Bullied into suicide

[Azurefirem]

I'm on Lenticular's side. You really shouldn't commit suicide over bullying. This is just like those RS cyber-bullies.

 

Either you deal with it, or get everyone to go against those bullies. And also get help from teachers, parents, and even 911 if it was really serious.

 

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. (Ok, maybe not...)

[spoiler=clicky clicky to expandy]I don't know how to really say this. But I'm probably best able to say it cause I've been through similar situations. Not quite to the level of meanness present in this case but more ostracization than anything.

The thing is, when people bully you, you don't want to tell anyone. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. And they're just words, and you keep telling yourself that, but the truth is they hurt and you keep it in and it builds up and builds up and builds up until you just can't take it anymore. And you don't tell anyone because you don't trust them enough to lay out these deep and dark feelings. You're a girl, you can't have these 'bad' feelings. There's a lot of darkness in the life of a girl nowadays, a lot of the body image stuff from the celebrities and then a lot of societal expectations. As a girl I've seen a lot of people generally expect someone who's cheery, someone who laughs often, someone not particularly morose or 'down'. It's hard to keep up a cheery face. (I would know, I've been doing it for years.) I've dealt with things for years without telling anyone, mainly because I don't trust them enough to open up about things that truly hurt me. If something hurts me I'm more likely to shove it down inside and not tell anyone, if something bothers me I won't tell anyone either. I put up and shut up, complaining has rarely if ever been an option, or at least one that has had any effect. You learn pretty fast that complaining gets you nowhere, so you stop talking about things. Nobody knows what you're going through and then once you're even deeper into this, nobody can understand what you're going through. You keep telling yourself this, and you believe it's true. You start feeling totally alone in this world, even though you may be surrounded by people who love you.

Bullying has the effect of depressing someone. It makes you feel worthless, and after enough of it you start to feel like what they say is true. You can start feeling totally worthless, feeling like nothing matters and that you're the absolute worst person in the world. The mind is a powerful thing, and it can delude you into thinking that you're better off dead and that you're completely worthless to everyone, nobody will miss you once you've offed yourself.

 

 

Seriously it's a hell of a lot harder to go to someone than you think.

That's why you have to be the one to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, go out there, and show them just how much [wagon] you kick.

It's nearly impossible to do it on your own, and it takes a lot longer than you probably think. It's a lot easier said than done.

[obfuscator]

Imo the kid who would hang themselves because they got bullied has just as many problems as the kids who would bully in the first place. Parent's don't give a [bleep] about what there kids get up to anymore, thats the sad part.

[NotoriousPSC]

Imo the kid who would hang themselves because they got bullied has just as many problems as the kids who would bully in the first place. Parent's don't give a [bleep] about what there kids get up to anymore, thats the sad part.

 

 

Kids these days don't get their [wagon] kicked like they should. I'm sick of all the self centered me first kids I see.

[Youmu]

It's just thankful that schools now care a lot more about bullying than before.

 

I remember a few years ago at my old school, a lot of the big kids like to bully little kids, and rarely do they actually get caught.

 

In the school I'm currently at though, I already know some people that are very likely to be bullied, but nobody is actually doing that to them. What we did do, however, is just avoid noticing/talking to them (or any other form of communication). That actually works well, and we never got into trouble for that (mainly because you're allowed to dislike people).

 

That's pretty much how popular/unpopular divisions indirectly form at our school. Though, personality plays a much bigger role for that.

 

Ok, I'm getting a bit off-topic so I'll just stop right there.

[Madmanpur3]

I have many very close friends/relatives who've contemplated suicide at least once, some have halfway attempted it, and I used to be adamantly against suicide for reasons others have already mentioned - with a little time, initiative, and effort people are capable of making their own lives a hell of a lot better. But the more I thought about it, the more (can't think of a better word) accepting of it I became. Sad to say it but for some people suicide is perfectly understandable and I can't say I blame them. For this particular case probably not, but if you just look at it from her perspective she probably came to America with it being the whole "land of opportunity" in mind and discovered that her opportunity here was to get bashed day in and day out for no reason whatsoever and decided to take her chances with death (some people commit suicide because they believe in a life after death and curiosity gets the better of them while they're going through a rough patch). Who knows.

