Sounds like an awesome night. Which girl is this? The one you met at the bar right before you left for a bit, or the other one we thought you were pretty much dating?

Sounds like an awesome night. Which girl is this? The one you met at the bar right before you left for a bit, or the other one we thought you were pretty much dating?

That would be the one i met at the bar. Kinda funny cause i met them both at the same bar, and they were pretty much sitting in the exact same seat.

 

The one that i was "pretty much dating"... she's been acting odd.

Honestly, it sounds like this one is a keeper, so it might work out nicely that the second girl is getting all distant on you. Should still figure out what's up if you don't hear form her in a while though.

So Muggi, how do you go through the poly talk with a girl, since we've agreed explicitness is important?

 

You basically confirm her suspicions, which you've hopefully been implying all along, and then try to be as understanding and caring as possible. I think the "success" rate depends mostly on your personality and actions.

So last night me and Claire (Girls #2) were talking on the phone. She asked me what i was upto and i told her i was really just sitting around wasting time. She knew that i had a pretty bad day because yet again i had to cancel my flight. And i was stuck at home because my roommate had to use the car. I told her that i had to go for a few minutes, because i just wanted to jump in the shower. As i got out of the shower about 10 minutes later i started getting dressed when i heard a knock at the door. I went to open the door and there she was.

I was pretty shocked to say the least. But i was also happily surprised. This was about at 10:15pm. We sat down on the sofa, watched a movie. When the movie finished she put on some music and we just spent the rest of the time talking. Talking about the most random crap ever. It was really fun. She left around 3am. She's really cool. And it really seems that the more i look at her the more beautiful she becomes. It's really strange.

But i asked her this morning if i could take her out for dinner sometime this week or weekend, since we haven't really been out on a "date". I think she deserves it.

Tweaked my online dating profile a bit cuz I wasn't very proud of it.

 

Only ~2 girls viewed my profile per week since I created it. I updated my profile pic first before I started updating my profile "essays." Over the next 15 minutes, 5 (attractive) girls viewed my profile while I was updating the essays :blink:

 

Guess your profile pic really is 80% of your profile :shock:

 

edit: 2 more views while posting this-- off to a good start! \:D/

Tweaked my online dating profile a bit cuz I wasn't very proud of it.

 

Only ~2 girls viewed my profile per week since I created it. I updated my profile pic first before I started updating my profile "essays." Over the next 15 minutes, 5 (attractive) girls viewed my profile while I was updating the essays

 

Guess your profile pic really is 80% of your profile :shock:

 

edit: 2 more views while posting this-- off to a good start! \::/

 

Interesting, I thought about making one for the lolz,. Do your friends know you have an online dating profile? If mine did I would get ripped a new one!

Also, did you use your real name or make up an elaborate alter-ego ?

My friends know.

 

You don't provide your real name-- just a username. So I made up a very generic one with some random numbers.

 

Though, I've thought about making an alter-ego meathead profile after reading this for shits and giggles

Tweaked my online dating profile a bit cuz I wasn't very proud of it.

 

Only ~2 girls viewed my profile per week since I created it. I updated my profile pic first before I started updating my profile "essays." Over the next 15 minutes, 5 (attractive) girls viewed my profile while I was updating the essays

 

Guess your profile pic really is 80% of your profile :shock:

 

edit: 2 more views while posting this-- off to a good start! \:D/

 

Interesting, I thought about making one for the lolz,. Do your friends know you have an online dating profile? If mine did I would get ripped a new one!

Also, did you use your real name or make up an elaborate alter-ego ?

Why is it bad if your friends know?

My friends know.

 

You don't provide your real name-- just a username. So I made up a very generic one with some random numbers.

 

Though, I've thought about making an alter-ego meathead profile after reading this for shits and giggles

He changed a variable that should be addressed. The meathead profile was looking for a quick fling but the successful profile wanted a long term thing. Perhaps most users aren't looking for something long term?

Noxx where do you keep finding these high quality girls at? haha

My friends know.

 

You don't provide your real name-- just a username. So I made up a very generic one with some random numbers.

 

Though, I've thought about making an alter-ego meathead profile after reading this for shits and giggles

He changed a variable that should be addressed. The meathead profile was looking for a quick fling but the successful profile wanted a long term thing. Perhaps most users aren't looking for something long term?

 

Well two big "theories" regarding online dating are:

1. Your profile pic determines 80% of your "success"; having a pic of me showing off my abs would be better than me wearing a dress shirt. But it would appeal to different types of girls.

