Thnx to the headbutt in my stomach I puke.

U slip over my vomit and The cheese falls right into my arms.

 

I hide it under my tshirt

I quickly chuck you into a lava pool and grab the cheese when it floats up to the surface of the lava.

 

I stick it on my horn, and run off to an evil tree.

I take a huge stick and hang a carrot on it.

The unicorn (I assume that's you?) stops running and friendly trade the cheese for the carrot.

Thankfully, that was some other cheese I carry just for these kinds of situations, munching on my newly aquired carrot, I teleport to the draynor cabbage patch, where I hide behind a cabbage.

I go picking cabbages as I do all the time. Because they're so delicious. I unearth the cabbage Dancingman is hiding behind, so out of surprise I beat him to death with the cabbage. I steal the cheese from his corpse and bury it in cabbages to cover my tracks.

A cabbage trips Psycho up and in his attempt to prevent himself from squashing the innocent cabbages with his body he releases the cheese. It lands conveniently in my hands.

I shoot you in the hand, get the cheese, and then sells it to a gang leader. And he hides it on a place that only members of the gang can access, and it's protected by 15 gangsters.

I go about the long process of joining the gang, and after years of trust building and working my way up the ranks I propose that the gang uses it's resources on something more productive than guarding a piece of cheese. They agree and leave their post. The cheese is mine.

Come on, do something about this cheese, it's boring to just take it off you. <_<

 

I sell the cheese to Amazon.com, and it's then bought by a Japanese dude, and he is going to eat it on February 21st, 2009, you have two days to get the cheese. :twisted:

 

And if you try to steal it from the guy, and he sees you, he WILL call the police.

I explain to the guy that the cheese he bought has been through more hell than Charles Manson. So he trades me the cheese for a brand new slice of cheese. I have the cheese!

Come on, do something about this cheese, it's boring to just take it off you. <_<

 

I sell the cheese to Amazon.com, and it's then bought by a Japanese dude, and he is going to eat it on February 21st, 2009, you have two days to get the cheese. :twisted:

 

And if you try to steal it from the guy, and he sees you, he WILL call the police.

 

As the cheese was eaten over a year ago, Psycho never really traded the cheese.

I teleport myself back in time. And I trade a brand new slice of cheese for the original cheese.

 

After that I teleport even more back in time and Hide the cheese into a cave protected by 10 dinosaurs.

I pray to FSM to get the cheese for me. And he does it. I hop on his back and fly away.

As someone that pirates stuff, FSM loves me more than robot. He gives me the cheese when I ask for it. FSM loves me the most.

I use take the cheese and use it on my pizza. I know the rules say don't eat the cheese, who said anything about eating? I am going to send the pizza to a pizzeria. :twisted:

I instantly recognise the cheese based on the greenish tinge the pizza has that the rest do not.

You give me a keg at our park, and you drink one before I drink mine. While your drunk I steal the cheese from you.

Silver spits out her beer in shock at the mention of the park. You get soaked in beer and you slip and fall. The cheese tumbles out of your hands. I pick it up and run, giggling insanely.

*glomps psycho* while he's being glomped, I pickpocket the cheese. Then I run away.

(Before you begin reading, talk to your doctor and make sure you are healthy enough for sexual acti- err, reading intense stories. Side effects may include hyperventilation, increased perspiration, nausea, and heart failure. Do not take with other medications.)

 

Readers beware, you are about to enter the mind of an insane persona, so please make sure all safety precautions are taken. If you are pregnant or have an ongoing heart conditon, please enter with caution. For all who continue to read this, cross your legs, take a deep breath, and close your eyes. Now open them so you can read :)

 

(If you really don't have the time to read this, just look at the bottom. But mist likely if you're wasting time in forum games you might as well read a post with a slight amount of thought in it.)

 

 

As silver_wits runs, a common fellow named Henry approaches her. With no particularly defining features and an average temperament, Henry seems to be as far from a threat as a small rabbit to wittyface. Henry speaks.

 

"Sorry to bother you ma'am, but I am wondering if you have heard of a land nearby called Untopia? I tried too ask several fellows at the park, but they were severely intoxicated and offered me no assistance whatsoever. Would you kindly guide me to this mysterious land?"

 

Puzzled, wits ponders what the man has just asked her. Untopia? Wits has heard of Utopia, the perfect society, and Dystopia, its polar opposite, but never Untopia. Wits takes out her trusty map out of her backpack (which has been handed to her by her trusty monkey companion, who is wearing a pair of ridiculous rubber boots, perhaps galoshes) and finds that Untopia lies directly east of where she is standing. Wits decides she apparently does not know the world around her very well and kindly offers Henry to take him to the land of Untopia. The two set off east, into a dark forest.

