"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[RpgGamer]

Meet up doesn't have to be within 24 hours, but a commitment to one does. I wouldn't make it further than a week though.

 

I've been accused of copy paste messages and I dont even use them, I just structure my openers like one. Girls like feeling like their special. Just make that clear one way or another.

[muggiwhplar]

Yeah if I'm messaging a girl on a Monday, I always try to schedule the date on Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday night. And I always send them a confirmation 24 hours prior to make sure they don't forget/flake. Anything longer than that means they're going to flake if they didn't give me their phone number. If they gave me their phone number, I have a text conversation w/ them a day or two before meeting up so they don't forget about me :P

[obfuscator]

Yeah if I'm messaging a girl on a Monday, I always try to schedule the date on Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday night. And I always send them a confirmation 24 hours prior to make sure they don't forget/flake. Anything longer than that means they're going to flake if they didn't give me their phone number. If they gave me their phone number, I have a text conversation w/ them a day or two before meeting up so they don't forget about me :P

how do you start that? I'm picturing:

 

Muggi: DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME, PLEASE!!!!!!!

[RpgGamer]

First listen to the soundtrack to the breakfast club.

 

I always get the number before agreeing to meet up. It ensures a confident commitment. Think back to the PUA days when changing locations was a strong tell of commitment to the personal interaction at hand. If they follow you to a new location - youre in. If they follow you to a new medium of contact - youre in. The more social media they offer to connect you too, the stronger her desire for you

[muggiwhplar]

 

Yeah if I'm messaging a girl on a Monday, I always try to schedule the date on Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday night. And I always send them a confirmation 24 hours prior to make sure they don't forget/flake. Anything longer than that means they're going to flake if they didn't give me their phone number. If they gave me their phone number, I have a text conversation w/ them a day or two before meeting up so they don't forget about me :P

how do you start that? I'm picturing:

 

Muggi: DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME, PLEASE!!!!!!!

 

 

lol I usually say "hey just confirming tomorrow night at 8"

 

First listen to the soundtrack to the breakfast club.

 

I always get the number before agreeing to meet up. It ensures a confident commitment. Think back to the PUA days when changing locations was a strong tell of commitment to the personal interaction at hand. If they follow you to a new location - youre in. If they follow you to a new medium of contact - youre in. The more social media they offer to connect you too, the stronger her desire for you

 

Well when I close them, I say something along the lines of "I'm free at x and y times. if you're up for it, let me know if either of those work for you and I'll give you a time and a place."

 

if they say they're free, then I say "ok cool. let's meet up at x at y time. my number's z."

 

I never actually ask for their numbers. I just give them mine once they agree to meet up. If they give me their number or text me immediately afterwards, that's always great. it's pretty common that they won't give me their number or text me until the day of the date though. the confirmation message I send 24 hours ahead of time pretty much guarantees that they'll either show up or they'll tell me they can't make it when I'm confirming.

 

 

I don't think I ever explicitly ask them anything, even if I need an answer, since that dramatically raises the odds of them declining whatever it is you're asking for (just basic sales psychology).

 

instead of "what's your phone number" or "can I get your phone number?"

"my number's xxxx. shoot me a text if you want." or simply "my number's xxxx"

 

instead of "hey are we still on for tomorrow night?"

"hey just confirming that we're still on for tomorrow night."

 

instead of "do you want to meet up?"

"let's meet up. I'm free at x and y times. if you're up for it, let me know if either of those work for you."

 

there's also a certain degree of indifference (another key sales principle :P) in those messages. nothing's a big deal, they're free to make whatever decision they want; doesn't matter to me.

[muggiwhplar]

So in other words, my goal isn't necessarily to turn every girl into a "yes." It's simply to find out if she's a "yes" or "no" ASAP so I can figure out if I'm wasting my time or not :P

[RpgGamer]

Precisely. By "getting her number" my method usually finds a way out of the conversation but to be resumed later like "Im about to head to a friends house but if you wanna keep talking, my number is xxxxxxx and I'll give you a call later". That way if I dont get a text or a call I know she's out to waste my time. Theres not so much a question as there is a heavy suggestion

[Tim]

Tinder/grinder pro-tip: (this is an obvious strategy but not one I want spread all over the internet or it'll be self defeating)

 

Swipe right 100%. Give only a validation of person in your description (instagram, snap chat, etc). Less than 4 photos that each promote an attractive feature about you (your friends at a bar, graduation photo, driving something, your face at a good angle.

