Solidus_77

Well meet and pick up girls basically follows the same model, just the ending is different. First of all you mentin staying sober. That's good, not only girls prefer to talk to someone sober but it won't affect your concentration. Although generally I'll recommend one glass just to get over any inhibitions, no glasses is fine as well. You approach them saying "Hi" (and don't forget to mention how glad you are to be at this party : ). If these are girls you know then it should be easier. You should also find it easier to approach at parties than at the mall since it's very acceptable to meet people at parties and also if there are more familiar faces. Overall I'd say don't focus on the outcome when you're talking. Don't worry about what happens afterwards or where the conversation leads, just enjoy the conversation. That goes for the whole "party mood" too. If you try and plan out what you're going to do, you don't have fun but if you just have fun in the moment, you'll have fun. Don't worry about what you're talking about, don't worry about what happens next, don't worry about anything (and if your intentions arn't to "pick up" then this should be easier). Just focus on meeting as many people a possible. Oh and don't worry about whatever your friend does.

Perhaps I should not hold back on the manliness then :lol: . Jk, thanks but believe me I have still so much to learn.

Yeah, All girls/women are emotional beings to a certain extent. And I demand that no cure be made! They can be moody but communicating with them on an emotional level is such a delight :

If I remember correctly, the enemies are harder to kill, you have less ammo, you get hit harder, and the overall difficulty of the missions is increased. I almost forgot how tough that battle with Krew was on Hero Mode :shock: Close. Enemies all remove two life bars (so the ones that use to remove one now remove two) and have twice as much heath and you start with all weapon modes. Now here's the flip side that can potentially turn it into (mostly) a cakewalk: You get Unlimited ammo, dark eco and health for, like 15, 20, 35 orbs respecively AND metal heads re-drop skull gems. So basically you can even get all dark jak powers and unlimited stuff very early on. Now one could easily assume that the game is easy if you chose to use those. However remember that annoying as hell mission with the turret where you gun down 42 enemies as they appeared? Well now they all have twice as much health making it living hell! The only way I managed to do it after god knows how many tries is to anticipate where they come from and shoot one and make sure and shoot enemies just as were about to shoot you. Very hard to keep up though and at times it's VERY hard not to get hit.

Serious, after seeing some of your posts i kinda thought you probaly weren't even 13 yet :shock: . Hey go easy, sometimes it takes a little longer for kids to mature. :-w He'll join the real world someday. Yeah, he sure doesn't look like a product of the real world :lol:

Go through the thread and you'll see that there are plenty of hopeless romantics all believing in the 1 sacred wife, or somehow believe that they are only going to get it on with one person over the entire course of their life, if that's not the case for people who said "one" then your question is confusing. Some believe it's ok to have 1 wife at a time, thus many over the course of a lifetime. Some believe in many girlfriends and then just one wife. Some believe in multiple long-term relationships (NOT necessarily wives but girlfriends) at the same time. Some see multiple relationships, one at a time, but many over the course of their life.

Holy mother of christ those were some pretty awesome shapes :shock:

Could it be that having sex with somone doesn't make you completely linked to that person in every way? Depends on a lot of variables. One of them, is how good the guy is around women.

Well you're in for a surprise then, I agree with him completely. If you're honest about it and everyone is agreeing to it and you're not hurting anyone, then there's nothing wrong with it. If you believe you'll always spend your life with the same girlfriend and eventually get married to her then so be it. But seriously what are the odds that you meet the perfect girl on the first shot? What if she cheats on you, or worse? What if you happen to meet a better girl later on?

I see, looks like you do know the right way to do it. Basically that's exactly it, just talk to her and eventually ask her out. Although one tip, I found that "I'm going to do xyz, wanna come along" has a better rate of success than "do you wanna go out sometime?". That way you're being more specific, and you're not going out of your way to do her a favor. Hey I'm sorry for what happened a few days ago (I read about it but didn't want to mention it here) but you're really taking the right attitude with this stuff. Positive thinking, hoping to improve. That's perfect and I'm sure you'll get an even better girlfriend next time. If you need any help just ask; approach and talking to girls is my specialty :

Well personally I'd rather be Mr Lady's man.

