Actually, that post made me feel a little better. I came on here to [bleep] and moan about how I'm going through another "I hate women" phase. Which in turn is not good because I have a date tommorow. With a chick I couldn't care any less about. Who I'm probably going to hook up with. I'm probably going to seduce her [she's REALLY into me]. And then I'll end up hating myself for it. And her. And women and general. Because al women are either way too boring and uninteresting, or disgusting. Which is a shame because some of those boring chicks, I get along with just fine...but they're so...not my type. Which I've now taken to mean that my "type" is the disgusitng bimbo-[bleep]-type. And that's not making me feel too good about myself. No offence to the female posters on the thread, but I seriously just can't stand women anymore. They just make me want to hate everything.

 

You're becoming too obsessed with sex/women/relationships. Quit trying to analyze your feelings and problems. While you haven't done anything with this girl on your date yet, predicting the negative things which are probably going to happen doesn't justify anything, nor will it help your situation.

 

The way I see it is you've become very disenchanted and out-of-touch with how things are supposed to go in relationships-- whether they're long-term or just a fling. If you want to help yourself, just take a break from all this drama and quit worrying about sex and dating until you've cleared your head. Depending on your case, that may or may not include visiting this thread regularly.

 

I don't want to sugarcoat this for you because I feel like you've gone off the deep end-- I do not perceive you as "dominant" or "alpha" in any regard-- rather, you are much more "beta" or "omega." Please help yourself.

 

[i feel like a douche for posting this but I think it's necessary. Correct me if I'm wrong. . .]

Alright muggi, I respect that. Now I'm forced to wonder what about me makes me an 'omega' rather than an 'alpha'. I suppose its cause I am getting a little obsessive. Which is indeed an understatement. Not giving a crap one way or the other about chasing girls does seem to be a quality most 'alphas' have. I agree that just chillin out and backing away from relationships as a whole might be a solution to most of my issues [i even had a post where i felt like i made a breakthrough on such a regard]. But I've become very wishy-washy. One day, I'll be fine, minding my own buisness, doin' my own thing, not caring. The next, I'll get lonely, and desire to be involved with a girl in one way or another [i'm going to tribute it to jealousy of all of my friends who seem to get women with a fair amount of ease, and the girls I'm friends with who give it out like candy]. I guess I just feel left out now that I don't have any relationship leads that I'm actually interested in, and that drives me to practically hunt for them.

 

and yes. I over-analyzed the [cabbage] out of that.

Alright muggi, I respect that. Now I'm forced to wonder what about me makes me an 'omega' rather than an 'alpha'. I suppose its cause I am getting a little obsessive. Which is indeed an understatement. Not giving a crap one way or the other about chasing girls does seem to be a quality most 'alphas' have. I agree that just chillin out and backing away from relationships as a whole might be a solution to most of my issues [i even had a post where i felt like i made a breakthrough on such a regard]. But I've become very wishy-washy. One day, I'll be fine, minding my own buisness, doin' my own thing, not caring. The next, I'll get lonely, and desire to be involved with a girl in one way or another [i'm going to tribute it to jealousy of all of my friends who seem to get women with a fair amount of ease, and the girls I'm friends with who give it out like candy]. I guess I just feel left out now that I don't have any relationship leads that I'm actually interested in, and that drives me to practically hunt for them.

 

and yes. I over-analyzed the [cabbage] out of that.

 

If you don't give a crap, then why are you so distraught over women? And why are you coming here for reassurance?

 

This isn't a wishy-washy trait to have... you can't toggle a switch on not giving a [cabbage], and being over-concerned about everything. Take your pick-- being indecisive isn't being dominant.

 

Also keep in mind, if you really wanna not give a [cabbage]-- then you can start by not giving a [cabbage] over whether you're dominant or not.

I agree with muggi, and resenting women like that isn't healthy.

