"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Quoi_Tu]

Hey sup,

 

 

 

figured this might belong here and I am not feeling like creating new threads about it, so...

 

 

 

There is this kid in high school that goes into the same class as I do. It has been for three years, and his demented jokes always trigger some wave of hate against me within my fellow students. He bugs me all the time whenever he sees me and god help me if I look his way.

 

I mean, this has been going for three long years, our class teacher told him about it that he shouldn't do it like three times, but he always resumed after a month or so.

 

 

 

Now, a new ( 3rd ) grade has begun for our class in september, and I have been educating myself with materials that could turn me from a complete p_ssy to a confident man and I have to say I really improved in life. Now don't take me as a fool, I live without my dad for like 7 years and the time spent in womens' raising have made me soft as a ... Uhm, I don't know what could be the right comparison to soft =D

 

However, the kid was still abusing me for few months, I could have dealt with him by beating the living brown substance out of him, but I would be expelled from the school for that. Also, I am not a very violent type.

 

 

 

Today was one of the breaking points when we came into our class and he was like "lol it stinks here because MC_Kejml farted here" and his lackeys - OF COURSE - believed him, so a long scene with open windows and expeditions from the class went on, the teacher at that class was like O_o wtf. Of course, I didn't do such thing.

 

 

 

However, I went to our class teacher, the person who should settle these matters, but she refused to help me, since he hates me now when I am confident, not the king [bleep]less of [kitty] more I was for the years past. I do not act too overconfident though, I am just your average Joe and if I started behaving that way when I came into that school, I'd be considered the cool kid that you can talk with anytime.

 

 

 

So my question is, how can I be helped? When there is no help at school, who can I turn to? My parents wouldn't give a [cabbage], too. I could try the school confidant or the principal, but going to the confidant and explaining my troubles just sounds... Odd.

 

I don't know.

 

 

 

Thanks in advance for all the ideas. Try not to tell how should I fix my behaviour, since I DO NOT DISTURB NOR TALK NOR PROVOKE THE DISTRUPTIVE KID ANYHOW.

 

 

 

Sup,

 

 

 

Sounds like you got yourself a bully. Best way to get rid of a bully is to deprive him of the pleasure of reaction. Don't ignore him, but don't care about what he says or does. If you really are confident, then what he does shouldn't bother you. However, from what you say he keeps bothering you, which means you're responding to him making fun of you. He wins when you break down, get angry, attack back, or give him any sort of attention in response to his actions.

 

 

 

Also, the bolded tells me you are not a confident person. Don't worry about it. Some people don't even gain the confidence to approach others until they are well into college (early 20s). So don't beat your self over not having "enough confidence." From the italicized, I can only assume you are coming off as arrogant or a complainer. Both of which will turn people away. My best suggestion is to deal with the bully as described above and see how that works out. If you dramatically change the way you react, he will notice and probably point this out. Just shrug it off like you have always acted this way, but don't do it to purposefully or he'll see through it in no time.

 

 

 

So, yes, I did completely ignore the last sentence. Just remember: Don't worry, be happy.

[MC_Kejml]

Thanks for advice,

 

 

 

I just don't understand the "but don't do it to purposefully or he'll see through it in no time." part. What does that mean?

[Quoi_Tu]

Thanks for advice,

 

 

 

I just don't understand the "but don't do it to purposefully or he'll see through it in no time." part. What does that mean?

 

 

 

If he makes fun of you and you just shrug, avoid eye contact, and don't respond at all, he may jump on the opprotunity to see how much it takes to make you respond. You want to acknowledge his actions, but be indifferent to their purpose (making you upset). I don't know the kid, so I can't say for sure, but you can try laughing (like a chuckle, not falling out of yourchair laughing or forced laughter) with him when he makes fun of you. It doesn't always work (like in the instance of the fart joke), but it can help sometimes. It's hard to tell you exactly what to do without properly knowing the situation and people involved, but I hope some of this general advice helped.

[MC_Kejml]

Thanks for advice,

 

 

 

I just don't understand the "but don't do it to purposefully or he'll see through it in no time." part. What does that mean?

 

 

 

If he makes fun of you and you just shrug, avoid eye contact, and don't respond at all, he may jump on the opprotunity to see how much it takes to make you respond. You want to acknowledge his actions, but be indifferent to their purpose (making you upset). I don't know the kid, so I can't say for sure, but you can try laughing with him when he makes fun of you. It doesn't always work (like in the instance of the fart joke), but it can help sometimes. It's hard to tell you exactly what to do without properly knowing the situation and people involved, but I hope some of this general advice helped.

 

 

 

Sure thing. However, I find out that in this age (or just in our class) the bullies doesn't even care for the person involved. From my ( and this may sound weird and funny at the same time ) observation, they appear to be boosting their ego and pecking order level by doing this. They don't give a crap for what the bullied guy does, but they are always "in for a good laugh, no matter the reason". And this may prove like a very tough situation to get through, moreso if you can't influent their actions in any way.

 

But the bullied person feels bad no matter their motivation or purpose.

 

 

 

More advice appreciated, as always.

[Quoi_Tu]

Sure thing. However, I find out that in this age (or just in our class) the bullies doesn't even care for the person involved. From my ( and this may sound weird and funny at the same time ) observation, they appear to be boosting their ego and pecking order level by doing this. They don't give a crap for what the bullied guy does, but they are always "in for a good laugh, no matter the reason". And this may prove like a very tough situation to get through, moreso if you can't influent their actions in any way.

 

But the bullied person feels bad no matter their motivation or purpose.

 

 

 

More advice appreciated, as always.

