Responsibility

[deloriagod]

Ok, so I get my license in a month and my dad keeps telling me I'm making bad decisions and if I don't shape up he won't let me drive my car. I don't really think I'm making bad decisions though. The last 'bad decision' I made was today..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No need to read this part if you don't want, I'm just venting..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Basically, I called my parents for a ride home from school. Me and my gf were going up to the main doors to wait for my parents and she relised that she'd forgotten her violin. So we went in to get it (it was basically on the other side of the building) and stopped to talk to a friend for a moment on the way. We got outside not too long later (maybe 5 minutes) and my mom was waiting and she was PISSED. Appearently we'd made her wait there for 15 minutes. Well, I'm used to my mom being mad over nothing, since she's got a stressful job. Then we got home and my dad yelled at me about how appearently I think my time is my valuable than his, and his time is actually worth a lot more than mine (unfortunatly for him, I see everyones' time as equal value). He got done yelling at me and I went back upstairs, unphased by his yelling. I look over at my gf is she looks like she's about to cry (she was sad because she said she got me in trouble.. I'm used to being in trouble). I calmed her down and I got to thinking, how am I not responsible? I work my a* off to keep my gf happy and when we're a few minutes late I'm suddenly irresponsible and don't deserve to drive my own car (my though, he can drive me around some more.. He hates driving me around). I dunno, I think my dad just wants me to be his little boy again and not grow up, not have a girl I devote all my time to, etc..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Skipped that? Start reading here ^_^

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So I'm wondering.. Do your parents think you're responsible? If they don't, why not? Have you actually done anything wrong or are they like my parents?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For Kayla

 

 

 

I had to vent this one differently than usual. But I didn't keep it bundled up inside ^_^

[jackalope14]

My parents fully trust me. I have never gotten in (big) trouble, or done anything to lose their trust. Once I got my liscense I could basically go anywhere with anyone as long as I told them where I was going so they could contact me if they needed to.

 

 

 

Hopefully I will never lose their trust because it makes life a lot easier when your parents trust you.

[insane]

My parents think I'm responsible. If I had to guess as to why, it started since I was young.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I realized that whenever I tried to go to bed later than my bedtime, I'd get punished and my bedtime would be moved earlier. So, I thought - I'll just keep going to bed on time and my bedtime will keep getting pushed later.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Victory was mine! I had a late bedtime and when it came time for me to drive, I had a late curfew. Before the end of highschool I had my curfew lifted and I could come and go as I pleased.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So yes, my 'rents think I'm responsible. Can't say the same for my brother though :P

[Viktorkrum77]

No, my parents think I'm incompetant. Which I supose, may be slight true.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am responsable and competant, the problem is, it is usually only things that I enjoy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But I am very responsable when it comes to planning ahead. I plan ahead for almost everything, if not physically do it, I at least still think about it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meh

[issy2]

My parents think I'm very responsible. I go out when I want, do what I want, they never worry. Well I live in quite a safe area and I'm very good on my bike, got my own phone, house keys, bike. I can pretty much do whatever I want.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So yeah, I s'pose my parents do think I'm responsible, especially my mum, who tends to be a bit more understanding than my dad about what it's like to be 12... #-o

[Arcticrunite]

One good thing about being an only child. Ride's dont matter really. My mothers never in a hurry to get anywhere and if i need a ride im always good. But it depends on the parents really. Some can be real sweet and care about children, others can be real... la plage's (if you know french, translate that, and you have a similar word).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By the way, it's a good thing you did comfort your other half otherwise that could have been a real scene. If your other half gets some time, tell her to talk to your parents to tell them what happened, but dont let her pin the blame on herself.

[assassin_696]

My parents trust me, I was a very chilled placcid child, so I didn't try anything. Nowadays, although i'm still responsible it means I could potentially get away with more :D

[knives669]

My parents pretty much think I'm responsible. Sometimes they have their moments, though. I've always talked to my dad about how I fear the coming responsiblities of life (such as driving, going to college, marrying, taking care of someone, stuff like that) and he's always told me to wait until I feel ready. I couldn't thank him enough for that. Eventually, once you get some more time, you can prove to your parents that you're responsible as well, and they don't need to worry about you. It just takes them some time to realize that you are growing up, and act accordingly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm glad you vented about this. ^_^ It's not good to keep everything bottled up inside you. ^_^

[Futurama]

christ, that is overreacting a bit...

 

 

 

my parents trust me enough to go anywhere really. long as i phone em if i'm stopping out or havn't seen them in a while :]

 

 

 

then again im far too chilled out and easy going IRL to bother causing a fuss :P

[Striker6]

Woah your parents seem a bit paranoid, perhaps you should sit down and explain to them your side of the story and how you feel about how they are acting lately.

[Giordano]

One good thing about being an only child. Ride's dont matter really. My mothers never in a hurry to get anywhere and if i need a ride im always good. But it depends on the parents really. Some can be real sweet and care about children, others can be real... la plage's (if you know french, translate that, and you have a similar word).

