Well that's fair.

 

 

 

But I hope you don't tell her you want to be with her forever. That's bound to scare her off even if she might feel the same. If you must, just tell her that you want to be with her as long as you can.

Alright, thanks. I hope it works out.. :(

I say buy her a teddy bear with the same jacket that she's wearing in the photo. Everyone loves teddy bears in stylish jackets.

I thought it was [bleep]ing love. i just talked to her and she told me she really doesnt wanna be together anymore and she just wants to be friends and she said whatever happens in the future happens. I know we'll never get together again and im so [bleep]ing pissed at myself for being so [bleep]ing gay! I THOUGHT IT WAS REAL I'm so stupid! OMFG!

 

 

 

sorry im just really sad

 

:(y sad right now :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

Mate, I'm, or we're, really sorry to hear it :(

 

You don't have to aplogise, your emotionally distorted. I hope that you two will go out soon again in the future, for your sake :thumbup:

I thought it was [bleep] love. i just talked to her and she told me she really doesnt wanna be together anymore and she just wants to be friends and she said whatever happens in the future happens. I know we'll never get together again and im so [bleep] pissed at myself for being so [bleep] gay! I THOUGHT IT WAS REAL I'm so stupid! OMFG!

 

 

 

sorry im just really sad

 

:(y sad right now :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

 

 

 

Don't be too hard on yourself. Everyones first love thinks its their only one. It's because its their first, they have no experience to compare it to, so they think its the best. Don't worry, you'll have bigger and better things.

 

Don't be too hard on yourself. Everyones first love thinks its their only one. It's because its their first, they have no experience to compare it to, so they think its the best. Don't worry, you'll have bigger and better things.

 

 

 

Adding on to that, for a while you'll think she was the best you could ever do. But eventually you'll find someone else that catches your eye and your ex won't seem quite as amazing as she used to. You may even grow to dislike her for the pain she just caused you, but try to remain friends if you can and be mature about it. On top of all that, this is a stressful period of time. Find a good way to release that stress/anger. Avoid causing harm to yourself over this, I know from personal experience that it's not usually worth it.

[inappropriate]

 

 

 

Lol, sorry.

Also, try to avoid cliche emotional crutches such as drugs and alcohol. Only makes things worse ;)

Also, try to avoid cliche emotional crutches such as drugs and alcohol. Only makes things worse ;)

 

 

 

They only make you feel better while the effects are happening. The pain is still there afterwards. And you might become dependent on these things to get you through hard times (like me) or even to get you through just a day (like my brother who seems to have a bit of a drug problem).

Alright, I just need to vent quick:

 

 

 

[hide=]To start off, I'm a very insecure and jealous guy thanks to my first gf cheating on me. I can't get over the thought that nobody is ever going to be loyal to me. Also note that I often talk to my current gf via text, phone, or online because we live nearly a half hour apart so it's not always possible to see each other.

 

 

 

So today started out bad. I had essentially a lucid dream to the point that I controlled what I did, but didn't realize I was dreaming. In the dream my gf broke up with me and as the dream continued it led up me to laying down in my bed, feeling terrible, and closing my eyes. This transitioned into me waking up in the exact position I dreamed I was in with everything around me exactly the same all the way up to me honestly thinking my gf had broken up with me. In the dream she had done it via text but I didn't think of checking my texts until I was about to hit the emotional crutches and drown out the pain for a while. Luckily I checked my texts and the last one i had gotten from her was her saying goodnight and that she loved me. Thank god she hadn't actually broke up with me but the feeling has stuck around all day.

 

 

 

Then she got online and she didn't have a lot to say (which is really odd) and she told me she didn't want to hang out tonight (we had plans from nearly a week ago). So I felt like [cabbage] and it just got a little worse. But I wasn't going to be an [wagon] about it so I just told her it was fine and went on. Eventually she decided she wanted to hang out with her friends and told me we were going to go ahead with the plans because she wanted to hang out with her friends. The underlined completely pissed me off. She's only going to hang out with me because she wants to hang out wit her friends and knows I'll find out that she's off with her friends? (<- My best friend is going, with or without me, and he tells me basically everything). I mean I'm glad we're hanging out but I don't want her to feel obligated to hang out with me, I'm just not like that.

