So there's something about being away at college that seems to make every chick still in high school much more interested in you than they were before and I love and hate it deeply.

 

Seriously, two chicks that I was mildly interested in during high school have approached me in the last week, and I don't want to start anything because long-distance relationships are stupid in such a case and I'm heading back to my school in four days. I mean it's definitely a good confidence boost but it's pretty frustrating at the same time. There's always summer though I suppose, haha.

 

I know it's been a while since I've been here, but I feel like going to college has really led to an increase in confidence for me. I've made an incredible new best friend who finally pulled me out of my self-esteem issues, I started working out and actually began making decent gains, I learned a lot more about fashion, and I made a decent group of friends there while still maintaining really good grades. All of this has finally paid off it seems; you guys all know I've been facing five years of "friend zones" (I know it's a bullshit term but it's the best way to describe it), and now I'm finally out of that rut it seems and it feels amazing. One of the main things I had been self-conscious about was my height (I'm 18 and only 5'4"), but one of these girls had a good four inches on me and was still pretty interested, so I finally don't feel like I have to give a shit about that. I know I can still improve myself, but that's half the fun and I don't let it bother me like I used to.

 

Though, I just had a couple questions now that I'm finally getting into situations where they can be applicable:

 

1. Is asking a girl on actual dates more productive than just asking them to hang out? I feel like forcing that distinction is kind of awkward as opposed to just hanging out more and letting it...develop I guess, but I also know that one of my low points is actually broadcasting my interest to girls. I feel like I've at least gotten better at flirting casually, yet this still seems to be a bit of a problem lol.

 

2. Any tips on, well, making the leap into a first kiss with a girl? I just never really learned how to initiate this kind of thing, but I know I have to do this in order to really get anywhere lol.

Friends have given me the ultimate challenge. Tonight we are to go to a wine and beer bar that we have only been at a few times. I will be armed with a wedding/engagement ring on my finger. My mission is to get a girls number. Extra points if i bring her home.

This should be fun.

Friends have given me the ultimate challenge. Tonight we are to go to a wine and beer bar that we have only been at a few times. I will be armed with a wedding/engagement ring on my finger. My mission is to get a girls number. Extra points if i bring her home.

This should be fun.

Do you have to act married/engaged or can you just say that you are a jewelry afficionado?

If the girl asks me about the ring i have to tell her i'm married. And 'm not allowed to hide it either. I have to act the same as i would in any other situation.

I was thinking my best chance would be to go for someone in their mid 30s since i might have a better chance with them. I don't really think a 20-something year old girl would be very interested in a married 22 year old haha.

I'm not exactly out of shape. I'm not working with much shape to even have at 5'11" (1.8m) 130lbs (~9 stone). I do think I'll start moving around more. I've lost my six pack that I so proudly wore in highschool, kinda want it back. But you're exactly right: I do need to figure out what I want. And believe me, I've been pondering it for many moons. Do you have any patience or attention keeping tips? i'd love to be able to read a nice book from time to time or even watch an hour long educational video, but I can't sit still long enough or focus long enough to really have any of it sink in.

 

In my experience, it's much easier to focus on things that interest you. It's also much easier to remember things your interested in.

 

Pick something you really want to know more about. That's how I do it. I also fidget a lot, which really helps. It occupies that part of your brain that wants to move around so that the rest of your brain can focus on paying attention. As a bonus, you'll the equivalent of a 20 minute run in calories a day just sitting on the couch playing with your hands.

I'm not exactly out of shape. I'm not working with much shape to even have at 5'11" (1.8m) 130lbs (~9 stone). I do think I'll start moving around more. I've lost my six pack that I so proudly wore in highschool, kinda want it back. But you're exactly right: I do need to figure out what I want. And believe me, I've been pondering it for many moons. Do you have any patience or attention keeping tips? i'd love to be able to read a nice book from time to time or even watch an hour long educational video, but I can't sit still long enough or focus long enough to really have any of it sink in.

I'm more curious how you managed to stay ~60kg. Then again I worked in fast food industry and that does wonders for fattening when it's all you can access when on a lunch/dinner break.

Must either not eat much, or exercise a lot, because to maintain 59kg at 180cm would require a fairly low calorie count. Going purely on BMI, that would make RPG almost underweight; ideally the weight should be closer to 70kg.

@Tim

 

I'd love to gain some weight actually, but my body structure/genetics isn't in my favor. I used to exercise a lot, but in the past few years it's been like once or twice a month. Of course, I also work ~35 hours a week in a fairly labor intensive job. I drink a lot, which doesn't make me particularly hungry, and I never really eat a lot all at once. Every once in a while I'll have a day that I am constantly eating something, but I've always been more of a "grazer" (which is supposed to be healthier). I also have a long history of religious fasting (you try being the first born male in a jewish family for a while haha) so hunger doesn't really bother me at all. Even now, I can go a whole day on nothing more than breakfast. Sometimes it's a problem because it's not healthy to just not eat for so long, but I ain't dead so whatever. When I do eat, I feel attracted to healthier foods. Sugar hurts my teeth, so I avoid it most of the time, I don't drink any more than like 6oz of soda in a day. I have a lot of vegetarian/vegan friends, and they take me to real hippy dippy restaurants which is certainly not bad for me. Not that I don't splurge on a PYT donut burger from time to time. In fact, I'd say it's the chaotic inconsistency of my diet that keeps my metabolism flexible. It never gets used to anything for too long.

 

It also doesn't hurt that my mom is 5'6" and didn't break 100lbs until she was pregnant with me. Tiny thing she was.

I can almost guarantee it's because you don't do enough strength training.

