Horatio Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 I want someone in my life who loves me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saradomin_Mage Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 That's a pretty big expectation out of someone. In real life MMO you don't get 99 smithing by making endless bronze daggers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noxx Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 That's not really a good reason to want a girlfriend. And to be honest if you ever find yourself saying "i want a girlfriend" then you should already know that you're not "ready" for a girlfriend. It's not the kind of thing you should actively find yourself looking for. It's something that should just happen naturally. That's why they call it "falling in love" and not "planning in love". No one plans to fall, it's something that happens unexpectedly. This should be your philosophy with relationships as well. Chances are, with your current mindset, if you do find a girlfriend or someone with girlfriend potential, you're going to drive her away with your seemingly needy attitude. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 Nobody likes me. I want someone to care about me. Because of this, nobody will. What am I supposed to do? Or is affection like job experience in that you need it in order to get it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noxx Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 Nobody likes me. I want someone to care about me. Because of this, nobody will. What am I supposed to do? Or is affection like job experience in that you need it in order to get it?Do you like yourself? Give me 5 things you like about yourself? Sorry if this reply seems harsh/stupid, but it sounds to me like you might have some psychological problems and that you need to learn to love yourself first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
obfuscator Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 Yep. You can't expect other people to like you if you don't like yourself. "It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muggiwhplar Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 Not only that but you're also more likely to tolerate a shitty relationship if you can't handle being single. Nobody likes me. I want someone to care about me. Because of this, nobody will. What am I supposed to do? Or is affection like job experience in that you need it in order to get it? I'd recommend this to every beginner out there: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOv1T6i-23oFUYtYCUhpyUtqZd2tv9iKb It does wonders for your mindset and self-esteem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 I feel like I'm hijacking this thread. Would any of you mind talking to me over PM (or anywhere else)? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Gabe Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 I feel like I'm hijacking this thread. Would any of you mind talking to me over PM (or anywhere else)?I wouldn't worry about that. This is why this thread is here. We often focus on 1 individual at a time. Three months banishment to 9gag is something i would never wish upon anybody, not even my worst enemy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 I feel like I'm hijacking this thread. Would any of you mind talking to me over PM (or anywhere else)?I wouldn't worry about that. This is why this thread is here. We often focus on 1 individual at a time. Okay Nobody likes me. I want someone to care about me. Because of this, nobody will. What am I supposed to do? Or is affection like job experience in that you need it in order to get it?Do you like yourself? Give me 5 things you like about yourself? Sorry if this reply seems harsh/stupid, but it sounds to me like you might have some psychological problems and that you need to learn to love yourself first. I don't like myself. N/A Why do you need to love yourself before someone else can love you? Yep. You can't expect other people to like you if you don't like yourself.Why? Not only that but you're also more likely to tolerate a shitty relationship if you can't handle being single. Nobody likes me. I want someone to care about me. Because of this, nobody will. What am I supposed to do? Or is affection like job experience in that you need it in order to get it? I'd recommend this to every beginner out there: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOv1T6i-23oFUYtYCUhpyUtqZd2tv9iKb It does wonders for your mindset and self-esteem.That guy is attractive. I'm not. I feel like trying to apply whatever advice is in those videos would be like telling a black person to improve how strangers treat them by going to more country clubs. Nobody likes me. I want someone to care about me. Because of this, nobody will. What am I supposed to do? Or is affection like job experience in that you need it in order to get it? Don't look to someone to solve your issues (self worth and need to feel loved). Find a way to solve those then find someone enjoy your happiness with. How can you solve these? Look to your relationships with people who love you like your family - express gratitude for how they've helped you along in life and make an effort to get closer to them, get closer to your existing friends - invite them to events with you or tell them a secret, look to therapists if you have additional issues (they are professionals who are there to help you, theres no shame in going to them!), etc. Don't go to a girl and have her fix your baggage. So because I'm not happy, I should keep to myself and somehow magically get happy. Only then do I have the honor of talking to people? My family openly tells me they hate me. Thanks for assuming that they love me, though. That made me feel really good. I had a therapist, but he moved and there are no other therapists that meet my criteria near me. I honestly don't even know what you mean by "having a girl fix your baggage". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalphite Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 Horatio, for context, how old are you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 Horatio, for context, how old are you?21 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir_Squab Posted October 10, 2014 Share Posted October 10, 2014 I feel like I'm hijacking this thread. Would any of you mind talking to me over PM (or anywhere else)?I wouldn't worry about that. This is why this thread is here. We often focus on 1 individual at a time. Okay Nobody likes me. I want someone to care about me. Because of this, nobody will. What am I supposed to do? Or is affection like job experience in that you need it in order to get it?Do you like yourself? Give me 5 things you like about yourself? Sorry if this reply seems harsh/stupid, but it sounds to me like you might have some psychological problems and that you need to learn to love yourself first. I don't like myself. N/A Why do you need to love yourself before someone else can love you? Hoo boy. So, there's more to relationships then this, but... think about getting into a relationship like sales for a moment. You are selling yourself. Not in the sense of prostitution, in the sense of trying to get people to pick your product over the competitor's. Pretend you own a car and you're selling it. Now some guys are like "here's this lamborghini that's awesome" or "here's this 30 year old sports car that I spent the past 3 years fixing up." And then there's you: "my car is a piece of crap. Please buy it." So, you've either got a car that is legitimately sucky and need to spend time fixing it up before someone will buy it, or you've got a half decent car and you need to stop comparing it to lamborginis. Anyways, it really sounds like step one for you is getting a good therapist. And if your parents tell you they hate you, you need to find good enough work so you can move out and cut contact with them. Squab unleashes Megiddo! Completed all quests and hard diaries. 75+ Skiller. (At one point.) 2000+ total. 99 Magic.[spoiler=The rest of my sig. You know you wanna see it.]my difinition of noob is i dont like u, either u are better then me or u are worst them meBuying spins make you a bad person...don't do it. It's like buying nukes for North Korea.Well if it bothers you that the game is more fun now, then you can go cry in a corner. :shame:your article was the equivalent of a circumcized porcupineThe only thing wrong with it is the lack of a percentage for when you need to stroke it. Poignant Purple to Lokie's Ravishing Red and Alg's Brilliant Blue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muggiwhplar Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 EVERYBODY has something to be grateful for. Are you alive? Do you have two arms and legs? Do you have internet access? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RpgGamer Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 Spend more time being a good person and less time trying to find good people. Quote Quote Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic. Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos. PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude Steam: NippleBeardTM Origin: Brand_New_iPwn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riku3220 Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 Nobody likes me. I want someone to care about me. Because of this, nobody will. What am I supposed to do? Or is affection like job experience in that you need it in order to get it?Do you like yourself? Give me 5 things you like about yourself? Sorry if this reply seems harsh/stupid, but it sounds to me like you might have some psychological problems and that you need to learn to love yourself first. I don't like myself. N/A Why do you need to love yourself before someone else can love you? Yep. You can't expect other people to like you if you don't like yourself.Why?Because you'll never be able to get into a relationship if you aren't a desirable person first. People don't fall in love with another person for no reason, they need to find something attractive about them. The girl you asked out for example, you probably thought she was pretty or cute, or that she seemed like a fun person to be around. She has desirable qualities. From what you've described of yourself, you either have no desirable qualities (which is pretty much impossible) or your negative qualities are completely overshadowing your positive ones. This means that you need to both eliminate your negative ones (possibly by seeing a new therapist, getting away from your family, and making other such changes in your life) and both add and strengthen your positive ones. By doing this, you'll not only be happier on your own, but your likelihood of finding a girlfriend will be much higher than it is now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boris5000 Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 In other - completely unrelated news. Not-so-much-relationship-advice-but-people-advice. There was a seminar about PhD's and the future "prospects" that majority of my peers (including my ex) had attended. After said seminar - I do the (socially-acceptable) thing where you talk to people. As I made my way around, chatting to people/friends about what we just heard, I end up conversing with my Ex, she showed me