Granted, you get the ability to be super lame, and your car gets the ability to turn into a motorcycle, unfortunately you don't have a liscense to drive one.

 

I wish that I could lose 10 pounds, and be able to run a 20 minute 5k.

Granted, now running is all you ever do.

 

I wish the Dinka Inkas would get me.

Granted, sadly they cannot be found.

 

I wish for the ability to memorize anything on first try.

Granted, but when you find an awful memory you go insane.

 

I wish for the inability to lie.

Granted, but you end up going completely nuts like Jim Carrey in the "Liar Liar" (1997) movie, because you find that only simple straight answers will come out of your mouth when you start to talk to other people... Unluckily, you also get jumped by a woman other than your girlfriend... Then when your girlfriend asks a rather unexpected question, you end up getting kicked in the midsection rather hard because the first thing that comes out of your mouth is a straight answer without enough of an explanation to get your girlfriend to realize you're not at fault due to the other woman being extremely controlling... Worse, your girlfriend won't listen when you try to add the explanation on, because it didn't reach her ears in a manner that she would accept, resulting in you getting badly dumped... Ouch! :(

 

 

 

I wish that wish granting had not been left up to me, because that was massively sadistic, even for me! -.-

 

 

 

~D. V. "Augh! Why him? Why me?" Devnull

 

 

 

 

(p.s.: BlazeTMF, my apologies to you. This post is only a joke for this thread. I would honestly NEVER wish this upon you IRL!)

Granted, you have travelled back in time to the moment before you wrote the reply. However, in an inspiring act of nobility, you decided to suffer writing it a second time to save another innocent poster from enduring the pain and anguish that you have already experienced.

 

I wish Die Hard 5 would be released faster.

Granted, it's rushed and as a result it gets a lot of razzies and is lower than 4 on IMDB.

 

I wish for a new movie starring:

 

Superman as Jesus Christ.

Iron Man as Santa Claus.

Batman as Easter Bunny.

Wolverine as Tooth Fairy.

 

Then I'd watch it and review it on YouTube like I always do.

Granted. It is widely considered the greatest movie of all time, winning every academy award for the next two years. You review it on Youtube, but your review is ignored because literally everybody else on the planet has posted a video about how life-changing it was.

 

I wish the CD key on my brother's Age of Mythology game wasn't scratched off.

Granted, somebody on the internet stole it so it still doesn't work.

 

I wish that I could have a better looking body.

Granted, men and women (yes, including homosexuals) now want you and they never leave you alone.

 

I wish I would stop being so addicted to guns. I love guns, but know I shouldn't.

Granted, you are now not addicted to guns, but only those displayed in the picture below.

 

[spoiler=Above mentioned picture]

 

 

I wish that people didn't leave such things so open.

Granted, they never leave anything at all so open and never share anything online.

 

I wish for the same abilities the Hulk has.

Granted, you to start off with the immposibility of controlling these abilities.

 

I wish that I could run 2k.

Granted, you run two thousand feet per hour.

 

I wish something incredible would happen to me right now.

Granted, somebody on youtube offers you a partnership.

 

I wish that I could have that thing, you know the one that I need.

Granted, you get that thing that you need, but you don't want, at all. And it always magically goes back to you.

 

I wish that the emperor of Japan would go to an airport, buy tickets to Iceland, go to the plane, and visit my place.

Granted, he brings a really cool samurai sword to show you. As he lets you take it out of the scabbard you pull it wrong, cutting his jugular.

 

I wish that I could have the one thing I both really need, and really want.

Granted. You can have the thing you really need and want. That thing is cancer.

 

I wish i was Harry Potter.

Granted, except that you aren't really him, you're just in his body, and you get killed by Voldemort as you don't know how to defend yourself against him.

 

I wish I'd find a drug factory, then I'd go in and shoot everyone inside.

Granted. You start a water gun fight inside the building. Everyone loves it and generally has a good time. The drug empire's leaders hire you on to boost morale.

 

I wish I was even more of a morning person.

Granted, you're only awake during morning and sleep for the rest of the day.

 

I wish I'd find a drug factory, then I'd go in and shoot everyone inside. By the way I'd use MY gun, not someone else's. And my gun is a pistol which shoots bullets nothing else.

Granted. Unfortunately, you forgot the number one rule of action movies: Every drug cartel member has an AK-47. You participate in an awesome gunfight that would make Rambo feel inferior throughout their factory, ending with you shooting the head of the drug cartel in the head and finally passing out from the many injuries that you've no doubt taken. The event ends up being made into an action movie, starring Jason Statham as you, though you may or may not be alive to see and review it.

 

I wish public transit was more efficient in my home county.

Granted, it is now so efficient that you end up late to your transit stop as they move everything ahead 5 minutes and make things run on the dot because they find it will save then hundreds of dollars.

 

I wish that I could have a good friend, one that I know I can trust.

Granted, he's very annoying.

 

I wish I'd know how death feels like. Sadly, I'll never know that as I'll never die. I'm immoral.

Granted, you get within mm of death, and you know what happens next? You die and come back to life after an amazing life saving surgery.

 

I wish that I could have the best gaming laptop in the world.