 

------------------------------

 

 

 

And then there's a friend of hers that I absolutely cannot stand. He reminds me of myself in my sophomore year, although he's a freshman in college. He's incredibly immature (more so than myself, and I think I'm fairly immature) and likes to flirt with my gf in a very sexual manner. One day my gf invited me to a chat room with the both of them and I don't think he noticed I was there because he started in with saying some really sexual things. I guess she usually goes along with it and kinda makes fun of him for it but she mentioned to him it probably wasn't a good idea to be saying those kinds of things. I took the chance to chime in, insure that he knew I was there, and I didn't really hear anything out of him for the rest of the night. I haven't been in a chat room with them since, but I'm sure he continues to do it and it pisses me off.

 

----------------------------

 

 

 

Then there's another guy friend of hers. I'm pretty sure he asked her out after I was already dating her and when she said no and mentioned she was dating me he started complaining that he knew her first, as if that gives him dibs. I think he's also the guy who always mentions how he misses her, yet they go to the same school and see each other daily while I may only see her two or three times in a week.

 

---------------------------

 

 

 

A few nights ago she pretended to break up with me. She didn't let it go on for more than a few minutes but it killed me a little inside and I'm sure this accounts for the dream I had. Also included with dying a little inside.. One night I told her I was getting offline to go to bed (it was 2AM, I was tired, and I didn't want to fall asleep in school) and she didn't want me to. I explained I was tired and she finally just said fine and said she was going to talk to some other guy all night (who apparently likes to show me up by staying awake until her and her sister get offline). As I said, I'm very insecure and that really hurt..

 

--------------------------

 

 

 

I guess her last bf was pretty emotionally abusive. He hated when she would try to talk about anything that was bothering her or on her mind. So she began just bottling them up and closing everyone out. Well I'm the opposite. If she has something on her mind I want to hear about it. If she has a problem, I want to help her solve it. I guess I feel like I should be there more for her since I'm older and I've been through some of the [cabbage] she's going through.[/hide]

 

 

 

Now I feel kind of bad that I can write that much about the negatives of her/dating her. But I could probably write 10x as much positive.

Let us deal with this piece by piece. Big problems are often easier in bitesized chunks. That's what the BBC told me during my GCSEs anyway. :?

 

So today started out bad. I had essentially a lucid dream to the point that I controlled what I did, but didn't realize I was dreaming. In the dream my gf broke up with me and as the dream continued it led up me to laying down in my bed, feeling terrible, and closing my eyes. This transitioned into me waking up in the exact position I dreamed I was in with everything around me exactly the same all the way up to me honestly thinking my gf had broken up with me. In the dream she had done it via text but I didn't think of checking my texts until I was about to hit the emotional crutches and drown out the pain for a while. Luckily I checked my texts and the last one i had gotten from her was her saying goodnight and that she loved me. Thank god she hadn't actually broke up with me but the feeling has stuck around all day.

 

 

 

Then she got online and she didn't have a lot to say (which is really odd) and she told me she didn't want to hang out tonight (we had plans from nearly a week ago). So I felt like [cabbage] and it just got a little worse. But I wasn't going to be an [wagon] about it so I just told her it was fine and went on. Eventually she decided she wanted to hang out with her friends and told me we were going to go ahead with the plans because she wanted to hang out with her friends. The underlined completely pissed me off. She's only going to hang out with me because she wants to hang out wit her friends and knows I'll find out that she's off with her friends? (<- My best friend is going, with or without me, and he tells me basically everything). I mean I'm glad we're hanging out but I don't want her to feel obligated to hang out with me, I'm just not like that.

 

Can't you see that's what you are demanding though? I'm gonna hazard a guess and say that your insecurities about the status of the relationship between you and her have flared up in the past, because usually, those sorts of things are really noticeable and they stick on people's minds. She's put into a situation where she either hangs out with you to make you feel good, even if that's not something she wants to do, or else she doesn't hang around with you and you get worked up. It's not a nice choice for her to make.

 

 

 

I think you're too obsessed over this girl. And fine, OK, I'm not saying that's a bad thing. But you have to step back and realise that not everything you do in life has to be done with her in mind. What's wrong with letting her go out with her friends, and you and your best mate can go do something else completely unrelated? If you did that, and just left some space to breathe between the two of you I think you'd both find it much easier to deal with. That involves not texting her all the time too.

 

 

 

If you love her, trust her. If she's worth anything, if the relationship was ever gonna go anywhere in the first place, she's going nowhere else but you.

