"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Lenticular_J]

You aren't "ready" for sex at thirteen, especially if you think you are. Where would you do it, anyways? You're thirteen. And unless you live in my town, the girls won't just be throwing it away for at least a year.

 

 

 

Plus, you sound too mature. That's a common sign of being less than confident in real life. What exactly is the problem with your luck with the ladies?

 

 

 

By the way, being bored doesn't mean you should start humping everything in sight. Trust me, my city has the highest concentration of STDs in the city - I have to be careful who I hug, much less put anything I don't want to fall off inside of.

 

 

 

Just wait. Until you find a person who's ready - and you're actually ready, too.

[rakaminko]

You aren't "ready" for sex at thirteen, especially if you think you are. Where would you do it, anyways? You're thirteen. And unless you live in my town, the girls won't just be throwing it away for at least a year.

 

 

 

Plus, you sound too mature. That's a common sign of being less than confident in real life. What exactly is the problem with your luck with the ladies?

 

 

 

By the way, being bored doesn't mean you should start humping everything in sight. Trust me, my city has the highest concentration of STDs in the city - I have to be careful who I hug, much less put anything I don't want to fall off inside of.

 

 

 

Just wait. Until you find a person who's ready - and you're actually ready, too.

 

Could you elaborate what you mean by "ready"? I'm not trying to rush it, I just believe I should start getting involved with girls, with respect toward the future. Around where I live, people are already pregnant around my age. I may sound cliche when I say this but I sound more mature because I'm not the stereotypical wannabe sex crazed 13 year old that obsesses over too many things. I may sound too mature due to my style of typing, which is just a side affect of typing too many essays :P.

 

My problem, is definitely not confidence; I would go as far to say that I am overconfident. Sex is not a priority, and I understand that STDs can be devastating. I just need a productive way to spend my time, beyond normal schoolwork(I'm in the smartest possible courses in my school) and video games. Right now, my life is too simple for my liking.

[justin_m23]

Get a hobby. In my opinion, any respectable girl would not but out at 13. So unless your looking for trash then I'd say just enjoy being a kid...

[Who]

Ahh, this is complicated.

 

 

 

I'm 13 years old(8th grade), mature both sexually and mentally(I've had a deep voice since maybe 11), intelligent, somewhat athletic, and I find myself to be quite attractive. My luck with the ladies is not really great (honestly I think it's because of my race and my height[5'1']).

 

Now I've been bored a lot lately and I really think it's time I start dating. I also believe I am ready to have sex. I could confidently walk into a store and buy condoms if needed. The problem, as I said before, is getting girls to like me. I have quite lenient standards but they can't be stupid as hell, or ugly(at least look like you can take care of yourself, I don't think being overweight/the like is something to be happy about as you likely inflicted it upon thyself). Now I've been wondering, why am I not so successful. I am always a gentleman and I give respect to every member of the fairer sex if they deserve it.

 

Well first of all you're 13, you may be mature in those aspects you describe, but if you really were mature you would realize that relationships aren't everything. You claim to be intelligent and athletic, so instead of trying to pursue girls, why not just focus on school assignments and sports activities?

 

 

 

I think I can confidently say that most girls are not thinking about having sex at your age. At this time, you should be increasing your pool of friends, so it becomes less awkward when changing schools. If you have friends to hang out with, then that is one way of spending your time "productively." Also, it wouldn't hurt for you to befriend some girls for more then the purpose of sex. You can't expect to have intimate relations with a girl right after you meet her. These things take time, and being 13, you will have plenty of it.

[rakaminko]

Ahh, this is complicated.

 

 

 

I'm 13 years old(8th grade), mature both sexually and mentally(I've had a deep voice since maybe 11), intelligent, somewhat athletic, and I find myself to be quite attractive. My luck with the ladies is not really great (honestly I think it's because of my race and my height[5'1']).

 

Now I've been bored a lot lately and I really think it's time I start dating. I also believe I am ready to have sex. I could confidently walk into a store and buy condoms if needed. The problem, as I said before, is getting girls to like me. I have quite lenient standards but they can't be stupid as hell, or ugly(at least look like you can take care of yourself, I don't think being overweight/the like is something to be happy about as you likely inflicted it upon thyself). Now I've been wondering, why am I not so successful. I am always a gentleman and I give respect to every member of the fairer sex if they deserve it.

