"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Zierro]

Confidence is the first step to getting a girlfriend. If someone like me can do it, then anyone can. :lol:

 

 

 

Correction. If someone like ME can do it, then anyone can. :lol:

 

Au contraire, if I can girlfriend, anyone here can. Especially when I did, I wasn't social at all, and didn't get along with people.

 

Well hold on, now. Are we talking about having any girlfriend or a well-liked girlfriend? Cuz anybody can get awkward, ugly Betty to be their girlfriend, but not adorable, pretty Bethany.

 

 

 

I'm very happy with my relationship. We bond very well, she is attractive, we have fun debates, and she's overall one of my favorite people in the world (which is saying a lot since I hate most people). Whether you believe a random internet stranger or not is totally up to you though.

 

 

 

Abc: Before trying to get a girlfriend, you should first get used to girls in general, which means to befriend them. Girls like being friends with funny guys, so humor is probably your best bet. Playful little jabs, mocking teachers they don't like, spontaneous/interesting behavior. Stuff like that. So yeah, get a feel of how girls are like before you make any big moves.

[FunPhish]

Confidence is the first step to getting a girlfriend. If someone like me can do it, then anyone can. :lol:

 

 

 

Correction. If someone like ME can do it, then anyone can. :lol:

 

Au contraire, if I can girlfriend, anyone here can. Especially when I did, I wasn't social at all, and didn't get along with people.

 

Well hold on, now. Are we talking about having any girlfriend or a well-liked girlfriend? Cuz anybody can get awkward, ugly Betty to be their girlfriend, but not adorable, pretty Bethany.

 

 

 

I'm very happy with my relationship. We bond very well, she is attractive, we have fun debates, and she's overall one of my favorite people in the world (which is saying a lot since I hate most people). Whether you believe a random internet stranger or not is totally up to you though.

 

 

 

Abc: Before trying to get a girlfriend, you should first get used to girls in general, which means to befriend them. Girls like being friends with funny guys, so humor is probably your best bet. Playful little jabs, mocking teachers they don't like, spontaneous/interesting behavior. Stuff like that. So yeah, get a feel of how girls are like before you make any big moves.

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah man that is great advice, if you're funny enough(Like me :thumbsup: ) you can get by almost purely on comedy. I mean most people think they aren't clever enough to be funny but god I tell ya'. Probobly 90% of my comedy is timing, I rarely say clever things, hell most of the things I say are stupid as hell. People tell me I could do stand up and the only material I have is good timing and stupid mocking voices. I mean sure you need confidence, and it doesn't hurt that I work out a good bit, but overall my charm comes from comedy. I sometimes feel stupid as hell because I can't really ever say romantic things, and when my girlfriend feels bad I rarely can think of things to say to console her. But anyways point is I'm not a very attractive guy, probobly a 6, and my girlfriend is like a friggen' model(9-9.5 imo, guess not everyone would agree), and basicly all I have going for me is funny. So if if you can pull funny off definatly go for it, and from my experiences you only get better at it over time, I know I'm funnier than I've ever been lol. And don't worry about stupid jokes, you can make them funny by saying something like,"(Pause)..uhhh forget I said anything" or,"..yeah sorry about that..". Hopefully this advice can help someone, it's the only thing that's ever worked for me.

[Hawks]

So I have decided it is time to tell my story to TIF. I am a sopomore (10th grade) this year. I have never gone out with anyone ever. There's two guys I like and we'll get into the details in a bit. The only thing is that I never have been and won't be a particularly 'girly' girl. I mean I wear guy's shorts (and shoes, and socks.) and I play hockey, I'm a total tomboy and would fit in that category of art freak/indy kid. I sort of told a good friend of mine that I would go to the homecoming dance this year so she could do my hair. However the dance is in 3 weeks and I would need to acquire a dress.