 

Dont even look. Just swipe right. Any girl(or guy) thats into you will be a connection anyway and anyone you "accidentally" connect with can easily be ignored. They get the confidence that someone found them attractive and you get the advantage of weeding out anyone not interested in you. I average about 1 match every 100 swipes but you have to account for user activity and other algorithms. From those matches you can then use the "muggiw method" of getting in, sealing the deal and getting out. Time is of the essence. No allusion to meeting up within 24 hours? Move on. Theres swiping to be done

 

grindr functinons with basic messaging system, there's no swipe left/right. Which means you'll get messaged by pretty much anyone within the loading list's range including 60 year old men looking for a boy-toy, guys into STIs, sluts, virgins, quiet guys (like me), attention [bleep] etc etc. The list goes on.

[Low Levelled]

Wait... People are actually into STIs?

[muggiwhplar]

Wait... People are actually into STIs?

 

lol it's probably for people who already have herpes, for example, but are only looking for other people with herpes. that way they don't have to worry about giving herpes to someone who didn't already have it.

[Tim]

What he said.

[Low Levelled]

How... Considerate of them

[RpgGamer]

There is a fetish for contacting sti's. I think it's called bug hunting or something like that. Very odd. Usually derived from denial and over compensation of conquering fear.

 

Having not used grinder I assumed it was the same mechanic as tinder. I suppose the strategy would have to change as open messages can vary dramatically pending target audience

[Jeffwilson99]

Eh some of my conversations have stalled because I can't meet anyone because I don't arrive in London for another three or so weeks. 
 

Soon.jpg

[RpgGamer]

http://www.vice.com/read/the-looking-for-a-girlfriend-flyer-guy-in-new-york-is-getting-laid-way-more-than-you-311?utm_source=vicefbus

 

This is fascinating. Reminds me of a video Muggiw posted a while back

[Tim]

Eh some of my conversations have stalled because I can't meet anyone because I don't arrive in London for another three or so weeks. 

 

Soon.jpg

 

You can take me with you <3

 

girls love gay wing-men. (so I've noticed lately anyway)

[Jeffwilson99]

 

Eh some of my conversations have stalled because I can't meet anyone because I don't arrive in London for another three or so weeks. 

 

Soon.jpg

 

You can take me with you <3

 

girls love gay wing-men. (so I've noticed lately anyway)

 

 

Sure thing TImmy, you charm 'em I'll harm em. Wait. I mean you ram 'em and I'll slam him...

 

Uhhh anyway. First sign of great success on OKC is after one or two messages and they leave their name at the end of the message. It's like "I like you so call me by my first name". 

[RpgGamer]

Tell them they're temporary and they won't mean a thing (not really I've just been listening to circa survive lately)

 

Getting on a real name basis is a good step, but it may be even better when its an after thought. "Here's my number" and then in the text message "oh wait my real name is this". But that could also be worse? I'll have to ruminate on that one a bit...

[nine naked men]

you croon 'em, i'll spoon 'em

[muggiwhplar]

you [bleep] 'em, i'll [bleep] 'em

[Kalphite]

So the night before Halloween I met a girl while we were in line at the thrift store to buy our costumes. We kept talking throughout the line, but eventually the lines split and she finished checking out first, but still waited for me to finish checking out to say goodbye. I had to go to a meeting so we went opposite ways after that, but we were both planning on going to the same halloween party the next night and thought we might meet there.

 

Come Halloween I never actually made it to that party, as my apartment's pregame ended up getting big enough to not have to leave (and I blacked out, but...shhh). However, I decided to add the girl on facebook a couple days later on a whim, as we had a couple mutual friends so she was easy to find.

 

Well she started messaging me last night, and after a couple messages I pitched a meet and she was super enthusiastic. So now I have a date saturday (y). It feels really great doing this with someone I met in person like that rather than over Tinder and I have a feeling it will go a lot better than either of my tinder dates so far have because it won't be the awkward first-time-ever-meeting phase and she seems a lot more interested than the other girls did. Here goes~

 

Edit: Also I'm convinced the "hey you seem interesting" style openers utterly do not work in the context of tinder where half the girls dont actually have anything about themselves on their profiles. What other kinds of openers have you guys had luck with? being called out on that and trying to come up with a shitty answer and not getting any more messages from someone you matched with is p lame lol. though i guess these girls giving me shit for that are probably the same ones that just wouldn't have answered otherwise.

[RpgGamer]

I lovjdks youe oh mother [bleep]ed.

[Low Levelled]

I love your oh mother [bleep]ed.

 

Any other translations?

[obfuscator]

I love you mother [bleep]ers

[Jeffwilson99]

To be fair Tinder is ridiculously hit and miss. I think girls get so many matches that unless they really think you're hot, they probably won't reply. 

 

But congrats on the date, you done good son.