 

Well first of all you're 13, you may be mature in those aspects you describe, but if you really were mature you would realize that relationships aren't everything. You claim to be intelligent and athletic, so instead of trying to pursue girls, why not just focus on school assignments and sports activities?

 

 

 

I think I can confidently say that most girls are not thinking about having sex at your age. At this time, you should be increasing your pool of friends, so it becomes less awkward when changing schools. If you have friends to hang out with, then that is one way of spending your time "productively." Also, it wouldn't hurt for you to befriend some girls for more then the purpose of sex. You can't expect to have intimate relations with a girl right after you meet her. These things take time, and being 13, you will have plenty of it.

 

I wholeheartedly realize that relationships are not everything, and that overall success is more important. I feel the need to go beyond school assignments(I scored highest possible in language arts standardized testing, AP for math) and sports(I run track, exercise in a school fitness club). The reason I desire a relationship is so I can have someone to trust/talk to while returning the favor. Let me stress that sex is not what I desire the most(there has to be some to be normal). I do in fact have female friends that I would never associate with sex. I need to go beyond and I need it to be something positive, unlike drugs(which I have thought about).

[MotherBrainII]

Trust me, my city has the highest concentration of STDs in the city.

 

 

 

I lol'd.

[Ginger_Warrior]

I'm 13 years old(8th grade), mature both sexually and mentally(I've had a deep voice since maybe 11), intelligent, somewhat athletic, and I find myself to be quite attractive. My luck with the ladies is not really great (honestly I think it's because of my race and my height[5'1']).

 

You think having a deep voice is evidence of maturity? :lol:

 

 

 

As if I needed to prove how much you still need to learn:

 

Now I've been bored a lot lately and I really think it's time I start dating. I also believe I am ready to have sex.

 

I'm bored. I know! I'll have sex to pass the time away.

 

 

 

Dude, there are 18 year olds who don't feel ready for sex, and that's not just because they've been told not to have sex by mummy and daddy, that's because they don't feel emotionally able to cope with it yet. It's a cliché, but it's a huge leap. Just face it, at 13, you ain't ready, and if there are girls out there in your area looking for sex at 13, then you don't wanna get involved with them.

[l0l0lpur32]

Ahh, this is complicated.

 

 

 

I'm 13 years old(8th grade), mature both sexually and mentally(I've had a deep voice since maybe 11), intelligent, somewhat athletic, and I find myself to be quite attractive. My luck with the ladies is not really great (honestly I think it's because of my race and my height[5'1']).

 

Now I've been bored a lot lately and I really think it's time I start dating. I also believe I am ready to have sex. I could confidently walk into a store and buy condoms if needed. The problem, as I said before, is getting girls to like me. I have quite lenient standards but they can't be stupid as hell, or ugly(at least look like you can take care of yourself, I don't think being overweight/the like is something to be happy about as you likely inflicted it upon thyself). Now I've been wondering, why am I not so successful. I am always a gentleman and I give respect to every member of the fairer sex if they deserve it.

 

You're 13.

[Lenticular_J]

Trust me, my city has the highest concentration of STDs in the city.

 

 

 

I lol'd.

 

Huh, meant southwest. Whatever. I didn't lol, I learned how to wash my hands.

[Sbrideau]

(there has to be some to be normal).

 

No.

[Nom]

I may sound cliche when I say this but I sound more mature because I'm not the stereotypical wannabe sex crazed 13 year old that obsesses over too many things.

 

 

 

My BS detector went code red. My irony detector exploded.

 

 

 

Where's Reb? He needs to give his potential rapist detector a shot at this.

[deloriagod]

I hate to pick this apart, but I just can't help myself. Please don't take offense to what I'm about to tell you.

 

 

 

 

I'm 13 years old(8th grade), mature both sexually and mentally(I've had a deep voice since maybe 11), intelligent, somewhat athletic, and I find myself to be quite attractive.

 

 

 

A deep voice only shows physical maturity. You're no where near sexually or mentally mature yet. You have a lot to learn in the next few years and your hormone levels won't even peak for another 5 years.

 

 

 

My luck with the ladies is not really great (honestly I think it's because of my race and my height[5'1']).

 

 

 

Height is somewhat of a factor in dating. But you're 13 years old. I was around that height when I was your age too. I see freshman every day that look like they should be in elementary school, but they'll grow out of it and so will you.