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yep, I know my parents would not let me go anywhere too far alone. Not because I'm irresponisble but because she doesn't want me to be alone. So she is sorta la plage.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But my friends parents let him go anywhere, hes a good kid and gets to go my house by himself. (like 2 miles away)

[moose585]

yeah my parents trust, well now they do. last summer me and my Best freind and my ex-girlfreind decided to sneak out and hang at 3 am in the morning. Unfortunatly for us when we took her home, after just messing around and hanging out in the streets, her parents were sitting on the couch waiting for her. She got in loads of trouble because of the sterotypical people they were, they assumed she was " hankie panky'ing it" so to speak and of course we wern't but regardless they phoned our parents and my "rents" got all " disspointed " with me. Now that sounds harmless, she got 2 months grounding and my parents lost trust in me, Big deal right?... Wrong, huge deal when i lose my parents trust, it means they don't let me go out with people they don't let me stay up late and they don't let me leave the house. In other words, i was owned. :-k

 

 

 

So now i try my hardest to remain in my parents little " trust circle" which means at my age, no getting drunk and no drugs, which im stayin clear off so im all set :thumbsup:

[Nadril]

Moose is right, once you lose your trust it's hard as hell to build back up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think there was a period when my parrents didn't trust me that much, but thankfully i've never really done anything *stupid*. The only reason I had lost their trust was from lying about grades back in 8th grade, ect. But after grades started going up and I started being more honest their trust grew in me more. :)

[deloriagod]

Moose is right, once you lose your trust it's hard as hell to build back up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think there was a period when my parrents didn't trust me that much, but thankfully i've never really done anything *stupid*. The only reason I had lost their trust was from lying about grades back in 8th grade, ect. But after grades started going up and I started being more honest their trust grew in me more. :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hard as hell is an understatement.. There's only 1 big thing I've lied to them about and they still don't know (and I don't plan on telling them nor do I plan on telling the story here). I haven't really done anything stupid enough to lose their trust. I took my gf up to my bedroom where we made out but they'd seen us kiss before so I don't see how that would be a problem. And I was a few minutes late, I've been late before and not lost their trust.. Ack, parents..

[stan18]

moose hit it on the nose. you already addressed why they were annoyed at you, but what did you do about it? you should have just apologized right there. You obviously have different views than those of your parents (everybody does...) but if you don't learn to acknowledge their side, you'll never gain their trust

[Peter]

My parents didn't really trust me until I got my Eagle Scout Rank in Boy Scouts. I suppose they thought that was a good mark of being responsible, which is why they said I couldn't get my driver's license until I made that achievement. They also were a little bit reluctant right after I got my license and would frequently call me and ask questions, which can be bothersome and even got me in a little bit of trouble once, but since I was being a designated driver for someone they let me off. I've never had any curfew to speak of, they just ask me when I'll be home and I'll tell them. If they contest, we negotiate a time and I'm usually home 15 minutes before they expect me just for brownie points. Ever since I turned 18 they never call me when I'm out and really don't care what I do since they know I'll do it responsibly and keep it legal. Having a good relationship with my parents made my young adult life so much easier, so for those who don't get along with your parents, start sucking up, things will be so much better.

[Adam007]

Personally I would have been pretty annoyed if I wasn't called to know that I'd be waiting 15 minutes in the car. I'm sure you guys probably walked pretty slow, stopping to talk to people and all that. In your parents position I would see that as wasting your Mom's time. If they were yelling and all, that would be an overreaction, but I can see why they'd be annoyed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyways, my parents are kind of like that. They're always pointing out my irresponsibility over small things, but I think they think overall I'm adequately responsible.

[deloriagod]

you should have just apologized right there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Should have. But I'm not going to apologize for making them wait a few minutes.. They've been 20+ minutes late for picking me up from school in the winter so I had to walk home. They apologies always seem so sarcastic and they forget to pick me up because they 'lost track of time at the store' or 'got stuck in traffic at 3:00'. I'm rarely late for anythiing, but the few times I am they completely overreact..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Personally I would have been pretty annoyed if I wasn't called to know that I'd be waiting 15 minutes in the car. I'm sure you guys probably walked pretty slow, stopping to talk to people and all that. In your parents position I would see that as wasting your Mom's time. If they were yelling and all, that would be an overreaction, but I can see why they'd be annoyed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We were actually only about 5 minutes late.. I've noticed when you're mad/annoyed, 5 minutes seems like 15.. I can understand why they were annoyed but did they really need to yell at me and almost make my gf cry!?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Having a good relationship with my parents made my young adult life so much easier, so for those who don't get along with your parents, start sucking up, things will be so much better.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I had a great relationship with my parents until I turned 16, got a gf, and started spending all my time with her + friends. They liked it better when I was young and spent a lot of time with them, and they don't seem to like me growing up and having a life of my own..

[Viv]

they trust me sort of...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

but they don't trust me to leave for school on time in the morning.

[issy2]

 

One good thing about being an only child. Ride's dont matter really. My mothers never in a hurry to get anywhere and if i need a ride im always good. But it depends on the parents really. Some can be real sweet and care about children, others can be real... la plage's (if you know french, translate that, and you have a similar word).

 

 

 

 

 

 

But my friends parents let him go anywhere, hes a good kid and gets to go my house by himself. (like 2 miles away)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don't take this the wrong way - how old are you and yourr friend?

[GoingUnder]

My parents dont trust me that much. probably because i've done stuff thats bad. my mom dont let me go to my cousis house in london by myself because she always thinks that we are gonna be messing around [[going out at night]], which we normally do but under private circumstances. My mum and dad says it bad too laugh . me and my sister are real tight and when we are messing around in the living room and end up having a lughing fit .. they shout at us :-s whats so wrong with laughing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and after a little incident concerning school, they didnt trust me one bit but now-a-days they are almost to their usual self... ish. except they wont leave me in the house alone ..

[kelem_ryu]

It seems your parents are just terribly unrelaxed. That's NOt your fault. Try to see why they are so stressful and (I know it sounds corny) give them some love. For example when your mother is angry because she had to wait, that just indicates that she is under stress, no human being would mind waiting a little if he/she is completely relaxed. So counter this stressfullness with your own calmness, without being arrogant. All that is not as easy as it might sound, but it's the way to be (at least for me).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Point is that (it seems) your parents are putting you under pressure with the stress they have. This should make you angry at first, but it doesn't help anyone if you get angry with them. Apparently they suffer so they deserve your sympathy.