 

Henry and wits talk during their walk about what interesting things they have discovered during their world travels. Wits tells Henry about how her twin siblings have super powers and her parents don't care that she travels all over by herself, and Henry is especially intrigued when wits tells him about her nemesis, a sly fox who always tries to steal her treasured cheese.

 

"Wits, tell me more about this man!" Henry shouts with fascination. Wits replies by saying, "well, he's red, and furry, and constantly tries swiping my cheese." Henry gives her a blank gaze because she has just described to him, literally, a sly fox. Wits then goes on to further explain:

 

"He doesn't always assume the form of a fox. Often, he actually morphs into the form of my friends and fellow travellers. By seeming like he is a mate of mine, he typically gains enough of my trust to come within a reasonable distance of me to be capable of stealing my cheese."

 

Henry listens attentively, but then asks wits why this piece of cheese is so important to her.

 

"The cheese is the answer to life," wits replies. "Whoever possesses the cheese is set to successfully make it through this world and overcome all challenges without faltering. It doesn't cause immortality, or give any super-human powers, but instead gives the beholder the ultimate advantage at living as a mortal. Without the cheese, I am as ordinary and helpless as you. But, since I now have the cheese in my possession, I am fit to cope with reality."

 

Henry continues listening, but he notices out of the corner of his eye an animal moving in the darkness. Alarmed, he tells wits that he fears the fox is stalking them. Wits assures him that she has finally found a way to combat the creature: by keeping the cheese where she can see it at all times.

 

"Are you saying," Henry questions,"that when you have previously lost the cheese, that it was because you didn't pay enough attention? That seems pretty stupid of you, consideringthat you have just described to me that the cheese contains the secret to prosperity in this world."

 

Wits snaps back, saying "Well of course it's not that simple! The cheese shines in the sunlight, similar to ridiculously sparkly blood-sucking romantics, and it is simply too difficult to look at the cheese all the time! This is why we're in a dark forest now, way to be observant."

 

After this, Henry no longer questions wits, fearing that she will snap again and viciously attack him. The mismatched pair and the monkey wearing galoshes continue onward until they reach a fork in the road where light shines through the treetops. Wits promptly consults the map, checks where they are, and lets out a laugh. Henry asks what is so funny, but wits continues giggling to herself and goes left. Henry, thinking she is insane, continues following her.

 

Wits' laughter was not meaningless, though. Wits found on the map that Untopia lies in a place on the planet which receives little to no sunlight dilurig the course of a day. Delighted with this discovery, wits begins to whistle and continues leading her innocent explorer pal to the gates of Untopia.

 

"Here we are," she states. Taking a few steps forward, wits realizes Henry is no longer following her as closely as previously. He is staring at the gate with a confused look on his face.

 

"Something, something about this place seems all too familiar," Henry says. Despite his odd sensation, Henry ventures onward, and is soon astonished by the scenery of his surroundings. Trees in full bloom while there is snow on the ground. Fireflies swarming about a hive stationed on a rock. The scene is harmonious, but everythig seems a little off. Confused, Henry looks to wits, whose attention is stationed on a family of rabbits, where the smallest rabbit is bringing food to the larger ones.

 

"It's so weird, this land," wits simply states. She continues to evaluate her surroundings, admiring every aspect of this intriguing environment. Henry, on the other hand, runs forward on the path towards a village. Wits notices and quickly catches up to him. Henry barely notices because he has just figured out whythis place seems so familiar.

 

"My homeland! I was born here! I remember, the spring snow showers, watching the rabbits grow smaller as the year progressed, everything! But why did my parents forbid me from coming to this place?"

 

"You're not supposed to be here?! I brought you here, what if your parents find out? It will be ME getting in all the trouble!"

 

"Hush, you're disturbing the peace," a strange man calmly says. He then proceeds to load his rifl and shoot the smallest rabbit.

 

"Me disturbing the peace?! YOU JUST SHOT THE MOTHER RABBIT!" Wits yells out, with mixed emotions. What was this man's idea of peace? What is going on in this bizarre society? Where should wits run to in order to hide with the cheese?

 

Henry, on the other hand, is thrilled to see the rabbit dead. Old rabbits make the best sandwiches. Henry is grateful towards wits for helping him return to his homeland. While wits stands listening to the voices in her head yell at each other, Henry slips a few coins into her bag and moves on. Several minutes later, when wits gets her wits back, she exits Untopia and sits outside the gate, shielded from the sun.