 

 

 

Now I've been bored a lot lately and I really think it's time I start dating. I also believe I am ready to have sex. I could confidently walk into a store and buy condoms if needed.

 

 

 

Boredom is not a reason to start dating. Do not go looking for a partner just to fill in your empty time. It won't lead to good things in the end. Again, your hormone levels won't peak for another 5 years so you're not ready for sex. I'm not saying you have to wait until you're 18, I'm saying 13 is not the appropriate age to be considering sex. And as far as I know, there's no age limits on condoms. I was able to buy them when I was 16 and I tend to look young.

 

 

 

The problem, as I said before, is getting girls to like me.I have quite lenient standards but they can't be stupid as hell, or ugly(at least look like you can take care of yourself, I don't think being overweight/the like is something to be happy about as you likely inflicted it upon thyself).

 

 

 

Be prepared to lower your standards a lot if you're just looking for someone to date or have sex with. I mean be ready to drop them to nothing at all. It takes time to find someone special, so I don't recommend messing it up by pushing sex on them or just dating for the hell of it.

 

 

 

Now I've been wondering, why am I not so successful. I am always a gentleman and I give respect to every member of the fairer sex if they deserve it.

 

 

 

Don't consider yourself unsuccessful. Like I said, it takes time to find someone special. If I dated every girl that has ever liked me, I probably wouldn't enjoy dating anymore. I didn't even start dating until I was 16, and I've only dated 4 girls since I then.

 

 

 

Basically what I'm trying to say is just wait a while longer, find something to occupy your mind, and don't try to be a player or just get into relationships for sex. Physical relationships are bound to fail, take my word for it.

 

 

 

(there has to be some to be normal)

 

 

 

Not at all. Sex is not needed in young relationships. I'm 18 years old and a virgin (in the sense that losing your virginity is "going all the way"), and I don't need sex for my relationships to be normal. At your age, having sex would be "cool" and probably make you more popular. When you get a little older you're going to see less people brag about having sex (the immature ones will continue). Don't think you need sex to have a normal relationship because you'll end up with some seriously messed up relationships instead.

 

 

 

Also, PM me if you'd like to talk more privately.

[rakaminko]

I don't think most would understand here, my physical maturity sans the height (my parents are short as well) is at it's peak, I'm able to "function" like most normal adults. The other aspects of maturity are subjective and I think the most important things is what you feel about yourself. When you say "you're 13" I know of the stereotype you speak of. It's hard to explain but I don't act like that and I don't think you would understand that without actually meeting me. A 13 year old does have the ability to be mature, the [cabbage] you see online is not what you should generalize upon.

[deloriagod]

I don't think most would understand here, my physical maturity sans the height (my parents are short as well) is at it's peak, I'm able to "function" like most normal adults. The other aspects of maturity are subjective and I think the most important things is what you feel about yourself. When you say "you're 13" I know of the stereotype you speak of. It's hard to explain but I don't act like that and I don't think you would understand that without actually meeting me. A 13 year old does have the ability to be mature, the [cabbage] you see online is not what you should generalize upon.

 

 

 

I hate to sound like a total douche, but I know exactly what you're saying. When I was 13 I was the same way. I thought I was all grown up, better than all my "immature" friends, and I could handle anything the world threw at me. But soon enough you'll see that being all "grown up" isn't as fun as it seems. Just have fun being young and don't worry about girls for a while. Soon enough you'll realize they can be more of a pain in the [wagon] than they can be fun (no offense to the females around here).

[Necrobean]

I don't think most would understand here, my physical maturity sans the height (my parents are short as well) is at it's peak, I'm able to "function" like most normal adults. The other aspects of maturity are subjective and I think the most important things is what you feel about yourself. When you say "you're 13" I know of the stereotype you speak of. It's hard to explain but I don't act like that and I don't think you would understand that without actually meeting me. A 13 year old does have the ability to be mature, the [cabbage] you see online is not what you should generalize upon.