 

 

 

Okay. The first kid I like, I'll call him Andrew. I've known him since I moved into the district 8 years ago. We were really good (like best friends) for five ish years with another kid. In jr. high we sort of drifted a little bit but we're still friends. I've pretty much had a crush on him since I met him. In jr. high and freshman year, two of the friend groups sort of mixed together and I became good friends with 'Sam' and 'Joan'. Sam and I think exactly alike, and he's a great friend. Joan and I have the same views on life and lots of the same ideas and random craziness. In 8th grade Joan had a long relationship with Andrew, but they broke up in the beginning of freshman year. Sam took Joan to homecoming freshman year and they went out until around January (Joan broke up with him because 'she didn't want to be attached to a person for so long'). I'm sure Sam still likes Joan, and possibly also likes me. I like him but there's sort of an unspoken agreement between us that a relationship wouldn't work out. Andrew hasn't gone out with anyone since and also hasn't come to any of the dances. Sam only comes to the dances because he's on student council.

 

 

 

After reading my ramble if you could offer some thoughts on how to let people know I am open to a relationship or idk. I would ask one of them out. but again that's really strange for me.

[fubol]

So there is this girl (Well, that's new :P )

 

 

 

I first saw her last year , I felt pretty attracted to her , but never actually got around to try to talk to her..

 

Yesterday my school started and today I had my first math class , and surprisingly I found out we shared the same class!

 

 

 

Yeah well , I didn't directly try to talk to her (hence , it's the first school day) but I will do sooner or later ..

 

 

 

Now , should I try to take the seat behind her and ask random 'math' questions or should I try making some jokes or something? How could I get around to talk to her?

 

 

 

Well normally I would just try to be and idiot , and hope she likes it (most people like it when I do stupid things \ : :lol: ) but how should I handle it this time?

 

 

 

My main problem is that a girl (I've had bad experiences with) is her best friend , and she HATES me .

 

Do you think that should be a factor that would change the way she will look at me?

 

 

 

 

 

Also , the first time I got in class (she was already in the classroom) and I tried smiling lightly , and when I look at her , she (sometimes) looks back for a good 3 seconds lol :P

 

 

 

 

 

HELP!

[Hobgoblinpie]

So there is this girl (how obvisious :P ) ..

 

 

 

I first saw her last year , I felt pretty atracted to her , but never actually got around to try to talk to her..

 

 

 

There may be a problem with that. In some cases, the woman wont be interested if she 'knows' you for a long time. But it's not always true.

 

 

 

Yesterday my school started and today I had my first maths class , and suprisingly I found out we shared the same class!

 

 

 

Yeh well , I didn't directly try to talk to her (hence , it's the first school day) but I will do sooner or later ..

 

 

 

Do it sooner rather than later.

 

 

 

Now , should I try to take the seat behind her and ask random 'math' questions or should I try making some jokes or something? How could I get around to talk to her?

 

 

 

It'd be hard to make a full conversation out of random maths questions, but you can try to make a conversation out of it if you wish. I think just general conversation is (ask her how she is etc) the best way to approach this. I would definitely try to be funny, but not too over the top with the stupidity.

 

 

 

Well normally I would just try to be and idiot , and hope she likes it (most people like it when I do stupid things \ : :lol: ) but how should I handle it this time?

 

 

 

I think you should be funny, but rein back the amount of idiocy. I mean, if you're comfortable with it, then do it, because women love confidence.

 

 

 

My main problem is that a girl (I've had bad experiences with) is her best friend , and she HATES me .

 

Do you think that should be a factor that would change the way she will look at me?

 

 

 

If she is her closest friend, then most likely she will have an impact. You might still have a chance with her, but it might take longer than normal to get her interested it you. Perhaps try smoothing things over with her best friend?

 

 

 

 

 

Also , the first time I got in class (she was already in the classroom) and I tryed smiling lightly , and when I look at her , she (sometimes) looks back for a good 3 seconds lol :P

 

 

 

I would regard that as an IOI (Indicator of Interest), so you should act on it as soon as possible.

[fubol]

Thanks Hobgoblin!

