911 calls

[blackrainbow]

BELIEVE it or not ,

 

These are Nashville , TN 's REAL 911 Calls!

 

 

 

 

 

Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

 

Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.

 

Dispatcher: Do you have an address?

 

Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?

 

 

 

 

 

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

 

Caller : Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich .

 

Dispatcher : Excuse me?

 

Caller : I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.

 

Dispatcher : Was anything else taken?

 

Caller : No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!

 

 

 

 

 

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?

 

Caller: I' m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.

 

Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.

 

Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one

 

Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.

 

Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

 

 

 

My Personal Favorite!!!

 

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?

 

Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart

 

Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

 

Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

 

 

 

And the winner is..........

 

 

 

Dispatcher: 9-1-1

 

Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.

 

Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?

 

Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.

 

Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?

 

Caller: N o

 

Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?

 

Caller: Running from the Police.

 

 

:lol:

[Ouchy]

Ha, some of those really are dumb. I am surprised that they ring in about it.

[Nenga]

:lol:

 

 

 

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?

 

Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart

 

Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

 

Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

 

Loved this one.

[Faux]

i love the disclaimer.... oh people actually believe this is real?

[dsavi]

Copypasta that probably isn't true with no discussion value? It isn't exactly a reportable offense.

[Will H]

:lol:

 

 

 

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?

 

Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart

 

Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

 

Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

 

Loved this one.

 

Same here. :lol:

[Randox]

Remind of one from some airline where they relesed some pilot reports with groundcrew responses.

 

 

 

Pilot: Left fromt tire almost needs replacing.

 

Mechanic: Almost replaced left front tire.

 

 

 

Pilot: Inflight movie volume set unbeliveably loud.

 

Mechanic: Volume set to more beliveable level.

 

 

 

Pilot: Engine #3 missing.

 

Mechanic: Number 3 engine found under left wing after breif search.

 

for those who don't know missing means missfireing.

 

 

 

Then there are some ones about flight attendant announcements. One of them them was just after a hard landing the pilot is sheepisdhly waiting for someone to comment on the landing. The last person off the plane is a little old lady who says: "sunny, did we land or were we shot down?".

[The Observer]

Haha! I loved the last one. :lol:

 

 

 

Around here, there was a documentary on 911 calls like that. Basically, this is how one of them went:

 

 

 

Dispatcher: 911, what is your emergency?

 

Woman: What is the area code for 911?

 

 

 

And others showed people asking for directions. #-o

[mrpez]

[Dizzle229]

My dad is a cop in an extremely ghetto area. He once had to respond to a call of some old idiot asking how to cook a turkey.

[ThurinEthir]

Ignoring the copypasta...

 

One time, at the elementary school I went to, some guy dressed up as Santa and walked around. He got arrested.

 

Another time, at a nearby town, some guy called 911 because his pancakes got stolen.

 

-.-

[Lenin64]

Wasn't there a recent thread about someone calling the cops because the sandwich shoppe forgot his sauce? I remember making an A1 joke there.....

 

 

 

Those in the OP might not be true, but to be honest, I really wouldn't put it past people.

[Guest]

I heard some one calling 911 for:

 

 

 

a recipe

 

weather

 

and a wakeup call

[9Fade1]

reminded me of what happened here in Britain where a person phoned 999, asking what the big white circular thing in the sky was (The Moon)

[Orpheus]

Some kid called asking for homework help. I'll try to find the youtube link.

[Roberthree]

Copypasta that probably isn't true with no discussion value? It isn't exactly a reportable offense.

 

 

 

Get a job in retail. You won't believe how stupid some people are. I don't doubt that this happened at all.

[Cyco_Reborn]

Hahahaha, it really is unbelievable how stupid some people are!!!

[warren211]

Wr8y9BVP2e0

 

 

 

I lol'd. :lol:

[reaper88888]

Heheh.. made me laugh a little.. And honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if every single one is real. :wall:

[Kenshinjapan]

Remind of one from some airline where they relesed some pilot reports with groundcrew responses.

 

 

 

Pilot: Left fromt tire almost needs replacing.

 

Mechanic: Almost replaced left front tire.

 

 

 

Pilot: Inflight movie volume set unbeliveably loud.

 

Mechanic: Volume set to more beliveable level.

 

 

 

Pilot: Engine #3 missing.

 

Mechanic: Number 3 engine found under left wing after breif search.

 

for those who don't know missing means missfireing.

 

 

 

Then there are some ones about flight attendant announcements. One of them them was just after a hard landing the pilot is sheepisdhly waiting for someone to comment on the landing. The last person off the plane is a little old lady who says: "sunny, did we land or were we shot down?".

 

 

 

I don't get any of them :|

[wild_goat_14]

This topic makes me ashamed to be a Tennessean.

[Orpheus]

This topic makes me ashamed to be a Tennessean.

 

 

 

You're not the only one.

[mrpez]

the south blows.

 

 

 

there i said it.

[blackrainbow]

Remind of one from some airline where they relesed some pilot reports with groundcrew responses.

 

 

 

Pilot: Left fromt tire almost needs replacing.

 

Mechanic: Almost replaced left front tire.

 

 

 

Pilot: Inflight movie volume set unbeliveably loud.

 

Mechanic: Volume set to more beliveable level.

 

 

 

Pilot: Engine #3 missing.

 

Mechanic: Number 3 engine found under left wing after breif search.

 

for those who don't know missing means missfireing.

 

 

 

Then there are some ones about flight attendant announcements. One of them them was just after a hard landing the pilot is sheepisdhly waiting for someone to comment on the landing. The last person off the plane is a little old lady who says: "sunny, did we land or were we shot down?".

 

 

 

Glad you reminded me. Absolute quality whether the're true or not. :lol:

 

 

 

After every flight Qantas pilots fill out a form, which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form and then pilots review them before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers:

 

 

 

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

 

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

 

P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit.

 

P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order.

 

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

 

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed.

 

P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level.

 

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're for.

 

P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right.

 

P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

 

P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

 

P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

 

P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed.

 

P. Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget.

[oegly41]

I cannot say that there is no funny content in this topic, but the anarchist in me really feels bad about laughing at people for their lack of peace with the establishment. :oops: