"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[muggiwhplar]

That awkward moment when you read a girl's online dating profile description. More specifically, the part where she says she has two vaginas.

...what? Well that's a new one to me.

 

EDIT: She could make some serious dough out of that. Apparently there are lots of men out there with pretty.... unusual tastes.

 

Wait, so women can actually have 2 vaginas? How does that work? I'm kind of afraid to google it because I already accidentally discovered what vaginal prolapse* was earlier this week and I don't need any more nightmares.

*For the love of god if you're wondering what this is just enter this into Wikipedia or a dictionary and don't image search it. Use your brain.

 

[Kimberly]

The only reason I know this medical condition exists is because my mother used to watch oprah religiously and they had an entire episode talking about double-vaginas.

 

There are times when I wished time machines exist.

[RpgGamer]

I heard first about it on TV's Strange Sex. Peculiar show. Pretty sure it was the same episode as the guy with the 100 pound ball sack. I shit you not.

 

EDIT: oh lawd dat prolapse google search. It's like...I'm not sure how to describe it.

[muggiwhplar]

That'd be funny if her second vagina was on her forehead or some other comically awkward location

 

I'd be like, "Sup, Tien?"

[Ginger_Warrior]

I'm kind of sure this girl at one of the uni societies I joined likes me... but I won't see her for about month and a half, and I didn't catch her number. [bleep].

 

I know her full name but I'm not gonna FB stalk. Creeeeepy...

[RpgGamer]

Facebook stalking is the new "buy you a drink". Can't tell you how many dates I've gotten from randomly adding attractive girls my age on facebook

[Noxx]

Guys, i had a [bleep]ed up night...

 

We went out, and decided to mix things up and go somewhere we've never been. Bad idea. We get there and it's a really small whine and beer bar. Really small. Everyone around there knows everyone. Soon as we walk in faces turn, etc. They can smell we're new. We try to act cool, and some guy walks over to us and introduces himself. He's gay. When i say gay i mean really gay. Like those over the top gay guys. Those are the types i really dislike. Now i don't mind him being gay. Go for it, Be proud of it. But christ i don't need to hear it every 5 minutes. Do i remind people i'm straight every 5 minutes? No. So why should he?

Anyway, he's a nice guy. We hang out with him and his friends all night. Girls keep on coming and going. Gay guys make really good wing men. Anyway he introduces me to this girl. Really, really cute. Petite blonde girl. Really my type. But she was a bit of a freak it turned out. We went outside to have a cigarette when she told me she had none left, can she have one of mine... I had none left either. So i told her i could go to the store real quick and get some. She offers to come with me. Half way there she yells "Oh my god stop!" I paniced like [bleep] and slammed the breaks "What!?"

She said nothing i just wanted you to stop and she pretty much jumped on me and started kissing me. I'll end the story there cause it get's a bit worse.

Anyway 30 minutes later we're back at the bar and her gay friend keeps on making really awkward comments about why we took so long.

 

Night comes to an end and i'm... well exhausted. I had a pretty good night, i though. We say bye to everyone, and that's when it happened.

The gay dude said bye: "I do hugs".

I thought meh, whatever i dont care i'll hug the dude. He was cool so why not?

Yeah he tried kissing me....

He has a bit to drink, but still...

 

But yeah... fun night.

Get a gay friend, they're amazing wing men.

[muggiwhplar]

...was he hot?

[Noxx]

He was kind of attractive to be honest.

[Sir_Squab]

Hook up with him?

[Tim]

Im guessing she tried to jump "on" you in the car?

 

 

I still havent gone out yet since moving here. Looking for friends online (sadly) atm as well as when I'm out and about to start branching out.

[RpgGamer]

My gay friend might be the worst wingman I've ever had. Well...close. I've had some real crummy wingmen haha

I'm thinking the more flamboyant, the better they are. Granted the shared apeal of a gay guy and a "[bleep]tier*" girl is that I think they share a mutual bonding commonly seen friendship. [bleep]ty* girls need guys in their lives, but don't always want to be thrown into sexual tension. Gay guys provide a supportive relationship without ever making a pass. Gay guys make good wingmen for them because they know what they look for, seek it, and get it. Why? Because All straight guys know gay dudes are the bees knees at fishing for ladies at the local pub. Having the gay guy wing for you (even if you just met) is that it vouches your appreciation of liberal values, and meets gay guy's stamp of approval. This attracts girls to you because they make the association that if he's good enough to meet the gay friend's standards, surely he's good enough for her. But what does the gay guy get out of this? A network. More friends, more openess, and more interpersonal relationships. This increases the chance of meeting other gay men, in which the females are likely very good at hunting out good matches for. Probably.