 

 

 

I DO feel comfortable with being an idiot (I'm the entertainer in my class , or atleast I was last year)

 

 

 

But the main problem is that she (the girl I have problems with , and best friend of the girl I want to flirt with) is sitting NEXT to her >.<

 

 

 

So should I try smiling to her ?

 

Take the seat behind her?

 

Be funny?

[Hobgoblinpie]

Thanks Hobgoblin!

 

 

 

I DO feel comfortable with being an idiot (I'm the entertainer in my class , or atleast I was last year)

 

 

 

But the main problem is that she (the girl I have problems with , and best friend of the girl I want to flirt with) is sitting NEXT to her >.<

 

 

 

So should I try smiling to her ?

 

Take the seat behind her?

 

Be funny?

 

 

 

If it were me, I'd try talk to her best friend and sort it out. Obviously, I don't know what happened between you and her, so it might not just be that simple. It doesn't matter if you cant get her to like you, just get her to not hate you.

 

 

 

If you don't think that's an option, then give the girl you're after some IOIs (eye contact, smiling etc). Women expect the man to make a move, but if her best friend hates you that much, then you may have to wait for her to come to you instead. And yes, Always be funny, but try to quickly work out what she finds funny and what she doesn't, nothing like a crap joke to ruin the mood.

[Omar]

I wouldn't think of looking at someone for 3 seconds an IOI...

[Lenticular_J]

So I have decided it is time to tell my story to TIF. I am a sopomore (10th grade) this year. I have never gone out with anyone ever. There's two guys I like and we'll get into the details in a bit. The only thing is that I never have been and won't be a particularly 'girly' girl. I mean I wear guy's shorts (and shoes, and socks.) and I play hockey, I'm a total tomboy and would fit in that category of art freak/indy kid. I sort of told a good friend of mine that I would go to the homecoming dance this year so she could do my hair. However the dance is in 3 weeks and I would need to acquire a dress.

 

 

 

Okay. The first kid I like, I'll call him Andrew. I've known him since I moved into the district 8 years ago. We were really good (like best friends) for five ish years with another kid. In jr. high we sort of drifted a little bit but we're still friends. I've pretty much had a crush on him since I met him. In jr. high and freshman year, two of the friend groups sort of mixed together and I became good friends with 'Sam' and 'Joan'. Sam and I think exactly alike, and he's a great friend. Joan and I have the same views on life and lots of the same ideas and random craziness. In 8th grade Joan had a long relationship with Andrew, but they broke up in the beginning of freshman year. Sam took Joan to homecoming freshman year and they went out until around January (Joan broke up with him because 'she didn't want to be attached to a person for so long'). I'm sure Sam still likes Joan, and possibly also likes me. I like him but there's sort of an unspoken agreement between us that a relationship wouldn't work out. Andrew hasn't gone out with anyone since and also hasn't come to any of the dances. Sam only comes to the dances because he's on student council.

 

 

 

After reading my ramble if you could offer some thoughts on how to let people know I am open to a relationship or idk. I would ask one of them out. but again that's really strange for me.

 

HOLY CRAP. A GIRL NEEDING ADVICE. Now this is going to be a challenge.

 

 

 

Okay, first off, you're incredibly lucky you live in Michigan. It isn't the greatest place to be an indy kid, but it isn't terrible either.

 

 

 

So. Girls need to give IOIs. If you're really just into getting a relationship, don't play hard to get or anything. I'm not sure about all guys, but a poll I just made up in my head showed that plenty of guys would be into a girl telling him she really likes him. Girls get way better results, too. Just be confident, this goes for both sexes. So, you could pretty much Zerg Rush him with likeage, OR you could do a more girlish thing: just indicate you're interested. Maybe let him catch you staring occasionally, hold eye contact, touch him playfully. Be flirty. Just don't be like most girls and pull away as soon as the guy makes a move. You won't be dealing with someone who understands what I'm telling you (odds are), so you'll have to try and be natural.

