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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice


Da_Latios

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^^^ Pretty much.

Squab unleashes Megiddo! Completed all quests and hard diaries. 75+ Skiller. (At one point.) 2000+ total. 99 Magic.
[spoiler=The rest of my sig. You know you wanna see it.]

my difinition of noob is i dont like u, either u are better then me or u are worst them me

Buying spins make you a bad person...don't do it. It's like buying nukes for North Korea.

Well if it bothers you that the game is more fun now, then you can go cry in a corner. :shame:

your article was the equivalent of a circumcized porcupine

The only thing wrong with it is the lack of a percentage for when you need to stroke it.

 


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Well time to post my story - I just feel like sharing, I'm not looking for a solution to my non-existent problem.

 

My Ex broke up with me about 3 months ago, we had started to drift apart over the exam period and she doesn't well with stress hugely well and I am not too bothered by it, but I let her have her space. All in all her reasoning for breaking up with me was that she wanted to be alone for awhile and figure herself out (something along those lines). I accepted the reason because I am a mature, rational adult. And we parted ways, and we have exchanged brief/passing comments through social media since then. 

 

But now since we are returning to University and we are on the same course but we only share a couple of modules so I won't see her that much. I am not particularly wanting to re-engage a relationship or even begin a casual/[bleep]buddy relationship with said Ex despite being a lovely person (who let me touch her with my naughty bits); had a range of bad habits and is very much one of those girls who drinks way too much (I do not drink at all). With that being said I am interested in engaging in a new relationship but I am about as romantic as a fish and denser than Osmium. The more sensible thing to do would be to avoid dating altogether and focus on my degree as I am entering a very important year for that. 

 

TL;DR

Boris was sad, now not that sad. Is unsure how to feel about the next coming months - but is interested in pursuing a new relationship and not rekindling the old one.

 

Also how does one do online dating - that seems like a more convenient way to speak to females without having to talk to girls. I don't think I would want to try Tinder though :P

Luck be a Lady

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Like I said before, the better sites are regionally based. Tinder is meh in my area, but good in vegas. Okcupid blows in my area, but its awesome 20 miles north. As for how it works? Basically just sell yourself like a product and close deals as quick as possible. You may have luck you may not, just as in offline dating. I however advise you to not turn to online dating but instead further your studies and maybe work on that romance thing.

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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

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Long story short, I had a crush on this girl, took my chances and asked her out. she actually said yes. However, we don't live exactly close to each other (~4 hours by train) and well, she's my first girlfriend. Basically, any advice and how do I tell my parents (i'm 16 btw)?

 

Well first things first, kudos to you for having the balls to ask out a girl you had a crush on. That alone puts you waaaaaaay ahead of most guys. If you don't believe me, go look at how many guys post in this thread about their fears of asking girls out :P

 

 

With that said... :twisted:

 

Long distance relationships are generally a bad idea. If both of you have very low sex drives and are unattractive/bad at dating, then long distance relationships aren't as bad (though I still would never recommend one to anyone). Otherwise, expect cheating and/or tension.

 

You're young though. Since I imagine you're going to ignore my advice, just learn as much as you can about sex, relationships, and women from this girl while you can :P

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Well time to post my story - I just feel like sharing, I'm not looking for a solution to my non-existent problem.

 

My Ex broke up with me about 3 months ago, we had started to drift apart over the exam period and she doesn't well with stress hugely well and I am not too bothered by it, but I let her have her space. All in all her reasoning for breaking up with me was that she wanted to be alone for awhile and figure herself out (something along those lines). I accepted the reason because I am a mature, rational adult. And we parted ways, and we have exchanged brief/passing comments through social media since then. 

 

But now since we are returning to University and we are on the same course but we only share a couple of modules so I won't see her that much. I am not particularly wanting to re-engage a relationship or even begin a casual/[bleep]buddy relationship with said Ex despite being a lovely person (who let me touch her with my naughty bits); had a range of bad habits and is very much one of those girls who drinks way too much (I do not drink at all). With that being said I am interested in engaging in a new relationship but I am about as romantic as a fish and denser than Osmium. The more sensible thing to do would be to avoid dating altogether and focus on my degree as I am entering a very important year for that. 

 

TL;DR

Boris was sad, now not that sad. Is unsure how to feel about the next coming months - but is interested in pursuing a new relationship and not rekindling the old one.

 

Also how does one do online dating - that seems like a more convenient way to speak to females without having to talk to girls. I don't think I would want to try Tinder though :P

 

http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2014/01/07/getting-started-from-scratch-your-first-12-steps-to-get-good-with-women/

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Well time to post my story - I just feel like sharing, I'm not looking for a solution to my non-existent problem.