 

Somewhere I lost my point in there. My point was, more sexually liberal ([bleep]ty*) ladies hang around gay men. Find a gay wingman, find the [bleep]s*.

 

* - not actuallly whorish, but more sexually liberal than your casual LoL playing female.

 

 

And the lord saw his unsober posting, and saw that this was good. Thus he shall discontinue most sober posting, and there will be much rejoicing. [bleep] resting, do whatever you want on the 7th day. Don't waste a 1/7 of your life reflecting on shit that happened thousands of years ago.

[Noxx]

Hook up with him?

 

Eww... Like i said, i'm not at all homophobic, but don't ever see myself hooking up with a guy. No... just.... no.

 

And yeah Rpg you are kind of right. Thing is i've realised that a lot of girls like having out with guys that are gay simply because they like having the male company without the constant flirting going on. And the true reason is that it's been said for a long time that girls don't want a guys opinion they just want to hear their own opinion in a deeper voice... gay guys can do this. I know it sounds really stupid, but sometimes i feel like its so true.

We went out with the guys again last night (the gay guy). He apologized for what he tried doing and i told him it was all in good fun so don't worry about it. We went to a place we usually go to and few minutes after we got there i saw the girl. This is the girl that i've mentioned a few times now ([bleep]ty girl), the one that rejected me not long ago. The gay guy seemed to know her and i told him about what happened when i tried my luck with her the one night. He laughed.

He told me he could get her to come over and i was a bit unsure if he should or not but before i could even think he walked over to her and few seconds later she was there. Now i dont know what he said to her but when she got to where we were sitting she walked right over to me and gave my a hug and asked me how i was doing.

I was confused and asked her if she remembered who i was, she giggled and said she does. Even more confused but whatever. I got up and asked her if she wanted to sit down, she said it was fine and instead sat on my lap.

She was wearing a really short dress... And it was pulling up a bit... It was awkward...

Long story short, it was a great night.

 

Edit: Also i found out im the first guy shes been with since May. Not sure if its good or bad, but it felt pretty cool :D

 

Also last night my ex told me she wanted me to go visit her in San Francisco but i'm not sure if it's a good idea or not. I mean the timing is terrible cause its going to be a crazy two weeks and i told her that, but i kind of do want to see her still.

[Ginger_Warrior]

Recently, I've been trying out the whole touching thing whenever I go on a night out. Because I'm fairly new to it, I think I'm a bit too assertive and not subtle enough, but without going into gory details, it really does work. One lesson I've already learned is that touching is definitely a two way process. Because I'm conscious about how to do it to girls, I'm more aware of when girls are trying it on me, whereas maybe in the past I just thought they were being clumsy or whatever. Of course some of them still are being clumsy, it's about seeing which is which.

 

But yeah... as rapey as it sounds, touching does work when done subtly and appropriately. So that obviously depends on how good someone is at assessing the situation, and it also means no matter how good you are at it, no girl will appreciate you trying to feel them up from behind without even so much as making eye contact first...

[muggiwhplar]

But yeah... as rapey as it sounds, touching does work when done subtly and appropriately. So that obviously depends on how good someone is at assessing the situation, and it also means no matter how good you are at it, no girl will appreciate you trying to feel them up from behind without even so much as making eye contact first...

 

This is a good example of how effective words like creep and slut are at controlling men and women across the world, and preventing them from having healthy sexual relationships.

 

(Not attacking Ginger; just pointing out that he shouldn't have to include the "as rapey as it sounds..." bit, and that most guys don't touch girls because they're afraid of being labelled a "creep")

[The Dark Lord]

I heard first about it on TV's Strange Sex. Peculiar show. Pretty sure it was the same episode as the guy with the 100 pound ball sack. I shit you not.

 

EDIT: oh lawd dat prolapse google search. It's like...I'm not sure how to describe it.

 

Testicular elephantiasis? I saw a video of an old man in a third world country that had that condition, and he used it as a table.

[muggiwhplar]

In other news, I'm currently farming dates again :geek:

 

3 scheduled so far.