 

"It's just you and I now, cheesy. I will treasure and hold your deliciousness as if my life depends on it, since it does." Wits, slightly road-weary, falls asleep, allowing the cheese to fall out of her arms. As wits talks in her sleep about transvestites and robots, a young, slightly fluffy traveller approaches wits. The traveller laughs, takes a few pictures of the drooling wits, and picks up the cheese. "Ah, I could really use a snack after this long quest!" The traveller known as Emily exclaims. She takes a bite of the cheese and moves on.

 

After hyperventillating and being awoken by a terrible nightmare about killer hamsters, wits wakes up sweating. Frantic, she runs away. A few moments later, she realizes her cheese has disappeared. After searching for it and giving up, wits cries out.

 

"You may have defeated me this time, you sly fix, but never again!"

 

Meanwhile, Emily walks around, finding that she is luckier by the second from an unknown cause.

 

In summary, wits fell asleep with the cheese and I stole it. Simply stating this wouldn't have been as fun (even though it would have been a lot less time consuming.)

I get angry and begin tracking down the fox. I buy a butterfly net from the store, and change my clothes to mint green; the perfect colour for attracting sly foxes. Eventually a red and furry devil tries to snatch my clothes off, I catch him in my butterfly net, and then tie him up.

 

now before my fellow forumers can brave the unknowns of google image searching without safe-search, I have an example of what a furry looks when it's tied up.

[hide]

 

[/hide]

 

I then torture the kitty sly fox, until he breaks down in tears and tells me that he never had the cheese.

 

I decide that Henry must have the cheese, so we go to Untopia and beat up Henry till he says he stole the cheese. We then beat him up more till he unconfesses it.

 

Chagrined, I find a wizard who tells me that a fluff puff stole the cheese. I get something that points me to this puff, and away we go.

 

Five minutes later, I see the puff sleeping in her bed, all cute and cuddly...

To stop you from googling puff sleeping in her bed, I've included a picture of what she would like if she was a kitty...

 

[hide][/hide]

 

I take the bitten in cheese from her, and teleport to my own house.. Leaving the sly fox and henry in her room...

Silva, relieved to have escaped the worst of the cheese battle sets the cheese on her nightstand and pokes her kitty sleeping adorably in her bed, as pictured. Kitty stirs from her slumber and miaws irritatedly at Silva. She shrugs and lays down in bed pushing the kitty aside to do so. Her servo motors, kitty hops down and crawls under the bed. Silva reaches over to grab her precious, hard-fought cheese, only to have her hand swipe blindly through empty air. Silva's head snaps towards her nightstand; the cheese is gone!

 

Silva leaps to her feet and looks around frantically, hoping that the cheese just fell to the floor. Of course its nowhere to be found. She hits the ground and looks under the bed. Nothing but the computerized vocalizations of her kitty meets her. She turns the bed to its side to get a better look. Kitty gets spooked and runs to another corner of her room, her glowing red eyes monitoring Silva's actions carefully. No cheese to be found anywhere. She tears through her room, searching every nook and cranny for the precious dairy, to no avail.

 

She gives up and collapses on her bed, screaming with frustration and planning her next move. A mechanical whirring comes from kitty whose robotic gait is leading her to Silva's open door. Suddenly she realises. Silva jumps across the room and slams the door closed before "kitty" can get out. She lunges at kitty who nimbly leaps aside, landing at the other end of the room. Her eyes glow red and her segmented tail extends to double its length, the last segment opening up to allow a curved switchblade to swing out. She swipes menacingly at Silva as she emits a loud, statical hiss.

 

Silva backs up until the door stops her from going any further. Without a moment's hesitation the kitty robot leaps forward at SIlva. She screams and throws herself to the floor, crawling away on her hands and knees. But the kitty robot doesn't follow her. It clings to the door and jabs its switchblade into the doorknob, severing the mechanism and swinging the door open. It leaps down and tears through the house. Silva chases after it, if for no other reason than to see where it goes.

 

But before either Silva or the kitty robot can get far, an orange blur crashes into the kitty robot. Its knocked against the wall and emits a screeching digital howl. It whips its tail around trying to cut kitty as she claws at bites at its back. But kitty bites through the conduit running along the robot's back, severing control to the posterior half of the robot's bod. The hind legs and vicious tail go limp and fall to the floor. It drags itself forward by its front legs as kitty continues digging at its back. Finally kitty dislodges the kitty treat suck between the robot's armour plating and she noms it, then immediately loses interest in the robot and trots off.

