"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[obfuscator]

I know some people who've been successful with online dating too...but also a lot who've failed.

[Noxx]

Last night wasn't half bad. Met a lot of people. Don't really remember any of their names which i feel bad about. I've never been good with names and kept up mixing up names the whole night. People actually thought it was quite funny. But it was really not bad. Her guy friends didn't really talk to me that much. Apparently American guys here don't like us foreign guys all that much. They say we come here and take their girls. Not my fault that most of them are rednecks and none of the girls here want them (not my words, this is what Claire and her friends told me).

Her girl friends asked me a lot of questions. I felt like i was on a gameshow at one point. But they were really harmless. And very nice. It turned out to be a great night. Claire showed me a whole different side of herself. She was a lot more "loving". She was touching me a lot more than usual, showed a lot more affection. Her friends seemed to like me a lot too, which is great.

 

Also, i found out today why girl number one has been so distant. She told me that she's moving to Washington State on monday. She's known for about 10 days now (which is when things started going strange). She told me that i must hate her, etc. etc. I told her everything is fine and she need not worry about a thing, but i would like to say bye in person before she leaves. It's kind of sad that she's leaving but it's going to make things a lot more simple for me now which is really a good thing. Me and Claire had a lengthy talk last night about what was happening between her and i, and as i looked in her blue eyes i thought to myself that i can really be with her. It was a good feeling. And just the way she touches me, and kisses me. It feels good, different.

[muggiwhplar]

I'm relatively sure that the hottest girls on the dating sites have children. It's like some crazy Darwin shit or something.

[Omar]

Apparently American guys here don't like us foreign guys all that much. They say we come here and take their girls.

Are you a Viking?

[Duff]

Apparently American guys here don't like us foreign guys all that much. They say we come here and take their girls.

Are you a Viking?

I admit, when there's a viking afoot at my campus, s/he gets a lot of dirty looks. They come here thinking they can steal all our chickens and soil our quilts; we'll have none of that.

[TTanT]

^I'm American and I can't stand those goddamn mother[bleep]ing vikings stealing our women and seducing our gold.

 

@What Randox said, I'd agree wholeheartedly. I've been forced to give impromptu lectures at my karate studio several times (a parent comes in telling me their child got in a fight or swore at an adult, expecting the studio to magically fix behavior that they can't) on stuff like respect and attitude. It's terrifying and I have no idea how to avoid being too preachy and thus sounding like their parents, while still hammering down the idea that they're behaving in an unacceptable manner.

And of course I can't seem nervous or uncertain too much because I'm supposed to always be on top of things and a role model to these kids.

I'm pretty sure I still suck at it and crash and burn a lot, but the parents always thank me afterwards.

 

However, this is making me a lot better at dealing with people. Day to day interactions seem a lot less awkward after having to give 10 year olds words of wisdom.

 

OT:

 

I think I'm only good with push-pull when around people who I have no urge to date. Currently have a male friend who is almost certainly crushing on me. Meanwhile, the girls I like would never date me.

Oh well, he knows I'm straight so the angst will be his to bear silently if he does like me, and I'll manage to seduce some poor, unfortunate girl one of these days.

[Kalphite]

So I ended up hanging out with that girl I met at orientation again today. I was having a bonfire, and she drove out here (about an hour) a bit beforehand. We went out and grabbed dinner, then hung out a little more before people started showing up. Throughout the beginning of the bonfire she was talking to some of the exchange students that were at my house while I was talking to some of my other friends there, but eventually we all went for a walk and I poked her in the sides to start a conversation with her. On the way back we kept getting into these hug-grapple-things, and that continued basically until she had to leave...which granted wasn't much long after she got to my house, but still. Nice having a girl that's starting a lot of this stuff for once. I don't know if I'll end up actually seeing her again before move-in, but that's only 12 days away anyways, so it's pretty likely something can still happen there. Just feeling good right now and not really worrying about anything, lol.

