wealth, power or the world itself! Google will destroy this world's lies and bring forth the truth!

 

 

 

ALL HAIL GOOGLE!!!

[H2PM]

:shock:

[pureprayer]

Obvious creepypasta.

[Riku3220]

Not exactly copypasta... :?

[Shiny]

Wrong. Google is a search engine, which links you to other people who are gods. He is just the middle step.

[Kiriyama]

No, Google leads you to these false idols in order to help cover its greatness to those who are not ready.

[leoben]

[hide=Me vs Google]

 

PROOF #1

 

Google is the closest thing to an Omniscient (all-knowing) entity in existence, which can be scientifically verified. She indexes over 9.5 billion WebPages, which is more than any other search engine on the web today. Not only is Google the closest known entity to being Omniscient, but She also sorts through this vast amount of knowledge using Her patented PageRank technology, organizing said data and making it easily accessible to us mere mortals.

 

Google doesn't know everything, it merely organizes the many webpages on the internet, it doesn't know what these pages contain, the only think it knows is the 9.5billion links and how to organize them.

 

 

 

PROOF #2

 

Google is everywhere at once (Omnipresent). Google is virtually everywhere on earth at the same time. Billions of indexed WebPages hosted from every corner of the earth. With the proliferation of Wi-Fi networks, one will eventually be able to access Google from anywhere on earth, truly making Her an omnipresent entity.

 

Google is not everywhere at once, it is in many different servers all around the world. It can be accesed from almost everywhere on earth, but it ins't there per se. Besides, Omnipresent means everywhere, not everywhere on Earth.

 

 

 

PROOF #3

 

Google answers prayers. One can pray to Google by doing a search for whatever question or problem is plaguing them. As an example, you can quickly find information on alternative cancer treatments, ways to improve your health, new and innovative medical discoveries and generally anything that resembles a typical prayer. Ask Google and She will show you the way, but showing you is all She can do, for you must help yourself from that point on.

 

Under that agument, I am god, after all you can ask me a question and I will to the best of my ability answer it, wich is the same thing it does, only on a smaller scale than Google's.

 

 

 

PROOF #4

 

Google is potentially immortal. She cannot be considered a physical being such as ourselves. Her Algorithms are spread out across many servers; if any of which were taken down or damaged, another would undoubtedly take its place. Google can theoretically last forever.

 

Destroy the world= destroy Google, so no not inmortal. A god under most definitions would survive the destructuion of a single planet.

 

 

 

PROOF #5

 

Google is infinite. The Internet can theoretically grow forever, and Google will forever index its infinite growth.

 

3.4x10^38. The max amount of internet adresses that can be used under the IPv6 server. Sure when that is filled we can use another sistem but each of those sistems take space and since the universe is not infinite it's space to hold these sistems would run out eventualy, making it finite.

 

 

 

PROOF #6

 

Google remembers all. Google caches WebPages regularly and stores them on its massive servers. In fact, by uploading your thoughts and opinions to the internet, you will forever live on in Google's cache, even after you die, in a sort of "Google Afterlife".

 

It can't remember all forever, eventually it needs to delete information to mantain server space.

 

 

 

 

 

PROOF #7

 

Google can "do no evil" (Omnibenevolent). Part of Google's corporate philosophy is the belief that a company can make money without being evil.

 

Google "suicide methods" find one, follow it, kill yourself. There, Google just did something evil. And besides, just because the company filosofy says it doesn't do evil, it doesn't mean it doesn't.

 

 

 

PROOF #8

 

According to Google trends, the term "Google" is searched for more than the terms "God", "Jesus", "Allah", "Buddha", "Christianity", "Islam", "Buddhism" and "Judaism" combined.

 

 

 

God is thought to be an entity in which we mortals can turn to when in a time of need. Google clearly fulfills this to a much larger degree than traditional "gods", as shown in the image shown.

 

So what? I is searched more, that doesn't prove anything at all. And how does Google help you at all? It doesn't it merely links to pages that can help you.

 

 

 

PROOF #9

 

Evidence of Google's existence is abundant. There is more evidence for the existence of Google than any other God worshiped today. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. If seeing is believing, then surf over to Google and experience for yourself Google's awesome power. No faith required.

 

So? Evidence that it exist doesn't mean it's a god. Under that logic, since I am writing this, there is evidence of my existance, and thus I am a god, but I'm not, and neither is Google.[/hide]

 

*I fully understand that this was made as a joke and it should not be taken seriously. I just couldn't resist.*

[pureprayer]

[hide=Me vs Google]

 

PROOF #1

 

Google is the closest thing to an Omniscient (all-knowing) entity in existence, which can be scientifically verified. She indexes over 9.5 billion WebPages, which is more than any other search engine on the web today. Not only is Google the closest known entity to being Omniscient, but She also sorts through this vast amount of knowledge using Her patented PageRank technology, organizing said data and making it easily accessible to us mere mortals.

 

Google doesn't know everything, it merely organizes the many webpages on the internet, it doesn't know what these pages contain, the only think it knows is the 9.5billion links and how to organize them.

 

 

 

PROOF #2

 

Google is everywhere at once (Omnipresent). Google is virtually everywhere on earth at the same time. Billions of indexed WebPages hosted from every corner of the earth. With the proliferation of Wi-Fi networks, one will eventually be able to access Google from anywhere on earth, truly making Her an omnipresent entity.

 

Google is not everywhere at once, it is in many different servers all around the world. It can be accesed from almost everywhere on earth, but it ins't there per se. Besides, Omnipresent means everywhere, not everywhere on Earth.