 

I started lifting weights consistently (5 times/week, 60-90 mins/day) in Oct 2008. Gained 20 lbs in about 3 months without changing my diet.

 

(I weighed 105 lbs to start, so gainig weight was a good thing :P)

Agreed with muggi. Do 5x5 squats starting at 100lbs three times a week and I can practically guarantee you'll gain 10 lbs in a month.

Yeah, do high weights with low reps on bench press, squats, and deadlifts :thumbup:

RPG, one of the reasons why I love this thread is that people do post such stuff. We are almost like a separate community in here by now.

And since relationships is an area where I such at, I really like reading all kinds of things about it. What to do and what not to do.

 

On a separate note, got back from that trip to Germany. Didn't get a kiss on New Years' Eve, but I didn't want to actually.

The trip itself was awesome. A week with total strangers and now we feel like best friends.

One thing that I noticed was that I could be a total jerk and people would still like me. I had girls making me sandwiches and bringing me beer and giving me massages and be happy doing it. During that trip I actually met a girl that I had known from summer camps years ago and she said that with the last 3 years that we hadn't seen each other for a moment I had changed completely. I had become an egocentric douchebag, while being the funniest guy around. Previously she had only known me as a really chill dude known for not doing anything weird or out of ordinary. This week I was the epitome of Estonian craziness.

To be fair, I tried my hardest to have as good time for myself there as possible.

So I just wanted to see if you guys agreed with me on something:

 

Looking back on the past year or so since I broke up with my ex, I think I've been going about things wrong.

 

Rather than passively waiting for a person I find attractive to pop up I've been actively trying to find one, which has lead to me pursuing a few people who when I think back on it I wasn't really attracted to. Luckily, all of those were flops due to finding out they were already taken or just being rejected.

 

The problem is these have lead to me missing chances of dating people that I would have probably really enjoyed dating. I'd say I've only asked out one person I REALLY wanted to date, with the two others slipping by due to me pursuing people that I had no real interest in (which I would have realized had I stopped to really think about it).

 

I guess what I'm saying is that I need to stop thinking "I want a girlfriend" and start thinking "If I run across someone cool enough to date I'll definitely go for it, but I've got plenty to keep life interesting anyways". I think I'll do a lot better and end up doing a lot less dumb things then.

 

I might just be talking out of my ass though, which is why I posted this here.

I agree. There is no reason to invest time and effort into a relationship that you didn't really have your heart (brain/genetalia/whatever) in. However, seize that moment if and when it comes.

You're on the right track. It ultimately boils down to what you're looking for though.

So there's something about being away at college that seems to make every chick still in high school much more interested in you than they were before and I love and hate it deeply.

 

Seriously, two chicks that I was mildly interested in during high school have approached me in the last week, and I don't want to start anything because long-distance relationships are stupid in such a case and I'm heading back to my school in four days. I mean it's definitely a good confidence boost but it's pretty frustrating at the same time. There's always summer though I suppose, haha.

 

I know it's been a while since I've been here, but I feel like going to college has really led to an increase in confidence for me. I've made an incredible new best friend who finally pulled me out of my self-esteem issues, I started working out and actually began making decent gains, I learned a lot more about fashion, and I made a decent group of friends there while still maintaining really good grades. All of this has finally paid off it seems; you guys all know I've been facing five years of "friend zones" (I know it's a bullshit term but it's the best way to describe it), and now I'm finally out of that rut it seems and it feels amazing. One of the main things I had been self-conscious about was my height (I'm 18 and only 5'4"), but one of these girls had a good four inches on me and was still pretty interested, so I finally don't feel like I have to give a shit about that. I know I can still improve myself, but that's half the fun and I don't let it bother me like I used to.

 

Though, I just had a couple questions now that I'm finally getting into situations where they can be applicable:

 

1. Is asking a girl on actual dates more productive than just asking them to hang out? I feel like forcing that distinction is kind of awkward as opposed to just hanging out more and letting it...develop I guess, but I also know that one of my low points is actually broadcasting my interest to girls. I feel like I've at least gotten better at flirting casually, yet this still seems to be a bit of a problem lol.

 

2. Any tips on, well, making the leap into a first kiss with a girl? I just never really learned how to initiate this kind of thing, but I know I have to do this in order to really get anywhere lol.

 

Not to be impatient but my post seems to have gotten brushed by by everyone, anyone have any tips on this stuff or are my questions really that stupid lol?

@TTanT - You've definitely got the right attitude. Dating just for the sake of "oh god I don't want to be alone" won't get you anywhere. Just be sure to seize the opportunity when she does appear. ;)

 

@Kalphite - I'd say asking her out on a date would be better than just asking her to hang out. As for the first kiss, I can't really help you there. I was never very good at that kind of thing either. lol

There's a general rule that I've heard before that if she's fine with you touching her hair, she'll be open to kiss you. You can't just grab her hair and see what she does though, you have to have an excuse to do it or do it flirtatiously (word? lol)

You can't just grab her hair and see what she does though

Challenge accepted.

I did kind of laugh at myself while writing that, going through a few different scenarios in my head :P

EDIT Nevermind, it was joke I got from someone else but now I thought about it, it's really off...

This thread is has given some pretty great advice....soon there are going to be a bunch of horny teenagers in jail for massaging elbows and pulling hair on first dates, and it's all going to be this thread's fault.

If that touching hair thing would be true, I would be Leonardo DiCaprio or something, since I have only met 2 girls in my whole life who have said anything bad if I touched their hair... And I like to touch girls' hair, mainly because I myself don't have any of it. Almost :)

Just so I've got it straight for my next date, do I pull her hair or massage her elbow first? :P

You could do both at the same time.