Parenting

[TrueBeaver]

My children will be playing sports up to high school simply because of the values they instill. In high school I'll allow them to choose another extracurricular activity if they want, but the teamwork, obedience, exercise, etc. provided from playing team sports is priceless.

 

Also, in regards to this:

Presence - You have to spend time with your kids, and set an example for them. Too many parents are so hands off that kids don't feel they have parents at all, just "older friends".

Either myself or my wife will be a stay at home parent because I feel like presence is incredibly important for raising children.

 

And in regards to this:

How would you deal with children who are undisciplined though? Should smacking be considered acceptable for the deterrence effect, or would it be 'wrong' to do so?

Smacking will be the least of my children's worries if they are undisciplined.

[Giordano]

Either myself or my wife will be a stay at home parent because I feel like presence is incredibly important for raising children.

A value so misunderstood today.

[Riku3220]

Either myself or my wife will be a stay at home parent because I feel like presence is incredibly important for raising children.

A value so misunderstood today.

I don't really see the point. I mean, a child goes to school somewhere between 7 and 8 hours a day. How does staying at home while they're at school help keep the presence? During the hour or so you're still at work they can go outside and play with their friends, do their homework, play video games, or whatever. When both parents are working, money is less likely to be tight, saving up for college will be much easier, you'll be able to afford vacations, which are great for family relations, and you can afford nice things for the family in general. Staying at home just seems like a waste to me, especially you'll be home for the time when they're out of school.

[Giordano]

Either myself or my wife will be a stay at home parent because I feel like presence is incredibly important for raising children.

A value so misunderstood today.

I don't really see the point. I mean, a child goes to school somewhere between 7 and 8 hours a day. How does staying at home while they're at school help keep the presence? During the hour or so you're still at work they can go outside and play with their friends, do their homework, play video games, or whatever. When both parents are working, money is less likely to be tight, saving up for college will be much easier, you'll be able to afford vacations, which are great for family relations, and you can afford nice things for the family in general. Staying at home just seems like a waste to me, especially you'll be home for the time when they're out of school.

Usually a small part-job turns into a full-time job, and then you're screwed. A stay-at-home job would be a nice alternative though.

 

But anyway, lets say both parents work and let Mexicans clean, cook, laundry, and mow the lawn. You're wasting quite a bit of money there. Do those things yourself? Eh, I know *I* wouldn't want to spend so much time working/cleaning I won't have time for myself and my child. A stay-home parent is something I feel necessary for the best childhood. Do I scorn parents for not doing so? No, because not every family has financial stability. But it's a goal that should be reached for.

[Riku3220]

Cooking and laundry shouldn't ever require your full attention and something like mowing the lawn would be done like once every 2 weeks. Besides, as the child gets older they're able to start doing chores as well and things like drying dishes or sorting clothes is something they can start doing at a young age.

[TrueBeaver]

The years before the child starts school are the most important.

[lizzywizzy]

Proving you are able to keep your child safe and as healthy as you are able to (health problems aside) then I believe one of the importants to parenting is making sure the child is brought up with a good grasp of the concept of manners.

 

It is not hard from a young age to teach a child to say please or thank you if they want something, it is shocking the amount of kids you see (or the amount of kids around where I am) that wont even use please or thank you.

 

 

I dont think having a stay at home parent is 100% necessary, in my eyes that could cause the child to be too clingy with one or both parent.

I plan on going back to work, Freya will be almost one when I return and the childcare will be shared between me on my days off, my mum, her father on his fays off and if needed my friends aunt who is a registered child minder.

 

I kind of feel that if the child is constantly with one parent then it will make the transition of being at home and going to nursery/ school that little bit harder on the child.

[Nomrombom]

I would NEVER force a kid to do any sport or activity they didn't have any interest in, case in point = piano. If they want to do it, by all means, go ahead. But I'm not going to waste time and money on something they don't want and nobody needs. I would definitely encourage participation in physical activities though. But again, not going to force them to do something which they'll just hate more and more and resist.

[obfuscator]

Forcing piano on your kids (for a short time at least) is something they'll hate at the time but greatly appreciate later. My parents made me do it for about four years and I detested it at the time but looking back I greatly appreciated it; it gave me a much better understanding of music than I would have had otherwise.

[The Observer]

Forcing piano on your kids (for a short time at least) is something they'll hate at the time but greatly appreciate later. My parents made me do it for about four years and I detested it at the time but looking back I greatly appreciated it; it gave me a much better understanding of music than I would have had otherwise.

 

I agree.

 

My family isn't fortunate enough to be able to do things such as sports or other activities, but even if they don't like it at first they can turn out to like it later.

 

For example, if you bring them to hockey they might not like it at first due to their shyness, but it will help improve their character overtime.

 

I believe the ultimate goal of parenthood would be to give the child the best start you can give them. After all, during that time the child is still developing (in fact most of us still technically are).