 

 

 

PROOF #3

 

Google answers prayers. One can pray to Google by doing a search for whatever question or problem is plaguing them. As an example, you can quickly find information on alternative cancer treatments, ways to improve your health, new and innovative medical discoveries and generally anything that resembles a typical prayer. Ask Google and She will show you the way, but showing you is all She can do, for you must help yourself from that point on.

 

Under that agument, I am god, after all you can ask me a question and I will to the best of my ability answer it, wich is the same thing it does, only on a smaller scale than Google's.

 

 

 

PROOF #4

 

Google is potentially immortal. She cannot be considered a physical being such as ourselves. Her Algorithms are spread out across many servers; if any of which were taken down or damaged, another would undoubtedly take its place. Google can theoretically last forever.

 

Destroy the world= destroy Google, so no not inmortal. A god under most definitions would survive the destructuion of a single planet.

 

 

 

PROOF #5

 

Google is infinite. The Internet can theoretically grow forever, and Google will forever index its infinite growth.

 

3.4x10^38. The max amount of internet adresses that can be used under the IPv6 server. Sure when that is filled we can use another sistem but each of those sistems take space and since the universe is not infinite it's space to hold these sistems would run out eventualy, making it finite.

 

 

 

PROOF #6

 

Google remembers all. Google caches WebPages regularly and stores them on its massive servers. In fact, by uploading your thoughts and opinions to the internet, you will forever live on in Google's cache, even after you die, in a sort of "Google Afterlife".

 

It can't remember all forever, eventually it needs to delete information to mantain server space.

 

 

 

 

 

PROOF #7

 

Google can "do no evil" (Omnibenevolent). Part of Google's corporate philosophy is the belief that a company can make money without being evil.

 

Google "suicide methods" find one, follow it, kill yourself. There, Google just did something evil. And besides, just because the company filosofy says it doesn't do evil, it doesn't mean it doesn't.

 

 

 

PROOF #8

 

According to Google trends, the term "Google" is searched for more than the terms "God", "Jesus", "Allah", "Buddha", "Christianity", "Islam", "Buddhism" and "Judaism" combined.

 

 

 

God is thought to be an entity in which we mortals can turn to when in a time of need. Google clearly fulfills this to a much larger degree than traditional "gods", as shown in the image shown.

 

So what? I is searched more, that doesn't prove anything at all. And how does Google help you at all? It doesn't it merely links to pages that can help you.

 

 

 

PROOF #9

 

Evidence of Google's existence is abundant. There is more evidence for the existence of Google than any other God worshiped today. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. If seeing is believing, then surf over to Google and experience for yourself Google's awesome power. No faith required.

 

So? Evidence that it exist doesn't mean it's a god. Under that logic, since I am writing this, there is evidence of my existance, and thus I am a god, but I'm not, and neither is Google.[/hide]

 

*I fully understand that this was made as a joke and it should not be taken seriously. I just couldn't resist.*

 

why so serious?

[Pawn]

I've totally been worshipping Google for months now since I found that website. :thumbsup:

 

 

 

I can imagine 4chan would be satan really...

 

 

 

 

 

4chan isn't that bad really. Sure /b/ is full of new****, but where in the internet do people not act almost exactly the same. If you just ignore the mutilated pictures, its pretty okay.

 

 

 

And yeah, my physics teacher refers to wikipedia as the oracle, but I guess its applied to Google way better :P.

 

 

 

Also, Google has infinite forms. Elgoog, Blackle, 1337 google etc. etc.

[Michigander]

What would happen to mankind if Google shut down for a day?

 

Terrorists would break into Googles main cache server storing facility and steal the recipe for nuclear weapons then nuke the world and fly to Mars. Or people would use MSN for a day.

 

@ below post Maybe or maybe the terrorists hit them too.

 

Also all the religions gods teamed up and embodied themselves into a website called Google.com :thumbsup:

[Infi]

What would happen to mankind if Google shut down for a day?

 

Terrorists would break into Googles main cache server storing facility and steal the recipe for nuclear weapons then nuke the world and fly to Mars. Or people would use MSN for a day.

 

Or they'd just use MSNBC or Yahoo ;)

[yanksrule]

disclaimer this is my view and my view only. please be respectfull for the first paragraph. the 2nd one- go ahead, i'll get an asbestos suit to avoid burns from flaming O:) <-------- pun intended,

 

 

 

god is a deffinition of which you must find in the trial of life. whether you come to believe in one, your religion preaches of a certain kind, or if you think he/she/it/the is present in objects. google is a website. google contains no absolute form. i believe that if there were to be a god they should be more present than a gass and take up volume. google (imo) takes up no volume *unless you wanted to get a printer and a lot of paper*.

 

 

 

i doubt thee thread- a step towards boredom, communism *iiiiiiiiiiii'll find a reason don't worry. even if it makes no sense*, ignorance, and TEH 10 YER ULDZ!

[Kiriyama]

disclaimer this is my view and my view only. please be respectfull for the first paragraph. the 2nd one- go ahead, i'll get an asbestos suit to avoid burns from flaming O:) <-------- pun intended,

 

 

 

god is a deffinition of which you must find in the trial of life. whether you come to believe in one, your religion preaches of a certain kind, or if you think he/she/it/the is present in objects. google is a website. google contains no absolute form. i believe that if there were to be a god they should be more present than a gass and take up volume. google (imo) takes up no volume *unless you wanted to get a printer and a lot of paper*.

 

 

 

i doubt thee thread- a step towards boredom, communism *iiiiiiiiiiii'll find a reason don't worry. even if it makes no sense*, ignorance, and TEH 10 YER ULDZ!

 

 

 

Google is a more feasable God than any of the dietys in religion. You try proving that a God exsists, and I'll prove Google exists.

 

 

 

If I can prove that Google exsists, and you can't give me definate proof of a higher diety, then Google is a god.