2. A lot of women are only looking for sex. But it's tabboo to put that on their profiles. When they see the aforementioned meathead come along, they think it's "safer" (socially) to hook up with him because he's stupid, as opposed to a guy with a polished, professional profile. If they're only looking for sex, then a guy's success is mostly irrelevent too, assuming they probably just want a one night stand.

Hah I looked into this whole thing, I looked for people in my area, and I noticed two things. Firstly, there are twice as many men as women. Secondly, Most of the younger women are awful looking, have young kids or are quite bogan. Oh yeah and I also noticed about 7 or 8 people that I know/know of. None of them friends, all of them kinda weirdos.

 

Lol I can safely say I'm not going to explore this avenue... Not that I needed to, I was just curious.

Noxx where do you keep finding these high quality girls at? haha

I think it's because of the type of person i am myself. I'm someone that kind of likes being in a relationship. And although i sometimes say/think i have no skill/game when it comes to girls, i actually think i have a lot. I know what to say and what not to say and i know how to get people to trust me very easily. It's kind of scary sometimes but more often than not it's actually awesome.

Anyway when i go out with friends i never really go out with the intention of picking up girls, i just go out with the intention of having a few beers and having fun. Most of the night i wouldn't say much, i'd pretty much just watch the people. I feel like this is usually a big advantage in getting the kind of girl that you want. I'll notice the girls that go to talk to 50 different guys, gets drinks bought for her from many guys, wears the shortest skirt and the highest heels. Those girls are more often than not the 1 night stand girls and i tend to stay away from them. Then you get the girls who would quietly sit at a table or by the bar. They'll have guys come over to them and talk to them, but the conversations will never really last long because either the guy is get's bored with the conversation or he realizes that he's not going to get in her pants. She won't let the guy buy her a drink, because she's not the type. She usually has a "[bleep] off, i'm not interested" look on her face too. So i'll go talk to that girl.

Also it's a risky move, but i find it's a lot better to go talk to a girl 10 minutes or so before the bar/club closes. Usually it's a lot more quiet, a lot of people have left, so you can actually have a conversation without having to shout your lungs out. Other upside is that it makes it easier to get her number because it's going to feel like you left your conversation halfway because you had to leave.

 

I don't know if what i'm saying is making a lot of sense. But over the past few weeks this is pretty much what has worked for me.

 

 

EDIT: Oh and i wouldn't pick up a girl at a club, really. Most of the girls are from a local bar where the majority of people there are ages 21 - late 20's.

I was going through a drawer in my desk yesterday and found this drawing that my ex-girlfriend drew for me. There was a note in the back that I had forgotten about, so I took it out and read it. And I realized how much I miss the feeling of being someone's everything. I mean, it wasn't specifically being her everything, but just someone's in general. It's a damn good feeling knowing that someone is completely caught up in who you are.

 

It sucks being lonely on that front, tbh.

My voicemail has 19/20 messages saved, all of which are my ex leaving me messages from when we were still on really good terms over the course of a year or two. I literally broke down and cried in front of a bunch of my friends the first time I accidentally listened to all of them [it was real hard to stop after the first one]. I haven't listened to them since, but I just can't bring myself to delete them. It sucks being reminded how happy you once were, no matter how happy you are at any given moment. Hell I had it pretty good at the time, but...something about being reminded about how awesome it was to be everything to someone and feel the same way back was heartbreaking.

Delete them RPG, if you brood over her, after the crap she put you through, you'll turn into what I was. And trust me, you do NOT want to turn into me.

 

Lately I've been having flashbacks each night, not just relationships, but when it is I wake up in almost a crying fit. This long distance is difficult with my boyfriend but I'm moving in with him the very beginning of 2013, just wish I didn't have to wait so long due to money.

So, ended up hanging out with that girl from orientation Friday.

 

Two hours before I headed up there, she told me her friend would be there too.

Then I got there, and we played Uno.

 

Uno.

 

I mean we went out to eat after and hung out for a bit more but I guess we had really different ideas about what was going on there. I always seem to have problems communicating my interest to girls, the last couple times I tried the girls had absolutely no clue that I was interested in them when I talked to them about it later, lol.

My voicemail has 19/20 messages saved, all of which are my ex leaving me messages from when we were still on really good terms over the course of a year or two. I literally broke down and cried in front of a bunch of my friends the first time I accidentally listened to all of them [it was real hard to stop after the first one]. I haven't listened to them since, but I just can't bring myself to delete them. It sucks being reminded how happy you once were, no matter how happy you are at any given moment. Hell I had it pretty good at the time, but...something about being reminded about how awesome it was to be everything to someone and feel the same way back was heartbreaking.

