You'd think in today's politically correct society, feminism would've changed its name to something more gender-neutral, considering that's what it's supposedly all about.

"Humanism" was taken.

I actually never meant that men are the most repressed gender. If I meant anything (which, quite frankly I didn't), it's that the street can go both ways.

 

As a general rule of thumb though, I am opposed to political correctness in favor of actual manners. There are entire topics that only exist between the lines, and I've always felt that it's kind of stupid. This does end up touching on the whole equality issue though in places like job hiring, where companies routinely end up passing over the most qualified candidates in favor of creating a gender-racial ratio that doesn't make them look like sexist racists. Such policies have always hit me as socially approved discrimination, which would seem to be the end goal, rather than actual non discrimination where people would be judged on their merits. Though in many ways, I do realize that my wish for society in this regard is quite idealistic, in this case, I think it might be something worth shooting for anyway.

One girl I know is 16 and just gave birth about 3 days ago to a baby girl. Over the past nine months she's been bragging about being pregnant and how she is going to do the right thing and put her baby up for adoption. She'd post about one status every 3 days regarding her pregnancy and how strong she is for doing what's best for her daughter, even if it hurts her. She is now saying that she is going to keep it, that she has disowned her mother and that she's going to start new.

 

The amount of people who are telling her that disowning your parents and living on your own with a baby girl when you're 16 years old actually blows my mind.

Disown her mother? I thought that only worked the other way around...

 

So with a baby she's going to live by herself, with a job? Or am I missing what disowned means...

I'd heavily advise against pushing away family at a time like that. It's stressful enough and you need the support of those around. Removing her mother from the picture will only add further to the difficulty of the situation.

The amount of people who are telling her that disowning your parents and living on your own with a baby girl when you're 16 years old actually blows my mind.

What are they telling her? I'm pretty sure you left out a pretty crucial word there.

I bet a lot of her FB friends were encouraging her and patting her on the back for her decision, by calling her a "strong, mature, independent young woman"

 

(While talking shit on her behind her back of course)

here's about 50 comments. Here are a few of my favorites.

 

"I love you, cant wait to meet my new cousin, couldnt be happier for you!!"

"Be sure to post manyyy pictures!"

[bleeping] right!

"Omg [name] im so proud of u . Im happy for u send me pics <3<3"

"Good for you [name]. If its what you want than no body can say shit. I'm so happy for you. I hope everything turns out fantastically."

"Your going to be such a great mom stay strong girl "

"So proud of you [name] you're going to be an amazing mother [name] is so lucky."

 

^Comments are letter-for-letter, aside from the editing of names.

 

I also either misread the status or she edited it. I now see that it reads "disowned by my mother", as a result of her keeping the child instead of giving it up for adoption like she had been telling everyone she was going to do for the past 4 months.

Edited December 21, 201213 yr by Kaida23
Removed a name you missed. ;)

God forbid anyone offer encouragement or positivity to someone going through a difficult time...

God forbid anyone offer encouragement or positivity to someone going through a difficult time...

 

She doesn't have the luxury of time if she's deciding to keep the child. Hospital bills won't wait while she gets a pat on the back from her facebook friends.

 

She needs someone to help her in order to ensure security for herself and the child. Being encouraging is one thing, and facebook isn't really the place to be having a discussion of that magnitude...but given her age and how inexperience and hormones are wrecking her reasoning I wouldn't be surprised if that was her chief means of communication.

Agreed. Having a baby is hard enough when you're in a committed relationship, with a full time job and the support of your family. If her parents have disowned her, she's going to have a very rough time.

here's about 50 comments. Here are a few of my favorites.

 

"I love you, cant wait to meet my new cousin, couldnt be happier for you!!"

"Be sure to post manyyy pictures!"

[bleeping] right!

"Omg [name] im so proud of u . Im happy for u send me pics <3<3"

"Good for you [name]. If its what you want than no body can say shit. I'm so happy for you. I hope everything turns out fantastically."

"Your going to be such a great mom stay strong girl "

"So proud of you [name] you're going to be an amazing mother [name] is so lucky."

 

^Comments are letter-for-letter, aside from the editing of names.

 

I also either misread the status or she edited it. I now see that it reads "disowned by my mother", as a result of her keeping the child instead of giving it up for adoption like she had been telling everyone she was going to do for the past 4 months.

 

Yup no surprises there.

 

God forbid anyone offer encouragement or positivity to someone going through a difficult time...

 

Encouraging stupid behavior reinforces stupid behavior. I suspect this kind of thing would be less common if teens weren't given positive reinforcement for things like this.

 

Having a child when you're clearly emotionally/financially unqualified to have one is bad for you, bad for your child, and bad for society.

I suspect this kind of thing would be less common if teens weren't given positive reinforcement for things like this.

16 and Pregnant, anyone? <_<

 

The very fact that a show like that exists annoys the hell out of me.