You have a confidence problem, RPG. That's normal after the same girl has dumped you, what, 14 times if I remember correctly? My first advice would be to fix your perceived flaws if they're real, but I'm not sure that's a good idea - theoretically, you should be able to heal without improving yourself, but instead by accepting who and what you are. I did say theoretically because I can't see a practical solution to that problem. I'll leave it up to others to figure it out.

Alright muggi, I respect that. Now I'm forced to wonder what about me makes me an 'omega' rather than an 'alpha'. I suppose its cause I am getting a little obsessive. Which is indeed an understatement. Not giving a crap one way or the other about chasing girls does seem to be a quality most 'alphas' have. I agree that just chillin out and backing away from relationships as a whole might be a solution to most of my issues [i even had a post where i felt like i made a breakthrough on such a regard]. But I've become very wishy-washy. One day, I'll be fine, minding my own buisness, doin' my own thing, not caring. The next, I'll get lonely, and desire to be involved with a girl in one way or another [i'm going to tribute it to jealousy of all of my friends who seem to get women with a fair amount of ease, and the girls I'm friends with who give it out like candy]. I guess I just feel left out now that I don't have any relationship leads that I'm actually interested in, and that drives me to practically hunt for them.

 

and yes. I over-analyzed the [cabbage] out of that.

 

If you don't give a crap, then why are you so distraught over women? And why are you coming here for reassurance?

 

This isn't a wishy-washy trait to have... you can't toggle a switch on not giving a [cabbage], and being over-concerned about everything. Take your pick-- being indecisive isn't being dominant.

 

Also keep in mind, if you really wanna not give a [cabbage]-- then you can start by not giving a [cabbage] over whether you're dominant or not.

 

 

indecision is inhibiting my dominance? That makes sense. I guess I'm going to have to stop obsessing. Easier said than done, but I'll give it a shot.

Alright, so after a couple weeks of thinking, I really believe I'm underestimating my social skills. It could be that the only place I've been all summer is at work, but that's a different issue.

 

Here's my question: My work environment is a little different than most. On a good day I'll spend a lot of the time talking to the other guys there, and there's also plenty of cute girls to flirt with (a friend of mine spends a little too much time flirting there). So I figure since I know them, it'd be a good opportunity to practice flirting and all that junk. So basically that's what I want to know; how to flirt. If I pass by one of the girls at work, how can I spark up a little 10-20 second conversation before we move on our way? I don't really know them enough to know what to talk about. During the slower hours there's a little more time to talk, and I realized that I've been missing a great opportunity to freshen up before school starts again.

 

Not really looking to score me a girlfriend here, just to become a little better friends with them, and improving myself. I need to be a little wittier, and be able to start a casual conversation, but don't really know how. If you read about my last problem here, I find it very difficult.

How I learned to stop caring about other folks' opinions (well, in a base fashion, everyone cares) when it came to flirting - do it all the time. And don't take yourself too seriously. But, what I like to do is wink. My eyebrows are a skill for me. I can wiggle them and there will be panty-shaped holes all over the ground. Or something. Maybe.

 

And the much-underused lip flick. One of my dear friends likes to do it fast, but he has enormous black guy lips, so it's an earth-shattering effect. My little lips, I take my time, get into it, maybe close my eyes. And then flick like nobody's ever flicked before!

 

Flirting is not conversing. In fact, you don't need to talk at all. If you don't know what to talk about, maybe that's the best option. Go go go

 

And the much-underused lip flick. One of my dear friends likes to do it fast, but he has enormous black guy lips, so it's an earth-shattering effect. My little lips, I take my time, get into it, maybe close my eyes. And then flick like nobody's ever flicked before!

 

 

As a large-lipped fellow myself, I have to wonder what 'flicking' it actually entails. I'm picturing an Elvis Presley sneer type thing. Which I can't imagine is what you're talking about. Do explain, dear friend.

