muggiwhplar Posted November 28, 2012 Share Posted November 28, 2012 What are you afraid of? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donnie Posted November 28, 2012 Share Posted November 28, 2012 Its a daily battle but its not impossible to beat severe anxiety. Start small. How about asking a cashier how their day was. Or asking the time from people you aren't attracted to. If either of these are too scary start smaller. But consistent exposure is how you beat the anxiety, once you can ask any old person what time it is, try asking only girls you find attractive. The more often you actively fight anxiety by doing something the better your long term results will be. True confidence always gives better results then drunk confidence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omar Posted November 28, 2012 Share Posted November 28, 2012 It might seem silly, but smiling to people walking in the opposite direction is how I started out getting comfortable with strangers (not that I'm done). From experience, I've found Donnie's ideas helpful. Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude? Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you? Camera guy: still laughing Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy Camera guy: runs away still laughing Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]! Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RpgGamer Posted November 28, 2012 Share Posted November 28, 2012 Drunk flirter here. I have a strange inhibition about my speech when I'm sober. My mind races with so much useless information and analyzation that I can't even muster a conversation sometimes. Whilst intoxicated, my mind kind of chills the [bleep] out and lets me say things I'd normally over think 100 times on a whim. I find myself struggling to make conversation when sober, but when I'm drunk I can have a fairly decent conversation about any random thing I happen to observe. It's like lubing a rusty machine. I can function and such without alcohol, but I feel I'm much more social, friendly, and graceful when I'm drinking. Of course, there is a point where it goes from helpful to sloppy, but that's a different discussion topic. Quote Quote Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic. Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos. PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude Steam: NippleBeardTM Origin: Brand_New_iPwn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sumpta Posted November 28, 2012 Share Posted November 28, 2012 The thing is that alcohol clouds the judgement. Just because you think you're an awesome, upgraded version of yourself when drunk, doesn't actually mean that you are. Alcohol is tricky that way. There's a very fine line between pleasantly buzzed and annoyingly wasted. Plenty of guys who approach me drunk think their game is great. They also think I can't tell that they're drunk and misconceive toleration (as in, I don't sock them in the eye) as scoring. I agree with Donnie and Omar about starting out with simple things. My aunt once gave me the pro flirting tip to just seek eye contact with people on the streets, in bars,... It makes people feel noticed, which in its turn makes them notice you. You wouldn't believe what a difference that makes. It may be a more successful tactic for girls, but I'm sure it would benefit us all to do this instead of always looking at the ground as if we're looking for lost change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginger_Warrior Posted November 28, 2012 Share Posted November 28, 2012 When you consider that two thirds of your communicating boils down to body language, alcohol really doesn't do you any favours in the long run. Sure, you might start behaving in a confident manner. You will definitely suffer from terrible hand-eye coordination, nausea, blurred vision, slow reflexes, slurred speech, a desperate need to eliminate every twenty minutes and an annoying tendency to lose balance and fall over on the dance floor. What girl could possibly resist? Given body language is more important, wouldn't working on things like eye contact, body posture (etc.) be far more beneficial to your success rates in the long run? Not only that, but can't you also do it without chucking £15 worth of booze down you first? More effective and cheaper. I think in RuneScape they call this "efficiency", don't they? 2 | Favourite Game Music | Last.fm | HYT Friend Chat Rules | Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obfuscator Posted November 28, 2012 Share Posted November 28, 2012 The thing is that alcohol clouds the judgement. Just because you think you're an awesome, upgraded version of yourself when drunk, doesn't actually mean that you are. Alcohol is tricky that way. There's a very fine line between pleasantly buzzed and annoyingly wasted. Plenty of guys who approach me drunk think their game is great. They also think I can't tell that they're drunk and misconceive toleration (as in, I don't sock them in the eye) as scoring. I agree with Donnie and Omar about starting out with simple things. My aunt once gave me the pro flirting tip to just seek eye contact with people on the streets, in bars,... It makes people feel noticed, which in its turn makes them notice you. You wouldn't believe what a difference that makes. It may be a more successful tactic for girls, but I'm sure it would benefit us all to do this instead of always looking at the ground as if we're looking for lost change. I'm just trying to make the ground feel noticed :( 1 "It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrOwez Posted November 28, 2012 Share Posted November 28, 2012 Drunk flirter here. I have a strange inhibition about my speech when I'm sober. My mind races with so much useless information and analyzation that I can't even muster a conversation sometimes. Whilst intoxicated, my mind kind of chills the [bleep] out and lets me say things I'd normally over think 100 times on a whim. I find myself struggling to make conversation when sober, but when I'm drunk I can have a fairly decent conversation about any random thing I happen to observe. It's like lubing a rusty machine. I can function and such without alcohol, but I feel I'm much more social, friendly, and graceful when I'm drinking. Of course, there is a point where it goes from helpful to sloppy, but that's a different discussion topic. I was exactly the same, I couldn't talk to a pretty girl without stuttering or being extremely awkward yet alone approach one! But as with everything in life it gets easier with experience, mine came from: working in customer service, having to work in groups at uni and getting my heart ripped out and stamped on by a beautiful girl. It all built up that interaction and gave me my biggest realisation: the fact that beauty is common, beautiful girls can be dull, mean and overall uninteresting. After I took them off the pedestal that I myself put them on and lowered them to my level it made life much easier. Where once alcohol was a catalyst to me relaxing and being able to hold a conversation with girl, now it's just an added extra, I drink for the taste really and it still relaxes me. A friend to all is a friend to none. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sumpta Posted November 28, 2012 Share Posted November 28, 2012 The thing is that alcohol clouds the judgement. Just because you think you're an awesome, upgraded version of yourself when drunk, doesn't actually mean that you are. Alcohol is tricky that way. There's a very fine line between pleasantly buzzed and annoyingly wasted. Plenty of guys who approach me drunk think their game is great. They also think I can't tell that they're drunk and misconceive toleration (as in, I don't sock them in the eye) as scoring. I agree with Donnie and Omar about starting out with simple things. My aunt once gave me the pro flirting tip to just seek eye contact with people on the streets, in bars,... It makes people feel noticed, which in its turn makes them notice you. You wouldn't believe what a difference that makes. It may be a more successful tactic for girls, but I'm sure it would benefit us all to do this instead of always looking at the ground as if we're looking for lost change. I'm just trying to make the ground feel noticed But does it ever notice you back? You can't keep giving and giving yourself to it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muggiwhplar Posted November 28, 2012 Share Posted November 28, 2012 Drunk flirter here. I have a strange inhibition about my speech when I'm sober. My mind races with so much useless information and analyzation that I can't even muster a conversation sometimes. Whilst intoxicated, my mind kind of chills the [bleep] out and lets me say things I'd normally over think 100 times on a whim. I find myself struggling to make conversation when sober, but when I'm drunk I can have a fairly decent conversation about any random thing I happen to observe. It's like lubing a rusty machine. I can function and such without alcohol, but I feel I'm much more social, friendly, and graceful when I'm drinking. Of course, there is a point where it goes from helpful to sloppy, but that's a different discussion topic. I was exactly the same, I couldn't talk to a pretty girl without stuttering or being extremely awkward yet alone approach one! But as with everything in life it gets easier with experience, mine came from: working in customer service, having to work in groups at uni and getting my heart ripped out and stamped on by a beautiful girl. It all built up that interaction and gave me my biggest realisation: the fact that beauty is common, beautiful girls can be dull, mean and overall uninteresting. After I took them off the pedestal that I myself put them on and lowered them to my level it made life much easier. Where once alcohol was a catalyst to me relaxing and being able to hold a conversation with girl, now it's just an added extra, I drink for the taste really and it still relaxes me. Yeah-- I also got a customer service job in college which killed all of my "approach anxieties" pretty damn fast. Highly recommended. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obfuscator Posted November 28, 2012 Share Posted November 28, 2012 The thing is that alcohol clouds the judgement. Just because you think you're an awesome, upgraded version of yourself when drunk, doesn't actually mean that you are. Alcohol is tricky that way. There's a very fine line between pleasantly buzzed and annoyingly wasted. Plenty of guys who approach me drunk think their game is great. They also think I can't tell that they're drunk and misconceive toleration (as in, I don't sock them in the eye) as scoring. I agree with Donnie and Omar about starting out with simple things. My aunt once gave me the pro flirting tip to just seek eye contact with people on the streets, in bars,... It makes people feel noticed, which in its turn makes them notice you. You wouldn't believe what a difference that makes. It may be a more successful tactic for girls, but I'm sure it would benefit us all to do this instead of always looking at the ground as if we're looking for lost change. I'm just trying to make the ground feel noticed But does it ever notice you back? You can't keep giving and giving yourself to it! The more I drink, the closer I get to it ;) 1 "It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vezon Dash Posted November 28, 2012 Share Posted November 28, 2012 The way I see it, you are using booze as a crutch. What happens if that one girl you really really want to get to know never appears in an environment where alcohol is present? You are hosed. Like everyone else said, customer service jobs (I have had one too) really help. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donnie Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 My aunt once gave me the pro flirting tip to just seek eye contact with people on the streets, in bars,... It makes people feel noticed, which in its turn makes them notice you. You wouldn't believe what a difference that makes. It may be a more successful tactic for girls, but I'm sure it would benefit us all to do this instead of always looking at the ground as if we're looking for lost change. For guys its more about filtering. If i notice a girl made eye contact with me for half a second longer then most people I make eye contact with I automatically assume that she has some level of interest. A double take or stare is even more obvious. But its important for guys to keep eye contact for that reason because guys who look down, are drunk, or look away quickly miss those cues. edit: a lot of htis is more or less obvious but when putting it to words it looks a lot more complicated then it is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aten Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 Hi! Okay, so there's this girl at work whom I'm rather interested in. She's been at the office for about 2 weeks now and we've hung out a few times. We hit it off right from the start and I feel like she's into me a little as well but I'm not quite sure! She's very cute and quite interesting so I figured, well I might as well ask her out on a date and get to know her better. Unfortunately, I'm leaving the country to finish my studies at the end of December since this is just a temporary internship... at the same time, this girl also has to prep for the bar exam which happens mid month and spans 3 days. She's already working her ass off (she works full shifts every day and only has 6 days off per month) and her family is kinda in a tight spot right now (she lives with her two younger brothers, her dad who is physically disabled, and she also has to take care of grandma who is currently hospitalized... mum cut off all ties with the family years back). I don't want to distract her from pursuing her dreams or taking care of her family, but I can't help but be a little selfish and want to spend some time getting to know her. I asked her out earlier today and she seemed kinda surprised but pleased at the same time... though she said she'd be busy the next few weeks, she's willing to try to wait till the later half of the month to see when she's free (since she works an assistant job, she has to plan her work schedule around everybody else's) Couple questions arose in my mind...1. Is she interested? I'm not sure if the "waiting" bit is legit or just an excuse to let me down gently :S2. What alternatives are there to make this work? I don't know how I can find some spare time without getting her to make a sacrifice on behalf of her family/finances (though it could probably be easily argued that if she were actually interested, then she would free up time herself)? Honestly though she has dropped a bunch of hints so I'm mostly just confused right now :x Follow my road to 5.6/Gold Reaper/True Trim - DAT BLOG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Estonian dude Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 Damn, managed to stumble myself on a date... Sober. Tomorrow. For a looong time (3 hours). And I am [bleep]ing nervous now. So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends. RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.I strike out every other week.Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.Randox pretty much stays rational.Etc, etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Omar Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 It's going to be fine and you'll feel stupid for freaking out once it's over. Besides, if she was down to date you you're obviously doing something right. Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude? Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you? Camera guy: still laughing Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy Camera guy: runs away still laughing Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]! Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Estonian dude Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 I am always doing something right, yet it hasn't really happened yet. And now I am relieved, other people will be coming too.But I am also freaked out aswell, since now we have no private time...Well, I should get a half an hour window with her, we'll see tomorrow. So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends. RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.I strike out every other week.Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.Randox pretty much stays rational.Etc, etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muggiwhplar Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 I feel that I haven't been using this in my responses enough:[hide=partial profanity][/hide] 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RpgGamer Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 The way I see it, you are using booze as a crutch. What happens if that one girl you really really want to get to know never appears in an environment where alcohol is present? You are hosed. Like everyone else said, customer service jobs (I have had one too) really help. I almost dated a girl that was very anti-drinking and anti-smoking, back when I started getting into the habit of a weekly cigar and a bi-daily drinking binge. She ended up ending things with me because I was too involved in my ex. go figure haha Hi! Okay, so there's this girl at work whom I'm rather interested in. She's been at the office for about 2 weeks now and we've hung out a few times. We hit it off right from the start and I feel like she's into me a little as well but I'm not quite sure! She's very cute and quite interesting so I figured, well I might as well ask her out on a date and get to know her better. Unfortunately, I'm leaving the country to finish my studies at the end of December since this is just a temporary internship... at the same time, this girl also has to prep for the bar exam which happens mid month and spans 3 days. She's already working her ass off (she works full shifts every day and only has 6 days off per month) and her family is kinda in a tight spot right now (she lives with her two younger brothers, her dad who is physically disabled, and she also has to take care of grandma who is currently hospitalized... mum cut off all ties with the family years back). I don't want to distract her from pursuing her dreams or taking care of her family, but I can't help but be a little selfish and want to spend some time getting to know her. I asked her out earlier today and she seemed kinda surprised but pleased at the same time... though she said she'd be busy the next few weeks, she's willing to try to wait till the later half of the month to see when she's free (since she works an assistant job, she has to plan her work schedule around everybody else's) Couple questions arose in my mind...1. Is she interested? I'm not sure if the "waiting" bit is legit or just an excuse to let me down gently :S2. What alternatives are there to make this work? I don't know how