Me and my ex split up 3 months ago.

 

He didn't mean for it to get that serious so quick, blah blah blah, fine whatever, I was not too happy about it but I was getting on with things.

 

2 Weeks later I found out I am pregnant.

 

I am happy about the pregnancy... I am getting there anyway.

 

The thing is, it's OK for him to just go about his life as if nothing has happened (yes he is saying he is there for the baby)

 

How am I supposed to get over how he treated me.... (im not going to go into details of the breakup) when I have a constant reminder of things that happened?

 

He is not the one who is sat at home most nights feeling like he is about to throw up at any given moment, he is not the one who cant fir into any of his clothes, he is not the one who is constantly tired allllll the time (I think I may be slightly anaemic) he is not the one who was crapping themselves when he thought he was having a miscarriage.... yet he couldn't even be bothered to come to the hospital with me to check everything was OK....

 

All crap reminders of what happens... and all everyone keeps telling me is in the end it wont matter as I will have this bundle of joy.... which yes you are right, however I have to get past the next 6 months...

 

I am having a bad day and REALLY need a hug :-(

 

 

 

 

Oh and to top it all off, my grams is going to be taken into hospital as she has low blood pressure, is not eating or drinking, keeps fainting... oh and they think she may have some internal bleeding as her blood count is low..... ooh oooh oooh and my uncle is unable to come over from Australia to visit her as he is going through chemotherapy for prostate cancer..... anyone or anything else want to crap on my life???

*Hugs*

Wow, that's messed up :mellow:

 

*hugs*

Have you considered abortion or adoption?

Abortion is a huge no for me, and I am prepared to keep the baby, I have always wanted a child, just not while in the situation I am in now... I could never give a child up though.

One of my friends went through an open adoption. She let a family adopt her baby, and she gets to be able to contact them and be able to be a part of the baby's life for a while. Could look into that. If you're a teen or something, I would've adopted the baby to someone, but of course it's your baby

I give you mad props for being this strong. And a well deserved *hug*

 

Let us know if theres any other way we can help.

oh no, no he wasn't abusive... he was just a complete douche to me.

*Hugs.* Everything will fall into place eventually. Some things just take longer than others.

I'll give the first obligatory realistic not-delusional response.

 

You are where you are because of choices you made. Get over it. Life's too short to sit around and pout about everything.

I'll give the first obligatory realistic not-delusional response.

 

You are where you are because of choices you made. Get over it. Life's too short to sit around and pout about everything.

 

:thumbup:

I'll give the first obligatory realistic not-delusional response.

 

You are where you are because of choices you made. Get over it. Life's too short to sit around and pout about everything.

 

1) say something cynical and oversimplified

2) consider yourself smart and realistic

3) ??????

4) profit

 

A person is distressed and you tell them to get over it, which means you don't give a damn about how they're feeling or how they should get back on track but instead think they're just being childish. And maybe you don't. So if you don't like a thread, don't post on it, but don't pretend you're taking the practical, moral high ground. Life is hard and complicated. Sometimes, people need to talk. Sometimes, people need more help. That's for the individual to judge. But trust me, you don't have to heap onto the insecurity and anxiety by your blithe attitude. In this case, what you should have said was nothing.

 

Abortion is a huge no for me, and I am prepared to keep the baby, I have always wanted a child, just not while in the situation I am in now... I could never give a child up though.

 

Well, consider that situations constantly change. It's reasonable to expect that the conditions you're in now will not be the same a year from now. You've always wanted a child and now you'll have one. Your ex can be dealt with, whether it be with getting sole custody when the time comes or coming to the decision that you both want to get help to make the relationship work. Your grandma is getting the help she needs to get better and your uncle is, too. And you're strong, or you wouldn't be here to begin with.

 

But it's really hard to get from point A to point B. I can understand that. It is depressing, draining. You think of all the things that are coming your way, all the people you need to be strong for, all the things to keep going for...and it can sometimes just not be enough. I think you need help. Whether that is a friend you can confide in, a doctor you can speak to, a therapist you visit weekly, a hobby you can work on, anything. Find someone, or something like a hobby... anything that helps you focus on today and nothing but today. Don't let yourself get overwhelmed.

 

Or maybe this thread was your way of reaching out. That's a good step. Keep reaching out to the people you can, the friends you know, the family you have. Keep trying.

