Jump to content
Da_Latios

"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

Recommended Posts

Your life will be much easier as a woman if you start putting a very high priority on looking as attractive as possible. It's not fair and it's not right, but that's how the world works.


77yLQy8.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I guess that also needs to be in the right social arena too though, because I hate getting wolf whistled and cat calls in public by men, it makes me so mad I don't see it as a compliment. Only last week a guy tried to follow me on and off a bus. Makes me too uncomfortable, but I guess going out and about around uni I could probably fix some things

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I guess that also needs to be in the right social arena too though, because I hate getting wolf whistled and cat calls in public by men, it makes me so mad I don't see it as a compliment. Only last week a guy tried to follow me on and off a bus. Makes me too uncomfortable, but I guess going out and about around uni I could probably fix some things

 

Just feel sad for them, to be honest. Not worth getting frustrated over. Chances are they're more frustrated than you, which is why they resort to cat calling. 

 

As for the first post you made. Muggi is right. Boys will be boys. I think a lot of guys act the way your boyfriend does (did) as a way to seek "approval". I'll call a girl i like a 5/10 and ask my friends what they think. It's stupid and juvenile, but boys don't want to date a girl if everyone else thinks she's ugly. It's good that you confronted him, i guess you had every right to do so. You did (sort of) invade his privacy by doing so, but hey there's no room for privacy in a relationship. 

When i first started seeing my girlfriend like 5 years ago i don't think any of my friends had much good to say about her either. I don't think they really had any problem with her, they probably just had a problem with me potentially spending more time with her and less time with her. One guy though, did have a lot of negative things to say about her. He kept making racial comments (which i found ironic because he was trying his utmost best to get with an Indian girl at the time). If i remember correctly though, he disliked her because she rejected his advances at a party a few months before we started dating. One of my female friends also disliked her, but that was because she had a thing for me but never really made it apparent. So i guess she had a reason to dislike my girlfriend too. I believe i even made some "inappropriate" comments too, but nothing severe. I recall telling a friend of mine that i don't plan on being with this girl for too long. Just have a "summer fling" then move on. Those were my actual intentions at the time, though. But when my relationship with my girlfriend got a bit more serious i sat down with her one day and told her all of this because i didn't want her to hear it from one of my friends. I explained to her why i said the things i said, and i guess she understood them. 

On the other hand, i know she was in more or less the same situation. None of her friends liked me at all. Her closest friends (2 guys and 2 girls) hated me, for no real reason. I was still relatively shy at the time so whenever i spent time with her and her friends, i wouldn't really say much. They took this as "he thinks he's too good for us". One of her guy friends would make a point of it to make me feel uncomfortable, the other one would stare at me, and her girl friend would just not really give me the time of day. Later it came out that her friends thought (knew) i was just trying to use her. The longer i stayed around, the more accepting they became. Of those 4 friends i think only one of them still dislike me, but that's just because our personalities clash a bit.

The two girls like me. One of them is very similar to me. Her relationship with her boyfriend is similar to my relationship with my girlfriend. We basically play the same role in our relationships, so we have a lot to relate to. Whenever we hang out now the two of us get along great. The other guy friend also warmed up to me a lot. We started haning out alone, going to the desert with some of his other friends, stuff like that. He's very selective with whom he hangs out, so being "accepted into his group" is something that doesn't happen very often. Whenever we go out now, him and i get along great too despite not having much in common. 

 

I wouldn't say i ever "tried" to gain their acceptance. I never changed any aspect of my personality or behavior when i was around any of them. I tried to always be myself, do and say the stupid things i always do. Treat my girlfriend the same with them as i would when we were alone, even if some of it was a bit weird or embarrassing. Gaining their "respect" or having them finally "approve of me" just took some time, but it's not something i kept calendar of. I didn't  go to sleep every night telling myself "only x-amount of days left till they like me". I kind of figured that (and this is how i still feel) i'm dating her. I'm not dating her friends and her family. Whether they like/accept me or not is really not any of my concern. It doesn't bother me. It shouldn't bother me. It won't bother me. Whether they talk shit about me when i leave the room or not doesn't bother me. And when they talk shit to my face i'll give them my opinion on the matter, tell them i respect their opinion, and let it go. How they feel about me after that is up to them and really doesn't phase me. Generally i get along with most people i meet anyway, because in real life i play the role of the "helpful" and "nice-guy". 