 

But I sort of realized that I really don't have any clue how to go about making any progress past this point, lol; hell, the most I've done was one date and I didn't even end up kissing the chick then. I'm not down about it, I just really don't know what to do from here, lol. Is it just something that will happen if I keep attracting and hanging out with her, or is this a point where I should consciously do...something different?

[Tim]

I'm relatively sure that the hottest girls on the dating sites have children. It's like some crazy Darwin shit or something.

Nar, sounds about right. I used to browse through them seeing the kind of people and demands they had, majority of women I found my age we're the "Hot girl but has a kid who is their entire world".

 

Personally, I refuse to date/touch anyone who has kids. I'm not against kids, but I don't like the thought of being replacement daddy because they guy who knocked you up decided to leave, and the majority of friends feel the same way about it too.

 

(Mind you this was all before I met my BF and openly came out to everyone)

[Duff]

I disagree with you, Tim. I mean, the way you phrased it, it sounds like you're blaming the woman for getting knocked up and the husband leaving both her and the child. Often times the woman isn't solely to blame for this (either it's the man or their both equally to blame). And I figure that if you have a good relationship with both the child and the woman, what's wrong with dating the woman? Yeah, it isn't your kid, but you can 'make it yours' by molding it to be a good person after what you've learned. Replacement is a shitty word to use, imo. Unless the woman distinctly views you as merely a man to bring home the bacon so she can take care of her son, you're hardly a simple replacement. (I sound like an idealist in this paragraph, sorry)

 

I don't think there's anything wrong with dating/marrying a woman who has a child from a previous marriage. Of course, I'm biased because my older brother recently married such a woman. But they're happy as hell, and her kid didn't stop him from loving her. They all get along great, and my older brother is very good for her child because he (the child) has some problems and my older brother knows exactly how to deal with them.

 

Personally, I would be careful in dating a woman with a child simply because 1) it may show a bit of irresponsibility (emphasis on 'may') and 2) instead of having one person to impress/please/get along with/[love, for those considering marriage], you have two. You can't just have the woman or the child. They come in a package, so you have to get along with both or else it isn't going to work.

 

sorry if this was all jumbled. I wrote it pretty quick

[RpgGamer]

I remember you folks talked me out of chasing a girl with a kid once. No regrets, but I still feel that in some situations it's really not too big a deal as long as you're mature about it. Dating a 16 year old mom still leaves a funny taste in my mouth, but after a certain age as Tim and Muggi have pointed out - most attractive girls will have attempted [intentionally or otherwise] to start a family with someone else. They shouldn't be judged for having a kid until you know the exact circumstance which said single mom is in.

 

I figure once I get myself a salary job I can start chasing moms. Til then, I prefer them dependent-less.

[Omar]

How old are you, Rpg? I'd still recommend against it, but that's probably because I'm 17.

[obfuscator]

It totally depends on the situation. If you're old enough to be a father figure, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. It's when you're not that's the issue, and you are too young to be a father figure (imo).

 

If you're 25+, I see no problem to dating someone with a child. You do have to know what you're getting into though.

[Estonian dude]

Sorry to be a bit out of time, but who are the Vikings you were referring to on the last page? Do you mean tall, pretty, blond dudes from Scandinavia and so?

[TTanT]

Sorry to be a bit out of time, but who are the Vikings you were referring to on the last page? Do you mean tall, pretty, blond dudes from Scandinavia and so?

 

Norsemen in longboats and horned hats who attack us with axes.

[obfuscator]

Sorry to be a bit out of time, but who are the Vikings you were referring to on the last page? Do you mean tall, pretty, blond dudes from Scandinavia and so?

 

What else are vikings? :P

[Duff]

Sorry to be a bit out of time, but who are the Vikings you were referring to on the last page? Do you mean tall, pretty, blond dudes from Scandinavia and so?

 

Norsemen in longboats and horned hats who attack us with axes.

 

These men!!

 

 

Also, back to women with children, I agree completely with Obf. Age plays a large part because the older you are, the more likely you'll have a stable income and the more likely you'll be able to take on the responsibility of a wife and a child. I would find it odd to date a 17 or 18 year old who has a child already. It's definitely a turn-off for me at my age (20), but that doesn't guarantee anything about the type of woman she is. But at ages 25+ (like Obf said), it may be more common finding single women with children than without.

