They win, but only because they murder everyone in the other team. Then they all get sentenced to death.

 

I wish I had a magical bottle of never ending coke.

 

 

Ninja'd

l

V

Granted, you die of a heart attack.

 

I wish I couldn't suffer.

Granted, but you hate it.

 

I wish I'm God

Granted, but you are powerless god, who is looked down upon, while the other higher gods punish you for your wrong acts.

 

I wish I had a force shield.

Granted, but you air can't pass through your force shield and you suffocate.

 

I wish ice cream grew on trees.

Granted, nothing interesting happens.

 

I wish I could wish for another wish.

Granted, however you cannot wish for anything non-substansial with that one.

 

I wish for school to end.

Granted, but it never begins again and your education stops where it is.

 

I wish I would get a raise.

Granted, you get fired immediately after.

 

I wish for invisibility

Granted, but everyone can feel your presence.

 

I wish I had faster-than-the-speed-of-light internet

Granted, but your internet tears a hole in the space time continuum and the universe is destroyed.

 

I wish for snakes.

Granted. It's in your pants, on an airplane.

 

I wish for telekinesis.

Granted. But it's so hard to control you end up killing people with it. And eventually, the cops kill you.

 

I wish I knew how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Granted. Nothing changes.

 

I wish I could win the game

Granted, you win by dying.

 

I wish for ants.

Granted, they come from inside all of your body holes. Yes, every one of them.

 

 

I wish for my next wish to be corrupted.

Granted.

 

I wish people would listen to my ideas more.

Granted, they listen, but they never do anything about your ideas.

 

I wish I had a new winter coat.

Granted, but its so big and heavy iit crushes you.

 

I wish I got payed for just being who I am.

Granted, you get payed with the information that a woodchock wouldn't chuck wood, but Chuck Norris would chuck a woodchock with his wood according to cleverbot.

 

I wish I'd be lucky.

Granted, you'll be lucky for 4 minutes tonight while you're asleep.

 

I wish I had a dispenser here.

Granted, but it's in the same place where a teleporter is going up.

 

I wish I could remove all negative feelings of my life and enhance the possitive ones.

Granted, you get euphoric and sent to a mental hospital.

 

I wish I could never fail.

Granted, you win at everything, including failing.

 

 

I wish I could melt into a puddle and go under doors, and turn lights on and off by zapping them from across the room with my finger.

Granted. you turn into an amoeba man.

 

I wish that I could be a flying kitty.