 

Edit: 5 dates.

 

Edit: 6 dates.

[Estonian dude]

No dates for me in a while...

Caught a terrible cold and not wanting to give it over to someone else...

 

BUT, on a different topic, my situation in the social hierarchy in my school has improved by SHITLOADS since September. New freshmen that joined our college are really finding me as The Dude around here. I can now get along with anybody and everybody. I could walk up to the hottest chick in school and she wouldn't mind. I go to a party and people know my name without me ever remembering them...

What's sad about it is still the lack of my own confidence.

And that friday went quite well. In the end we were 2 dudes and 2 girls, we went sleighing and had boatloads of fun, didn't take liquid confidence and I managed to be the leader of the group and crack jokes and everything. But, I did no personal progress with that girl whatsoever... I don't think she even knows that I like her and now we've chatted around 1,5 months almost daily.

[bleep] me.

[bleep].

[RpgGamer]

No dates for me in a while...

Caught a terrible cold and not wanting to give it over to someone else...

 

BUT, on a different topic, my situation in the social hierarchy in my school has improved by SHITLOADS since September. New freshmen that joined our college are really finding me as The Dude around here. I can now get along with anybody and everybody. I could walk up to the hottest chick in school and she wouldn't mind. I go to a party and people know my name without me ever remembering them...

What's sad about it is still the lack of my own confidence.

And that friday went quite well. In the end we were 2 dudes and 2 girls, we went sleighing and had boatloads of fun, didn't take liquid confidence and I managed to be the leader of the group and crack jokes and everything. But, I did no personal progress with that girl whatsoever... I don't think she even knows that I like her and now we've chatted around 1,5 months almost daily.

[bleep] me.

[bleep].

 

I'm getting a vibe that you're trying to hard without making the "right" actions. Learn to create the circumstances you desire. Otherwise, I'd find it hard to believe this girl doesn't have a hint that you like her after talking to her so much.

[Kaida23]

Either that, so much time has passed that he's fallen into the relationship black hole called "the friend zone".

[Ginger_Warrior]

BUT, on a different topic, my situation in the social hierarchy in my school has improved by SHITLOADS since September. New freshmen that joined our college are really finding me as The Dude around here. I can now get along with anybody and everybody. I could walk up to the hottest chick in school and she wouldn't mind. I go to a party and people know my name without me ever remembering them...

So... go do it then. You don't need our permission. I'm not really sure what you want us to say here.

 

I'm not sure why you're talking about "social hierarchy" either, as if this has anything to do with getting yourself into a healthy, sustainable relationship. If you're going for a girl who only wants a boyfriend 'coz its kewl' then fine, but we all know you're not because there's only one person you've talked about the last two months. If she likes you, she couldn't give two [bleep]s whether you're popular at parties or whether you're a hit with freshman girls. In fact, you mentioning it is probably a big turn off to her, if anything.

 

Imagine she said to you, "Oh yeah, all the boys round here like me, even the really hot ones." How would you feel?

[Estonian dude]

I didn't say she was the only one I have talked with. I chat daily with 2-3 girls at least :D . But she is the only one that I constantly chat with. With others I randomly shuffle to whomever I feel like talking with and who is online. And thus that is why I think she hasn't gotten the point...

And that social hierarchy shit was only here to talk that I have somehow managed to start oozing confidence for the outsiders, while I am still really unsure about myself inside.

Such huge changes, from being the shittiest little bastard in one school to becoming The Dude can happen, I am saying this as an inspiration to people worse off than me.

And I don't think that would really hurt me, if she said that. Gives all the more reason to try ;) .

But yeah, I think I have missed this train and I've gotta seek for a new girl...

[Kaida23]

The Dude abides. :thumbup:

[Estonian dude]

One sad aspect that I've found out is that I can chat with any girl on hours on end on messenger, without either of us getting bored. Seriously I have chatted through the night and not even only once. I manage to be interesting and funny and witty enough. Even today chatted with 3 different girls up until 2.45 AM. And then suddenly within minutes each one of them went to sleep, since it is schoolday tomorrow, but still.

Yet I can't make it to work when talking face to face...

 

And Kaida, what do you mean with that last sentence?

[muggiwhplar]

While it's good that you're capable of maintaining a conversation with girls over IM for long periods of time, I hope you realize that every minute you spend doing that sends you deeper into the friendzone.