It is possible for 16-year-olds to be pregnant and have a very successful pregnancy and bring up their child in a safe environment. It's not as ideal as, say, a 26-year-old doing it, but it's not really our place to judge the circumstances which lead to them becoming pregnant in the first place. Regardless of age, pregnant would-be mothers still require a lot of support, whether they're 16 or 45, and not all of that support can be provided by the state or the hospital.

 

She's been disowned by her mother? That's regrettable. I'm wondering what kind of a mother disowns their pregnant daughter and would-be grandchild because, presumably, she decided not to terminate the pregnancy. I hope she sees sense once she's calmed down and seen things more clearly. There's nothing wrong with encouragement because if she wants to go through with the pregnancy, she'll need that support network during the "bad days" to keep her going, but she also needs practical help and she won't find that on Facebook. She's more likely to get practical help from someone who's been there, done it, got the T-shirt--her mother. Unless any of her friends on Facebook can provide that practical support, they're well-meaning amateurs as far as I'm concerned.

Never mind.

Encouraging stupid behavior reinforces stupid behavior. I suspect this kind of thing would be less common if teens weren't given positive reinforcement for things like this.

 

Having a child when you're clearly emotionally/financially unqualified to have one is bad for you, bad for your child, and bad for society.

 

Of course. Yet she's clearly already made a decision, so rather than using facebook to lecture her about her lack of judgement, you might as well be positive.

Better to not say anything at all imo

Agreed, which is what I'd have done...but some of the reactions on here made it seem like these people were encouraging her to join the KKK or something equally ridiculous.

Well it just seems that prior to things like FB and reality TV shows, if a girl got pregnant on accident, she was socially ostracised. But nowadays such things are celebrated instead, and consequently a lot of kids are being brought into the world w/o a "proper" upbringing, which leads to problems down the road for everybody.

 

But for all I know the statistics could say otherwise and my observations could be wrong :P

What's done is done. Pragmatically, if you were her friends, wouldn't you think it's more constructive to offer support instead of castigating them for their choices? You make it sound like women being socially isolated because they were pregnant was somehow a good thing.

If I were her close friend (as opposed to just a random Facebook friend), I'd encourage her to put the kid up for adoption if she insisted on having it. I'm not necessarily saying that condemning women in her position is a good thing; I am, however, asserting that it's better than congratulating her for being stupid.

 

She's going to be very unhappy for the next 18+ years of her life. I feel especially sorry for the kid if there's no father figure in his/her life too.

She'll receive justice and a half for her choice, whether she claws her way to a better life for her and her child or not. It's not really her fault. Making someone at that age understand the gravity of the situation is going to go as well as teaching your dog to play Halo 4 with you.

 

As for supporting your friends...no, I think there is a limit. I think there comes a point where even if you will always try to help them in whatever situation they happen to find themselves in, you have to take a step back and realize that your friend is making a terrible choice and not endorse it. Be there for them, keep the 'I told you so' to yourself, but don't tell them it was the right decision either, not if you really believe it wasn't.

 

 

Anyhow, uncontrolled children annoy me. Got back from a family get together, and my youngest cousins on that side (who I suppose would be once removed, not being of my generation) are running around, jumping, hitting, and screaming to the point where you keep hearing surges in volume of general conversation as people sitting next to each other struggle to hear themselves speak. The parents only acknowledge the children if they either either clawing each other or literally screaming, and do jack to try and calm them down. I'm sure the older people in attendance love the prospect of being knocked over so they can break a hip, and I'm sure the neighbors in the next apartment down were thrilled when one of the girls walked around in a healed shoe twice the size of her foot (BANG BANG BANG) for a full minute before her mother even noticed.

Although I like to be sociable with people around me even if I don't know them, I am a very introverted person, so I can only go so far without starting to feel tired. At family events I usually end up babysitting the children while popping in and out of conversation with the adults, because I love looking after children anyway. It is frustrating when you see a child doing something that is so blatantly unsafe and you try and make eye contact with one of the parents to say "I can't physically drag your child away from danger because that would be assault, aren't you going to do something about it", but they're so busy in their own little conversation they completely ignore you.

 

You can usually guarantee that exact same parent will object to their child eating something from the buffet table too, like a breadstick or something, because their appetite will be out of sync and that means they won't go to sleep or have another meal at a certain time later. Completely self-indulgent.

She'll receive justice and a half for her choice, whether she claws her way to a better life for her and her child or not. It's not really her fault.

 

You're not suggesting that getting pregnant and choosing to keep the baby isn't her fault are you? Because she's fully responsible for that.

I'ma be flamed for this but...abortion is always an option. You got like, 5 months to decide really. Technically even more but that's iffy.

 

I just don't understand how people could not be more in favor of abortion. Typically, people are such self-centered jerks. When the time comes to be the ultra-self centered jerk, they refuse. wtf