 

 

 

As stated above you should enjoy your youth as long as you can before crashing yourself into relationships. Maturity isn't really that fun. Eitherway if you're more mature then the rest of your fellow friends. Girls (perhaps older ones) will come to you to have a chat. Just don't look at them as physical objects, show them your emotions, talk with them, trust them or just have fun with them. BUT maturity is all about experiencing the good and bad things in life, you will have experiences with total [bleep]es, it'll make you sad, it'll make you have feelings that you haven't felt before. Then again you will experience "love" you will experience lust, and again feelings that you never, ever felt before. I'm sorry to say I know that it's a stereotype and I fully understand that you hate it but... You're 13. You're living to fast, just enjoy your life as it is and I read that you thought about drugs. Please do a lot of research, ask people whom had experiences with drugs and wait untill you think you are ready to start experimenting with them (Which you shouldn't before you are 16-18+...) or to be the good girl that I am... DON'T DO DRUGS!

 

 

 

-Renate

[Who]

I don't think most would understand here, my physical maturity sans the height (my parents are short as well) is at it's peak, I'm able to "function" like most normal adults. The other aspects of maturity are subjective and I think the most important things is what you feel about yourself. When you say "you're 13" I know of the stereotype you speak of. It's hard to explain but I don't act like that and I don't think you would understand that without actually meeting me. A 13 year old does have the ability to be mature, the [cabbage] you see online is not what you should generalize upon.

 

"Youth is wasted on the young"

 

 

 

You're a kid, enjoy it. Why would anyone be proud of being physically mature at 13? I'm the entire inverse of your situation. I was probably the shortest in my classes in grade 8, yet my "maturity" far exceeds those with early puberty. I'm 16 now, and still am the height of the average 5th grader. Does that make me any less mature because I'm short? No! My mind's maturity far exceeds most of my high school peers (Who most males only think about sex), and it would be a shame for someone of intelligence to join in with the norm that is the high school relationships.

 

 

 

Girls are a distraction, focus on school now, relationships later. Most girls follow that mentality, and if you ever want to be in a relationship, you have to consider their way of thinking as well.

[rakaminko]

I don't think most would understand here, my physical maturity sans the height (my parents are short as well) is at it's peak, I'm able to "function" like most normal adults. The other aspects of maturity are subjective and I think the most important things is what you feel about yourself. When you say "you're 13" I know of the stereotype you speak of. It's hard to explain but I don't act like that and I don't think you would understand that without actually meeting me. A 13 year old does have the ability to be mature, the [cabbage] you see online is not what you should generalize upon.

 

"Youth is wasted on the young"

 

 

 

You're a kid, enjoy it. Why would anyone be proud of being physically mature at 13? I'm the entire inverse of your situation. I was probably the shortest in my classes in grade 8, yet my "maturity" far exceeds those with early puberty. I'm 16 now, and still am the height of the average 5th grader. Does that make me any less mature because I'm short? No! My mind's maturity far exceeds most of my high school peers (Who most males only think about sex), and it would be a shame for someone of intelligence to join in with the norm that is the high school relationships.

 

 

 

Girls are a distraction, focus on school now, relationships later. Most girls follow that mentality, and if you ever want to be in a relationship, you have to consider their way of thinking as well.

 

I would definitely not consider myself a kid and I am proud of my maturity, I see it as a blessing. Height does in fact mature but it does not affect maturity. Sex is in fact normal to think about, I don't want to engage in it until I find the best person for me. I am just thinking of the future. My schoolwork and the like are at a prime stage right now. But after everything that is extremely important is going well, there is a need to go beyond.

[Ginger_Warrior]

I don't think most would understand here, my physical maturity sans the height (my parents are short as well) is at it's peak, I'm able to "function" like most normal adults. The other aspects of maturity are subjective and I think the most important things is what you feel about yourself. When you say "you're 13" I know of the stereotype you speak of. It's hard to explain but I don't act like that and I don't think you would understand that without actually meeting me. A 13 year old does have the ability to be mature, the [cabbage] you see online is not what you should generalize upon.

 

You meet up with a girl and have sex with her. Let's say you spend the night with her. Can you honestly picture yourself going to sleep with someone, along with all the emotional anxiety that surrounds the actual event? What positions to use, worrying about whether it means anything to her, what's normal and what's just plain creepy, whether what you're feeling is the *right* feeling.

 

 

 

You wake up with that person the next morning, and you've no idea what she's feeling, how she feels about you, how *it* went. What about after? Sex is an emotional journey as well. What if she wants it again? What if she wants more?

 

 

 

Hell, there's at least seven questions and that's just looking at the two days after. Let alone what happens if you don't use protection, or a condom bursts, or you get busted by friends or parents...

 

 

 

Sex is a lot more than shoving a penis up there and doing the act.