Are you just going to turn to tip.it forums every time someone blows their nose?

 

For your sake, get some REAL help. Please.

 

And no, I don't know how to help you. But writing your sob story to people probably 1000s of miles across seas isn't

going to do anything. I wish it was that easy but seriously, it won't.

Who posts this on a game forum L

I'll give the first obligatory realistic not-delusional response.

 

You are where you are because of choices you made. Get over it. Life's too short to sit around and pout about everything.

 

1) say something cynical and oversimplified

2) consider yourself smart and realistic

3) ??????

4) profit

 

A person is distressed and you tell them to get over it, which means you don't give a damn about how they're feeling or how they should get back on track but instead think they're just being childish. And maybe you don't. So if you don't like a thread, don't post on it, but don't pretend you're taking the practical, moral high ground. Life is hard and complicated. Sometimes, people need to talk. Sometimes, people need more help. That's for the individual to judge. But trust me, you don't have to heap onto the insecurity and anxiety by your blithe attitude. In this case, what you should have said was nothing.

 

I think you're wrong. I think that taking such a high regard to all this touchy-feely bullcrap only makes life worse. The things people say these days...in their real lives...its like some crap you hear in a soap opera. "I need some time to work on my personal emotions!" "How do I get by another day when I have to look at ____"

 

It's like the damn script from laguna beach. It is purely delusional. People never talked like this before TV and MTV and all the other terrible sources of media overstimulation conviced people that movie scripts are realistic.

 

Everybody has problems, its life. Sitting around and moping isn't gonna get you anywhere or change the situation.

 

Take it in stride, suck up your pride, pick yourself up, and move the hell on.

I'll give the first obligatory realistic not-delusional response.

 

You are where you are because of choices you made. Get over it. Life's too short to sit around and pout about everything.

 

1) say something cynical and oversimplified

2) consider yourself smart and realistic

3) ??????

4) profit

 

A person is distressed and you tell them to get over it, which means you don't give a damn about how they're feeling or how they should get back on track but instead think they're just being childish. And maybe you don't. So if you don't like a thread, don't post on it, but don't pretend you're taking the practical, moral high ground. Life is hard and complicated. Sometimes, people need to talk. Sometimes, people need more help. That's for the individual to judge. But trust me, you don't have to heap onto the insecurity and anxiety by your blithe attitude. In this case, what you should have said was nothing.

 

I think you're wrong. I think that taking such a high regard to all this touchy-feely bullcrap only makes life worse. The things people say these days...in their real lives...its like some crap you hear in a soap opera. "I need some time to work on my personal emotions!" "How do I get by another day when I have to look at ____"

 

It's like the damn script from laguna beach. It is purely delusional. People never talked like this before TV and MTV and all the other terrible sources of media overstimulation conviced people that movie scripts are realistic.

 

Everybody has problems, its life. Sitting around and moping isn't gonna get you anywhere or change the situation.

 

Take it in stride, suck up your pride, pick yourself up, and move the hell on.

 

Agreeing with weapons on this one.

 

I'm going to sound like an ass, but I'll say it anyways. This is why one should practice...safe sex. You're not like Mary, God didn't get you pregnant. You willingly (from what the OP has said/hinted at) had sex, and having a baby is an outcome from sex. I realize that this may suck, you feel aweful, etc., but this all comes down to your choices.

 

Good luck.

 

By the way, hope for a miscarriage if you don't want the baby and don't want to have an abortion.

I'll give the first obligatory realistic not-delusional response.

 

You are where you are because of choices you made. Get over it. Life's too short to sit around and pout about everything.

 

1) say something cynical and oversimplified

2) consider yourself smart and realistic

3) ??????

4) profit

 

A person is distressed and you tell them to get over it, which means you don't give a damn about how they're feeling or how they should get back on track but instead think they're just being childish. And maybe you don't. So if you don't like a thread, don't post on it, but don't pretend you're taking the practical, moral high ground. Life is hard and complicated. Sometimes, people need to talk. Sometimes, people need more help. That's for the individual to judge. But trust me, you don't have to heap onto the insecurity and anxiety by your blithe attitude. In this case, what you should have said was nothing.