That, my friend, is some wishfull thinking from the part of the unpopular, introverted and socially inadequate and often said when trying to give an unsuccessfull friend a reassuring pat on the back. However, it doesn't change the fact that "Mr. Popular" out there is having the time of his life by being social whilst you're sitting around jealous of his success (so naturally you try to convince yourself that his success somehow isn't worth it even though it clearly is). FYI: Girls aren't just doing it for sex, they're doing it because they're attracted to him and the qualities that he has. Yeah, maybe I took it a bit far there. I was going on one of the stereotypes which is basically... good looking, stupid, but all the girls still love him. But yeah, you're right. Hate "Mr. Popular" all you like, but in the end, he's just being himself. Its not that he's acting like that to get into their underwear, he's just going out and being himself. Exactly! And once you get to know Mr. Popular, you can see just what girls like about him.

Returned3, the mere fact that you're obsessing over this one girl is already putting you at a huge dissadvantage. Oh and the whole "I'm-afraid-to-approach-her-because-the-result-might-be-embarrassing" is exactly what makes it hard to approach her. As I've explained many times before, you're better off finding some other girl, but if you insist on getting this girl's number then go up and talk to her and see how it goes from there. At some point when the conversation is going well, ask for her number. If she rejects you then you move on because the sooner you get over this obsession, the better off you will be. Oh yeah and sworddude is right, don't do the whole telling a friend to tell her. It shows no no balls it's a miracle it even worked for IeatWindex.

Psst. You fell right into that troll's trap :wall: Anyway, pleeeease don't tell me they're trying to find some connection between "suicide" and "video game". It's so exasperating when the media try and throw in this stupid connection.

Goddess, my intention is to help others but right now I feel Riku and I are getting somewhere here, this isn't a mere bragging contest we've got some understanding going on. Riku, you know I think you should seek out people, you might just be missing out. Well guess who play sports and stuff probably won't. But maybe other people will. Or maybe you should spend time trying to see what other people do for fun instead of focusing on your interests? Don't underestimate them. I know a few girls who like to play halo 3. One who has a wii (actually make that several). Another girl lent me some games too. Even a girl who was the sportiest in the school confessed to me that she prefers playing video games to going out clubbing. Now what's interesting about each of these girls is that I met them after I decided to become open and social and even whilst I saw them everyday before when I was more introverted, I never knew that they liked video games. All that to say you'd be surpried what people are interested in and I think you should go meet people. In fact I'm willing to bet that there's a girl who plays video games. They seem to be devoted to sports. As are those in my school. But we still talk about plenty of stuff, like our favorite TV shows, how badly they got drunk last weekend. In fact the sportiest guys at my school (besides the girl I mentioned before) frequently play Halo tournaments at each other's houses and Warcraft III. You see my social life only changed after I got to see what people got to do outside of school. Trust me, people can act really different. I know one girl who can get really stuck up and gets me frustrated when all I want to do is help her. But outside of school she's a great fun to be around and honestly I'm glad to have met her. People from higher grades shoudn't be off your list either. I remember this guy who was a senior (I was a junior) who would ride the train with me every morning and afternoon. We talked nearly the entire time! He was a great guy to be around and I'm glad I met him. My sister also would totally dissagree with you there, she's made friends with almost everyone in the grade above her! If you don't see them often, make the effort. Riku! there are so many people that you could meet, do as you please, but I hope that you consider going out of your way to meet these people. Throughout this year, my only regret is that I hadn't met these people (or at least seen who they really were) sooner. and the people who cant afford games and i have barely anyone to play with. that basically why i seclude myself from the others

Random activities? Let's see. The first day of the camp is a great moment to break the ice. There's a "game" (more of an introduction) where we all sit in a circle and pass a ball around. Each person who catches it says their name and an interesting fact about themself. That, or do team relay races. I'll vouch for CTF though, that's loads of fun. If you're having a hard time thinking of an activity, why don't you ask the kids in the group? I'm sure they're full of ideas.