I can't exactly explain how, but I can assure you that it's possible. It just takes time. I used to be a lot like you during middle school and early high school. Though I've been becoming a lot more social lately. I can't really explain how it happens, but I've noticed I tend to be a lot more witty and hilarious occasionally. I'll still get the awkward freeze-up sometimes, but it happens a lot less nowadays.

 

One thing which might help is something I remember hearing a while ago. It is that your personality is essentially the combination of the five people closest to you, plus your own personality traits mixed in. Just start hanging out with people you really admire; people you think are really cool cats. Watch how they interact. At first you'll probably think like, "damn they're witty. How'd they think of that response so fast?" Then after a while it'll start rubbing off naturally. At least, that's what happened to me :P

Well, then it's a good thing I work with the people I work with. The two I'm around most I'd consider good friends, and they're like, the perfect model of what I aspire to become socially. I admire the hell out of them. I'm still trying to figure out how they do it, it's like no matter what the topic at hand is, they have an interesting and elaborate response. After some narrowing down I've realized that people who talk to each other easily share common experiences. And I just don't have enough experiences under my belt, but I'm sorta straying from the point. I've noticed that it's slightly starting to rub off, though. I think if I'm just able to start any form of conversation, I could get somewhere.

 

As far as the eyebrow and lip things go, I've been told that my eyebrows have unique abilities. In middle school, I could do this wink-eyebrow-lip combo that would make any girl blush. I think facial expressions are one of my strong points if I learn to use them correctly.

 

And the much-underused lip flick. One of my dear friends likes to do it fast, but he has enormous black guy lips, so it's an earth-shattering effect. My little lips, I take my time, get into it, maybe close my eyes. And then flick like nobody's ever flicked before!

 

 

As a large-lipped fellow myself, I have to wonder what 'flicking' it actually entails. I'm picturing an Elvis Presley sneer type thing. Which I can't imagine is what you're talking about. Do explain, dear friend.

Bottom lip under top teeth. Bite a little bit. Flick lip out. Look sexy.

And the much-underused lip flick. One of my dear friends likes to do it fast, but he has enormous black guy lips, so it's an earth-shattering effect. My little lips, I take my time, get into it, maybe close my eyes. And then flick like nobody's ever flicked before!

 

 

As a large-lipped fellow myself, I have to wonder what 'flicking' it actually entails. I'm picturing an Elvis Presley sneer type thing. Which I can't imagine is what you're talking about. Do explain, dear friend.

Bottom lip under top teeth. Bite a little bit. Flick lip out. Look sexy.

 

ohhhhh okay. I got you. Yeah that's definiatly a keeper in my armory of moves

I need some advice concerning this girl I met.

 

I met this really cute girl and dated her for a few weeks, then the relationship became serious. She eventually confided in me that she was actually male and then lunged at me, grabbed me by the cheeks, and kissed me. At first I resisted, but I gradually began to enjoy it.

 

Anyway, I'm confused. I have never felt this way toward someone who is technically a male. Does this make me gay? Is it a perverse relationship, or is it something that we should both continue to pursue?

 

This is like the real life Crying Game...

 

 

Wait wait wait i wanna give my two cents before this topic is too old!

 

Ok first off: did you not notice the lack of boobs? srry that just stuck out.

 

2) On a purely relationship status I'd be weary only because he lunged at you, which shows insecurity and uneasiness, along with a lack of self confidence.

 

3) No one really knows if you're gay but you're self. Maybe you're bi? You can listen to all the little 13 year olds around here getting high off their extra 23 chromie saying that you're gay but I mean. Go find out. Go explore. If the thought of another man intimate makes you uneasy you might only be attracted to this one man. Which is actually very common. But as well, many gay men don't realize they are gay until they are older.

 

Good luck :)

 

 

edit: goddamnit. was I too late? [bleep].

 

well congrats Sere <3: (no homo)

Edited July 8, 201016 yr by Saruman44

Somebody asked me to write a bit on flirting, which suited me great because I was bored as hell at the time.