 

So yes, it sucks. No, this didn't really bring out any emotions in me because (as already pointed out) this sort of [cabbage] happens globally and daily. And hey, I'm happy for that girl in the sense that she doesn't have to put up with it anymore and is at more peace than most of us.

[Giordano]

It's just thankful that schools now care a lot more about bullying than before.

Lul wut?

 

 

 

As I said in another thread, some personal responsibility must be given to Pheobe, but still, it's a horrible thing that happened and may she rest in piece.

 

The "mean girls" however, should be executed for their disrespect. I've never read anything like it.

[RexMilotic]

Honestly, this is just pitiful. And even worst of all, this kind of thing only happens in America(for the most part). It makes me disappointed and for some reason ashamed of myself. The fact that Americans can even say the phrase "things like this happen all the time" is awful.

 

Are you insane? This happens all around the world. It's common knowledge that things like this happen all the time in the world, and the fact that you can say that means you understand this world is not a happy go lucky world. It doesn't matter what country you're from, because if you're unable to come to terms that something like this happens all the time, then you would be considered ignorant.

 

I personally don't feel much about it, I was somewhat bullied in elementary school (verbally), but the second I switched schools I become friends with most people. I never considered suicide, because I know this world isn't one that's going to be nice about everything. All your problems won't go away, so you need to find a way to deal with them. Personally I don't think a bully could get to me now, because I simply won't tolerate the bs. I actually haven't dealt with anything at all from 7th grade and on, and the people who'd be considered bullies in my school don't mess with me.

[Zierro]

What a waste of distress. She should have punched one of them in the nose. Much more constructive than killing yourself.

 

I don't know how to really say this. But I'm probably best able to say it cause I've been through similar situations. Not quite to the level of meanness present in this case but more ostracization than anything.

The thing is, when people bully you, you don't want to tell anyone. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. And they're just words, and you keep telling yourself that, but the truth is they hurt and you keep it in and it builds up and builds up and builds up until you just can't take it anymore. And you don't tell anyone because you don't trust them enough to lay out these deep and dark feelings. You're a girl, you can't have these 'bad' feelings. There's a lot of darkness in the life of a girl nowadays, a lot of the body image stuff from the celebrities and then a lot of societal expectations. As a girl I've seen a lot of people generally expect someone who's cheery, someone who laughs often, someone not particularly morose or 'down'. It's hard to keep up a cheery face. (I would know, I've been doing it for years.) I've dealt with things for years without telling anyone, mainly because I don't trust them enough to open up about things that truly hurt me. If something hurts me I'm more likely to shove it down inside and not tell anyone, if something bothers me I won't tell anyone either. I put up and shut up, complaining has rarely if ever been an option, or at least one that has had any effect. You learn pretty fast that complaining gets you nowhere, so you stop talking about things. Nobody knows what you're going through and then once you're even deeper into this, nobody can understand what you're going through. You keep telling yourself this, and you believe it's true. You start feeling totally alone in this world, even though you may be surrounded by people who love you.

Bullying has the effect of depressing someone. It makes you feel worthless, and after enough of it you start to feel like what they say is true. You can start feeling totally worthless, feeling like nothing matters and that you're the absolute worst person in the world. The mind is a powerful thing, and it can delude you into thinking that you're better off dead and that you're completely worthless to everyone, nobody will miss you once you've offed yourself.

 

Seriously it's a hell of a lot harder to go to someone than you think.

 

This is a RS fansite. Don't you think we've all been bullied before?

[i_love_burritos]

What all you say is fine ... but continuing to antagonize her after her death is just pathetic.

 

I hope Hell exists, and if it does I hope a Ironically Cruel and Unusal Punishment department exists within it.

 

And Lenticular_J, I even think that does happen more in America, I dont know why though.

[Lenticular_J]

It's nearly impossible to do it on your own, and it takes a lot longer than you probably think. It's a lot easier said than done.

I actually did it. Before last summer, I was a complete nerdy kid whose entire life revolved around my videogames and being sad that the world wouldn't accept me for who I am.