 

 

 

I also encourage you to look at other guys. Neither of those sound like real good choices. I personally don't think I could find myself dating you in either of their shoes, but I don't know any insinuating circumstances so that's a total guess. If you start dressing up a little more, that can help. It can be the same problem with girls AND guys - not wearing well-fitting clothes, not being confident about how they look, stuff like that. You could try wearing the occasional dress or skirt, but I'm pretty sure I don't know even the girliest girls at my schools that wear dresses and skirts on an everyday basis (or, really, ever).

 

 

 

One bad thing with you living in Michigan is the fact that you describe yourself as a tomboy. Down here, most of the women are probably more into football and four-wheelers and other more boyish stuff than a lot of guys up there :lol: Being a tomboy is just accepted here.

 

 

 

I think you should buy a pretty, well-fitting dress, some girly heels, let your friend (who I'm assuming is a "girly girl") do your hair or whatever. Some perfume or something, I don't know. I couldn't begin to list all the crap girls do for us guys, and I'm incredibly thankful for it all.

 

 

 

This is probably terrible advice. I always think it comes so much easier to girls for some reason. Just make yourself more approachable, if you at all can. To be honest, talking to any of your friends that is more successful would help. If they tell you anything you're really confused by or uncomfortable with, bring it here and odds are we'll be able to decipher it to more level-headed terms. Sometimes girlier girls can be quite wrong in what they think turns on a guy.

 

 

 

Fubol, try to win back the best friend first, OR SHE WILL EVER-LOVINGLY DESTROY YOU. At least neutralize her. If you need me to explain on that more fully, I can try.

 

 

 

With the girl though, avoid dull topics like school and weather or whatever. Maybe you just saw a cool band. Bring it up. Ask her a questions. At least make the conversation go 50/50 split between you and her talking. When it's just one-on-one with a girl, NEVER talk more than her, it makes you appear a lot less confident. If you can get her talking much more than you, it's actually better. Just don't interview her with questions. Keep cocky-funny, but don't make a complete idiot of yourself. Some self-deprecation will definitely give you brownie points, just make yourself the joke of more cruel jokes, and occasionally do something stupid. It will make her confidence go up, which can be a powerful tool if used right.

 

 

 

Now, just a bit of a report from today. In journalism, had some fun, mostly a screw-around day since we're supposed to sell ads in the yearbook but NOBODY IS UP at 8 in the morning, so nobody was picking up :lol: So I called my sister and my brother, brother never answered, but my sister talked about the Collective Soul concert she saw yesterday (her and her husband's two-year anniversary. Wow, it's been two years?), talked to her for a minute. Anyways, that led to me talking to some freshman girl that came in late and sat down at this table with me, a sophomore girl, and a junior girl that I'm already becoming great friends with.

 

 

 

ANYWAYS. These are our seating charts for a while, which is good, since every single one of them is cool and attractive. Go me. I was also getting a lot of looks from this table full of cheerleaders I already sorta know, since our whole table was just laughing and joking the whole time.

 

 

 

Alright, so at first the fish-girl was kind of quiet and shy, you know, because me and the junior were joking around pretty obnoxiously. Then, I noticed the freshman was pretty damn good-looking.

 

 

 

How will this turn out? Tune in Friday, I plan on pulling something then. I noticed that right at the bell, she came in 10 minutes before the period was over :lol:

 

 

 

The girls in my history class are pissing me off, though. One of them asked me what I was doing this weekend, and one was hinting at it, tying to get me to ask her. But I'll be in Dallas this weekend, so I kinda cold-shouldered them with a plain "I'm gonna be busy." Not the best move, but I think it worked all right.

 

 

 

Sorry for the novel, folks. About half of it doesn't need to be read.