You just don't get it do you? Do you know what it's like to be socially excluded? Do you know what it's like to sit at home all night with a pain deep inside you? Do you know what it's like to say "Hi" to a new person only to hear insults and hurtfull comments in return? Oh right, the old "Hey, your problem isn't that bad, take a look at [insert extreme example], now they had a tough time". True, the discrimination they faced was something I could never relate to. The fact that you are trying to brush my problem off as not a big deal, however, is insulting. You see, there were times in early teen years were spent completely alone. Not a single friend. The only person to stand by me was my pet animal (who eventually died). The warm welcomes that I felt from some people eventually turned to hate as they (as well as many others) rallied against me. If I was ever to speak up in class I was guarenteed to hear something from another student who knew exactly how to piss me off. Any skill that I had was completely ignored, kids would constently torment me to remind me that I had no friends to stand by, some would get physical, others would laugh at my attempts to fit in and socialize. Some people had enough nerve to act friendly but backstab me in a time of need. Even whenever I left a certain social environment the people in there would cheer and celebrate the fact that I was gone. Any new friends I tried to meet would eventually say "I really made a misake to be around him". There were some true friends along the way, but many times they weren't there. And whenever I tried to enter a new social environment the whole thing would begin all over again. Oh boy did I feel sad about all this, some nights I would sit in bed and wonder if I was going to be like this for the rest of my life wherever I went and dreaded the next day. These are the kinds of painfull feelings, I tried ignoring them, but they stayed bottled up inside me only to erupt later and make matters even worse. Sometimes even when I tried talking to the adults they seemed to try and remind me that this was all my fault somehow (which was often true, but didn't help solve the problem) or worse, they would side with the other kids. Most of what I did was my own fault, my own impusiveness or social ignorance yet still the concequences were terrible. When I eventually told on those two guys I mentioned earlier, this was 3 years ago, after changing schools I started to see the same pattern emerge. Telling the teacher was sort of a desperate attempt to try and avoid from having this all happen again, which ended up only making things worse and sure enough, I was back to the social exclusion. Luckily it wasn't as bad, but it hurt now as I felt despair: it was happening this time as well, just when I thought that things would tak a turn for the better. Luckily over the course of the year things did start to improve and I started to get along with people much better and in this past year I not only became socially accepted, but people genuinely enjoyed being around me. After being nearly consumed by loneliness I was able to emerge as someone who's social and even a confident guy who people look up to. Being social is truely a wonderful experience and I am so glad that I was able to know what it feels like to be accepted, to have friends and smiling faces anywhere I turn. To know that I can finally go to sleep happy, knowing that tomorrow I've got all kinds of people to talk to. Now I see how you're just trying to ratonalize my situation and find a practical solution. And it's true, why should I feel anything about people disliking me who I never talked to anyways? It doesn't make any logical sense. But trust me, those feelings were there and they were powerfull. You did well to ignore them before it could become a problem and it seems you were able to avoid social exclusion. But keep in mind that you do not know what it's like to go through feeling sad, lonely and rejected from everyone. Edit: thanks ember : [/hide] who said that your entire social life had to be in this hellhole of a school you went to? my social life is entirely based off of friends from the internet, ADULTS that play Pokemon, Magic: the gathering, and Yu-Gi-Oh, my group of 5 friends? every day before and after school we huddle around and play our DS's!!! you think i don't know what its like to be shunned? well let me tell you i do, i just found a way around that, i found a group that accepts me for what i love to do, i found a group of friends who love to sit around and play games all day, and you know how i did it? i ignored everyone who hurled insults at me, kicked me in the shins, knocked my DS to the ground. I'm sorry but feeling sorry for yourself never helps. @ember: tell me how its bull? i ask you! WHAT could they be possibly saying that hurts so badly that you cant bear to ignore it? EDIT: sorry if im appear as if im yelling im really not trying to :oops: In case you haven't noticed (I stated it in my previous post be whatever) I've gotten over all of these things a while ago. My life is anything but the hellhole it use to be. It didn't have to become a hellhole, but nevertheless it did. And not just once but EVERY SINGLE social environment that I went through I faced the same exclusion. Of course now I could change everything and had it been someone different they could have probably prevented the exclusion from happening in the first place. But none of that happened, I didn't know how to interact with people and I was forced to deal with my exclusion. However, I did misjudge you, I thought you were more socially accepted. But it seems your group of 5 people is abit excluded. Still, that's not nearly as bad as having NOBODY to turn to. The only person who I truely had a bond with was my pet animal. I can't believe you're willing to seclude yourself from all the other kids just to be with these 5 friends, relying on only a few friends is something that I never understand and honestly hope I never have to go through. It's much better to be able to be friends with these people who were bullies (as well as my older friends) instead of having to ignore them all the time. I don't have to ignore the suffering because there is no suffering. Oh and let's get one thing straight: I don't feel sorry for myself. Even if it was painfull to endure, I tried everything I could to change my situation, and it worked! My story is not about sadness and pain. It's about determination to keep trying and eventually triumphing over my greatest challenge. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, I was merely trying to show you just how it felt to be in my shoes. If anything, I wish for people to feel hope that even if everyone seems against you and you see yourself as the biggest introverted geek, you can become a social and popular person.