 

 

 

And then there's a friend of hers that I absolutely cannot stand. He reminds me of myself in my sophomore year, although he's a freshman in college. He's incredibly immature (more so than myself, and I think I'm fairly immature) and likes to flirt with my gf in a very sexual manner. One day my gf invited me to a chat room with the both of them and I don't think he noticed I was there because he started in with saying some really sexual things. I guess she usually goes along with it and kinda makes fun of him for it but she mentioned to him it probably wasn't a good idea to be saying those kinds of things. I took the chance to chime in, insure that he knew I was there, and I didn't really hear anything out of him for the rest of the night. I haven't been in a chat room with them since, but I'm sure he continues to do it and it pisses me off.

 

I'm sure it means nothing, although I understand it can provoke you. In all honesty, the only thing you can do is talk to her about it and seek reassurance he's not up to something. I'm sure she'll set you straight. Again, if you love her, trust her. Telling her to stop this friendship because you don't feel comfortable with it is just plain selfish and shows you as the complete gutless wonder you would be for doing so.

 

 

 

Then there's another guy friend of hers. I'm pretty sure he asked her out after I was already dating her and when she said no and mentioned she was dating me he started complaining that he knew her first, as if that gives him dibs. I think he's also the guy who always mentions how he misses her, yet they go to the same school and see each other daily while I may only see her two or three times in a week.

 

Right... so she knew him before you, he's asked her out, she sees him everyday and she still isn't going out with him. What does that tell you? She's not interested, and no matter how much he tries to protest about that, her mind ain't changing. From the looks of things, from her actions and his attitude problem (treating her like some object you can call dibs on) it won't ever.

 

 

 

A few nights ago she pretended to break up with me. She didn't let it go on for more than a few minutes but it killed me a little inside and I'm sure this accounts for the dream I had. Also included with dying a little inside.. One night I told her I was getting offline to go to bed (it was 2AM, I was tired, and I didn't want to fall asleep in school) and she didn't want me to. I explained I was tired and she finally just said fine and said she was going to talk to some other guy all night (who apparently likes to show me up by staying awake until her and her sister get offline). As I said, I'm very insecure and that really hurt..

 

THEN TELL HER! I don't mean to cause offence because I acted very much like this with my last relationship so I'm no better. But Jesus, there's clearly a problem with the way you trust her and the way you pick up on what she's saying. In all honesty, being someone who is entirely seeing this with no emotional connections, I think you've nothing to worry about. She seems to be a playful person who likes winding you up and getting you to laugh at yourself, but never means it in a malicious way. Sometimes, those intentions can be misinterpreted as something else, but if she didn't want to be with you, she wouldn't be.

 

 

 

From the way you describe, she strikes me as the kind of person who wouldn't mind you being that insecure and would actually appreciate it if you just said what you think so she knows where she stands and where the boundaries are.

 

 

 

I guess her last bf was pretty emotionally abusive. He hated when she would try to talk about anything that was bothering her or on her mind. So she began just bottling them up and closing everyone out. Well I'm the opposite. If she has something on her mind I want to hear about it. If she has a problem, I want to help her solve it. I guess I feel like I should be there more for her since I'm older and I've been through some of the [cabbage] she's going through.

 

I could tell the bolded bit from the rest of the post without needing to look at that sentence.

 

 

 

Still, you have to recognise that she has that wall up for a reason, and if she felt like you were trying to learn everything about her, she'd fell immensely uncomfortable with that, to the point where she would start having problems. You mean well, no one's doubting that, but you have to give her that space, for her own wellbeing.

 

 

 

Secondly, you admit it annoys you when she doesn't admit her emotions to you, and then you persist in doing the same back. I bet you had plenty on your mind after that IM conversation, after she said she was going out with mates, but I also bet you've not told her anything about those feelings. Probably through fear of upsetting her, I don't know, but still, you haven't.

 

 

 

Now I feel kind of bad that I can write that much about the negatives of her/dating her. But I could probably write 10x as much positive.

 

As you said, you're insecure. It's your mind exaggerating any negative emotions, in order to evoke a response. You need to find some way of coping with that.

 

 

 

On a personal level, I'm quite emotionally unstable and I find it incredibly difficult to accept and contemplate rejection. I recently went for a job interview, got turned down, I went home, played depressing music for a whole hour and spent the whole of the next day locked up in my room playing computer games, refusing to talk to anyone I didn't need to. It wasn't even like the rejection was a reflection on me - I could do the job easily, I had the time, I had shown my commitment, I handed in a good CV and I did a good interview - it was just circumstances beyond my control meant they couldn't offer me a job

 

 

 

I have coping strategies when things get really bad though.