 

Point is... He's still with you right now. If he's attractive enough to have caught your attention he's attractive enough to have caught the attention of several other girls. You're not his only option. He's not with you because you're "a nice girl and he doesn't want to hurt your feelings". If he's wiling to talk bad about you behind your back, do you honestly think he's going to care about hurting your feelings? Chances are he won't. 

 

If he's said any of those things recently, or says any of those things in the future, i'd question it. But seeing as it was all said before you actually started dating it's probably just approval seeing and slight immaturity. Nothing to stress over.

 

 

Sorry for the wall, kind of went off an a tangent. Combination of medication and exams stress, lol.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

Point is... He's still with you right now. If he's attractive enough to have caught your attention he's attractive enough to have caught the attention of several other girls. You're not his only option. He's not with you because you're "a nice girl and he doesn't want to hurt your feelings". If he's wiling to talk bad about you behind your back, do you honestly think he's going to care about hurting your feelings? Chances are he won't. 

 

If he's said any of those things recently, or says any of those things in the future, i'd question it. But seeing as it was all said before you actually started dating it's probably just approval seeing and slight immaturity. Nothing to stress over.

 

I was thinking the same thing sorta.

 

My friend whom I've mentioned in the past is engaged now to a girl that's below his previous "standards." She's anorexic, super dramatic/[bleep]y, etc. Their relationship is notorious for being super unhealthy from the get-go. He always would complain to me about the relationship in the past, and I obviously told him to just end it... but he didn't because he was too afraid to hurt her feelings and he felt like a dick. So now he's engaged instead >_> So now the question is: has he been w/ her long enough that he's actually grown to "love" her? Or is he just too afraid to break up with her and would rather get married instead? Probably a little bit of both, but we'll never know :P


77yLQy8.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

 

Point is... He's still with you right now. If he's attractive enough to have caught your attention he's attractive enough to have caught the attention of several other girls. You're not his only option. He's not with you because you're "a nice girl and he doesn't want to hurt your feelings". If he's wiling to talk bad about you behind your back, do you honestly think he's going to care about hurting your feelings? Chances are he won't. 

 

If he's said any of those things recently, or says any of those things in the future, i'd question it. But seeing as it was all said before you actually started dating it's probably just approval seeing and slight immaturity. Nothing to stress over.

 

I was thinking the same thing sorta.

 

My friend whom I've mentioned in the past is engaged now to a girl that's below his previous "standards." She's anorexic, super dramatic/[bleep]y, etc. Their relationship is notorious for being super unhealthy from the get-go. He always would complain to me about the relationship in the past, and I obviously told him to just end it... but he didn't because he was too afraid to hurt her feelings and he felt like a dick. So now he's engaged instead >_> So now the question is: has he been w/ her long enough that he's actually grown to "love" her? Or is he just too afraid to break up with her and would rather get married instead? Probably a little bit of both, but we'll never know :P

 

I think in a situation like that you don't grow to love a person, you learn to tolerate the things that used to annoy you. Or you choose to ignore them because you know it's only going to start an argument when you bring it up. I think this shows a lack of self-worth, to be honest. Having to change yourself to accommodate (possibly drastically) your partner. If you're unable to communicate these things without fear of altercation, or without the ability to handle such an altercation, you should not be in said relationship to begin with. Very unhealthy.

If something bothers me, i talk to my girlfriend about it, we find a mutual solution. Relationships are (and should be) give a bit, get a bit. You can't be on the giving side the whole time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I skimmed the last couple posts that ill read later, but damn Maddy that's a tough call. In your shoes I wouldnt have my self respect if I stayed with him, but thats just me. Not to mention the lack of trust is a lack of relationship success when snooping. Albeit, you were rather taunted into it. Ultimately you have to evaluate your continual happiness with him. If you really cant get over it (I probably wouldn't personally) then dont waste your time with him


Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

All caught up now.

 

Real friends tell friends when its time to be single again


Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

 

Point is... He's still with you right now. If he's attractive enough to have caught your attention he's attractive enough to have caught the attention of several other girls. You're not his only option. He's not with you because you're "a nice girl and he doesn't want to hurt your feelings". If he's wiling to talk bad about you behind your back, do you honestly think he's going to care about hurting your feelings? Chances are he won't. 

 

If he's said any of those things recently, or says any of those things in the future, i'd question it. But seeing as it was all said before you actually started dating it's probably just approval seeing and slight immaturity. Nothing to stress over.

 

I was thinking the same thing sorta.