 

I decided, [bleep] that noise, and decided to shape up my [cabbage]. And I did. Never had anybody to talk to, never had any real inspiration excluding hot girls. But I still did it.

 

And Adrenal, it probably happens more in America (this exact situation) because it's a huge country. If it were percentages or something, I'm sure it would be about even in the West.

[K4ylan]

Honestly, this is just pitiful. And even worst of all, this kind of thing only happens in America(for the most part). It makes me disappointed and for some reason ashamed of myself. The fact that Americans can even say the phrase "things like this happen all the time" is awful.

 

Are you insane? This happens all around the world. It's common knowledge that things like this happen all the time in the world, and the fact that you can say that means you understand this world is not a happy go lucky world. It doesn't matter what country you're from, because if you're unable to come to terms that something like this happens all the time, then you would be considered ignorant.

 

I personally don't feel much about it, I was somewhat bullied in high school (verbally), but the second I switched schools I become friends with most people. I never considered suicide, because I know this world isn't one that's going to be nice about everything. All your problems won't go away, so you need to find a way to deal with them. Personally I don't think a bully could get to me now, because I simply won't tolerate the bs.

 

Well, yea, I said for the most part. I know it happens everywhere, but in America, people rarely care unless there's a "special" case(she was foreign). It happens constantly and all time. Even someone you know could be contemplating suicide (I have, but it was for something completely trivial and stupid; talked myself out in 3 seconds). And even though it happens all the time, it is just as tragic each time. Honestly, it is almost as bad for the friends of the victims dealing with the sadness than the victim who couldn't talk to a counselor or something.

 

I think that the fact that she was hoping America would be all bunnies and sunshine might have made it easier for her decision. Although in my school, anybody who picks on the new kid is usually shunned automatically. The new kids are always cool.

[i_love_burritos]

And Adrenal, it probably happens more in America (this exact situation) because it's a huge country. If it were percentages or something, I'm sure it would be about even in the West.

 

I considered that possiblity, and I didn't think it was valid. For whatever reasons, I do not know [maybe it's the culture, the schooling system itself, or something else entirely].

 

Standardised, the US had higher suicide rates than both the UK and Australia, between ages 15 - 24 and 15 - 19 [possibly all other ages aswell, however I didn't check]. And this is all current, the supplied figures are 2003, 2006, 2008. In the US it's 8.2 deaths [ages 15 -19] per 100,000.

 

 

UK 2008 Overview

UK 2008

US 2006

US Age Breakdown 2006

Australia 2006 Overview

 

And a World Comparison using 1998 - 2000 figures, ages 15 - 24 male and female.

 

It's generally higher than most English speaking western countries and most of Europe and Asia, but lower than some Scandinavian and Central European countries ...

 

I dont know, something is different.

[Th3_Crusader]

Death penalty

[Orpheus]

It's just thankful that schools now care a lot more about bullying than before.

Lul wut?

 

 

 

As I said in another thread, some personal responsibility must be given to Pheobe, but still, it's a horrible thing that happened and may she rest in piece.

 

The "mean girls" however, should be executed for their disrespect. I've never read anything like it.

 

Yeah, generally, I'm pretty pacifist, but to be frank, being executed isn't enough in this case. Either way, she probably had a few issues of her own to deal with, and they just pushed her over the edge.

[EdgedThesis]

Death penalty

 

[bleep] that.

Free speech.

 

If people don't like what you say, fine, they can start talking back.

Eventually you'll be shunned, if what you say is such poison. There will be social repercussions.

 

But being executed for speech is [developmentally delayed]ed.

If someone says something hurtful, talk to them about it and explain why it's wrong. But if you want to kill them for it, maybe go [bleep] yourself.

[Orpheus]

Death penalty

 

[bleep] that.

Free speech.

 

If people don't like what you say, fine, they can start talking back.

Eventually you'll be shunned, if what you say is such poison. There will be social repercussions.

 

But being executed for speech is [developmentally delayed]ed.

If someone says something hurtful, talk to them about it and explain why it's wrong. But if you want to kill them for it, maybe go [bleep] yourself.

 

Free speech has absolutely nothing to do with this. You're missing the point entirely.