 

You can build attraction through a few ways. The way you dress, your body language and tone, DHVs through stories, your social status and flirting/teasing.

 

Flirting and teasing makes people feel like they've known each other for a while, even if you start doing it straight away. It disqualifies you so she won't think you are hitting on her and put up her [bleep] shield, it lets her qualify herself and work towards seeing your more serious side, and it sets a playful and fun tone. People really only tease those who have the same/lower value, so it tells her that she doesn't have a higher value than you.

 

You joke and tease your friends because you all respect each other, if what you're busting her balls on might be a soft spot then make sure you've already shown you respect that aspect of her. If you overdo it or don't show respect first when you should have, take a step back. Maybe say something like 'where I grew up we all teased each other to show affection, I was just playing. Let's start over.' You can also start asking logical low compliance questions to build it back up again. Stuff like her name, what she likes to do etc. Ask her things she isn't going to ignore and probably has default answers to, to get back into normal conversation.

 

Start off with light stuff that's low compliance, later on you can move onto bigger role plays with more sexual themes. How fast you can progress depends on how good you are at it, and on the situation. If the situation is right I'll just walk up to a group of girls and start organizing about a four-some.

 

If you're reading this, chances are you've seen me emphasize role playing over and over because it works so well it's like a cheat code. Since I can never emphasize that point enough, role play - do it. Especially if you role play sex, because it's just fun so she will just go along with it, but it will get her thinking about sex with you and make her more comfortable with the idea of being physical.

 

Flirting and teasing should be natural or it's weird. If you say something on a specific topic in the wrong situation then it's more about you being a legitimate [bleep] and she will just reject you to keep her self esteem. Everything should be in context somehow.

 

Because it needs to be natural, writing a guide for it doesn't really work. Instead I'll just give examples of what I do. Remember that your flirting should be consistent with her idea on who you are. You don't see james bond point at a girls chest and flick her nose when she looks down do you?

 

I will playfully:

Exasperate in a crowded area loudly "no I will not make out with you" (It's from a movie, can't remember which though)

Act really impatient when she's getting ready to go out, even if it's obviously a normal amount of time.

Make something that is clearly my fault, look like her fault via some ridiculous means.

Tell her to make me a sandwich/get me a beer.

Play [bleep] marry kill

Tell her that we should find her a boyfriend, someone who will send her flowers and hold her purse for her at ikea. I'll point out the dorkiest looking guy in the area, and sometimes introduce her to him 'because she thinks you're hot but she's really shy' and then walk away and let them talk.

Switch stereotypes, for example act like she's trying to get me drunk and take advantage of me. I'll warn her that I brought my rape whistle and mace.

If we're talking and her friend comes up, act like she just said something mean about her. for example look back and forth between them and say 'nah I don't think she smells, that's mean. It's ok I think you smell nice.' and give the first girl a dirty look.

Offer her a helmet and crayons so she can sit in the corner with the other [developmentally delayed]s and not hurt herself if she does something stupid.

Play on stereotypes. If she lives on a farm talk about how she must churn butter all day and she can't stay out too late because she has to get up early to feed the pigs.

If we're around a stranger, or about to be served by a checkout operator/bartender etc I'll pretend to have the end of an embarrassing conversation with her. "Yeah I'm not really into fetishes but I guess we can try that if you really want. I don't know how we're going to get bagpipes though. *looks up* "Oh sorry, two tickets to x please."

Act really selfish and ask for ridiculous favors to the point where it's obviously a parody.

Act really cold and hateful to the point where it's obviously a parody.

Tell her I'm really high maintainence and I require too much attention, or act like she's really high maintainence.

Spank her if she bends over, or say 'while you're down there...'

Eat food seductively but exaggerate it to the point where it's a parody.

Role play a sex fantasy.

 

I put the lighter ones you can do early towards the beginning, but they aren't in a strict order. I'm sure you can figure out which is and isn't appropriate for where you stand with her. Hopefully that's enough to go on.

IamDan speaks the truth :bow:

 

in anycase, i had my first real college experience today, as I had to take some placement tests. I always convinced myself that by college I'd be ready and willing to move on, and even do so. That time is approaching rather quickly. Anywho; I met a chick named Jamie. She was real nice. Pretty attractive, too. We exchanged stories as to how she gave up Ivy League college to move in with her 3-year-boyfriend [who dumped her 3 weeks ago for some reandom chick]. Few too many awkward silences, which i tribute to nerves over the test. I didn't preform as well as I'd hoped, but I really don't have any actual interest in her. Just the realization taht there was an opurtunity presented to me on a silver platter and I practically shoved it aside. Ah well. If all goes according to schedule, I'll be seeing her for an hour a day on a train anyway. We'll see where this ends up. I'm shootin for just a friend to be honest.

IamDan speaks the truth :bow:

 

in anycase, i had my first real college experience today, as I had to take some placement tests. I always convinced myself that by college I'd be ready and willing to move on, and even do so. That time is approaching rather quickly. Anywho; I met a chick named Jamie. She was real nice. Pretty attractive, too. We exchanged stories as to how she gave up Ivy League college to move in with her 3-year-boyfriend [who dumped her 3 weeks ago for some reandom chick]. Few too many awkward silences, which i tribute to nerves over the test. I didn't preform as well as I'd hoped, but I really don't have any actual interest in her. Just the realization taht there was an opurtunity presented to me on a silver platter and I practically shoved it aside. Ah well. If all goes according to schedule, I'll be seeing her for an hour a day on a train anyway. We'll see where this ends up. I'm shootin for just a friend to be honest.

 

I think that's for the best, personally.

Hey brothers. I haven't hit this topic up for a while but I read it everyday. Dang I've learned so much lol. Anyways, there's a really trivial thing, so trivial it's almost annoying, I really need to ask.

 

How exactly does the asking to 'go out' thing go down? I mean, I can never imagine "Do you want to go with out with me?". Before I've used stuff like "I've considered the idea of us dating like you said, so what do you think?" but that's just meh. So what's the golden line? Something classy?

 

Another part too, that integrates with the first question. This girl who (no offense to her) seems to always get involved in other people's affairs, broke into mine, with a girl I'm going after. We've been going out on dates and flirting for a looooooong time, and I was going to pull a romantic alone-at-sunset thing. However, said dramatic girl decided to plant seeds and paranoid fear into my (sorta?) girl's mind, saying "He hasn't asked you out yet??? There's probably another girl! He's probably just using you!", so...as a last resort to save it, I had to blow it and explain my plan to her...which is so [bleep]ing lame...

 

I got the idea, with my first surprise ruined, have another surprise, to make it special. The first thing I thought of was giving her a ring or something, but I'm asking to become exclusive, not for marriage o.O. So, I don't know. If you nailed my first question and you're still reading this and you have any ideas, throw 'em out.

 

Thanks!

ring seems too...clingy?

Go for a bracelet or a necklace. Latter prefered. as for going official, I like going for the over dramatic "cute" method. Once I even bent down on one knee and asked her to be my girlfriend, as if I were proposing to her [but much less serious, but infront of a good chunk of her family]. Be creative. Have fun. Do something that makes for a good story later. Cause you'll be retelling it everytime you go out in public as a couple.

Hey brothers. I haven't hit this topic up for a while but I read it everyday. Dang I've learned so much lol. Anyways, there's a really trivial thing, so trivial it's almost annoying, I really need to ask.

 

How exactly does the asking to 'go out' thing go down? I mean, I can never imagine "Do you want to go with out with me?". Before I've used stuff like "I've considered the idea of us dating like you said, so what do you think?" but that's just meh. So what's the golden line? Something classy?