 

My Ex broke up with me about 3 months ago, we had started to drift apart over the exam period and she doesn't well with stress hugely well and I am not too bothered by it, but I let her have her space. All in all her reasoning for breaking up with me was that she wanted to be alone for awhile and figure herself out (something along those lines). I accepted the reason because I am a mature, rational adult. And we parted ways, and we have exchanged brief/passing comments through social media since then. 

 

But now since we are returning to University and we are on the same course but we only share a couple of modules so I won't see her that much. I am not particularly wanting to re-engage a relationship or even begin a casual/[bleep]buddy relationship with said Ex despite being a lovely person (who let me touch her with my naughty bits); had a range of bad habits and is very much one of those girls who drinks way too much (I do not drink at all). With that being said I am interested in engaging in a new relationship but I am about as romantic as a fish and denser than Osmium. The more sensible thing to do would be to avoid dating altogether and focus on my degree as I am entering a very important year for that. 

 

TL;DR

Boris was sad, now not that sad. Is unsure how to feel about the next coming months - but is interested in pursuing a new relationship and not rekindling the old one.

 

Also how does one do online dating - that seems like a more convenient way to speak to females without having to talk to girls. I don't think I would want to try Tinder though :P

 

http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2014/01/07/getting-started-from-scratch-your-first-12-steps-to-get-good-with-women/

 

Muggi are you the Blackdragon?

 

Also, if that advice only for people who are clueless? I don't take a lot of those sorts of things too seriously, and I still get laid pretty easily. And have standards hah. 

 

I guess what I'm saying it that entire system seems a bit excessive at time. Like send 350 women openers? 

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Well time to post my story - I just feel like sharing, I'm not looking for a solution to my non-existent problem.

 

My Ex broke up with me about 3 months ago, we had started to drift apart over the exam period and she doesn't well with stress hugely well and I am not too bothered by it, but I let her have her space. All in all her reasoning for breaking up with me was that she wanted to be alone for awhile and figure herself out (something along those lines). I accepted the reason because I am a mature, rational adult. And we parted ways, and we have exchanged brief/passing comments through social media since then. 

 

But now since we are returning to University and we are on the same course but we only share a couple of modules so I won't see her that much. I am not particularly wanting to re-engage a relationship or even begin a casual/[bleep]buddy relationship with said Ex despite being a lovely person (who let me touch her with my naughty bits); had a range of bad habits and is very much one of those girls who drinks way too much (I do not drink at all). With that being said I am interested in engaging in a new relationship but I am about as romantic as a fish and denser than Osmium. The more sensible thing to do would be to avoid dating altogether and focus on my degree as I am entering a very important year for that. 

 

TL;DR

Boris was sad, now not that sad. Is unsure how to feel about the next coming months - but is interested in pursuing a new relationship and not rekindling the old one.

 

Also how does one do online dating - that seems like a more convenient way to speak to females without having to talk to girls. I don't think I would want to try Tinder though :P

 

http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2014/01/07/getting-started-from-scratch-your-first-12-steps-to-get-good-with-women/

 

Muggi are you the Blackdragon?

 

Also, if that advice only for people who are clueless? I don't take a lot of those sorts of things too seriously, and I still get laid pretty easily. And have standards hah. 

 

I guess what I'm saying it that entire system seems a bit excessive at time. Like send 350 women openers? 

 

 

It's mostly for people who are clueless, yeah. However the online dating part applies to everyone.

 

I started doing online dating in August 2012 and on the first Sunday evening of every month, I'd copy and paste my opener to every girl on OKC and POF who looked hot. I ended up sending like 200 openers between August and October and only got 1 date out of it. So I had to change my pictures, rewrite my profile, and change how I pitched the date. In December 2012, I scheduled 7 dates in one week... and they all flaked on me because I didn't know how to prevent them from flaking yet, so that was another thing I had to learn.

 

In other words, online dating has kind of a steep learning curve, but once you get it figured out, it's amazing. I can meet hot girls any time I want to without having to stay up late at the noisy bars now because of the time I invested into learning it. Sending out openers doesn't take any time at all either. I used to sit down on Sunday evenings (when there's the most traffic on those sites) and just spend about an hour sending out dozens/hundreds of openers. But these days I just copy and paste my openers via the dating sites' mobile apps on my iphone when I'm pooping or in bed (or BOTH!).

 

If I was still in college living across the street from all the bars and I was more extroverted, though, I would have tried to master bar game or day game instead. Online just suits my personality much better

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Aw yeah. My bar game is pretty flukey to be honest. Before I started travelling I used tinder for three weeks and got with three girls, I got so many matches I didn't bother talking to most of them. In the end I got with one of those girls several times cos she was the best in bed. And the most chilled out. 

 

Oh Tinder also worked in India with an Irish girl hah. Otherwise it's hard when travelling because I usually don't stay in one place very long. 