You just don't get it do you? Do you know what it's like to be socially excluded? Do you know what it's like to sit at home all night with a pain deep inside you? Do you know what it's like to say "Hi" to a new person only to hear insults and hurtfull comments in return? Oh right, the old "Hey, your problem isn't that bad, take a look at [insert extreme example], now they had a tough time". True, the discrimination they faced was something I could never relate to. The fact that you are trying to brush my problem off as not a big deal, however, is insulting. You see, there were times in early teen years were spent completely alone. Not a single friend. The only person to stand by me was my pet animal (who eventually died). The warm welcomes that I felt from some people eventually turned to hate as they (as well as many others) rallied against me. If I was ever to speak up in class I was guarenteed to hear something from another student who knew exactly how to piss me off. Any skill that I had was completely ignored, kids would constently torment me to remind me that I had no friends to stand by, some would get physical, others would laugh at my attempts to fit in and socialize. Some people had enough nerve to act friendly but backstab me in a time of need. Even whenever I left a certain social environment the people in there would cheer and celebrate the fact that I was gone. Any new friends I tried to meet would eventually say "I really made a misake to be around him". There were some true friends along the way, but many times they weren't there. And whenever I tried to enter a new social environment the whole thing would begin all over again. Oh boy did I feel sad about all this, some nights I would sit in bed and wonder if I was going to be like this for the rest of my life wherever I went and dreaded the next day. These are the kinds of painfull feelings, I tried ignoring them, but they stayed bottled up inside me only to erupt later and make matters even worse. Sometimes even when I tried talking to the adults they seemed to try and remind me that this was all my fault somehow (which was often true, but didn't help solve the problem) or worse, they would side with the other kids. Most of what I did was my own fault, my own impusiveness or social ignorance yet still the concequences were terrible. When I eventually told on those two guys I mentioned earlier, this was 3 years ago, after changing schools I started to see the same pattern emerge. Telling the teacher was sort of a desperate attempt to try and avoid from having this all happen again, which ended up only making things worse and sure enough, I was back to the social exclusion. Luckily it wasn't as bad, but it hurt now as I felt despair: it was happening this time as well, just when I thought that things would tak a turn for the better. Luckily over the course of the year things did start to improve and I started to get along with people much better and in this past year I not only became socially accepted, but people genuinely enjoyed being around me. After being nearly consumed by loneliness I was able to emerge as someone who's social and even a confident guy who people look up to. Being social is truely a wonderful experience and I am so glad that I was able to know what it feels like to be accepted, to have friends and smiling faces anywhere I turn. To know that I can finally go to sleep happy, knowing that tomorrow I've got all kinds of people to talk to. Now I see how you're just trying to ratonalize my situation and find a practical solution. And it's true, why should I feel anything about people disliking me who I never talked to anyways? It doesn't make any logical sense. But trust me, those feelings were there and they were powerfull. You did well to ignore them before it could become a problem and it seems you were able to avoid social exclusion. But keep in mind that you do not know what it's like to go through feeling sad, lonely and rejected from everyone. Edit: thanks ember :

Anyone who's willing to side with the bully. In this case, there were only two friends who were truely on my side. One of which who didn't want to speak out for fear of being excluded (and don't you dare say he's not worthy of being my friend! He's helped me in many ways), the other was dissapointed in how I resorted to telling the teacher. EVERYONE ELSE was against me on this one, people who I considered "new friends" who were friendly before but never wanted to be around me after, people who previously I didn't have any contact with, and people who were already against me. It's depressing isn't it? Having people who rarely talk to suddenly act cold and distant towards you. Any activity that involves social interaction you suddenly feel left out of. It didn't last long for many (thankfully) but it was still damn painfull, lonely etc... Obviously you NEVER want to be in the situation I was in.