[Omar]

 

Now, just a bit of a report from today. In journalism, had some fun, mostly a screw-around day since we're supposed to sell ads in the yearbook but NOBODY IS UP at 8 in the morning, so nobody was picking up :lol: So I called my sister and my brother, brother never answered, but my sister talked about the Collective Soul concert she saw yesterday (her and her husband's two-year anniversary. Wow, it's been two years?), talked to her for a minute. Anyways, that led to me talking to some freshman girl that came in late and sat down at this table with me, a sophomore girl, and a junior girl that I'm already becoming great friends with.

 

 

 

ANYWAYS. These are our seating charts for a while, which is good, since every single one of them is cool and attractive. Go me. I was also getting a lot of looks from this table full of cheerleaders I already sorta know, since our whole table was just laughing and joking the whole time.

 

 

 

Alright, so at first the fish-girl was kind of quiet and shy, you know, because me and the junior were joking around pretty obnoxiously. Then, I noticed the freshman was pretty damn good-looking.

 

 

 

How will this turn out? Tune in Friday, I plan on pulling something then. I noticed that right at the bell, she came in 10 minutes before the period was over :lol:

 

 

 

The girls in my history class are pissing me off, though. One of them asked me what I was doing this weekend, and one was hinting at it, tying to get me to ask her. But I'll be in Dallas this weekend, so I kinda cold-shouldered them with a plain "I'm gonna be busy." Not the best move, but I think it worked all right.

 

 

 

Sorry for the novel, folks. About half of it doesn't need to be read.

 

 

 

None of the girls in my grade are even interesting... :(

[champion]

 

None of the girls in my grade are even interesting... :(

 

How many girls are in your grade? Just wondering.

[Omar]

Not sure, probably around 35. It's a really small school.

[Lenticular_J]

I doubt there are more than 35 girls in my grade that I'd be interested it. It's a huge, uninteresting school. To be honest, I doubt there's more than 35 in the whole school.

 

 

 

That is pretty lame that you're in such a small school though. You'll have to get a distant one Omaromaromar!

[justcallmedaddy]

I've never met a good-looking girl named Bethany. Never seen one named Betty, though. Both are kind of nasty-sounding names.

 

Don't know about Betty, but I worked with a girl named Bethany for over a year. She was fiiiiine.

 

 

 

All of the Lexi girls out there are NICE.

 

There's a reason for "Sexy Lexi". Speaking of, I have one in one of my classes tomorrow. Only thing is, she looks like she's 23. A babe, though, just oddly old for her age. I've been told I look like a college kid, though.

 

 

 

I know one in my class and well...she is perfect. All honors classes with all A's for 4.5 GPA, plays soccer, basketball, and track, polite, good jokes, and oh yeah everyone agrees she is a definite 10 in looks.

[Kenshinjapan]

I've never met a good-looking girl named Bethany. Never seen one named Betty, though. Both are kind of nasty-sounding names.

 

Don't know about Betty, but I worked with a girl named Bethany for over a year. She was fiiiiine.

 

 

 

All of the Lexi girls out there are NICE.

 

There's a reason for "Sexy Lexi". Speaking of, I have one in one of my classes tomorrow. Only thing is, she looks like she's 23. A babe, though, just oddly old for her age. I've been told I look like a college kid, though.

 

 

 

I know one in my class and well...she is perfect. All honors classes with all A's for 4.5 GPA, plays soccer, basketball, and track, polite, good jokes, and oh yeah everyone agrees she is a definite 10 in looks.

 

 

 

She sounds too perfect, every guy would be eyeing your girl when out with her. Sometime, a little ugly is better because less competition for her :thumbsup: .

[Wisp]

She probably has some personality flaw from being so perfect, and probably being treated that way. Just a guess.

[Maleficus1055]

So today my girlfriend broke up with me :( . I shouldn't be as upset as I am, we'd only been together for a week and a half, but she was my first girlfriend. Apparently she says I'm really great to talk to over texts and such, but in real life i'm just too shy and nervous all the time (apparently I wasn't being affectionate enough to her). I blame us breaking up partly on myself and partly on her. On myself because of the reason I just stated (second time it happened, there was another girl I liked who would have gone out with me but she said I was too different in person.) I blame it partly on her because she just sprung this on me today before she broke up with me, she didn't tell me before, so I could try and fix it or anything (apparently, she didn't want to "force me to change myself" which is [bleep]ing [cabbage]. Besides, I hate myself and would love to change...)