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You're young though. Since I imagine you're going to ignore my advice, just learn as much as you can about sex, relationships, and women from this girl while you can :P

 

 

Pretty much why you don't see me asking for advice on this thread.

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Squab unleashes Megiddo! Completed all quests and hard diaries. 75+ Skiller. (At one point.) 2000+ total. 99 Magic.
[spoiler=The rest of my sig. You know you wanna see it.]

my difinition of noob is i dont like u, either u are better then me or u are worst them me

Buying spins make you a bad person...don't do it. It's like buying nukes for North Korea.

Well if it bothers you that the game is more fun now, then you can go cry in a corner. :shame:

your article was the equivalent of a circumcized porcupine

The only thing wrong with it is the lack of a percentage for when you need to stroke it.

 


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Poignant Purple to Lokie's Ravishing Red and Alg's Brilliant Blue.

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I suppose we've become a little less diverse in our advice, but thats not necessarily a bad thing

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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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That, and last time I wanted dating advice, I was smart enough to know what the smart advice was (end the relationship with the frigid girl who has trouble making time for me) whilst simultaneously being too dumb and hormone-stricken to follow that advice. (Maybe I'm just illogical because I like tacos?)

 

Cue muggi giving a lecture on oneitis.

Squab unleashes Megiddo! Completed all quests and hard diaries. 75+ Skiller. (At one point.) 2000+ total. 99 Magic.
[spoiler=The rest of my sig. You know you wanna see it.]

my difinition of noob is i dont like u, either u are better then me or u are worst them me

Buying spins make you a bad person...don't do it. It's like buying nukes for North Korea.

Well if it bothers you that the game is more fun now, then you can go cry in a corner. :shame:

your article was the equivalent of a circumcized porcupine

The only thing wrong with it is the lack of a percentage for when you need to stroke it.

 


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squabharpy.png
Poignant Purple to Lokie's Ravishing Red and Alg's Brilliant Blue.

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Much downer, very negativity.

Squab unleashes Megiddo! Completed all quests and hard diaries. 75+ Skiller. (At one point.) 2000+ total. 99 Magic.
[spoiler=The rest of my sig. You know you wanna see it.]

my difinition of noob is i dont like u, either u are better then me or u are worst them me

Buying spins make you a bad person...don't do it. It's like buying nukes for North Korea.

Well if it bothers you that the game is more fun now, then you can go cry in a corner. :shame:

your article was the equivalent of a circumcized porcupine

The only thing wrong with it is the lack of a percentage for when you need to stroke it.

 


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squabharpy.png
Poignant Purple to Lokie's Ravishing Red and Alg's Brilliant Blue.

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Im sure you'd all find it humorously ironic how I know exactly what I should be doing and how often I do the precise opposite in my relationship endeavors. As muggiw put it, I like to turn the stove on and firmly plant my hand on it. Or something like that. Sometimes it helps to hear logic abd reasoning from other people. You could argue you SHOULD be able to intrinsically motivate yourself into following your own advice, but perhaps theres a self respect issue somewhere in there.

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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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Im sure you'd all find it humorously ironic how I know exactly what I should be doing and how often I do the precise opposite in my relationship endeavors. As muggiw put it, I like to turn the stove on and firmly plant my hand on it. Or something like that. Sometimes it helps to hear logic abd reasoning from other people. You could argue you SHOULD be able to intrinsically motivate yourself into following your own advice, but perhaps theres a self respect issue somewhere in there.

 

I would lose respect for myself if I couldn't follow my own advice.

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Three months banishment to 9gag is something i would never wish upon anybody, not even my worst enemy.

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[hide]I love my relationship, most parts.I try my best to keep it together, but I do struggle.

I have been mean, unfair, and sometimes unwilling to move on from some of the problems that reoccur.
Some of the problems are my fault, because I am a sensitive individual, others are my boyfriend's,
but one thing that I have always struggled with is the feeling of being invisible.
Feeling invisible is something that whether it's with my family, friends, boyfriend, people I come into
contact with in general, is something I have always really struggled to cope with.
 
But I have, for the most part accepted it as a part of life, everyone feels like a shadow at one point or another,
but with my boyfriend, it is more apparent than it ever has been. Part of this issue is the frequency at which
he will unexpectedly change plans, to suit what his friends are doing. His friends are lighthearted, not particularly
serious, people who like to chill out and have a good time. These aren't things I'm not, but the way in which
we have a 'good time' just differs. My boyfriend tiptoes around me because he has no confidence that I will take
things the right way, when there are a handful of times that I've taken things wrongly, but I feel like he will
continuously treat me differently to his friends who seem to not see the boundary that is our relationship.
 