[blaah]

Equality.

 

Children should be treated semi-equally. Children are individuals and all have their own strengths and weaknesses, but they need to be treated similarly in regard to possessions and chores. My 13 year old sister throws spoiled fits over not having a cell phone and an iPod touch because "all her friends have them," but that's not true and it wouldn't be fair to my brother or myself if she was given either of those things now. She's had her own iPod shuffle and my hand me down nano, when me and my brother were given our first iPods at age 13 for our birthdays - and we had to pay half. Both my brother and I received cell phones at age 15. My parents aren't giving in to her whiny requests, especially since she doesn't do her simple chores unless my mom tells her to.

 

My best friend's family has no sense of equality towards their children at the moment. All the kids/young adults are given many things, but the 19 year old does nothing to contribute to the house, the 18 year old does a lot even though she doesn't live there full time, the 9 year old can't do much but whines if she's told to do anything, and obviously the 22 month year old has few things he could do. The 9 year old is spoiled beyond belief and holds a spoiled attitude, which drives me crazy sometimes. My friend, the 18 year old, is given her car, her phone, and a generous amount of Christmas gifts (they all are), but she rarely acts spoiled unless it's regarding privileges and she does a lot for the house even though she doesn't live there full time until this week when school ends because she lives with her 87 year old great grandma during the school year and takes care of her. The 19 year old hasn't held much responsibilty in years. He was allowed to run free at age 16 and doesn't do a lot when he's around. His parents hold him exempt because he joined the army.

 

In their situation, it's a second marriage, but the 18 and 19 year olds should at least have semi-equal treatment since they'll both be living there after high school once graduation passes this weekend.

 

IN SHORT: treat your kids equally for their ages.

[Ginger_Warrior]

So long as the child is clearly loved and cared for, so that it learns how to love and care for other people, I don't really have any principle for parents who stay at home. I think if one of the parents stays at home and cares for the child dotingly, responding to its every demand it will make the child less independent and less likely to develop its own conscience, which will only cause trouble when it has to go to school and, preferably, nursery before that.

 

The only thing I would enforce on a child would be an interest in sport, or at least an awareness of how important team-work is, baring in mind literally every job you'll ever do in life involves some level of communication and cooperation with another human being, and more than likely you'll be working for somebody else at some point during your life. As well as teaching values, I think playing sport is an easy and effective way of keeping yourself healthy in mind and body, it's a source of pride and confidence, and it's a great activity for people to make friends through shared comradery later in life, so it's a win-win situation really.

[Giordano]

So much hate for stay-home parents. My mother was a stay-home parent (still is :thumbsup: ) and me and my sister had no problems in entering school. I'm always told I didn't want to leave Preschool on the first day. :shades:

 

 

But usually, I would prefer stayhome parents for infancy until middle school; when middle school starts the kids are old enough to stay home by themselves.

[Maze]

Honestly, if I had a child, I'd let him view pornography when he's a teenager.

 

Even if you didn't condone it, he would still look it up anyway,

[Giordano]

Honestly, if I had a child, I'd let him view pornography when he's a teenager.

 

Even if you didn't condone it, he would still look it up anyway,

Its just one of those things that should stay private I think: something you neither allow or disallow.

[The Observer]

Honestly, if I had a child, I'd let him view pornography when he's a teenager.

 

Even if you didn't condone it, he would still look it up anyway,

 

Better yet, it's one of those things you just shouldn't mention at all.

[Ginger_Warrior]

If parents aren't going to teach their children about sex, and schools aren't filling in that void, it's not hard to see why so many teenagers view pornography.

[obfuscator]

Well that and it's so easily available.

[Ginger_Warrior]

I'm willing to do a survey asking whether people on here would support more Internet censorship but I'm guessing the results wouldn't condemn the widespread availability of graphic pornography.

 

End of the day, you teach your kids not take drugs. Why not teach about sex as well?

[obfuscator]

This forum is rather a poor sample, since the majority are mostly teen-aged boys.

 

But yeah, I mostly agree with you.

[The Observer]

Doesn't necessarily require misinformation about sex. There are sex-education programs in most schools, but they're seen because of the fact that they're teenaged boys. :P

[obfuscator]

Doesn't necessarily require misinformation about sex. There are sex-education programs in most schools, but they're seen because of the fact that they're teenaged boys. :P

Who's suggesting misinformation?

[The Observer]

What I meant is that whether or not you teach children about sex, they'll still watch it because of hormones. More or so teenage boys obviously.

 

And if you need to learn something, then there's most likely misinformation being present, so it would be implied because they never had a formal education in that subject that they would have to check it out themselves via internet pornography.

[obfuscator]

Most pornography is misinformation in itself...

[The Observer]

Most pornography is misinformation in itself...

 

Not saying it's truthful; in that example it would be the outlet meant, even though I don't necessarily agree with it.