 

Let's take a look at what this article has told us of these "Mean Girls":

 

- Stalking, intimidation, and whatnot. Sure, these happen all the time, and it's common in high school, so I'll mostly disregard this point.

- Abuse, insults, violence. The fact this continues outside of school adds insult to injury.

- Badmouthing someone after death. This is a touchy enough subject in and of itself.

- Supposedly lying to authority. I shouldn't even need to say something about this isn't right.

- Basically assaulting anyone that seems to damage their "perfect" view.

- Catalyzing someone into suicide.

 

From what you said, I'd be safe to assume by your logic that they should go completely scot-free for the [cabbage] they've done? That they should be able to avoid any consequences?

[Dizzle229]

I love how everyone thinks that the people that do things like this will eventually be shunned. I don't know what the rest of the country is like, but that sure isn't the case here.

 

Anyway, maybe not execution, but certainly have some form of harsh non physical punishment.

[Returned3]

I must say that I am really thankful for not having been bullied up to that extent. I did used to get bullied by 2 guys in class but it was to a much smaller extent and I think my ego pretty much saved me. Whatever insults/paper balls that were hurled towards me were quickly brushed aside as all I was thinking in my mind was that if they ever physically bullied me, I'd be able to easily hurt them back many times more. So I ignored them and soon enough they stopped, we're actually friends now.

 

I admit, I complain a hell lot. I'm not really a fan of bottling up emotions in me, whatever that happened in school/work that made me unhappy I would usually complain to a friend or family member and I would always think the same thing as mentioned above. I may be a real egomaniac and this might lead to a serious problem down the road, but it's been working for me so far and I'm very happy with life right now.

[Lenticular_J]

I love how everyone thinks that the people that do things like this will eventually be shunned. I don't know what the rest of the country is like, but that sure isn't the case here.

 

Anyway, maybe not execution, but certainly have some form of harsh non physical punishment.

Some kid pushed my friend off of a stage back in middle school and broke his arm. That was like four years ago. Nobody will talk to him any more except the creepy kids.

 

Of course, he's pretty creepy too, so I guess that worked out well?

[SeanyTheSailor]

I love how everyone thinks that the people that do things like this will eventually be shunned. I don't know what the rest of the country is like, but that sure isn't the case here.

 

Anyway, maybe not execution, but certainly have some form of harsh non physical punishment.

 

HARSH non physical punishment? Like this?

 

You are such a terrible person! You should feel so bad about yourself! Why would you do something like that! You are such a meany!

 

....

 

Or you could beat them until they are wallowing in their tears and feces(though that is kinda extreme) and they would acctually regret it.

[Dizzle229]

I love how everyone thinks that the people that do things like this will eventually be shunned. I don't know what the rest of the country is like, but that sure isn't the case here.

 

Anyway, maybe not execution, but certainly have some form of harsh non physical punishment.

 

HARSH non physical punishment? Like this?

 

You are such a terrible person! You should feel so bad about yourself! Why would you do something like that! You are such a meany!

 

....

 

Or you could beat them until they are wallowing in their tears and feces(though that is kinda extreme) and they would acctually regret it.

 

There are other types on non physical punishment than verbal abuse. You don't have to kick someone's face in to ruin their life.

[Skull]

Aye, it's called jail.

[K4ylan]

It's a damn shame but kids will be kids and at the end of the day there's nothing you can do.

 

Bur there is something you can do! Maybe not you or me or us personally, but this is what teachers, counselors, principles, and parents are for.

[Giordano]

It's a damn shame but kids will be kids and at the end of the day there's nothing you can do.

 

Bur there is something you can do! Maybe not you or me or us personally, but this is what teachers, counselors, principles, and parents are for.

Bring back fear into authority.

[Zilla]

I do believe what those girls did was wrong; but I do not feel sorry for the girl who committed suicide. I believe one who ends they're own life, especially for such a trivial matter such as bullying - they do not deserve to have any compassion. She could have spoken to an adult about the matter. Sadly she attempted to deal with it on her own, and decided death was the best answer.

 

After saying that, I cannot come to the conclusion of that: Either that I am heartless, or correct. Perhaps both.