I can find some spare time without getting her to make a sacrifice on behalf of her family/finances (though it could probably be easily argued that if she were actually interested, then she would free up time herself)? Honestly though she has dropped a bunch of hints so I'm mostly just confused right now :mad: Don't discount yourself as a waste of time! She agreed to be around you, so she clearly wants to be around you. Don't set her priorities for her, let her figure them out. If she doesn't have time for you, you clearly know why and should be understanding of such. If anything this gives you the right to ask her to do things more frequently to help her get away from her troubles, and I'm sure she'll be willing. Damn, managed to stumble myself on a date... Sober. Tomorrow. For a looong time (3 hours). And I am [bleep]ing nervous now. No liquid courage! And turn off your cell phone. Try not to even touch it. Quote Quote Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic. Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos. PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude Steam: NippleBeardTM Origin: Brand_New_iPwn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muggiwhplar Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 That awkward moment when you read a girl's online dating profile description. More specifically, the part where she says she has two vaginas. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noxx Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 Hi! Okay, so there's this girl at work whom I'm rather interested in. She's been at the office for about 2 weeks now and we've hung out a few times. We hit it off right from the start and I feel like she's into me a little as well but I'm not quite sure! She's very cute and quite interesting so I figured, well I might as well ask her out on a date and get to know her better. Unfortunately, I'm leaving the country to finish my studies at the end of December since this is just a temporary internship... at the same time, this girl also has to prep for the bar exam which happens mid month and spans 3 days. She's already working her ass off (she works full shifts every day and only has 6 days off per month) and her family is kinda in a tight spot right now (she lives with her two younger brothers, her dad who is physically disabled, and she also has to take care of grandma who is currently hospitalized... mum cut off all ties with the family years back). I don't want to distract her from pursuing her dreams or taking care of her family, but I can't help but be a little selfish and want to spend some time getting to know her. I asked her out earlier today and she seemed kinda surprised but pleased at the same time... though she said she'd be busy the next few weeks, she's willing to try to wait till the later half of the month to see when she's free (since she works an assistant job, she has to plan her work schedule around everybody else's) Couple questions arose in my mind...1. Is she interested? I'm not sure if the "waiting" bit is legit or just an excuse to let me down gently :S2. What alternatives are there to make this work? I don't know how I can find some spare time without getting her to make a sacrifice on behalf of her family/finances (though it could probably be easily argued that if she were actually interested, then she would free up time herself)? Honestly though she has dropped a bunch of hints so I'm mostly just confused right now :mad: Sounds like a lot of work for something that has a time limit.I'm pretty sure she is interested, but i'm not sure it's worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RpgGamer Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 YOLOOO Quote Quote Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic. Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos. PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude Steam: NippleBeardTM Origin: Brand_New_iPwn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginger_Warrior Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 That awkward moment when you read a girl's online dating profile description. More specifically, the part where she says she has two vaginas....what? Well that's a new one to me. EDIT: She could make some serious dough out of that. Apparently there are lots of men out there with pretty.... unusual tastes. | Favourite Game Music | Last.fm | HYT Friend Chat Rules | Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Estonian dude Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 [bleep]. I've caught a cold.And I still can't kiss that girl for the very first time.FML. PS: Still going to meet her, but yeah, that one thing really sucks. I am not giving her my cold... So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends. RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.I strike out every other week.Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.Randox pretty much stays rational.Etc, etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TTanT Posted November 30, 2012 Share Posted November 30, 2012 That awkward moment when you read a girl's online dating profile description. More specifically, the part where she says she has two vaginas....what? Well that's a new one to me. EDIT: She could make some serious dough out of that. Apparently there are lots of men out there with pretty.... unusual tastes. Wait, so women can actually have 2 vaginas? How does that work? I'm kind of afraid to google it because I already accidentally discovered what vaginal prolapse* was earlier this week and I don't need any more nightmares.*For the love of god if you're wondering what this is just enter this into Wikipedia or a dictionary and don't image search it. Use your brain. The only difference between Hitler and the man next door who comes home and beats his kids every day is circumstance. The intent is the same-- to harm others.[hide=Tifers say the darndest things]I told her there was a secret method to doing it - and there is - but my once nimble and agile fingers were unable to perform because I was under the influence.I would laugh, not hate. I'm a male. :(Since when was Ireland an island...? :wall:I actually have a hobby of licking public toilet seats.[/hide] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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