her new Lou Reed record that she bought prior to the seminar. So we were talking about what we had heard in the seminar "Much Scary", "wowe" (OWTTE). Then suddenly she teared up and abruptly left. I felt 110% embarrassed. n.b. we broke up about 4-5 months ago and it had been friendly and not (that) weird since we came back to uni. Anyway - me, now feeling super embarrassed and concerned. Later I shoot her a text saying "Sorry I upset you", she replied she "Not your fault, I had an existential crisis as she didn't know what the hell was going on in the seminar, and she felt very inadequate". I guess I have to leave it at that because even if I want/offer to help she is unlikely to accept it. Just sharing ^^' Luck be a Lady Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RpgGamer Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 If breakups were a competition, id say you won Boris Quote Quote Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic. Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos. PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude Steam: NippleBeardTM Origin: Brand_New_iPwn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tim Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 EVERYBODY has something to be grateful for. Are you alive? Do you have two arms and legs? Do you have internet access?I don't know about Horatio, but if you said that to anyone in his position suffering depression (hi) they'd slap you. NEVER do the "be grateful for" line, all it does is make them feel guilty that they're being "selfish" and in turn makes them hate themselves even more-so. I already had a 'bout of it last night. Popoto.~<3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boris5000 Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 If breakups were a competition, id say you won BorisI am not sure how to take that xD? Luck be a Lady Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 Spend more time being a good person and less time trying to find good people.Why do you think I'm a bad person? I don't disagree with you, but how can you have any opinion of me at this point other than "pathetic whiny loser"? Anyway, my old therapist has been replaced and I'll probably start seeing the therapist he was replaced with within a month. As for needing to have desirable qualities in order to get a girlfriend, well, what kind of qualities are you talking about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boris5000 Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 As for needing to have desirable qualities in order to get a girlfriend, well, what kind of qualities are you talking about?Be interesting and be interested*(**) are the two I would rate high up on the list of attractive qualities. *and by interested I mean, be interested in what you are doing, your hobbies and if any, philosophical or religious or political virtues you may hold (you don't HAVE to share them).** A potential mate would already know you are interested so being interested in them does not count as a quality Luck be a Lady Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muggiwhplar Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 EVERYBODY has something to be grateful for. Are you alive? Do you have two arms and legs? Do you have internet access?I don't know about Horatio, but if you said that to anyone in his position suffering depression (hi) they'd slap you. NEVER do the "be grateful for" line, all it does is make them feel guilty that they're being "selfish" and in turn makes them hate themselves even more-so. I already had a 'bout of it last night.That sort of just proves my point >_> 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horatio Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 This is part of why I don't like asking for help online. The vast majority of people have no clue what it's like to be depressed. I could go on about this, but I feel like I'd be derailing the thread even more (I do appreciate you trying to help, though, Tim). If I don't like myself, I can't get a girlfriend, right? I don't like myself because I'm not good at anything. I'm not good at anything because of reasons I can't control (genetics, lack of chemical waste to give me superpowers, but mostly genetics). Should I just give up, or should I pray for a meteor with martian bacteria to crash into my room and give me superpowers? I'm going to see the new therapist, but there's no way he can change the fact that I'm below-average in everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RpgGamer Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 Spend more time being a good person and less time trying to find good people.Why do you think I'm a bad person? I don't disagree with you, but how can you have any opinion of me at this point other than "pathetic whiny loser"? Anyway, my old therapist has been replaced and I'll probably start seeing the therapist he was replaced with within a month. As for needing to have desirable qualities in order to get a girlfriend, well, what kind of qualities are you talking about?Read my part of this quote chain. Now do it again. Where did I say you were a whiny loser? When did I say you were a bad person? I didn't. Read it again. You said those things about yourself. Youre the one holding you back. Take responsibility and control your own destiny. 1 Quote Quote Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic. Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos. PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude Steam: NippleBeardTM Origin: Brand_New_iPwn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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