 

Another part too, that integrates with the first question. This girl who (no offense to her) seems to always get involved in other people's affairs, broke into mine, with a girl I'm going after. We've been going out on dates and flirting for a looooooong time, and I was going to pull a romantic alone-at-sunset thing. However, said dramatic girl decided to plant seeds and paranoid fear into my (sorta?) girl's mind, saying "He hasn't asked you out yet??? There's probably another girl! He's probably just using you!", so...as a last resort to save it, I had to blow it and explain my plan to her...which is so [bleep]ing lame...

 

I got the idea, with my first surprise ruined, have another surprise, to make it special. The first thing I thought of was giving her a ring or something, but I'm asking to become exclusive, not for marriage o.O. So, I don't know. If you nailed my first question and you're still reading this and you have any ideas, throw 'em out.

 

Thanks!

there really is no golden line, if you've already been out on a few dates just ask her if she'll be your girlfriend. If you want to make a big spectacle out of it, do what rpg posted.

Also, if you want to get her something, go for a necklace, bracelet, or something special with a cool story, like a stuffed animal you got from somewhere, or that your old friend gave to you before x happened.

Asking a girl out has been covered a few times here, and on my blog. Just do the 'tell her about a cool thing you're doing but don't invite her until later in the conversation' thing.

 

 

 

If you're already dating but you want to be exclusive you don't have to buy her anything... Either have 'the talk' or just let it progress naturally. The second option is better, just see her more often and you both just develop a mutual understanding.

Rpg, rsautohater and dan in like, less than 2 hours. I love this thread <3:

 

Necklace would be cool, but I'd have to be careful about it. If I go out and spend a bunch of money on it, it'll seem way too needy, but if I buy some cheap thing it'd be sort of lame. Any other ideas?

Rpg, rsautohater and dan in like, less than 2 hours. I love this thread

 

Necklace would be cool, but I'd have to be careful about it. If I go out and spend a bunch of money on it, it'll seem way too needy, but if I buy some cheap thing it'd be sort of lame. Any other ideas?

 

 

Round these parts these stupid things called "silly bands" are popular. Most people use them as markers to show that they're "with" somebody. More like close to someone of the opposite gender, but the prinicple being that couples usually have exchanged these cheap little rubberband things.

 

So it doesn't have to be an expensive piece of jewelry. Hell I've even used rubber rings you can find at any Hot Topic. Use whatever you want, doesn't even have to be jewelry. or anything to be honest. But if you are going to get something, meaning>expense for sure. Think back to your early days with the girl. Was there a special inside joke taht can be made into an object that brought you closer? For me in the past, this "object" has ranged anywhere from a box of tic-tacs to a sterling silver ring. So...whatever you feel fits the relationship will be fine. Make it personal though ;)

If there's a girl you'd like to start getting serious with, take her on a real date. Hanging out with girls is fun, and you might do it a couple times with a certain girl, but at some point just say "I'm going to take you on a date." Tell her at least a day beforehand a general idea of what you'll be doing (you must know exactly what you're doing). Girls hate surprises in that they might be ill-prepared for whatever happens.

 

A real date still isn't dinner and a movie. Never do anything that constrains you both to being in the same location for a length of time, not for the first few dates. Once you've built the relationship, go for it. Until then, make it fun and original.

Offer her a helmet and crayons so she can sit in the corner with the other [developmentally delayed]s and not hurt herself if she does something stupid.

I lol'd. Thanks for the tips, more of what I already had :thumbsup:

 

My ex-ish's friend just left for Australia (on an indefinite break with the first girl, but I'm not attracted to her), and she's not coming back. I didn't try anything with the friend because of that and because I wanted to do right by the girl I was with before, but damn, I'm disappointed. I wouldn't be surprised if she was interested, too. No advice needed here, I just can't help but shake my fist at the heavens.

 

@helpme: Get her a Ring Pop. Parody-propose. It's in the bag.