Do not get me wrong, everyone needs friends and I have no problem with him hanging around with friends
(these are friends I don't trust at all but respect that they are a part of my boyfriend's life and as such, I
treat them fairly) but at the end of the day, I am a spare part in their group (expected; as I'm not any of their
friends, and more of a 'spare part') which is obviously going to happen as I'm just the girlfriend of somebody
in that group. The problem lies here, in that, I do not bring myself into contact with his friends, the ones
I don't feel fully comfortable around, he willingly brings me into contact with them such as on a handful of occasions,
we have plans to go to town together as a pair, and his friends will say they want to come to town,
it becomes a joint trip when I do not see why it should be. No offence, everyone can go town if they want
but when we say we're going it does not mean we all have to go together. Likewise, we will be sitting together
in each other's company, in a garden square, and his friends will walk by, which I do not have an issue with
him saying hi to, but then they invited him to play pool. Sure, pool with the friends sounds like a great idea,
however, considering he was occupied (with me) I was irritated by the swift acceptance of the offer and not
considering what I was about to do for the next half hour. I was not willing to sit by myself in the garden
square so off I went, to sit and watch pool games. Now, that has dragged me into a situation that I
did not really feel like being in. Every now and then he'd notice me but his main focus was his friends,
and I just don't like the dividing time between us in my presence. I don't care what he gets up to with his friends
but when we have time together, I do not enjoy the ease at which he chucks our time together away.
At first push, his friends don't need to convince him much, they could be just going on a walk, or watching a movie,
if he is with me at the same time, he is considerably more likely to accept their offer and then think about me later
either I join their plans or go and do my own thing. If the situation is reversed and he is out with friends
and I asked to do a b or c, he would be more honest in rejecting me. While I have no problem with saving things
for later, he has shown that he would rather say no to me, than no to his friends. I approached him with this
and he had the tone that I was being unreasonable or strange for being upset when he "just went to say hi to
his friends playing pool" but "hi" is not equal to actively engaging in multiple games of pool whilst I sit
in the background awkwardly. I did actually try to interact but was ignored by some of his friends, although
there is one who always tries talking to me and I like him for that, but they aren't close.They're his only
group of friends, so I understand his attachment and will to be included, but it isn't my fault he did not
try to make new friends; he does not like change and therefore doesn't adapt until forced into a situation
where he has to. In this case, it's his friendship group expanding and including other parties which he now
feels are closer to the core of the group than he was. This is something I thought he would have understood
from getting a girlfriend. He still hangs out with his friends plenty, it's just reduced maybe from 10 hours a day
to 6 hours instead. 
 
Of course there are times where when my friends invite me out in his presence and I'm with him, that I reject 
even if I would really like to go out with them, it's because I'm putting what I most want to do second
because I am doing something already, with someone I'm going out with. I think he jumps at instinct
on what he wants to do, rather than considering us as a pair. When approached, he said he wants to remain
a core of the group as much as he used to be, but that his friends seem to be closer to each other than they
are to him. He fears that his friends do not care about him as much as they "used to" or that the balance is
wrong in that he cares more about them than they do, him. And the reason why he wants to be so involved
is so that his only real group of friends do not grow distant from him, but him trying to be the core of the group 
is leaving me in the sidelines too often which is why I actually get upset.
 
There are other friends in the same friendship group that are in relationships, but their partners are 
more controlling and evidently possessive and I am far from a fan of relationships like that,
but there is a respect and boundary for their relationships that other people notice and know not to cross.
I just want that boundary to be with our relationship too, I want people to feel free talking to him when
I'm there, of course, but I want people to not walk over our time together, just because they know he will agree
to whatever they suggest.
One thing I've tried to do is become less invisible by doing things with the people he lives with, so it feels less
of an intrusion when I'm at their house, I've cleaned the place when they all went out, bought pizzas
for everyone without worrying about being paid back (one gave me some money which was handy) but I have tried
different options but not found a solution and the nicer I am trying so hard to be, the easier I make it
for him to walk on me. I know you can't buy people's approval by buying ice cream and cookies but it was worth a try lol. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm trying to buy the ability to be comfortable and feel accepted to no avail.
I feel like a doormat sometimes, but that is no one elses fault but my own, I have made myself that way and
now I want to reverse what I have done. [/hide]
 
 
Tl;dr: Feeling invisible. Bf ditches me at first opportunity when friends invite him out IN MY PRESENCE without considering me
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Maddy, if you truly consider yourself happy in your situation, keep making that effort. You sound like a pretty cool girlfriend save for the insecurity. I suggest talking to your friends about it and do a role reversal, just once to prove a point. Im not sure he really understands what you're feeling if he's done it so often

Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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Has anyone else been in a relationship that they know they should back out of but couldn't bring themselves to do it because the other person was just so attractive?

Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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