 

 

 

One of those is writing. I can write and write for hours about my emotions and it doesn't trouble me. In fact, once I get started, it just flows naturally and I can start to slot everything into place. You seem to be a good writer, give it a try. It just removes all the bad energy, gets it off your chest. You feel like you've released it, but no one's been hurt because you just throw away the piece of paper and it's over.

 

 

 

Another thing I have is music. If I start listening to sad and slow songs, then slowly pick up the tempo and mood, I lift myself out of it. I used to play drums and ironically I actually found that relaxed me too. I think maybe the sound of a constant, regular beat calms you down.

 

 

 

Also, using anger constructively helps me. See the Brawl signature I have? I made it when I was feeling down. The feeling of creating that siggy, and giving it to other people to build up the Brawl Club's reputation was great. Really recreational.

 

 

 

Other people like food, drawing, sports, exercise... you name it. Whatever suits you. When you get wound up, just do those things for a while, while you gather your thoughts, and then talk about it calmly with those you're wound up with. If you feel yourself getting out of control, walk away from the situation to calm down.

 

 

 

Most importantly though, you need to get this into your head: Just because she doesn't want to spend time with you, doesn't mean that she wants to end the relationship. She needs space.

 

Can't you see that's what you are demanding though? I'm gonna hazard a guess and say that your insecurities about the status of the relationship between you and her have flared up in the past, because usually, those sorts of things are really noticeable and they stick on people's minds. She's put into a situation where she either hangs out with you to make you feel good, even if that's not something she wants to do, or else she doesn't hang around with you and you get worked up. It's not a nice choice for her to make.

 

 

 

I've actually never really had anything like it happen before. When she said she didn't want to hang out I told her it was fine. When she mentioned she was gonna hang out with her friends and suddenly she figured I was gonna hang out I admit was a bit of an [wagon] and made a comment about it. I guess what bothered me the most was I felt the only reason she even bothered having me hang out too was because two of the people going to the movie with the group were two of my best friends.

 

 

 

Telling her to stop this friendship because you don't feel comfortable with it is just plain selfish and shows you as the complete gutless wonder you would be for doing so.

 

 

 

I would never tell her to stop the friendship for my own insecurities. I told her sister if the guy started doing that face-to-face with her and I was right there, he would end up getting his [wagon] kicked.

 

 

 

Then there's another guy friend of hers. I'm pretty sure he asked her out after I was already dating her and when she said no and mentioned she was dating me he started complaining that he knew her first, as if that gives him dibs. I think he's also the guy who always mentions how he misses her, yet they go to the same school and see each other daily while I may only see her two or three times in a week.

 

Right... so she knew him before you, he's asked her out, she sees him everyday and she still isn't going out with him. What does that tell you? She's not interested, and no matter how much he tries to protest about that, her mind ain't changing. From the looks of things, from her actions and his attitude problem (treating her like some object you can call dibs on) it won't ever.

 

 

 

I forgot to mention one thing about this guy. He invited her to a college party this weekend where he mentioned there would be weed, alcohol, and sex (he made emphasis on the sex, also she would be the youngest and only female). She talked to me about it one night and wanted my opinion (made me feel amazing). I told her I was fine with her going but if anyone tried anything sexual her friend would be taking them to the ER when I found out. I've always been very against guys using alcohol as an excuse to try sexual things without repercussions (because I've been drunk quite a few times and I know it doesn't make you act like that). I take it very seriously when it involves someone close to me.

 

 

 

 

THEN TELL HER! I don't mean to cause offence because I acted very much like this with my last relationship so I'm no better. But Jesus, there's clearly a problem with the way you trust her and the way you pick up on what she's saying. In all honesty, being someone who is entirely seeing this with no emotional connections, I think you've nothing to worry about. She seems to be a playful person who likes winding you up and getting you to laugh at yourself, but never means it in a malicious way. Sometimes, those intentions can be misinterpreted as something else, but if she didn't want to be with you, she wouldn't be.

 

 

 

Alright, I did tell her about the dream I had just a bit ago. She was apologetic because she assumed it had to do with the joke from the other day. Yes, she is incredibly playful. It's actually odd for us to be serious about much. And you make a very good point in your last sentence.

 

 

 

From the way you describe, she strikes me as the kind of person who wouldn't mind you being that insecure and would actually appreciate it if you just said what you think so she knows where she stands and where the boundaries are.

