Hmph.. I'd like to complain about this rant generator.. Rant Generator, allow me to introduce myself. I'm one of the victims of your disaffected philippics. As a note of explanation for other readers of this letter: Like fire, Rant Generator is a dangerous servant and a fearful master. And that's why I feel compelled to say something about pertinacious buffoons. I'm no expert, but it seems to me that if a cogent, logical argument entered Rant Generator's brain, no doubt a concussion would result. It seems clear that Rant Generator likes to launch into nonsensical non sequiturs. But we ought to look at the matter in a broader framework before we draw final conclusions on the subject: We see that it would be wrong to imply that Rant Generator is involved in some kind of conspiracy to skewer me over a pit barbecue. It would be wrong because its viewpoints are far beyond the conspiracy stage. Not only that, but the pressures and stresses that its attendants undergo lead them to create some irrational, pseudo-psychological profile of me to discredit my opinions. That's something you won't find in your local newspaper because it's the news that just doesn't fit. I feel that writing this letter is like celestial navigation. Before directional instruments were invented, sailors navigated the seas by fixing their compass on the North Star. But it's easy enough to hate Rant Generator any day of the week on general principles. But now I'll tell you about some very specific things that Rant Generator is up to, things that ought to make a real Rant Generator-hater out of you. First off, if one dares to criticize even a single tenet of its prognoses, one is promptly condemned as postmodernist, bookish, crazy, or whatever epithet it deems most appropriate, usually without much explanation. I have a tendency to report the more sensational things that Rant Generator is up to, the more shocking things, things like how it wants to use lethal violence as a source of humor. And I realize the difficulty that the average person has in coming to grips with that, but I'm not a psychiatrist. Sometimes, though, I wish I were, so that I could better understand what makes organizations like it want to lash out at everyone and everything in sight. Rant Generator has convinced a lot of people that irrationalism is a noble goal. One must pause in admiration at this triumph of media manipulation. At the same time, Rant Generator knows how to lie. It's too bad it doesn't yet understand the ramifications of lying. Did Rant Generator cancel its plans to write off whole sections of society because it had a change of heart, or is it continuing the same battle on another front? It would appear to be the latter. Rant Generator hates people who have huge supplies of the things it lacks. What it lacks the most is common sense, which underlies my point that if the human race is to survive on this planet, we will have to address the real issues faced by mankind. The plethora of obfuscating, multisyllabic phrases in Rant Generator's publications serves only to accentuate the obscurity of its prose, the point being that it will do everything in its power to provide cover for a doctrinaire agenda. No wonder corruption is endemic to our society; when Rant Generator tells us that the health effects of secondhand smoke are negligible, it somehow fails to mention that innocent children have been brainwashed by its totalitarianism-prone magic-bullet explanations. It fails to mention that unprincipled bludgers, almost by definition, waste natural resources. And it fails to mention that I am honestly weary of listening to it descant on the glories of masochism. So what's the connection between that and its platitudes? The connection is that the law is not just a moral stance. It is the consensus of society on our minimum standards of behavior. Rant Generator pompously claims that taxpayers are a magic purse that never runs out of gold. That sort of nonsense impresses many people, unfortunately. A few days ago, Rant Generator actually admitted that it wants to obstruct various important things. Can you believe that? Perhaps Rant Generator forgot to take its antipsychotics that day. An additional clue is that almost every day, it outreaches itself in setting new records for arrogance, deceit, and greed. It's really breathtaking to watch it. I myself will never give up. I will never stop trying. And I will use every avenue possible to create a world in which tribalism, fogyism, and particularism are all but forgotten. Let's consider for a moment, though, that maybe by opting for the easy, short-term, feel-good path, Rant Generator will eviscerate freedom of speech and sexual privacy rights quicker than you can double-check the spelling of "intercommunicability". Then doesn't it follow that I haven't the foggiest idea why it wants to spam the Internet with unsolicited parasitic e-mail? Rant Generator knows that performing an occasional act of charity will make some people forgive -- or at least overlook -- all of its villainous excesses. My take on the matter is that it had previously claimed that it had no intention to sensationalize all of the issues. Of course, shortly thereafter, that's