Story time, ladies and gentlemen. It's a fairly good one. Some of you may recall that quite some time back, I wasn't a very social guy and had absolutely 0 luck with the ladies. Somehow, quite inexplicably, actually, I somewhat recently stepped out of the shell. I realized that the only thing holding me back was myself, and even started talking to girls. Not a whole lot, mind you, but some-enough, really. With that, I only ever tried to start anything with one girl, but she did not return my sentiments. I took it pretty well, though, and it didn't really faze my confidence, but this isn't about her. It's about a girl before, yet after her. I have to step back a moment, back the 7th grade of all places. This is where I first met the girl that is to be the subject of this tale of intrigue and mystery. She was in my science class, a place where I pretty quickly made my reputation as "the smart guy" and made an impression on just about everyone there, including her. She also rode my bus and, to this very day, lives but two blocks away down the street. We didn't talk a whole lot back then-the occasional word, but not much else--and she was embroiled in some pretty heavy drug [cabbage]. In fact, for my first year or so of high school I thought she was dead until she appeared in my sophmore gym class, all cleaned up by this time. I don't really remember most of that year for some reason, but she did still ride my bus, though sitting more towards the back while I opted for the more strategically oriented front portion. Then she turned up again this past year in my senior english class, again still riding the same bus as well. Now, for most of the time I had known her I didn't think too much of her, especially the rather dark first impressions I had of her, where I would overhear stories of ambulances and ODs and whatnot. But now she had cleaned herself up and I had done my own sort of growth and started feeling otherwise. "Surely though", I thought, "she can't have remembered who I am after all the time we've been out of contact!" Wrong, Mr. Lenin, very wrong. At some point very early on in the year the class was in the computer lab and by random chance we were seated at adjacent computers. I don't really think much of it, ever the focused pupil, but she did something that rather astounded me: she struck up comversation. Turns out she did remember me from way back when, even that I did in fact live right up the street. I forget the rest of the details, but she did mention that she was signing up for the ASVAB. As I was doing the same, we discussed that, what branch of service, etc. and ended class with a sort of "See you in November" (for the test). Nothing much came of that; although we did see each other then, it wasn't exactly a time to talk and at some point 'round December she dropped the class or switched out or something. Then it happened. She started sitting up closer on the bus, and several times was in the very next seat over. But seeing as this was a month or so before my own revolutionary idea, I couldn't quite get up the nerve to speak to her. By the time I had, she had stopped riding the bus, and so had I, neccessity dictating that I drive to school most days. And so it was that she dropped nearly entirely from my sight. I still saw her some days at lunch, but she was with her people and I with mine, and I had other feminine interests (one in particular, described at the beginning) and didn't make contact again. Snap back to the present, to around last Wednesday. Having fully put all the other girls that eluded me behind me, I happened to catch sight of my lady during Graduation practice, and that's when it hit me. We could work. She was always sort of in the very back of my mind, but with graduation approaching, what better time could there be? Graduation day, however, it became immediately apparant that I as not going to find her in the massive crowd of people and so lost my chance. Now I'm just wondering, "how can I try this out?" While, yes, she does live just a few blocks away, and yes, she does know who I am, but what I'm lacking is a means to a foothold. I don't suppose I could very well, after some months of absence, just knock on her door and say, "what's up?", and on occassions when I walk past that area I never see anyone on the whole street out of their houses. Save for a chance encounter somewhere, which would have pretty much the same effect for any other stranger I may encounter, I have no way to connect to her. Cruel fate, indeed. Add onto that the doubt, the quesion of "do I really want her, or just something, anything at all, and she would just be convenient?" Hell, I don't know too much about her, besides that she's one of those literature, potentially artsy people. Maybe I just saw her in that crowd once and thought I just had to do something with someone and she was in view. In summary: I've known this girl on-and-off over the course of six years and have lived practically next door to her, and now that I can finally ask her out, I have no means to do so without being really creepy (which doesn't help as I'm actually somewhat creepy in person simply by nature. Hence my perfect no-hitter thus far).