Well you've sufficiently convinced me. It can work in the correct circumstances. That's all it was, really. Although it had a greater impact on me because it felt like the same problem over and over again. Despite what the adults adviced (and they say that even during verbal abuse you should see them), I shouldn't have gone to them for help. I should have ignored it, laughed about it, not been insecure about it. Basically not attempted to counter it which brought about my undoing. ^^ Here's some really really good activities/information if you're interested: cci.health.wa.gov.au Coming from somebody who had to overcome social anxiety herself... Some of the activities that helped came from the website above. What did you do to overcome it? I got it too but only around strangers. Coming from someone who also had to overcome social anxiety I can say that strangers are generally the hardest. It really depends on the situation (if you're approaching them with a social justification like asking for directions), the location (if you are comfortable in the environment, like it's easier for me in a club than on the street) and how the person acts (if the person is interacting with strangers it's easier). Use these factors to your advantage. Find situations, environments in which you feel comfortable or even watch how the person acts in order to approach them. I can't quite describe how I got over social anxiety, but I can say that it all boils down to a willingness to learn. If you are determined enough, you'll find the right tools and you'll make it happen. Oh yeah, and a lot of help and encouragement from friends. It's not simply losing your social status which is at stake. Given the right environment, you could be pretty much socially excluded by everyone and since you've never had bullies get to you, can you really know how that feels? See? The real problem is not social status, it's having everyone exclude you. Now, "I don't care what people tell me" is one thing, and not only is it something I am in favor of, but it prevents you from getting involved with bullies in the first place. But "I don't care if every person in my social environment is against me" is something entirely different, and from my experience that attitude gets you nowhere. Having the entire social environment against you is never a good thing.

Only when you are around. I've already explained why resorting to violence is a bad idea even if the they are doing it with intent to harm someone. Wow! Honestly that's the first time that solution has actually worked. I tried that approach after being harrassed by two guys all evening whilst out at a school trip. They just would not stop with the insults (just after I thought that everything was going well too). I remembered how the teachers told me that if I was ever in this situation I should tell someone about it. So then I did. First thing in the morning I told the councelor about it and they had a talk with these two kids (which basically ended in them saying they weren't serious about it, acting sorry that it happened). That lasted for about 1 hour, then they were at it again, and this time I had half the kids there comming up to me asking why I told on him. The rest of the trip was very bitter. Nobody would talk to me, nobody would even want to be around me. Everyone (even my friends) felt betrayed and dissapointed that I told someone. I felt rejected by the whole group after that. Worst decision ever. Oh well, at least the trip ended well when most of us had some fun during the last evening sneaking out (originally they had planned on excluding me from it but I was thankfully able to convince them). It did work, for a bit of time after that the guys left me alone but I did pay a huge price for it, and they were still as bitter to me as ever (just not aggressive). Eventually as time passed we got over these things and I met one of the guys again just recently who was actually glad to see me. But that change occured over time, as I gained a better understanding of social interactions. Talking to the teachers about my situation did NOT help. I should have ignored him. That's why I was so strongly against telling the adults. However my situation was different and I can see how it was justified for you (and isn't it awesome how bullies can eventually become friends?). Perhaps the rule should be "only tell the teachers if you're in physical danger" Since yours was pretty extreme. What do you think? You're lucky you happened to get people who fight fair. I tried to prove myself to people who harrassed me before by using my skills in a particular field. They simply refused to acknowlege my skills, even though they knew they could do no better. Refused my challenges over trivial details (tried to provoke them into agreeing but that didn't work as they had everyone on their side). And once I made a slight slip-up or performed slightly less than perfectly, they would use it to make fun of me completely. That's why, if they want to make fun of you, they will make fun of you reguardless of circumstances. I agree, this not only helps reverse the situation but can help prevent missunderstandings (like if a guy makes a joke and the other guy gets defensive about it over nothing when the first guy only ment it as a joke).

ha, so this description: Was really about yourself. :lol: No sorry, it's still just not going to work. Staying as a "bodyguard" until the person grows up? That could take years! And still has the two problems I mentioned before. There are other ways to thelp others, like talking the person out of it, or finding out why he keeps abusing him. Violence and deterrence isn't going to work.

Im talking about someone who will REALLY straighten them out. Not just woop up on them, make them fear for their LIFE. That still doesn't change the fact that once your "personal bodyguard" is gone you'll be seen as vulnerable and the guy will most likely be pissed too, so he'll have even more desire to be physical. Manipulating by fear only works if that fear is present at all times. AND ALSO the guy who you're counting on is putting himself at great risk of getting in trouble. You say this worked for you, how? how are you sure that this guy isn't just plotting his revenge? I must say I'm a little worried for your sake now.

That won't work. The other student risks getting in trouble and the bullies can just attack when he's not around. Like I said, you can't be protected from their attacks (verbal or otherwise) at all times.

Woah, carefull there. She's not a goddess, she's on the same level as you. Keep putting her on a pedestal and you might lose her.