Maze Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 I was reading in a magizine about a father who asked a question to an "expert" of taking care of children. This is what he wrote: My 10-year old daughter wants to go to a movie with a friend. This friend is a male, and I do not want her to go. She is not old enough for male friends, but I would let her go with female friends. SHe wants to go with him to get to know him better. This is the "expert"'s response: That was a good choice. She is not old enough to go with him...and I forgot the rest. #-o -- This was just a question that I thought would be a good debate: Should her father let her go with him? My opinion: Overprotective father. Who said that this boy was her boyfriend? I assume that they are going as friends. If the father was THAT concerned, he should have asked questions about this boy, instead of just saying "No! This is a boy, go with a girl!" Sexism much? :roll: --- Post your opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zierro Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 From as far as I can tell, the only reason a guy would want to hang out with a girl like that is cause he thinks of her as someone who could be more than just friends. But then again, we're talking about the age of 10. I had female friends at the age and thought nothing of it. I guess the father should just get to know the kid more before making decisions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riku3220 Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 The guy just wants to protect his daughter. If she wants to see the movie with him that badly they can go with parental supervision or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1_man_army Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 She's 10 years old, they're not going to be getting up to anything. There is no need as a parent to draw a distinction between children that young. A relationship for a 10 year old isn't what a relationship is to a teenager or older child. He who learns must suffer, and, even in our sleep, pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart,and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God. - Aeschylus (525 BC - 456 BC) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bauke Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 I don't see why little girls can't hang out with boys. Mixed relationships (non-sexual) are mandatory for development, imo. Not allowing your daughter to watch a movie, solemnly because it's a boy she's watching it with is just weird. Boys/men are people to. Not every boy/girl relationship ends up in sex. If you'd just let the girl go with the boy, they'd have much more ease in developing intersexual relationships. Boys and girls hanging out should be considered normal. It's no more than healthy. Besides, at that age it's all fun and games. Kinda pre-puberty. And even if they both hit puberty... if you don't let her go, you basically admit you think you she'll end up in mischief (whatever that may be in the eyes of the parent) which more or less means you haven't raised her well. From as far as I can tell, the only reason a guy would want to hang out with a girl like that is cause he thinks of her as someone who could be more than just friends. Is that the world you live in? Twitter ||| Google+ ||| Facebook ||| LinkedIn ||| My very interesting weblog about science Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zierro Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 Is that the world you live in? Yes...? Either that is a trick question or you didn't go past my first sentence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IGoddessI Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 I agree with the father. "Oh but they're just friends!!" Oh please, half of you are teenagers, I'd love to see your true response when you have your own daughter. As worded by a good friend of mine "I have a shotgun in the back cupboard just in case the first boyfriend screws up". If they really want to watch a movie then the boy can come over and watch it in the lounge room until I know what he's like. Ask any decent father how he feels about his daughter. Typical teenage responses "I can do what I want! She can do what she wants! He can do what he wants!" form an opinion when you actually have children. Not while you still are children. "Experts" work hard for their titles, they go to university for up to 7+ years. They give advice for a reason. I think it's rather ironic people who don't have kids give parents advice on how to raise kids. The only people who tell you that you can't do something are those who have already given up on their own dreams so feel the need to discourage yours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quoi_Tu Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 I agree with the father. "Oh but they're just friends!!" Oh please, half of you are teenagers, I'd love to see your true response when you have your own daughter. As worded by a good friend of mine "I have a shotgun in the back cupboard just in case the first boyfriend screws up". If they really want to watch a movie then the boy can come over and watch it in the lounge room until I know what he's like. Ask any decent father how he feels about his daughter. Typical teenage responses "I can do what I want! She can do what she wants! He can do what she wants!" form an opinion when you actually have children. Not while you still are children. I'd just set a timeline and if that timeline is breached (which it most likely would), then it's shotgun time. Beer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IGoddessI Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 Lol you can tell the responses from adults a part from a teenage response already. The only people who tell you that you can't do something are those who have already given up on their own dreams so feel the need to discourage yours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lenticular_J Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 I agree with the father. "Oh but they're just friends!!" Oh please, half of you are teenagers, I'd love to see your true response when you have your own daughter. As worded by a good friend of mine "I have a shotgun in the back cupboard just in case the first boyfriend screws up". If they really want to watch a movie then the boy can come over and watch it in the lounge room until I know what he's like. Ask any decent father how he feels about his daughter. Typical teenage responses "I can do what I want! She can do what she wants! He can do what she wants!" form an opinion when you actually have children. Not while you still are children. I'd just set a timeline and if that timeline is breached (which it most likely would), then it's shotgun time. Agree with all that. Ten minute timeline. No, wait, that's long enough for us crazy teenagers. Thirty seconds. Lol you can tell the responses from adults a part from a teenage response already. I feel estranged from my peers enough darnit. catch it now so you can like it before it went so mainstream Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madmanpur3 Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 Is it even legal for 10 year olds to go out unsupervised? And if they were supervised by the boy's parent(s), what's the problem? May the presents of our lord and savior, Santa, be with you this holiday season!First annual Clausmas - 2009 December 25 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da_Latios Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 I think the father should just ask "Are you going to try and have sex with my daughter?" and make a deduction from the response. IRC Nick: Hiroki | 99 Agility | Max Quest Points | 138 CombatBandos drops: 20 Hilt | 22 Chestplate | 21 Tassets | 14 Boots Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lenin64 Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 Lol you can tell the responses from adults a part from a teenage response already. They're only 10. I didn't realize the adult response is to become militant and fear the worst of everything. Command the Murderous Chalices! Drink ye harpooners! drink and swear, ye men that man the deathful whaleboat's bow- Death to Moby Dick!BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dusqi Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 "Experts" work hard for their titles, they go to university for up to 7+ years. They give advice for a reason. I think it's rather ironic people who don't have kids give parents advice on how to raise kids. Perhaps, although the type of "experts" that are in magazines aren't necessarily PhDs. Often they're just some guy who just claims to be knowledgeable but has no qualifications to back it up. Really knowledgeable people probably wouldn't want to risk their reputation by answering questions in a magazine. For it is the greyness of dusk that reigns.The time when the living and the dead exist as one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zierro Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 Lol you can tell the responses from adults a part from a teenage response already. They're only 10. I didn't realize the adult response is to become militant and fear the worst of everything. I didn't even see the correlation to begin with. :| Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
llcoolguy972 Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 Personally, I don't think I would let a 10 year old go to the movies alone, but that just may because my sense of age is warped. I agree with the father for not letting her go, but not with his reason. Not allowing her solely because it would be with a boy is ridiculous. -.- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bauke Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 Is that the world you live in? Yes...? Either that is a trick question or you didn't go past my first sentence. Doesn't really apply to the topic, but I find that a weird statement. Why wouldn't boys be able to "just" be friends with girls? Hey, I know I can. Twitter ||| Google+ ||| Facebook ||| LinkedIn ||| My very interesting weblog about science Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madmanpur3 Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 Personally, I don't think I would let a 10 year old go to the movies alone, but that just may because my sense of age is warped. Or because it's against the law, that reason works too. : I believe 12 is the age limit for being home alone/unsupervised. May the presents of our lord and savior, Santa, be with you this holiday season!First annual Clausmas - 2009 December 25 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zierro Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 Is that the world you live in? Yes...? Either that is a trick question or you didn't go past my first sentence. Doesn't really apply to the topic, but I find that a weird statement. Why wouldn't boys be able to "just" be friends with girls? Hey, I know I can. In my culture (hence the from as far as I can tell [meaning from what others can tell might be very different than what conclusions I've made]), asking someone of the opposite gender to the movies is just about asking them on a date. But like I said, they're only 10 and this might not be true. My post tried accommodating both ends of the spectrum: usually guys have sex on their minds VS they might be a bit too young to even think of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smapla Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 though i feel like kids in my age group wouldn't have been doing anything potentially sexual at age ten, i can't say the same for kids even two years younger than me... particularly, the freshman class in my highschool this year are incredibly... whorish. the boys hit on all the girls, and the girls just let it happen... they don't discourage it at all, and infact thrive on it. thus, i feel that perhaps the father was right, though for the wrong reasons. if he really meant that she shouldn't have any friends of the opposite sex, then that's completely idiotic. many people have good friends of the opposite sex and it never escalates to a relationship. however, if by "friends" he actually meant that she shouldn't be thinking about a boyfriend, then i agree... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giordano Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 Did the fact that they're 10 slipped to the back of the mind for some people? You don't let 10 year olds out by themselves. If the father went with her to see the movie what's the problem? "The cry of the poor is not always just, but if you never hear it you'll never know what justice is." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
l0rd Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy. Its human nature. I wouldn't, not at 10. [iNSERT "I R EATIN TEH SHIX ATM" BILL COSBY SIGNATURE GIF HERE, LOL] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lenin64 Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 Lol you can tell the responses from adults a part from a teenage response already. They're only 10. I didn't realize the adult response is to become militant and fear the worst of everything. I didn't even see the correlation to begin with. :| Well, it is assuming that she believes her own response to be the "adult" response in this situation. Not too big of a logic leap, really. Command the Murderous Chalices! Drink ye harpooners! drink and swear, ye men that man the deathful whaleboat's bow- Death to Moby Dick!BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IGoddessI Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 They're only 10. I didn't realize the adult response is to become militant and fear the worst of everything. Since when do 10 year olds go to see movies without some sort of supervision or with friends parents are not aware of anyway? That's pretty screwed up. That's like grade 4. Common sense and fearing the worst of everything are completely different things and completely far fetched. Even according to some laws in different countries it's illegal. A father made a decision for his own daughter and I think it's bs that people come in here and have half a nerve to tell him he did the wrong thing. Perhaps a better question would be "What would you do if this was your daughter?" instead of insulting a responsible father's parenting abilities or judging an "experts" response. "Sure honey you can go to the movies with someone I don't even know" The only people who tell you that you can't do something are those who have already given up on their own dreams so feel the need to discourage yours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lenticular_J Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 though i feel like kids in my age group wouldn't have been doing anything potentially sexual at age ten, i can't say the same for kids even two years younger than me... particularly, the freshman class in my highschool this year are incredibly... whorish. the boys hit on all the girls, and the girls just let it happen... they don't discourage it at all, and infact thrive on it. thus, i feel that perhaps the father was right, though for the wrong reasons. if he really meant that she shouldn't have any friends of the opposite sex, then that's completely idiotic. many people have good friends of the opposite sex and it never escalates to a relationship. however, if by "friends" he actually meant that she shouldn't be thinking about a boyfriend, then i agree... Aye. We're [bleep]s. Seriously. A whole buncha girls got pregnant recently. I feel bad for 'em. catch it now so you can like it before it went so mainstream Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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