[Estonian dude]

Guess I'd have to move to 'Murica for easy girls then.

[muggiwhplar]

I've sent messages to girls with kids... like I said, they're hot >_>

 

If I were to get into a serious relationship (regardless of poly or mono) with a mom, I wouldn't try to "parent" her kids. Sure I'd be there and play with them if she wanted me to, but I'd let her have 100% of the power over the kids and make all the decisions, even if I disagree with them. I doubt her kids would appreciate me acting like their father.

[obfuscator]

It all depends on what she wants I guess. I imagine a lot of kids would like a father figure if they don't have one..

[muggiwhplar]

Yeah. I'm sure most kids would want a father figure, but wouldn't necessarily want me to be that father figure... at least not while I'm dating their mom >_>

 

But like you said, it depends.

[Tim]

I'm bad with wording, I have no objections TO Teen mothers, it's just something that I'm not comfortable with. (my sister being one of them, minus still with her BF)

 

It totally depends on the situation. If you're old enough to be a father figure, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. It's when you're not that's the issue, and you are too young to be a father figure (imo).

 

If you're 25+, I see no problem to dating someone with a child. You do have to know what you're getting into though.

 

That's one of the things that also put me on perspective with young moms, If I was to have a kid, I don't want one until I'm well over 25+ and in a secured financial environment. I've seen so many friends fall apart because they weren't prepared both emotionally and money-wise.

[RpgGamer]

Guess I'd have to move to 'Murica for easy girls then.

 

Want to trade houses for a bit? I'd love to see all these lovely lasses of your homeland you keep mentioning. You can have all these 'murrica chicks all to yourself haha. Enjoy the blonde oompa loompas for me.

 

@duff

 

Age of Empires II <3:

Game was my shit for YEARS

 

@Omar

I'll be 21 in 6 months.

[Duff]

@duff

 

Age of Empires II <3:

Game was my shit for YEARS

Hell yah, bro! That was the first game I started staying up super late playing. My first video game addiction. <3:

[RpgGamer]

semi-content warning:

 

[hide]

[/hide]

 

Hilarious satirical commentary with just enough truth to hit home.

[Furah]

Been a while since I've been here, and I've come seeking advice.

 

Just a little pre-text for people who don't stalk me, I'm 20 and generally considered very emotionally detached and competitive. My girlfriend is 18 and very dependant on me, doesn't really have any friends apart from who I hang out with when she's around. She also gets extremely aggressive, especially when driving or when people ask her to do something.

 

Recently I've been getting really irritated with my girlfriend's dependency on me. I've tried talking with her about it, but it either ends up back to square one after a few days or weeks, or I get yelled at. After work all she wants to do is come over because of something like she's had a hard day, she's stressed out, or because she really misses me, but all she does is take over my bed and just sleep. So it just inconveniences me just so for those 30 seconds before she falls asleep she knows that I'm near her. I still live at home (medical reasons cost me my job so the money I saved up to move out with went to whatever expenses I have,) so it's not like when I go to bed I hop in with her.

 

She also sends me a text or tells me every few weeks that I'm the best thing to ever happen to her, and that she doesn't know what she'd do without me. This is something that I'm not ok with, because it is both kind of creepy and makes me feel like I have a duty to make sure I never do anything that could cause the relationship to end, e.g. die or break up with her.

 

Her anger issues are also very terrifying, because she is an aggressive driver and has major road rage issues. If someone pisses her off she'll actively drive dangerously to make them back off or scare them. She also does things that scare me, like break suddenly, and very late, along with tailgate, all things she goes off at other drivers for doing.

 

Something in the back of me tells me she's not worth it, but she's about the only thing I am emotionally attached to, and I feel like it's a bit of an extreme action to do. What do you guys think?

 

Guess I'd have to move to 'Murica for easy girls then.

 

Keep that accent you'll have, and you'll find that wherever you go to, having a different accent makes you mysterious and extremely attractive to women.