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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice


Da_Latios

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My ex has been texting me a lot the past few days. I'm not sure why. It's weird because it's the kind of texts she used to send me when we were together.

I like hearing from her again, and i like conversing with her again. It kind of reminds me of what we had.

She asked me today, if the world was to end now, would i be by her side...

 

I've been the only person besides her family that's come into her life ans stayed after saying i would. Most people always just use her for something then abandon her and i'm the one person that never did in spite of what she put me through when we broke up. I do kinda feel like i miss her. And i would jump at being with her again. And i have a good feeling that things can be very different this time because i'll have a job, and a good one. We can live together which means we won't have that frustration that builds up from only seeing each other on weekends.

 

See this shit? I'm going mad.

 

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Hm, is it bad when I read "ex" in a post I completely ignore it unless posts continue to reference it and wonder "why are we still discussing this!?"

 

No Noxx. The only people you should live with are family, friends, and your fiance. The only "ex'es" you should go back to are the ones printed on bottles. A man or woman cannot be trusted enough for a romantic relationship after a break up. Hence the breakup.

"The cry of the poor is not always just, but if you never hear it you'll never know what justice is."

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Okay yeah, you'll have to use some judgement on the falling out, specifically the exact causes, including less obvious underlying causes like pent up frustration about something, and what the lasting effects might be (did it create trust issues that will never go away for example).

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Madness is defined as trying the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result each time.

 

Take it from the dude that had 17+ relationships with the same girl.

 

That being said, drop everything and run to her in her gorgeous pro-homo/weed state. Live with her and live happily ever after. It'll all work out right?

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Wouldn't it be better if you were dead-set on monogamous marriage to live together before that point so you know if you can make it through, rather than potentially going into something and ending in a messy divorce, prenup or not?

 

I think this works better in theory than in actual fact...I've yet to see any statistics that show pre-marital co-habitation decreases divorce rate.

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Well basically how it happened is that she moved to the US to study, shortly after so did i. She's in California, i'm in Florida. We saw each other ummm... I think June/July. Before and after that we never saw each other. She left early September 2011. So we've seen each other once in over a year now. When she first moved to California we spoke on the phone each and every day, like she never left. I missed her a lot, and she missed me too. But i knew that was only because she didn't really have friends there yet. When she met some people we started talking a bit less, which i was fine with because i understood why. Sh gets along much better with guys than with girls. It's always been the case. She's never been a particularly girly girl (but god, she can look breathtaking when she puts on a nice dress), and she always got kind of annoyed by the girls who where really girly. So she started making friends, of whom most where guys.it kind of bothered me, but i tried to look past it because i trusted her. Then two or three weeks later i decided to do Pilot Training in Florida. I left 2 weeks after that (mid October). Things got really crazy then because i was on my feet 14 - 16 hours a day for the first two weeks. I almost never had signal on my phone (due to being 3 000 feet high), and when i got home all i wanted to do was sleep. When things started cooling down a bit we started talking regularly again. I told her that maybe we should take a break from each other for a while just until i get used to "my new life". I was lying. I figured "when in Rome".

C'mon,i was in the US. Girls were supposed to be hot, and everywhere. I wanted to finally "life the college life" and hook up with some strangers.

She knew this, but didn't say anything.

For some reason we stil spoke pretty much every day. And then it happened. I started talking to her less and less. i figured that she would always be there. i took her for granted. I started talking to her less and less and started caring less and less. Some days i would really miss her, but sometimes i would go weeks without even caring/thinking of her. I loved her with all my heart but i have a lot of trouble feeling/having any sort of emotions towards a person i cannot touch and/or see. We used to have an overly healthy sex life and this too was making things harder being alone.

 

Then one day i saw her online on Skype and i decided to say hi. Just then i realised it had been about 4 or 5 weeks since i spoke to her. Out last conversation on Skype ended by me saying "I'll be right back i want to go have a smoke".

After that she sent me a few messages on skype to which i never replied and a few texts to which i never replied. I don't know why.

 

Anyway i saw her online and i said hi. Then we started having a big argument. She told me that her feelings towards me have changed the past few months ,and although i felt the same way, i started fighting for her. I could no longer have her, and it made me want her more. I went insane and i phoned her constantly and texted her constantly. It was really messy. I can see now that the only reason i acted like that was because the ball was no longer in my court and it drove me crazy.

We had constant fights for about 3 weeks because of this (maybe longer). I think a lot of that is still in this thread some pages back.

I went through a pretty tough time.

 

Eventually i got over it and we started speaking again for some reason. Was weird at first but it was nice talking to her again. I asked her advice on how to deal with certain girls, and she asked me on how to deal with certain guys. It was strange because we were helping each other out with different relationships.

I never told her i was stringing more than one girl along, but it came out one day. She was speaking to my sister and i guess my sister mentioned it to her. She was upset about it and she phoned me that day and asked me about it. I told her the truth, told her i had been seeing more than one girl but it was nothing serious.

She told me that since she's been in California she's only had one "serious" relationship but it ended "because he did too many things that reminded me of you, but he didn't do them like you".

And the other day i kind of felt the same way about certain things Claire used to do.

 

Anyway...i'm not really sure where i was going with any of this. I never feel like i know until i'm done typing haha. But yeah basically the point is that we had a fallout over something that i did. As much as i hate admitting it, most of it was due to me being selfish. Also it was really bad timing, which didn't help matters at all. She still tells me i'm her best friend, she still tells me i'm her number one boy. And i still tell her she's my best friend, and she's my number one girl.

I would get back together with her in a heartbeat simply because we never broke up because of hate, but rather because of bad timing. We had fights because we missed each other and we were frustrated.

I wouldn't move in with her straight away, because i know what type of person i am. I kinda like living with my parents anyway. I miss them and i have not actively seen them for over a year now, and when i get back home i want to live with them a while before making any life changing choices. But i was just thinking that if the chance was ever there, i would live with her.

 

I'm probably never going to get married, because i don't want to buy in the a socially glorified money making scheme. I'd make her my "civil partner" or whatever.......

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To quote a line from (probably) every film about a guy getting married ever, won't you miss sleeping with other women?

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Buying spins make you a bad person...don't do it. It's like buying nukes for North Korea.

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The only thing wrong with it is the lack of a percentage for when you need to stroke it.

 


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Pretty sure there are no major legal differences between a "common law union" and a marriage...at least not here anyway.

I worded myself badly. I don't want to get married. I don't believe in it. I don't believe i need to prove to anyone how much i love a person by having a huge celebration. I think it's utter shit. I don't believe that i need a piece of paper to prove my love.

In my opinion its a money making scheme.

I am however realistic. My ex would want to get married and i'm willing to meat her half way. We can go to a court and sign a piece of paper minus the 500 person crowd, and the money wasted on food for people we only know because they happen to be somewhere on our family tree.

 

Still not the best explanation but im sure some people will get what i mean.

 

 

And no i won't miss sleeping with other women. I don't want to get to much into detail but me and my ex understood each other sexually. We knew what the other one liked and how the other one liked it. We were also very adventurous and i can't really recall one moment that wasn't great.

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No that's not what i'm saying. I'm saying we broke up because i wanted to screw around.

But the only reason we got to that point was because of "bad timing", which isn't even the right term to use. It's more a case of our plans changing. She intended to study in Doha, and so did I. But we were presented with better opportunities and we took them.

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A few thoughts. First, don't confuse civil union with common law marriage. The former is a marriage, with a judge instead of a church official. The latter is where you gain some of the legal rights of marriage because you've been living together for x number of years. There are however legal advantages to getting a civil union or marriage certificate, especially during tax season. The common law marriage is more for protection in case you split.

 

As for you Noxx. I think I'll keep it short and sweet. Maybe you two have a future, maybe you don't. There are a lot of if's surrounding both of you, and I doubt any of us could really say which way the wind is going to blow. I think you've created a power imbalance. She see's, true or not, that she needs you more than you need her, and that's bad in either direction. You might have also planted some trust issue seeds, but whether they matured or not is probably impossible to say without dating her again.

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Coming from someone who doesn't really go out and meet women, what do you recommend?

Squab unleashes Megiddo! Completed all quests and hard diaries. 75+ Skiller. (At one point.) 2000+ total. 99 Magic.
[spoiler=The rest of my sig. You know you wanna see it.]

my difinition of noob is i dont like u, either u are better then me or u are worst them me

Buying spins make you a bad person...don't do it. It's like buying nukes for North Korea.

Well if it bothers you that the game is more fun now, then you can go cry in a corner. :shame:

your article was the equivalent of a circumcized porcupine

The only thing wrong with it is the lack of a percentage for when you need to stroke it.

 


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squabharpy.png
Poignant Purple to Lokie's Ravishing Red and Alg's Brilliant Blue.

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Yes but every time I do that it's a sausage fest lol.

 

Idk. I should do something instead of complaining on the internet. I also should have gone to bed at least 2 hours ago because I need to get up early tommorow.

Squab unleashes Megiddo! Completed all quests and hard diaries. 75+ Skiller. (At one point.) 2000+ total. 99 Magic.
[spoiler=The rest of my sig. You know you wanna see it.]

my difinition of noob is i dont like u, either u are better then me or u are worst them me

Buying spins make you a bad person...don't do it. It's like buying nukes for North Korea.

Well if it bothers you that the game is more fun now, then you can go cry in a corner. :shame:

your article was the equivalent of a circumcized porcupine

The only thing wrong with it is the lack of a percentage for when you need to stroke it.

 


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squabharpy.png
Poignant Purple to Lokie's Ravishing Red and Alg's Brilliant Blue.

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