 

 

 

Anyways, yeah, I'm pretty upset over this even though I feel stupid for it. I also asked her if we could possibly try again if I changed and I got "I don't know, whatever happens happens." Sometimes I just hate myself...

[Lenticular_J]

Sounds to me like you were trying to hold the relationship with text messaging. Person-person contact is far, FAAAAAAAAAAR more important for a relationship.

 

 

 

Plus, you were "together" for a week and a half. How many times did you actually hang out? I personally wouldn't even have called her my girlfriend, but to each his own.

 

 

 

Anyways, don't obsess. Pimpin' ain't easy, after all.

[Maleficus1055]

Sounds to me like you were trying to hold the relationship with text messaging. Person-person contact is far, FAAAAAAAAAAR more important for a relationship.

 

 

 

Plus, you were "together" for a week and a half. How many times did you actually hang out? I personally wouldn't even have called her my girlfriend, but to each his own.

 

 

 

Anyways, don't obsess. Pimpin' ain't easy, after all.

 

 

 

No, we talked a lot in person, we just texted after school a lot as well. We hung out every day at school, one day for about 5 hours after school, and on two saturdays for a very long time.

[Lenticular_J]

Hm. Well, did you feel really comfortable with her? Or were you kind of worried you might have been doing something wrong? And what exactly did you guys do while you were hanging out?

[aquariusman]

I barely consider looks when it comes to who I would date. Almost all of the time, the girls I would consider dating are much closer to average looking than anything. My last girlfriend, her personality outweighs the looks of the most attractive women I've seen. We'd still be dating if it wasn't for school or her water polo (She had no time between the two).

 

 

 

hawkxs, just let people know that you're interested. If there's a guy you like, talk to him, FLIRT. That's pretty much the best way for anyone to get someone (Girls and guys), to just flirt. I guess that might bring up a problem of not knowing how to flirt. My best advice in general is just to do what first comes to mind (Well, there IS a line that needs to be drawn). If you think you might look like an idiot, who cares? Don't let what you might look like bother you, just have fun.

 

 

 

I make no claim that I would know how a girl thinks however. I, like almost all guys, wish I knew. If Goddess still frequented the forum, I'd tell you to talk to her.

[Maleficus1055]

Hm. Well, did you feel really comfortable with her? Or were you kind of worried you might have been doing something wrong? And what exactly did you guys do while you were hanging out?

 

 

 

I did my best to feel comfortable but I was always worried about everything, thats the type of person I am. She made the first move of everything, from holding hands to kissing. And we would sit there and talk usually.

 

 

 

Well, i've been talking to a close friend of mine for a while now and she's cheering me up a lot, I think i'll be over this pretty soon hopefully.

[Lenticular_J]

It'll be good to get over it, just keep on truckin'. The next girl you date, though, you can probably be a bit more forward with. Girls shouldn't take all the heavy lifting for a relationship.

 

 

 

But, hey, she's the first girl you've ever dated. I doubt you did bad at all. All you need to do is start taking control more and be less worried.

[deathdrow]

I am in a very complicated situation in my relationship right now, makes me feel like [cabbage], and makes my chest feel like it's slowly being ground down from the inside.

 

I might elaborate later. Probably won't.

 

I ar haz frauwnz.

[Maleficus1055]

It'll be good to get over it, just keep on truckin'. The next girl you date, though, you can probably be a bit more forward with. Girls shouldn't take all the heavy lifting for a relationship.

 

 

 

But, hey, she's the first girl you've ever dated. I doubt you did bad at all. All you need to do is start taking control more and be less worried.

 

 

 

Thanks for the advice, I realize I need to do this and i'll try harder next time, I really need to stop being so shy and worried all the time :? .