 

At least you understand that you're not doing what you should be doing because you don't want to do it.

Just sent out 50 openers on OKCupid. Now to send 50 more on Plenty of Fish...

 

Man, this is legitimately exhausting. Pimpin' ain't easy...

 

EDIT: (1 hour later) If I see one more profile with "Live, Laugh, and Love" or "I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure..." I'm going to lose my mind.

So, ended up hanging out with that girl from orientation Friday.

 

Two hours before I headed up there, she told me her friend would be there too.

Then I got there, and we played Uno.

 

Uno.

 

I mean we went out to eat after and hung out for a bit more but I guess we had really different ideas about what was going on there. I always seem to have problems communicating my interest to girls, the last couple times I tried the girls had absolutely no clue that I was interested in them when I talked to them about it later, lol.

One of my observations of people (including myself), is that precious few of us are as 'obvious' as we think we are. Especially if your not in a context that clarifies your intentions (a bar comes to mind, though that says more one night stand, at least to me). You'll save a lot of time and effort by upgrading from whatever you think passes for a strong hint (unless your idea of a strong hint is wearing a billboard sign), and instead try being direct. Ask her out on a date, and make it clear that this is what you are doing. When you do this is up to you, though waiting probably wont help you nearly as much as you think it will, and if you wait long enough someone will beat you to the punch.

Just sent out 50 openers on OKCupid. Now to send 50 more on Plenty of Fish...

 

Man, this is legitimately exhausting. Pimpin' ain't easy...

 

EDIT: (1 hour later) If I see one more profile with "Live, Laugh, and Love" or "I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure..." I'm going to lose my mind.

 

How about YOLO? :P

I find life really frustrating sometimes. The past week me and my friends have been going out pretty much every night, and i would see Claire pretty much every night when i got back home. There's something about it that just gave me so much more confidence. Knowing that even if i do not end up having a good time at whatever bar we might be going to, i'll end up having a good time when i see Claire later that night. It's given me so much confidence that i would randomly strike up conversations with people while getting a drink at the bar, or people would actually come up to me and talk to me. Last night we were at a club/bar. Me and my friend were in a really good mood and we decided we were going to make complete fools of ourselves and go dance. Out of nowhere, while dancing, i somehow accidentally started a dance-off. It was hilarious because i'm by no means a great dancer but the guy felt he had something to prove so i decided i would play along. It's something i would have never really done before because i would be so afraid of what people might think of me, but i just don't care anymore and i think i showed that. People were cheering and it felt pretty cool, i'm not going to lie. After that i saw a girl get up from the table she was sitting at and walk straight at me. At first i didn't think she was really coming towards me but i kept kind of looking at her and it became clear that she was walking right to me. She came over to me and grabbed my hand and started dancing with me. Again i decided "[bleep] it, i'm gonna dance no matter how stupid i look". 2 or 3 songs later i told her i was going to get a drink and asked her if she would like to join me. I got us both a drink and we went outside to the patio area to catch some fresh air. We talked and she said she was sorry for randomly dancing with me it just looked like i was having such a good time she wanted to meet me. She ended up giving me her number (it's kind of weird because i can't remember ever asking for a girls number here, they always offer to give it to me which i assume is a good thing). We talked a bit more and then i decided to get back to my friends. Earlier today she sent me a text (i kind of forgot that i met her) and asked me if i wanted to go out for coffee so she can repay me for the drink i got her last night. We went out and had a pretty good time. She was a bit hard to talk to for some reason. The conversation wasn't exactly as flowing as i would have liked but it was still kind of nice. She asked me if i wanted to see her again sometime this week to which i said yes, but i'll have to let her know when.

 

Have to admit that things are getting pretty fun. Just frustrating how, when you dont have a girl in the picture getting one in the picture can be so hard. But once there's a girl in the picture it's so easy to pick up more girls.

. Just frustrating how, when you dont have a girl in the picture getting one in the picture can be so hard. But once there's a girl in the picture it's so easy to pick up more girls.

Haha pretty much. I just find in general that when I talk to girls that I'm not interested in (either because I already have a girlfriend or because I'm not attracted to her) that I have girls falling all over me... but when I consider approaching because I'm interested in dating, I'm either too awkward or I just don't approach at all.

 

But really my issue is that I don't meet people. Seriously, now that I think of it, I literally haven't met or even talked to a new female once this summer. So yeah maybe I should get out more.

So far about a dozen girls have replied back to me. Currently trying to set up dates with them.

 

This means there's still about 80 girls who either haven't seen my message, or have seen it and chose not to reply. [bleep]in' skanks...