 

My friend whom I've mentioned in the past is engaged now to a girl that's below his previous "standards." She's anorexic, super dramatic/[bleep]y, etc. Their relationship is notorious for being super unhealthy from the get-go. He always would complain to me about the relationship in the past, and I obviously told him to just end it... but he didn't because he was too afraid to hurt her feelings and he felt like a dick. So now he's engaged instead >_> So now the question is: has he been w/ her long enough that he's actually grown to "love" her? Or is he just too afraid to break up with her and would rather get married instead? Probably a little bit of both, but we'll never know :P

 

 

Stockholm syndrome?

  • Like 1

Squab unleashes Megiddo! Completed all quests and hard diaries. 75+ Skiller. (At one point.) 2000+ total. 99 Magic.
[spoiler=The rest of my sig. You know you wanna see it.]

my difinition of noob is i dont like u, either u are better then me or u are worst them me

Buying spins make you a bad person...don't do it. It's like buying nukes for North Korea.

Well if it bothers you that the game is more fun now, then you can go cry in a corner. :shame:

your article was the equivalent of a circumcized porcupine

The only thing wrong with it is the lack of a percentage for when you need to stroke it.

 


7ApdH.png
squabharpy.png
Poignant Purple to Lokie's Ravishing Red and Alg's Brilliant Blue.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Apparently a girl just expressed her feelings for me.

 

Whilst I am working abroad. And have done so for the last 2 months and will do for one more week.

 

I had it so easy in here, with just work on my mind.

 

I liked her. Back in Spring. But here, I have pretty much forgotten everything from before summer. I've got shitloads of work to do.

 

She expects an answer. But I can't give one until I've settled back in. It is just 2 different lives for me.


t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just say yes, then tell her that your schedule is uncertain at the moment as you are moving back.


19509_s.gif

 

“I had a feeling we weren’t coming back from this fight when it began.”

“Do you have any regrets?”

“I don’t. It seems surprising, I know, but I wouldn’t change a thing. This is how it was meant to be.”

“Huh, you never really notice how lovely the day is until you realize you’ll never see it again.”

“Mmmhmm.”

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Erm... sorry to be the one to break it to you but chances are her feelings aren't genuine. It's probably just because you're in a different country, so it's safe for her to express emotions to someone because if you reject her there won't be any of that awkwardness.

So yeah.... If i were you i'd tell her to go [bleep] herself. Cause chances are, the moment you tell her you're coming back her feeling will magically disappear. I got the same shit from girls in South Africa when i moved from SA to Qatar. I got the same shit from girls in Qatar when i moved back to SA for a year. I got the same shit again when i moved back to Qatar. And i got the same shit when i moved back from the US to Qatar. Girls who were just friends suddenly trip over their own feet to tell you how much they like you.

 

Or you could be stupid and fall for it, then a few months from now you can post here about how i was right. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The thing is, she knew I'd be back in a week.


t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The thing is, she knew I'd be back in a week.

Doesn't matter. The fact still remains that you're not there right now. You'll see. You'll go out on a date with her, maybe two. She'll realise she didn't feel anything. She'll move on. You'll feel like shit.

I don't know if you ever watched the episode of How i met your Mother where Ted was thinking about breaking up with Zoey, but then he got "breakup-goggles" which is similar to "beer-goggles".

That's what she's having right now.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I dont want to side with Noxx on this, but his experience of country to country moving far surpasses my own


Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Meanwhile, on POF...

 

Was using my standard copy and paste close to schedule a date w/ a girl and she was reluctant to meet up, so I had to overturn her objections. She seemed like she was just going to end up being a flake until she gave me her number. Who knows, we'll see. Scheduling dates this far away usually isn't a good idea but oh well.

 

 

Me: Ok, you seem safe enough. :) We should meet up-- something simple like coffee or drinks. I'm going out of town tomorrow, though, so I'm not free until Tuesday or Wednesday evening after 7. If you're up for it, let me know if either of those work for you and I'll give you a time and a place

Her: Well your very forward and used to planning things I can see lol how do I know your not a serial killer ?

Me: I AM a serial killer. Hope that's not a deal breaker. :) Haha I don't think I've ever heard of a serial killer going on a rampage at Starbucks though.

Her: Hahhaha ya never know there's always a first for everything all that caffeine you never know what could happen hahahha ....ummm what kind of serial killer are u cuz that could be a deal breaker ?

Me: Haha I didn't know there were different "species" of serial killers. Whichever the most attractive type of serial killer is-- I'm that one. :) Does Tuesday night at 8pm work for you?

Her: Lol it does work for Me actually as long as I get off work on time

Me: Alright cool. There's a Starbucks at _____. Let's meet up there on Tuesday night at 8. My number's ______

Her: Okay ...well my number is __________

Me: Cool I'll shoot you a text later this week

Her: Okay


With the exception of one message I sent (because I knew she'd respond to it), notice how every message I send is either a call to action or asking a question. Otherwise, there's a good chance the conversation will suddenly die. :thumbup:


77yLQy8.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Did this stuff work for you while you were still in college/for girls still in college? I don't think I've met a girl my age (20ish) with an OKCupid or PlentyOfFish account, a lot of them talk about their tinders though

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

^ I don't really see why it wouldn't work. It certainly wouldn't hurt to try

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dating sites seem to be semi regional


Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Her grammar killed my boner


polvCwJ.gif
"It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Meanwhile, on POF...

 

Was using my standard copy and paste close to schedule a date w/ a girl and she was reluctant to meet up, so I had to overturn her objections. She seemed like she was just going to end up being a flake until she gave me her number. Who knows, we'll see. Scheduling dates this far away usually isn't a good idea but oh well.

 

 

Me: Ok, you seem safe enough. :) We should meet up-- something simple like coffee or drinks. I'm going out of town tomorrow, though, so I'm not free until Tuesday or Wednesday evening after 7. If you're up for it, let me know if either of those work for you and I'll give you a time and a place

 

Her: Well your very forward and used to planning things I can see lol how do I know your not a serial killer ?

 

Me: I AM a serial killer. Hope that's not a deal breaker. :) Haha I don't think I've ever heard of a serial killer going on a rampage at Starbucks though.

 

Her: Hahhaha ya never know there's always a first for everything all that caffeine you never know what could happen hahahha ....ummm what kind of serial killer are u cuz that could be a deal breaker ?

 

Me: Haha I didn't know there were different "species" of serial killers. Whichever the most attractive type of serial killer is-- I'm that one. :) Does Tuesday night at 8pm work for you?

 

Her: Lol it does work for Me actually as long as I get off work on time

 

Me: Alright cool. There's a Starbucks at _____. Let's meet up there on Tuesday night at 8. My number's ______

 

Her: Okay ...well my number is __________

 

Me: Cool I'll shoot you a text later this week

 

Her: Okay

 

 

With the exception of one message I sent (because I knew she'd respond to it), notice how every message I send is either a call to action or asking a question. Otherwise, there's a good chance the conversation will suddenly die. :thumbup:

 

 

Her grammar killed my boner

 

This times....a lot


rosssigfinal.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Grammar is one of those things that should be proper, even via texts, until you know someone fairly well. It just makes you sound either uneducated or lazy when you don't put in the effort, and it leaves a bad first impression.

 

 

However, since Muggi is just out to slay some poon, it doesn't really matter that much I suppose....


19509_s.gif

 

“I had a feeling we weren’t coming back from this fight when it began.”

“Do you have any regrets?”

“I don’t. It seems surprising, I know, but I wouldn’t change a thing. This is how it was meant to be.”

“Huh, you never really notice how lovely the day is until you realize you’ll never see it again.”

“Mmmhmm.”

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I didn't start using the dating sites until after I graduated, but I'm sure it would still work while in college. Most of the girls I date are still in college.

 

As far as grammar goes, the vast majority of women don't use proper grammar (even the ones with advanced degrees). Hell, I think most people in general these days don't understand proper grammar. It's just how the world works.


77yLQy8.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your and youre get autocorrected incorrectly pretty often, if that's the only transgression, I'm willing to look over it


Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I didn't start using the dating sites until after I graduated, but I'm sure it would still work while in college. Most of the girls I date are still in college.

 

As far as grammar goes, the vast majority of women don't use proper grammar (even the ones with advanced degrees). Hell, I think most people in general these days don't understand proper grammar. It's just how the world works.

 

I find it far more likely that people just don't care and don't even try. If they can get dates whilst using poor grammar, what motivation do they have to use good grammar?


Squab unleashes Megiddo! Completed all quests and hard diaries. 75+ Skiller. (At one point.) 2000+ total. 99 Magic.
[spoiler=The rest of my sig. You know you wanna see it.]

my difinition of noob is i dont like u, either u are better then me or u are worst them me

Buying spins make you a bad person...don't do it. It's like buying nukes for North Korea.

Well if it bothers you that the game is more fun now, then you can go cry in a corner. :shame:

your article was the equivalent of a circumcized porcupine

The only thing wrong with it is the lack of a percentage for when you need to stroke it.

 


7ApdH.png
squabharpy.png
Poignant Purple to Lokie's Ravishing Red and Alg's Brilliant Blue.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.