 

 

 

I don't think she would mind me being insecure much either, but at the same time I hate the fact that I'm insecure and I hate to admit to to any irl. We've talked about it and she's admitted that she can be jealous and I admitted that I can be. She told me any time I feel like something isn't right to just mention it to her. And I have once but if I mentioned it every time my mind ran wild I don't think I would have her around anymore..

 

 

 

 

Still, you have to recognise that she has that wall up for a reason, and if she felt like you were trying to learn everything about her, she'd fell immensely uncomfortable with that, to the point where she would start having problems. You mean well, no one's doubting that, but you have to give her that space, for her own wellbeing.

 

 

 

I know I should give her that space but at the same time a few of the things she's mentioned (that were bothering her) were things that I had done or something about our relationship. I've also found her mind seems to run wild at times too.

 

 

 

Secondly, you admit it annoys you when she doesn't admit her emotions to you, and then you persist in doing the same back. I bet you had plenty on your mind after that IM conversation, after she said she was going out with mates, but I also bet you've not told her anything about those feelings. Probably through fear of upsetting her, I don't know, but still, you haven't.

 

 

 

I guess I really have trouble admitting her emotions because I've never had a gf that actually cares about them. My first gf ended up cheating on me and only wanted to be with me for sexual purposes, my second gf was suicidal and I had to deal with keeping her from killing herself while not saying anything to upset her, and my third gf again was only with me for sexual purposes. I ended up dating my second gf a second time around after she cleaned up her act but all we ever did was party together and that ended quickly. Now I've found someone who actually cares about me and it's like I'm starting all over. A lot of things are new to me until we end up in a bed, then I've got most of the experience there.

 

 

 

 

On a personal level, I'm quite emotionally unstable and I find it incredibly difficult to accept and contemplate rejection. I recently went for a job interview, got turned down, I went home, played depressing music for a whole hour and spent the whole of the next day locked up in my room playing computer games, refusing to talk to anyone I didn't need to. It wasn't even like the rejection was a reflection on me - I could do the job easily, I had the time, I had shown my commitment, I handed in a good CV and I did a good interview - it was just circumstances beyond my control meant they couldn't offer me a job

 

 

 

That's a shame man and I know how that goes. I've been rejected from jobs as well and I'm like you and have a hard time handling rejection.

 

 

 

I have coping strategies when things get really bad though.

 

 

 

You seem to be a good writer, give it a try.

 

 

 

I will :)

 

 

 

Another thing I have is music. If I start listening to sad and slow songs, then slowly pick up the tempo and mood, I lift myself out of it. I used to play drums and ironically I actually found that relaxed me too. I think maybe the sound of a constant, regular beat calms you down.

 

 

 

Music has a huge impact on my emotions. I can be having an amazing day and a really sad song can bring me down. But it always seems harder getting back up.

 

 

 

Most importantly though, you need to get this into your head: Just because she doesn't want to spend time with you, doesn't mean that she wants to end the relationship. She needs space.

 

 

 

I know. It's just hard for me because of the distance and how little we get to see each other, then for her to call off plans we made a week before and just want to hang out with her friends. If she would have mentioned a day or two earlier it wouldn't have been as big of a deal because I could have found someone else to hang out with, but when she does it just an hour or two before we were supposed to go do whatever then I'm pretty much stuck flying solo for the night.

 

 

 

Thanks for all that Ginger. Knowing how long it can take to sit there and type that all out makes it mean all the more to me :)

Alright, I just need to vent quick:

 

 

 

I would try to offer some advice but it's already been said in Ginger's post, but i'd like to add that I went through something similar to what you're going through and that you have my sympathies. But like Ginger said, try talking to her about it. I didn't in my situation and the worst case scenario ended up happening, so don't make the mistake I did.

I am the representative for Billy Joel. My client would like to say:

 

 

 

Tell her about it, tell her everything you feel

 

Tell her about it, let her know that you're for reaaaaal.

 

 

 

That will be all.

Deloriagod,

 

 

 

I'm no love expert but you sound exactly like me. You're really paranoid because your first girlfriend cheated on you, which is exactly like me, but I didn't find out until after we broke up from some other reason.

 

 

 

When you're paranoid it's easy to find flaws and just make big deals out of them. Making a mountain out of a molehill.

 

 

 

If you're getting really annoyed with these guys then politely tell them to back off, or tell your girlfriend that they're getting on your nerves. If she really understands you then she'll tell them to back off, or not talk to them as often.

 

 

 

If you're feeling a little down about it and feel you can't talk to her, then talk to some of your mates, or her mates. They'll show you the good points of your relationship and balance things out nicely.

 

 

 

Overall, you just need a healthy dose of nice things to balance out the bad things every now and again. And of course try not to over-react to anything relatively small, I know quite a few girls who when guys say something even slightly out of line they go off the handle.

 

 

 

Like I said, i'm no expert :P

 

Li Chef

Deloriagod,

 

 

 

I'm no love expert but you sound exactly like me. You're really paranoid because your first girlfriend cheated on you, which is exactly like me, but I didn't find out until after we broke up from some other reason.

 

 

 

When you're paranoid it's easy to find flaws and just make big deals out of them. Making a mountain out of a molehill.

 

 

 

If you're getting really annoyed with these guys then politely tell them to back off, or tell your girlfriend that they're getting on your nerves. If she really understands you then she'll tell them to back off, or not talk to them as often.

 

 

 

If you're feeling a little down about it and feel you can't talk to her, then talk to some of your mates, or her mates. They'll show you the good points of your relationship and balance things out nicely.

 

 

 

Overall, you just need a healthy dose of nice things to balance out the bad things every now and again. And of course try not to over-react to anything relatively small, I know quite a few girls who when guys say something even slightly out of line they go off the handle.

 

 

 

Like I said, i'm no expert :P

 

Li Chef

 

 

 

'tis why you shut the [bleep] up in a relationship.

 

 

 

Listen, mate, girls are vastly overrated until you're old enough to get into a relationship that has potential for two things: marriage and sex (preferably in that order. Early sex is tragically detrimental to a healthy relationship.)

 

 

 

There's other fish in the sea. That's important to remember...just remember that, pretty much, no matter how old you are, there's always other potential. If you ask me, a soul-mate that early is impossible, and really, soul-mates are vastly overrated. I feel that, with a planet with 8,000,000,000 people, there's gotta be ONE other that you can fall head-over-heels in love with.

 

 

 

And like I said, high school and middle school flings are just little tiddly-winks (lolwut?) for the micro-management amusement of both parties involved. In short: they're for kicks and giggles. It's fun, and it's tragic that she cheated on you, but if -she- believes that she was actually in love enough with another person to abandon you, then that's sadistically entertaining, and quite sad on her part.

 

 

 

Live on, brother.

marriage and sex (preferably in that order. Early sex is tragically detrimental to a healthy relationship.)

 

Disagreed. Sexual compatibility is a large part of a relationship, and I believe you shouldn't be entering a large commitment such as marriage without knowing your partners wants and needs.

 

 

 

Plus, I don't see how sex in a relationship is detrimental at all. Sex in a healthy relationship should bring the couple closer. If it doesn't the relationship was never healthy in the first place, but you can't blame that on sex.

 

 

high school and middle school flings are just little tiddly-winks (lolwut?) for the micro-management amusement of both parties involved. In short: they're for kicks and giggles.

 

 

 

Also disagreed. High school relationships are the same as any relationship. The only difference is that both parties in that relationship are usually too inexperienced to keep it working, regardless of how compatible the couple is.

 

But they aren't just for nothing. They are to gain that experience so that you can survive in a long term relationship.

marriage and sex (preferably in that order. Early sex is tragically detrimental to a healthy relationship.)

 

Disagreed. Sexual compatibility is a large part of a relationship, and I believe you shouldn't be entering a large commitment such as marriage without knowing your partners wants and needs.

 

 

 

Plus, I don't see how sex in a relationship is detrimental at all. Sex in a healthy relationship should bring the couple closer. If it doesn't the relationship was never healthy in the first place, but you can't blame that on sex.

 

 

high school and middle school flings are just little tiddly-winks (lolwut?) for the micro-management amusement of both parties involved. In short: they're for kicks and giggles.

 

 

 

Also disagreed. High school relationships are the same as any relationship. The only difference is that both parties in that relationship are usually too inexperienced to keep it working, regardless of how compatible the couple is.

 

But they aren't just for nothing. They are to gain that experience so that you can survive in a long term relationship.

 

 

 

I stand corrected (largely) on my second point: you're right. It is for experience. However, I still must point out that one shouldn't obsess too much about a loss in High School. I agree with you, it's practice, but then, that's all it is. Practice. Don't expect to get married or anything, though it has happened (though rarely.)

