"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[muggiwhplar]

And when it comes to having kids? Are you going to be able to find a woman who wants to have kids with you when you've made (relatively) no commitment to her?

 

The woman would very likely be an OLTR instead of an MLTR.

 

Not necessarily.

 

Oh? Then why?

 

Because some women are turned on by the thought of [bleep]ing an older man.

 

Wait. Are you saying that guys our age make better providers than men twice our age? :blink:

Yes, because in the long term someone your own age is going to be able to provide for you all your life. A sixty year old will provide for you for twenty years, and then die. They won't leave you enough to provide for yourself unless they are (like I said) filthy rich.

 

Men our age are generally poor and up to their armpits in debt. They don't have a well-paying job yet and they're still quite emotionally immature. Older men generally have their shit together and therefore are much better "providers."

 

Older men are physically less attractive. And growing old is not an immediate confidence boost, nor is it a guarantee of success.\

 

Things that make men appealing don't necessarily come with age.

 

I think men hit their physical attractiveness peak at around their late 30s. But yeah, plenty of men lose all of their attractiveness when they get older because they don't set goals and take care of themselves. But the men that do take care of themselves can easily compete with men our age, assuming the women are interested in older men.

[Ginger_Warrior]

Consider it a monogamous relationship bound by the law then. Doesn't change anything. :P

Yes it does, because it's law that defines marriage, and laws change. Even you'd have to concede that changes in the law around marriage, such as a recognition of civil partnerships for homosexual couples and marriages of no religious denomination as "traditional marriages", will have an impact on the statistics your point is so heavily reliant on.

 

We've not even begun to talk about the rise of multiculturalism in the Western world, including the influx of communities who hold more conservative beliefs in which sexual relationships out of wedlock are heavily frowned upon. I'm not saying they're right to be so conservative on the issue, I'm just saying that in all likelihood, they'll still be holding marriages in a hundred years' time. That view is reinforced even further when you look at current marriage statistics in eastern European migrant populations in particular; they aren't following the same trend as the rest of us.

 

Will less people be marrying in 2112? Most likely, yes. Will it be gone completely? Absolutely not, there's no evidence at all to support that claim.

[muggiwhplar]

As an aside, just a question for you. Would you still engage in a polyamorous lifestyle if you couldn't use contraception?

 

If I couldn't use contraception (assuming you're including the "pull out method" which doesn't require condoms or the pill or anything :P), I would probably remain single until I researched my "options" to choose the best choice for my long-term happiness.

[Ginger_Warrior]

As an aside, just a question for you. Would you still engage in a polyamorous lifestyle if you couldn't use contraception?

 

If I couldn't use contraception (assuming you're including the "pull out method" which doesn't require condoms or the pill or anything :P), I would probably remain single until I researched my "options" to choose the best choice for my long-term happiness.

You do realise that semenal release occurs prior to orgasm and the "pull out method" is nothing but male fantasy in terms of contraception, don't you? :blink:

[muggiwhplar]

As an aside, just a question for you. Would you still engage in a polyamorous lifestyle if you couldn't use contraception?

 

If I couldn't use contraception (assuming you're including the "pull out method" which doesn't require condoms or the pill or anything :P), I would probably remain single until I researched my "options" to choose the best choice for my long-term happiness.

You do realise that semenal release occurs prior to orgasm and the "pull out method" is nothing but male fantasy in terms of contraception, don't you? :blink:

 

I've never heard of a woman getting pregnant from precum. Usually men are just too embarrassed to admit they couldn't control themselves and finished inside her w/o protection like an idiot.

 

Either way, that's not something I do.

[obfuscator]

As an aside, just a question for you. Would you still engage in a polyamorous lifestyle if you couldn't use contraception?

 

If I couldn't use contraception (assuming you're including the "pull out method" which doesn't require condoms or the pill or anything :P), I would probably remain single until I researched my "options" to choose the best choice for my long-term happiness.

You do realise that semenal release occurs prior to orgasm and the "pull out method" is nothing but male fantasy in terms of contraception, don't you? :blink:

 

That's not entirely true...not that it's effective, but it does lessen the chances. Just clarifying.

[obfuscator]

 

The woman would very likely be an OLTR instead of an MLTR.

 

??

 

 

Because some women are turned on by the thought of [bleep]ing an older man.

 

Of course. But a minority, not a majority.

 

 

Men our age are generally poor and up to their armpits in debt. They don't have a well-paying job yet and they're still quite emotionally immature. Older men generally have their shit together and therefore are much better "providers."

 

Debt affects people of all ages. Many people are still in debt throughout their middle age and even into their old age.

 

Emotional maturity has very little to do with age, period.

 

 

I think men hit their physical attractiveness peak at around their late 30s. But yeah, plenty of men lose all of their attractiveness when they get older because they don't set goals and take care of themselves. But the men that do take care of themselves can easily compete with men our age, assuming the women are interested in older men.

 

I agree that men's peak physical attractiveness is probably later than women's.

 

"Taking care of yourself" is not something that specifically affects a certain age group. There are people who take care of themselves at our age, and people who take care of themselves at older ages.

 

But there are some biological changes that are going to happen regardless of how much you take care of yourself. Not to mention that as you age and your metabolism slows down, achieving the same fitness goals you had as a twenty year old takes exponentially more work.

[Kimberly]

You call it shallow. I call it biology. :P

 

Cradle robbing will likely give you more drama than dating more age appropriate, attractive women. You say biology, but it's a case where your biology is hurting more than helping. You are basically chasing pipe dreams when you could be preserving your "freedom" and still dating knock-outs who tend to be more independent, less clingy, or both. Especially given you pursue short term relationships mostly, a person losing their attractive qualities are far less pressing since you'll only be with them for a short time. If I understand your lifestyle and philosophy, isn't that better for you in the long run by a country mile?

 

So yeah, that's why I sort of feel it's kind of an immature mentality.

 

EDIT: page gets all over da place

[muggiwhplar]

You call it shallow. I call it biology. :P

 

Cradle robbing will likely give you more drama than dating more age appropriate, attractive women. Especially given you pursue short term relationships mostly, a person losing their attractive qualities are far less pressing since you'll only be with them for a short time. You say biology, but it's a case where your biology is hurting more than helping. You are basically chasing pipe dreams when you could be preserving your "freedom" and still dating knock-outs who are statistically more independent and less clingy. Aka, better for you in the long run.

 

So yeah, it's kind of an immature mentality.

 

EDIT: page gets all over da place

 

As women get older, they generally become more jaded and dramatic-- their expectations go up, while their "quality" goes down. Most guys in their 30s will tell you it's easier to date younger women than women their age, regardless of what you're looking for in a relationship.

 

I don't know where you got the idea that I mostly pursue short term relationships. The longer a relationship lasts for me, the better.

[Kimberly]

As women get older, they generally become more jaded and dramatic-- their expectations go up, while their "quality" goes down.

 

Older women are more likely to settle than younger women because of societal pressures. They might be more jaded, but I sincerely doubt they're more dramatic. Women might hit maturity faster at a younger age than men, but simply put a girl in her 20's is still just a kid barely off her mother's skirts and doesn't know what the [bleep] she's doing in life. Older men might have an easier time with dependent women because of the whole daddy issues scenario but is that really something you'd want to deal with long-term? That sounds like a recipe for disaster.

 

IIRC even BD acknowledges it's a responsibility to date younger women and one that first has to be demonstrated to the girl's parents/family at the same time as demonstrating it to the girl. You wouldn't have to deal with that crap with an older woman...but of course then it's more scary because you'd actually have to deal with them like an equal instead of a sugar daddy. Perish the thought.

 

I don't know where you got the idea that I mostly pursue short term relationships. The longer a relationship lasts for me, the better.

 

Could've swore your online dating experiments were for multiple short term relationships. That's not the case? o_O

[muggiwhplar]

As women get older, they generally become more jaded and dramatic-- their expectations go up, while their "quality" goes down.

 

Older women are more likely to settle than younger women because of societal pressures. They might be more jaded, but I sincerely doubt they're more dramatic. Women might hit maturity faster at a younger age than men, but simply put a girl in her 20's is still just a kid barely off her mother's skirts and doesn't know what the [bleep] she's doing in life. Older men might have an easier time with dependent women because of the whole daddy issues scenario but is that really something you'd want to deal with long-term? That sounds like a recipe for disaster.

 

Those are good questions to be thinking about if you're someone like obfuscator or RpgGamer. But not me :P

 

I don't know where you got the idea that I mostly pursue short term relationships. The longer a relationship lasts for me, the better.

 

Could've swore your online dating experiments were for multiple short term relationships. That's not the case? o_O

 

No, if I could have the same 4 women in my life for the rest of life, that'd make things a lot easier for me. Less time/effort spent replacing them if/when they leave and less risk for STDs and all that :P

[Kimberly]

Those are good questions to be thinking about if you're someone like obfuscator or RpgGamer. But not me :P

 

They're actually more relevant to you than Obfuscator because of your lifestyle. You're in and out of relationships far more often than they are because you're not limited by one relationship at a time. (EDIT: Okay maybe not as relevant as questioning RPG. He might win tragedy/crazy of the year with his one relationship.)

 

Ultimately it boils down to the same thing that you and I continually disagree on which is power and influence and how it affects our pursuits for happiness...so I guess we'll just leave it at that then rather than rehash a 3+ month old debate lol.

 

No, if I could have the same 4 women in my life for the rest of life, that'd make things a lot easier for me. Less time/effort spent replacing them if/when they leave and less risk for STDs and all that :P

 

Well the STD chance isn't lessened in a long term relationship if you're still free to be with other partners is it?

 

And anyway, thank you for clarifying. I don't know how I got so badly mixed up on that and I really hope I didn't offend you @_@

[Vezon Dash]

As an aside, just a question for you. Would you still engage in a polyamorous lifestyle if you couldn't use contraception?

 

If I couldn't use contraception (assuming you're including the "pull out method" which doesn't require condoms or the pill or anything :P), I would probably remain single until I researched my "options" to choose the best choice for my long-term happiness.

You do realise that semenal release occurs prior to orgasm and the "pull out method" is nothing but male fantasy in terms of contraception, don't you? :blink:

 

I've never heard of a woman getting pregnant from precum. Usually men are just too embarrassed to admit they couldn't control themselves and finished inside her w/o protection like an idiot.

 

Either way, that's not something I do.

 

I know a girl that got pregnant from "precum." (what an awful word)

[Kimberly]

Yeah pull-out is something between 70-80% effective if done right. No one here was advocating it, I think, but yeah....it's definitely not sure enough to even be considered a viable method of contraception.

[obfuscator]

Is four your "magic number", muggi?

[muggiwhplar]

Well the STD chance isn't lessened in a long term relationship if you're still free to be with other partners is it?

 

And anyway, thank you for clarifying. I don't know how I got so badly mixed up on that and I really hope I didn't offend you @_@

 

Well what I meant was, having sex 100 times per year, with 100 different one night stands is riskier than having sex 100 times per year with the same 4 women, for example. More importantly, it's also more work lol

 

And you don't need to worry about offending me :P

 

Is four your "magic number", muggi?

 

Depends on my current lifestyle and schedule :P

[obfuscator]

Do you have a magic number, then? Is there some limit to the number of people you can realistically maintain a relationship with?

[Ginger_Warrior]

Well what I meant was, having sex 100 times per year, with 100 different one night stands is riskier than having sex 100 times per year with the same 4 women, for example. More importantly, it's also more work lol

Only half true, since those four women are also having sex with other people, presumably. Although so would the hundred women in the first example.

[muggiwhplar]

Do you have a magic number, then? Is there some limit to the number of people you can realistically maintain a relationship with?

 

My love knows No Limits, y_guy :P

 

Basically as long as I can get laid whenever I want, without seeing the same girl twice a week, I'm happy. So 3-4 girls is pretty much a bare minimum requirement.

[Kimberly]

This is going to sound really rude, and I don't mean it in a rude way...but...

 

Wouldn't it just be cheaper and less stress in the long run to have a prostitute on retainer if "getting laid" was all that mattered? >_>'

[Ginger_Warrior]

Is there any intimacy at all in these relationships? Apart from sexual intimacy, obviously.

[muggiwhplar]

How many times do I have to tell you that I can still have feelings and be romantic with these girls lol

 

A prostitute would be expensive :P

[Kaida23]

A prostitute would be expensive :P

So are wives/long-term girlfriends. :lol:

[Kimberly]

It's not that I think they must be mutually exclusive with a poly lifestyle, just that it seems to be all that you're interested in when you speak of freedom, drama-free lifestyles, etc...

[muggiwhplar]

A prostitute would be expensive :P

So are wives/long-term girlfriends. :lol:

That's what my older brother tells me... :lol: