"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[obfuscator]

Do you have a magic number, then? Is there some limit to the number of people you can realistically maintain a relationship with?

 

My love knows No Limits, y_guy :P

 

Basically as long as I can get laid whenever I want, without seeing the same girl twice a week, I'm happy. So 3-4 girls is pretty much a bare minimum requirement.

 

So you want to be romantic with them while never seeing them more than once a week? Sounds like FWB, not an actual relationship...

[muggiwhplar]

This is why it's difficult to debate these kinds of things with you guys, and why I don't put as much effort into my responses as I did in the past. I know where you guys are coming from, but you guys have no idea where I'm coming from. Every time we get into these arguments, I have to basically teach you about my lifestyle before defending it. It's exhausting :P

[obfuscator]

This is why it's difficult to debate these kinds of things with you guys, and why I don't put as much effort into my responses as I did in the past. I know where you guys are coming from, but you guys have no idea where I'm coming from. Every time we get into these arguments, I have to basically teach you about my lifestyle before defending it. It's exhausting :P

 

I'm just basing my questions on what you've said in the past. You've said that you're not interested simply in flings, but in romantic relationships.

 

What is a romantic relationship to you? Is it the kind of relationship where you spend a large amount of time with someone and do things together? Or is it simply having sex once a week? That's what your previous post seems to imply - and I don't see the difference between that and a simple FWB.

[muggiwhplar]

I focus on FBs and MLTRs only. If I were to consider having children, I would probably have an OLTR instead of MLTRs

 

Here's some stuff for you to read so I don't have to explain it again. :P

 

http://blackdragonbl...hips-explained/

 

http://www.pua-zone....nship-Rules-3-0

 

http://www.pua-zone....LTRs-(and-LTRs)

 

http://www.pua-zone....re-of-your-time

[Estonian dude]

Oh god, poly-mono AGAIN...

3 pages of that **** in a day...

Let's just all agree to disagree? What was the last question before this debate? Let's concentrate on it, please.

[Randox]

Please...not the freaking acronyms. Just spell it out and we'll figure it out from there.

 

And do you actually know any girls who want to sleep with men who are 250%+ their age? (discounting every case where the man is wealthy/famous or the girl is being paid). You say they exist (because I distinctly remember you saying you'd still be bedding girls in their 20's when your in your 50's), yet I'm pretty sure we don't live in the same dimension, or your massively overestimating how attractive you'll be post middle age crisis and into the early geriatric phase.

[Ginger_Warrior]

Oh god, poly-mono AGAIN...

3 pages of that **** in a day...

Let's just all agree to disagree? What was the last question before this debate? Let's concentrate on it, please.

I think it was a post saying somebody should have sex with someone even if they don't feel anything for them, shagging for the sake of shagging basically. I think muggi said they should, Vezon argued otherwise and the fallout started there.

[Fallstar]

You don't need to feel something for someone to have sex with them. One night stands (or longer purely sex based relationships) are a healthy thing.

[Ginger_Warrior]

I'm pretty sure the original poster said he wasn't interested in one-night stands, old-styled values and all that, only wanted sex if it was part of a more long-term relationship. I think the predicament was they approach him for sex and he wanted to know if there was any chance he could tempt them into something more long-term.

 

Which obviously lead to the mono vs poly thing which, if truth be told, I'm sick of going around in circles with.

[RpgGamer]

It wasn't her. Her friend called me over and kind of awkwardly forced us into a conversation. Later that night when she left, yeah she came to me. She could have left without saying anything, but she didn't ;)

That's the only reason i wouldnt have felt bad giving her my number.

The way i look at it, if i gave her my number knowing she had a boyfriend, it doesn't make me the [wagon]. If she texts me, it makes her boyfriend the [wagon] for not satisfying her.

I've completely changed the way i look at relationships now, and until she has a ring on her finger she's still fair game.

Everyone's partially responsible-- the girl, her bf, and the guy she cheats with. Personally I don't see anything wrong with hooking up with a girl in a relationship. But I'm not going to go out of my way to pick up a girl with a boyfriend. And I'd never hook up with a girl if I personally knew her bf either.

For boring her/being monogamous with her. Women don't usually cheat when they're in the honeymoon phase.

 

 

 

This is how I [bleep]ed up by letting my ex leave my life. This is why I'd also never date or get involved with a girl who is not a very strong religious person. How could I ever date a person who believe that it is ok to sleep around as long as we weren't married (hell, sleep around even if we were married too)? The point of a relationship/marriage/courtship is to be with 1 (not 100) person.

 

Shame for you people taking when isn't rightfully theirs. You might want the food that the guy sitting at a table across the room has, but that doesn't mean that you have to go over there and eat his food when he gets up to go to the bathroom or something.

 

Maybe I'm an old fashion guy who will die alone, but at least I will have my dignity and pride when its all said and done.

 

 

 

 

Yeah... I haven't had a good day today.

 

Try not to think of relationship partners as possessions, it eases the process.

 

 

3. Intentionally making irrational decisions to grant you short-term gratification instead of long-term happiness is a habit that will cost you dearly down the road. If you insist on basing your major life decisions on such a thought process, you're playing with fire and essentially leaving your future to a dice roll in which the odds are NOT in your favor.

 

I opted out of a perfectly good relationship to spend one more week with my ex. I needed a 20 cunning roll to successfully maintain both opportunities. Failed saving throw. Got like a 3d20. Still haven't completely recovered.

 

dont take my word for it take Dr. Drew's.

 

Another Dr Drew fan? We're gonna get along great.

 

 

 

I've never heard of a woman getting pregnant from precum.