 

 

 

As for my first point...I feel that, by the time you get married, you should know your partner well enough that your first sexual encounter, post-marital, should be as magical, if not more, than any pre-marital.

As for my first point...I feel that, by the time you get married, you should know your partner well enough that your first sexual encounter, post-marital, should be as magical, if not more, than any pre-marital.

 

Haha, and if it's not?

As for my first point...I feel that, by the time you get married, you should know your partner well enough that your first sexual encounter, post-marital, should be as magical, if not more, than any pre-marital.

 

Haha, and if it's not?

 

Do a barrel roll

As for my first point...I feel that, by the time you get married, you should know your partner well enough that your first sexual encounter, post-marital, should be as magical, if not more, than any pre-marital.

 

Haha, and if it's not?

 

Do a barrel roll

 

 

 

GENTLEMEN!? *100s of cigarettes in mouth*

I stand corrected (largely) on my second point: you're right. It is for experience. However, I still must point out that one shouldn't obsess too much about a loss in High School. I agree with you, it's practice, but then, that's all it is. Practice. Don't expect to get married or anything, though it has happened (though rarely.)

 

 

 

As for my first point...I feel that, by the time you get married, you should know your partner well enough that your first sexual encounter, post-marital, should be as magical, if not more, than any pre-marital.

 

 

 

I don't see how your point is relevant to whether or not one should have sex before or after marriage. Somehow you have weighted sex after marriage as having some particularly greater level of satisfaction than sex before marriage. I think the logical argument to draw out of what you have offered is that sex should be undertaken by two individuals only if they know each other well enough. This point, I stress, is INDIVIDUAL of whether or not one is married. Merely because one is marrying someone does not signify that they know their partner well.

Sex should be between two people that trust one another and respect each others' wishes, not just two people getting horny with each other. While young teenagers tend to delude themselves into thinking they meet those prerequisites, it is perfectly possible for two 16/17 year olds to have sex with it actually meaning something. The only way you'll ever know if sex means something to you is if you experience it for yourself, and it makes sense to do that with someone special before putting yourself into all sorts of legal and emotional bonds.

 

 

 

Marriage certainly is not a prerequisite for sex. Indeed, sex helps to psychologically build relationships if done responsibly, not destroy them.

Hey sup,

 

 

 

figured this might belong here and I am not feeling like creating new threads about it, so...

 

 

 

There is this kid in high school that goes into the same class as I do. It has been for three years, and his demented jokes always trigger some wave of hate against me within my fellow students. He bugs me all the time whenever he sees me and god help me if I look his way.

 

I mean, this has been going for three long years, our class teacher told him about it that he shouldn't do it like three times, but he always resumed after a month or so.

 

 

 

Now, a new ( 3rd ) grade has begun for our class in september, and I have been educating myself with materials that could turn me from a complete p_ssy to a confident man and I have to say I really improved in life. Now don't take me as a fool, I live without my dad for like 7 years and the time spent in womens' raising have made me soft as a ... Uhm, I don't know what could be the right comparison to soft =D

 

However, the kid was still abusing me for few months, I could have dealt with him by beating the living brown substance out of him, but I would be expelled from the school for that. Also, I am not a very violent type.

 

 

 

Today was one of the breaking points when we came into our class and he was like "lol it stinks here because MC_Kejml farted here" and his lackeys - OF COURSE - believed him, so a long scene with open windows and expeditions from the class went on, the teacher at that class was like O_o wtf. Of course, I didn't do such thing.

 

 

 

However, I went to our class teacher, the person who should settle these matters, but she refused to help me, since he hates me now when I am confident, not the king [bleep]less of [kitty] more I was for the years past. I do not act too overconfident though, I am just your average Joe and if I started behaving that way when I came into that school, I'd be considered the cool kid that you can talk with anytime.

 

 

 

So my question is, how can I be helped? When there is no help at school, who can I turn to? My parents wouldn't give a [cabbage], too. I could try the school confidant or the principal, but going to the confidant and explaining my troubles just sounds... Odd.

 

I don't know.

 

 

 

Thanks in advance for all the ideas. Try not to tell how should I fix my behaviour, since I DO NOT DISTURB NOR TALK NOR PROVOKE THE DISTRUPTIVE KID ANYHOW.

 

 

 

PS: Isn't it disturbing kids do these things when they are 18 years old? Yeah...