 

The robot continues dragging itself forward, moving faster now that kitty is off its back, but Silva outpaces it with a quick walk. She gets ahead of it and stops down hard on its neck. The body severed from its control, and the head severed from its power supply, the robot collapses to the ground, completely inert and totally broken. She picks up the torso and pushes aside the long strands of fur sticking out of the gaps between its armour plates to cover the robot almost completely with hair. She sees what looks like a hatch and tries to pull it open, but it doesn't budge.

 

She hauls the carcass to her garage and tries to pry it open with a screwdriver. She bends the edge of the hatch a little but doesn't get any farther in opening it, the latch holding securely. Frustrated, she grabs a hammer and pounds the screwdriver into the gap. After several moments of frenzied banging, the screwdriver suddenly slips a few inches in. She celebrates, then starts hammering the screwdriver sideways, widening the gap. She pries it apart about half an inch, when suddenly an alarm sounds from the carcass.

 

Startled, she drops the hammer and backs away, the screwdriver still wedged in the body. Hydraulic steam hisses out of the robot's body as the latch releases and the hatch swings open. Nothing happens for a moment, until a propeller's high-pitched whine cuts the silence. Out of the compartment in the robot's body a tiny helicopter, the cheese pinched in its metallic talons. It hovers for a moment as it scans the room, then flies towards the window. Silva jumps for it but it quickly swerves away. A moment and a shattered window pane later, the helicopter steals away into the night.

 

On a TV mounted on the wall, from this distance, I can see it all, and I've been out here watching you, watching you fall.

 

On a TV mounted on the wall, from this distance, I can see it all, and I've been out here watching you, watching you fall.

 

and that there was a good example of FAIL fail.

 

 

I send kitty on a recon mission to find out who stole the cheese. Since kitty only likes taking treats a certain way,

I do not have to worry about her being side-tracked. And I go off to train.

 

Two days later, kitty re-appears again, she has the cheese in her mouth and she hurries to tell me I don't have to exercise anymore. Only to find out that I've gotten twice as fat as I was before, and to see me swallow a cake whole.

 

Understandably, kitty flips out on me, and stalks off in that kitty style. I scratch my head and pick up the cheese and run after her.

 

On a TV mounted on the wall, from this distance, I can see it all, and I've been out here watching you, watching you fall.

 

and that there was a good example of FAIL fail.

 

Moar liek recognizing intentional rhyming fail!

 

Anywho, as Silva chases after kitty, she runs faster and faster to get away from her. Suddenly kitty makes a sharp turn that Silva was unprepared for. She bangs into the wall and falls flat on her [wagon]. At that moment, another helicopter machine busts through the nearby window and shoots a tiny harpoon into the cheese, then reels the line in. As it flies out (and breaks) another window, a bay door opens up on the underside, showering kitty in her payment of kitty treats.

Huh, walls of text without the cheese king here. I'm proud guys, very proud.

 

Anyway:

 

I return in order to steal the cheese again, for the sake of old memories. As my last post was on page 101, I have lost all of my weapons, but I am as powerful as ever, with an arsenal of new weapons in my grasp. Among them is a sly fox costume.

 

I had followed Silver in search of the cheese, into Untopia. When I failed to obtain it, however, I returned, only to be caught by Silver, and tortured. When she fell for my acting and ran to Untopia, enraged, I followed her. After she tortured Henry, and once more ran, I met with him, and offered him revenge. He accepted, and I sent him to find a very special friend.

 

When Psycho entrusted his robots to take the cheese, I knew that was my chance. I very quietly slipped in and hid in a box near to the robot. When Silver sent her cat to get the cheese back, I followed it, and, very carefully, sidetracked it, using knowledge I've gained from years of cheese thieving. Then, fake cheese safely in Kitty's maw, I sent her back. Henry had, by this time, returned, with the last surviving ninja rat in tow. As everyone know ninjas are better than cyborgs, Psycho's robot was soundly defeated, and I once more obtained the cheese. Then, I threw Henry into the rickroll pit, because it pleased me.

Oh if only it were that simple. However the robot conspiracy goes much much deeper than who_am_i has the capacity to believe. You see, after my robot agents successfully took the cheese from SIlva the first time, they identified who_am_i as a potential threat. They drugged him from behind and transported him into a chamber which contained an exact duplicate of the real world, populated with robots. So everything around him is one of my robots in disguise, including Silva, kitty, henry, and the rat. While who_am_i is maintained in Truman Show-esque ignorance, I retain the cheese.