 

I'll introduce you to my buddy Jesse. He refuses to wear condoms. His precum created little Xavier last year. Cutest thing he is.

 

 

As women get older, they generally become more jaded and dramatic-- their expectations go up, while their "quality" goes down. Most guys in their 30s will tell you it's easier to date younger women than women their age, regardless of what you're looking for in a relationship.

 

 

More age = more emotional baggage. Biology or not, a woman's seen some shit. Girls haven't. You also have to account for the fact that girls are single/available for a reason (as are guys). If a girl is getting on in age and is still single, there's a strong chance you won't like the reason why.

 

 

--

 

And in Muggiw's defense, I know a fair handful of girls that are really into sexual openess, and have been bedded by men near thrice their age. I'm sure they're few in far between, but such women do and always will exist.

[Vezon Dash]

My issue is that I have a possessive personality, unfortunately. I wouldn't go so far as to say that I have PPD, but I'm pretty close.

[obfuscator]

My issue is that I have a possessive personality, unfortunately. I wouldn't go so far as to say that I have PPD, but I'm pretty close.

 

I suggest you get over that before starting to date. Any relationship you enter into (monogamous or otherwise) will certainly fail if you view that person as a possession.

[Estonian dude]

Well, isn't there the saying that a girl (or a man) is of a perfect age for you if you divide your age in half and add 7 years?

[obfuscator]

Well, isn't there the saying that a girl (or a man) is of a perfect age for you if you divide your age in half and add 7 years?

 

Pretty sure that's to find the maximum acceptable age difference

[Kimberly]

Please...not the freaking acronyms. Just spell it out and we'll figure it out from there.

 

TBH it was extremely hard to get through the supporting articles Muggi lists, especially because I think BD is a misogynistic dom (and a bad one at that), but if you can choke past that they're actually really interesting reads even if you don't agree with the lifestyle. Simply learning how different the dynamic is in those relationships (again, taking the bullshit man-is-god alpha spiel with a hefty grain of salt) is pretty cool.

 

I will say that I brought up the subject with John to see how he felt about it. I started the discussion with a lengthy explanation of "this is not a 'subtle hint' or anything, yada yada." The discussion didn't get very far and asked why it was brought up. When I explained that it was the discussion I was having with Muggi a few months past that forced me to look at this aspect of relationships that I didn't know a lot about (which at the time he ignored me asking him to read it) he sort of just went "huh" and left it at that. He seemed uncomfortable with it, so I let it be. Figured if he was uncomfortable with it because of jealousy (highly doubtful), I already explained it wasn't any stereotypical female runaround, and if it was because it's something he considered then maybe he'll bring it up when he's more comfortable.

 

 

Let's just all agree to disagree? What was the last question before this debate? Let's concentrate on it, please.

 

Was about cuddling, several people answered it, the person who asked has still not responded to the answers. Not a lot else to linger on, unless you want to tell us about another drunken sexcapade.

[Randox]

The age rule in graphical form:

[muggiwhplar]

Fascinating. Here's mine!

 

 

:twss:

[Kimberly]

But you'd never date an 85yr old so that isn't accurate :P

[muggiwhplar]

I might if she was really really hot or something :P

 

muggi appreciates hotness, regardless of age :D

[Ginger_Warrior]

I think the half+7 rule is more of an attempt to define a norm than define what's acceptable. Certainly, if they're over 18 and there's no other issues (i.e. unlawful behaviour, abuse, concent etc.) involved, then what happens between two people is their own business, as far as I'm concerned. In the UK, the age of consent is 16 but from ages 15-18 there's obviously real issues about how much you can define that person as an "adult" who's capable of understanding the consequences of his/her own decisions.

 

Most people I know who have had affairs have done it either through frustration with their own spouse or just to feel as though they can still attract other people into having sex with them. Imagine that feeling where you still find your spouse sexually attractive, but you get the feeling your spouse only wants to have sex with you because you're together, and you get the lasting impression they're just "going through the motions". It's not hard to see why that person would want find someone else who genuinely lusts after them.

 

That said, I'm not convinced the above is the basis of a full-blown relationship. It obviously works for a purely sexual relationship, but not an emotional relationship and a physical relationship, perhaps even a spiritual relationship on top of that. Which is why I think so many people do have affairs, which are a leading factor in divorces, but hardly anyone actively engages or is interested in learning about polyamoury

[obfuscator]

I think I'm in muggi's green zone

 

[Randox]

The lowest age of consent in Canada (we have 3 brackets) is 12. We have another at 14, and at 16+ it's all fair game here. I assume Quebec is different, because they always are.

 

Actually, looking at the graph I posted again, the rule seems a lot more reasonable when you can see it being applied to both sides at once. That actuallyu does seem to line up pretty nicely with the social norms, especially considering the rules is more than half a century old.

[obfuscator]

The lowest age of consent in Canada (we have 3 brackets) is 12. We have another at 14, and at 16+ it's all fair game here. I assume Quebec is different, because they always are.

 

Interesting..never heard that before. Got a source? (not that I don't believe you. I'd just be curious to read more about it)

[Tim]

I might if she was really really hot or something :P

 

muggi appreciates hotness, regardless of age :D

Inb4rooting15yeearolds.

[homer205]

 

 

Was about cuddling, several people answered it, the person who asked has still not responded to the answers. Not a lot else to linger on, unless you want to tell us about another drunken sexcapade.

Yeah christmas time so have been away. Thanks for the replies, bleak as they were, a specialist mattress seems a like a bit too much hassle so I'll hopefully be able to work something out. And a drunken sexcapade is always worth hearing about, do go on.