You just mind your own business walking in the nature.

 

Until you step on a trap and fall down at the bottom that's full of spikes.

 

Unfortunately for you, you didn't survive.

You try to preform complex gymnastics, but have an unfortunate meeting with the horse while bound by jump ropes from 30 feet.

You eat your own brain.

 

Um, yeah, I don't need to go into deeper details because that explains itself.

You attempt to find the answer to the question of how a man can eat his own brain, and accidentally stumble across a discount copy of The Necronomicon. Hilarity ensues.

Who cares how it's possible? The deaths in this thread aren't supposed to make sense anyway.

 

Anyway John F. Kennedy shoots you.

My cat seduces you into the pits of hell.

Your cat seduces you to the void. The furball does not discriminate by gender.

You are eaten by a grue, which is eaten by a dinosaur, which is eaten by a tiger, which is eaten by a chicken, which is eaten by you.

 

Nonsense, yay!

You are erased from all of existence by a non-sequitur due to a "Divide By Zero" like event.

You go to a mobile toilet. And just when you are doing your business someone drives his truck over it and you fall in a hole. And then the hole is filled with sand.

 

You know, a lot like that worker died by the end of the mission Deconstruction in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

You angered the flamboyant mob boss and he sends in a creepy hitman who wears fishnet stockings to hunt you down. All while spouting innuendo and eerie words left and right with a bullet in between.

The king of England is offended so he sends his knights against you.

 

Wow, I really like using the line "you offended the king of England", I should be using it in all forum games from now on.

Cherry manages to bribe the knights to leave him alone, then hires a squad of ninja to take you down.

 

To make it so that he doesn't get off so easy, he falls into an open sewer and dies moments later.

The king of England is very offended by the fact that you think he dies by going to sewers so he hires a hitman to kill you.

You are kidnapped by a squadron of military squirrels, who take you to their secret underground base and work you to death in their acorn mines.

Your mind has a meltdown trying to understand what kind of person would give an in-depth discussion of brilliant literary classics but stop midway to note how sweet as hell the newest rap song is.

You feel the sudden urge to build a time machine. A typo in the programming causes you to go to the exact time you were born, and your matter is sucked to your time machine's location. You are never born and are forever trapped in a deathly time paradox.

I commit suicide.

The suicide attempt fails in a painful way and a passing vigilante mercy kills you.

A new very stupid neighbor moves next door and wants to be your friend. Whether you agree with becoming his friend or not, he hangs around with you regardless. And his stupidity eventually kills you.

You slip on a banana and fall. Ha. Ha.

You call me unoriginal, yet you make me die in the most unoriginal way possible? Your hypocrisy kills you.

I simply chose to give a fitting death for you: a blunt, unceremonious demise that is as honest as it is swift. Consider it being kind due to how merciful it was.

 

So I will go with the original death I had in mind: You slip and drown in a large cesspool. Miss that banana? There's five of them in that pool.

As you watch BlazeTheMovieFan fall in the cesspool, I show up and try to push you in. My attempt fails, but a ninja swoops in and kicks you in the head. You get a horrible concussion, begin having hallucinations, and try to run away from what appears to be an army of invincible demon cats and jump in the cesspool which appears to be a large sponge cake.

I shoot you.

 

Now I'm gonna make killing me more diffucult.

 

*I hide in a house where I never age, never get deceases or anything like that. And it's 100% impossible to get inside or get outside that house. So now you can't kill me.*