 

I think you're wrong. I think that taking such a high regard to all this touchy-feely bullcrap only makes life worse. The things people say these days...in their real lives...its like some crap you hear in a soap opera. "I need some time to work on my personal emotions!" "How do I get by another day when I have to look at ____"

 

It's like the damn script from laguna beach. It is purely delusional. People never talked like this before TV and MTV and all the other terrible sources of media overstimulation conviced people that movie scripts are realistic.

 

Everybody has problems, its life. Sitting around and moping isn't gonna get you anywhere or change the situation.

 

Take it in stride, suck up your pride, pick yourself up, and move the hell on.

 

...What?

 

So people can't have problems dealing with things? OR are you just seeing the whole unplanned pregnancy and automatically judging someone for it, thinking if you can just pick yourself up and move on that everyone else should be able to? Or are you just posting to be 'cool'?

 

The answer to either scenario makes you out to be a jackass, and you're not a jackass. So what's the real deal here?

I'll give the first obligatory realistic not-delusional response.

 

You are where you are because of choices you made. Get over it. Life's too short to sit around and pout about everything.

 

1) say something cynical and oversimplified

2) consider yourself smart and realistic

3) ??????

4) profit

 

A person is distressed and you tell them to get over it, which means you don't give a damn about how they're feeling or how they should get back on track but instead think they're just being childish. And maybe you don't. So if you don't like a thread, don't post on it, but don't pretend you're taking the practical, moral high ground. Life is hard and complicated. Sometimes, people need to talk. Sometimes, people need more help. That's for the individual to judge. But trust me, you don't have to heap onto the insecurity and anxiety by your blithe attitude. In this case, what you should have said was nothing.

 

I think you're wrong. I think that taking such a high regard to all this touchy-feely bullcrap only makes life worse. The things people say these days...in their real lives...its like some crap you hear in a soap opera. "I need some time to work on my personal emotions!" "How do I get by another day when I have to look at ____"

 

It's like the damn script from laguna beach. It is purely delusional. People never talked like this before TV and MTV and all the other terrible sources of media overstimulation conviced people that movie scripts are realistic.

 

Everybody has problems, its life. Sitting around and moping isn't gonna get you anywhere or change the situation.

 

Take it in stride, suck up your pride, pick yourself up, and move the hell on.

 

...What?

 

So people can't have problems dealing with things? OR are you just seeing the whole unplanned pregnancy and automatically judging someone for it, thinking if you can just pick yourself up and move on that everyone else should be able to? Or are you just posting to be 'cool'?

 

The answer to either scenario makes you out to be a jackass, and you're not a jackass. So what's the real deal here?

I think the deal is that she's complaining about things that can't or won't change. She doesn't want to have a constant reminder of whatever her boyfriend has done to her, yet she has already decided against abortion and adoption. So why complain about it? Yeah it sucks, but dwelling on it is useless. She should be looking towards the future rather than staying in the past. She then goes on to complain about how her ex wasn't the one being pregnant for 3 months, which is doubly useless to complain about because of the simple fact that men can't get pregnant. And then there's the thing with her grandmother and her uncle.

 

None of these problems can be fixed with a few nice words and a couple of prayers. The best and most rational decision is to get over it, and look towards the future.

 

The answer to either scenario makes you out to be a jackass, and you're not a jackass. So what's the real deal here?

 

I don't feel that my advice is being a jackass. I feel my advice is truly going to help.

 

I'm not gonna help by saying "Awww hun, its okay!" "Cry your head on my shoulder, you can lean on me for emotional support!"

 

All that crap is made up.

 

The best help you can give yourself if to realize what you can change and what you cant. If you can change something, then stop crying about it and change it. If you can't, then stop crying about it and don't let it ruin your life. That is the way I see it.

It's one thing to point out that all you can do is "get over it", it's another thing to say anyone offering consolation is full of [cabbage].

 

Her situation sucks. Yeah, it's through choices she's made, but it still sucks. There's nothing that can be done about it, but the least you can do is say sorry.

 

OT: Sorry to hear that, just keep your head up now and you'll be ok :)

It's one thing to point out that all you can do is "get over it", it's another thing to say anyone offering consolation is full of [cabbage].

 

Her situation sucks. Yeah, it's through choices she's made, but it still sucks. There's nothing that can be done about it, but the least you can do is say sorry.