exactly what it did. Next, it denied that it would confuse, disorient, and disunify. We all know what happened then. Now, Rant Generator would have us believe it'd never ever support international crime while purporting to oppose it. Will it? Go figure. My view is that if I want to adopt a new world-view, that should be my prerogative. I don't need Rant Generator forcing me to. The only way that we can fight Rant Generator, the only way we can beat it, is to fight scurrility and slander. This applies first and foremost to a junta under whose phlegmatic brand of academicism the whole of honest humanity is suffering: Rant Generator's army of scurrilous creeps. Rant Generator should clarify its point so people like you and me can tell what the heck it's talking about. Without clarification, Rant Generator's newsgroup postings sound lofty and include some emotionally charged words but don't really seem to make any sense. Faced by such despicable perfidy and the frustration of not being able to respond to the same audiences as Rant Generator has had, I, not being one of the many moonstruck, fatuitous rakes of this world, must unquestionably force Rant Generator into deserved bankruptcy. Now that that's cleared up, I'll continue with what I was saying before, that when I was a child, my clergyman told me, "This is a fine example of what I've been talking about." If you think about it you'll see his point. Rant Generator insists that it is a model organization. In the long run, however, it's only fooling itself. Rant Generator would be better off if it just admitted to itself that it does not tolerate any view that differs from its own. Rather, Rant Generator discredits and discards those people who contradict it along with the ideas that they represent. And what about Rant Generator's accomplices? They, like Rant Generator, are prodigal monomaniacs. Rant Generator's proxies will carry the product of its work into the future, even after Rant Generator itself is gone. The same holds true for the worst types of malodorous caitiffs there are. Anyone who takes even a cursory glance at this letter will quickly discover that Rant Generator sometimes has trouble convincing people that without its superior guidance, we will go nowhere. When it has such trouble, it usually trots out a few ultra-stubborn calumniators to constate authoritatively that Rant Generator has the mandate of Heaven to divert our attention from serious issues. Whether or not that trick of its works, it's still the case that Rant Generator can't attack my ideas, so it attacks me. It could be worse, I suppose. It could compose paeans to heathenism. On balance, even pudibund parvenus are ashamed of being associated with Rant Generator's abominable reasoning and deplorable hastily mounted campaigns. Still, if Rant Generator had lived the short, sickly, miserable life of a chattel serf in the ages "before technocracy" it wouldn't be so keen to grant a free ride to the undeserving. Maybe it'd even begin to realize that there will be public outrage if it tries to substitute breast-beating and schwarmerei for action and honest debate. Regular readers of my letters probably take that for granted, but if I am to bear witness to the plain, unvarnished truth, I must explain to the population at large that its pestiferous tactics are part of the workforce training agenda for the global planned economy. Now, I could go off on that point alone, but all of the bad things that are currently going on are a symptom of its irritable, unstable complaints. They are not a cause; they are an effect. Believe it or not, I really want to believe that Rant Generator is a decent, honest organization. Unfortunately, as is often the case, what I want to believe proves to be fantasy. The truth is that Rant Generator says that it can convince criminals to fill out an application form before committing a crime. What it means by this, of course, is that it wants free reign to repeat the mistakes of the past. Rant Generator has been doing "in-depth research" (whatever it thinks that means) to prove that the purpose of life is self-gratification. I should mention that I've been doing some research of my own. So far, I've "discovered" that Rant Generator's idea of clueless, sinister mysticism is no political belief. It is a fierce and burning gospel of hatred and intolerance, of murder and destruction, and the unloosing of a profligate blood-lust. It is, in every literal sense, a predatory and pagan religion that incites its worshippers to an inhumane frenzy and then prompts them to topple society. I must ask that Rant Generator's bedfellows investigate Rant Generator's condescending principles, ideals, and objectives. I know they'll never do that, so here's an alternate proposal: They should, at the very least, back off and quit trying to take us over the edge of the abyss of Trotskyism. You know what I mean? Would Rant Generator like it if I were dim-witted and blathering, too? I don't think so. In closing this letter, let me point out that I would be remiss if I didn't remind you that Rant Generator has made a big mistake. A big a* cookie to anyone who actually took the time to read that.. And summarize it for me :P