 

 

 

Are you telling me, with honesty, you're able to answer those questions in the intimacy of someone else?

[Wisp]

Well, for a start, sex at that young an age is illegal just about everywhere, and it can seriously screw your life up if you get caught. I think the only country other than a few in africa and the middle east with an age of consent at 13 is japan, so unless you live in one of those countries, I suggest you wait.

 

Everyone goes through the maturity phase. You will probably look back in two or three years and realize that you probably weren't that mature.

 

Dating is fine, but don't take it too far. Personally, I would wait till 9th grade or till I turned 14 to start dating.

[palas1]

Well, for a start, sex at that young an age is illegal just about everywhere, and it can seriously screw your life up if you get caught. I think the only country other than a few in africa and the middle east with an age of consent at 13 is japan, so unless you live in one of those countries, I suggest you wait.

 

Everyone goes through the maturity phase. You will probably look back in two or three years and realize that you probably weren't that mature.

 

Dating is fine, but don't take it too far. Personally, I would wait till 9th grade or till I turned 14 to start dating.

 

lol sex isn't illegal if you sex with someone your age, who is "underaged" aswell, only if you have sex with someone old than it's illegal for them.

[Ouchy]

 

lol sex isn't illegal if you sex with someone your age, who is "underaged" aswell, only if you have sex with someone old than it's illegal for them.

 

 

 

You sir, are an idiot. Why would they make sex illegal just so you could do it with someone the same age as you? :| Whatever the legal limit is for your country, probably 16-18, is when anyone can have sex with anyone.

[Wisp]

Well, for a start, sex at that young an age is illegal just about everywhere, and it can seriously screw your life up if you get caught. I think the only country other than a few in africa and the middle east with an age of consent at 13 is japan, so unless you live in one of those countries, I suggest you wait.

 

Everyone goes through the maturity phase. You will probably look back in two or three years and realize that you probably weren't that mature.

 

Dating is fine, but don't take it too far. Personally, I would wait till 9th grade or till I turned 14 to start dating.

 

lol sex isn't illegal if you sex with someone your age, who is "underaged" aswell, only if you have sex with someone old than it's illegal for them.

 

It depends if the state/country you are in has a romeo & juliet clause in the aoc law. Many don't, and have a set age at which you can, with no inbetween. Ie: if a 16 year old had sex with a 15 and a half year old, the 16 yr old could go to jail for 3 years or something under charges of rape.

[Rebdragon]

Ahh, this is complicated.

 

 

 

I'm 13 years old(8th grade), mature both sexually and mentally(I've had a deep voice since maybe 11), intelligent, somewhat athletic, and I find myself to be quite attractive. My luck with the ladies is not really great (honestly I think it's because of my race and my height[5'1']).

 

Now I've been bored a lot lately and I really think it's time I start dating. I also believe I am ready to have sex. I could confidently walk into a store and buy condoms if needed. The problem, as I said before, is getting girls to like me. I have quite lenient standards but they can't be stupid as hell, or ugly(at least look like you can take care of yourself, I don't think being overweight/the like is something to be happy about as you likely inflicted it upon thyself). Now I've been wondering, why am I not so successful. I am always a gentleman and I give respect to every member of the fairer sex if they deserve it.

 

Is it just me, or does anyone else get depressed by hearing the exact same story over and over again? No offense to you- I'm just seeing a pattern, and it makes me sad seeing the same stereotype (regardless of age) all over this thread.

 

 

 

EDIT: Oh, ya N0M, my detector isn't going off here. Partially because I don't really see it in him (a reclusive, kind spirit?), but also partially because I don't think this guy is strong enough to be able to rape a girl.

[Nom]

K then. That's why we turn to you.

 

 

 

It is still rather disturbing that he justifies wanting to have sex with "I'm bored." Yeah, kid, find something else to do with your time. Not to sound condescending or anything but I highly doubt you're anywhere near as mature as you think you are, because face it you're a biased judge. You don't have the life experience to make that sort of judgment about yourself.

 

 

 

And those amazing grades? Watch them plummet as you spend your nights screwing and not getting enough sleep/doing homework. That great bod? . . . yeah, you know what I mean. [/scare tactic]

[MotherBrainII]

Palas1...

 

 

 

Actually, I think you'll find that intercourse between two minors IS illegal. It just tends to be treated less seriously than an adult having sex with a minor, because blame can't be apportioned as easily.