 

OT: Sorry to hear that, just keep your head up now and you'll be ok :)

 

I don't get why you would say sorry when she chose to do what she did. That's like saying, "Yeah you're the guy who shot that guy, and now you're in jail. I feel so bad for you, I'm so sorry!"

It's one thing to point out that all you can do is "get over it", it's another thing to say anyone offering consolation is full of [cabbage].

 

Her situation sucks. Yeah, it's through choices she's made, but it still sucks. There's nothing that can be done about it, but the least you can do is say sorry.

 

OT: Sorry to hear that, just keep your head up now and you'll be ok :)

 

I don't get why you would say sorry when she chose to do what she did. That's like saying, "Yeah you're the guy who shot that guy, and now you're in jail. I feel so bad for you, I'm so sorry!"

It's hardly like that.

 

She's obviously going through a hard time. Yeah, it's her fault(mostly) and there's nothing we can do. Sympathy is helpful and free.

 

Arrogantly assuming you're above having hard times in your life is rude and immature.

A lot of you are unfeeling gits.

 

Sometimes, even though nothing can be done about it, it's good to vent. Sometimes you just have to tell someone, even random people on a game forum! Letting people know your feelings can put them in perspective, even just writing them out. I've done this a lot myself. I express a lot of my problems here, use it to get support - even just knowing that someone has listened to me.

 

Yes, there isn't much any of us can do. Sometimes it's silly to be overly 'Awwww! *huggles*' but sometimes it's what people need. They need support - just someone to speak to.

 

So, if you think this is pointless or stupid, then ignore it. Don't come in here being unfeeling and unnecessarily cruel because you either think that you're being cool, you're taking the high ground and being 'superior' or you're being realistic. It's not realistic to expect the world to react kindly, life is harsh, but that doesn't mean we need to. If life is cruel then why are you so determined to make it even worse?

 

But yes, more on topic, you'll just have to see how things go. Feelings can be interchangeable and you need to think what is best for yourself and your child. That baby isn't anyone else's - it's yours. No matter who else made them, she/he is still a part of you and you'll love your child. Things will work out :)

It's one thing to point out that all you can do is "get over it", it's another thing to say anyone offering consolation is full of [cabbage].

 

Her situation sucks. Yeah, it's through choices she's made, but it still sucks. There's nothing that can be done about it, but the least you can do is say sorry.

 

OT: Sorry to hear that, just keep your head up now and you'll be ok :)

 

I don't get why you would say sorry when she chose to do what she did. That's like saying, "Yeah you're the guy who shot that guy, and now you're in jail. I feel so bad for you, I'm so sorry!"

It's hardly like that.

 

She's obviously going through a hard time. Yeah, it's her fault(mostly) and there's nothing we can do. Sympathy is helpful and free.

 

Arrogantly assuming you're above having hard times in your life is rude and immature.

 

Who posts this on a game forum L

 

 

A lot of you are unfeeling gits.

 

Sometimes, even though nothing can be done about it, it's good to vent. Sometimes you just have to tell someone, even random people on a game forum! Letting people know your feelings can put them in perspective, even just writing them out. I've done this a lot myself. I express a lot of my problems here, use it to get support - even just knowing that someone has listened to me.

 

Yes, there isn't much any of us can do. Sometimes it's silly to be overly 'Awwww! *huggles*' but sometimes it's what people need. They need support - just someone to speak to.

 

So, if you think this is pointless or stupid, then ignore it. Don't come in here being unfeeling and unnecessarily cruel because you either think that you're being cool, you're taking the high ground and being 'superior' or you're being realistic. It's not realistic to expect the world to react kindly, life is harsh, but that doesn't mean we need to. If life is cruel then why are you so determined to make it even worse?

 

But yes, more on topic, you'll just have to see how things go. Feelings can be interchangeable and you need to think what is best for yourself and your child. That baby isn't anyone else's - it's yours. No matter who else made them, she/he is still a part of you and you'll love your child. Things will work out :)

 

I completely agree with you Racheya. The thing is, I don't feel that someone should do whatever they feel like, whether it'd be good or bad, then expect people to give them symphony.

 

I completely agree with you Racheya. The thing is, I don't feel that someone should do whatever they feel like, whether it'd be good or bad, then expect people to give them symphony.

 

 

Yeah, who should expect symphony?

 

 

As for who posts this on a game forum, this is off-topic - which means it has no prerequisite of being related to the game in any way shape or form.