 

 

 

How do you or others who are bullied react when they are bullied?

 

 

 

Throughout my middle school and high school I would, at first glance, have seemed like someone to be bullied. You know the quiet, late bloomer, smart (not to toot my own horn) guy. Yet, I was never bullied. They tried, but never got the response they were looking for. When they would make a joke in my expense, I would play along and, depending on the situation, also make a joke at my own expense. This shows that I'm willing to laugh with them and make fun of myself, which is a horrible combination for a bully. I realize though that this might not work since you now have a reputation, but it's never too late to try.

[MC_Kejml]

Sure thing. However, I find out that in this age (or just in our class) the bullies doesn't even care for the person involved. From my ( and this may sound weird and funny at the same time ) observation, they appear to be boosting their ego and pecking order level by doing this. They don't give a crap for what the bullied guy does, but they are always "in for a good laugh, no matter the reason". And this may prove like a very tough situation to get through, moreso if you can't influent their actions in any way.

 

But the bullied person feels bad no matter their motivation or purpose.

 

 

 

More advice appreciated, as always.

 

 

 

How do you or others who are bullied react when they are bullied?

 

 

 

Throughout my middle school and high school I would, at first glance, have seemed like someone to be bullied. You know the quiet, late bloomer, smart (not to toot my own horn) guy. Yet, I was never bullied. They tried, but never got the response they were looking for. When they would make a joke in my expense, I would play along and, depending on the situation, also make a joke at my own expense. This shows that I'm willing to laugh with them and make fun of myself, which is a horrible combination for a bully. I realize though that this might not work since you now have a reputation, but it's never too late to try.

 

 

 

Yep... My reputation for my responses could really be the problem. Well, the ones that get bullied still don't react, but also still get the bullys' abusement. That's a thing I never understood, why, when the best thing is to not respond, they insist on attacking them.

[deloriagod]

MC_Kejml, he's been told to stop, correct? Take the matter to the principle. Threaten to get the law involved with harassment charges on the kid. Hell, threaten legal action against the school for letting this continue. The principle will do something about it. The last thing he needs is the school getting sued over something that he could have stopped.

[Quoi_Tu]

Yep... My reputation for my responses could really be the problem. Well, the ones that get bullied still don't react, but also still get the bullys' abusement. That's a thing I never understood, why, when the best thing is to not respond, they insist on attacking them.

 

 

 

In that case, in addition to what I said, I'd go with what deloria said. If it's bad enough that you feel emotionally scarred (good way to word it anyways ;) ), then the administration/police can try to straighten things up. The people you describe just sound like hormonal teenage jerks. You won't have to deal with them once you get out of high school or your country's equivalent (secondary? I don't know other education systems). Good luck!

[MC_Kejml]

MC_Kejml, he's been told to stop, correct? Take the matter to the principle. Threaten to get the law involved with harassment charges on the kid. Hell, threaten legal action against the school for letting this continue. The principle will do something about it. The last thing he needs is the school getting sued over something that he could have stopped.

 

 

 

Whoah, hey...

 

But yes, this needs to stop and I am looking forward to dealing with it. I don't like these stupid bullies ruining my proper growing up. Thx!

 

 

 

Many thanks also go to Quoi_Tu, for discussing the matter in depth with me.

[hellbellz]

So you want to get in a girls pants? Try these few steps.

 

 

 

- Stop playing MMO's for 2 hours a day.

 

- Lose the sloppy [wagon] haircut.

 

- Proactiv.

 

- Wear brand clothes, not Zelda twice a week.

 

- Little more Proactiv.

 

- Workout.

 

- Apply even more Proactiv after your workout.

 

- ????

 

- pants

[Toxic388]

 

- Wear brand clothes, not Zelda twice a week.

 

 

 

 

Lmfao.

 

 

 

He wasn't even talking about getting in a girl's pants.

[justin_m23]

So you want to get in a girls pants? Try these few steps.

 

 

 

- Stop playing MMO's for 2 hours a day.

 

- Lose the sloppy [wagon] haircut.

 

- Proactiv.

 

- Wear brand clothes, not Zelda twice a week.

 

- Little more Proactiv.

 

- Workout.

 

- Apply even more Proactiv after your workout.

 

- ????

 

- pants

 

 

 

Your cool, tell me more.

[wild_goat_14]

So you want to get in a girls pants? Try these few steps.

 

 

 

- Stop playing MMO's for 2 hours a day.

 

- Lose the sloppy [wagon] haircut.

 

- Proactiv.

 

- Wear brand clothes, not Zelda twice a week.

 

- Little more Proactiv.

 

- Workout.

 

- Apply even more Proactiv after your workout.

 

- ????

 

- pants

 

 

 

Accutane is much better(as long as you make it through the 6 months of extreme dryness and chapped lips). You can be lazy and not use any creams after finishing :thumbsup:

 

 

 

Oh, and don't use the internet to get in said pants. Unless you are bisexual and like wrinkles.

 

 

 

----------

 

 

 

Now I'm done joking for no reason, I'm back again for a bit of advice.

 

 

 

I like a girl(seriously, doesn't every one of these posts start with this?) and I don't know if she likes me back. I'll go ahead and say I'm extremely shy about asking her out, because my greatest fear is rejection. Plus, we are very close friends, but we sort of joke around like we are going out. You see, we went out for a year and a half and broke up around 2 years ago, so this isn't just another "guy who likes best friend" situation. We really didn't speak to each other much for 6 months to a year, but a few months a ago I got bored and txt her, not expecting an answer because her phone had been broken for a while, but she answered and we started talking a lot. Then I broke up with my girlfriend at the time, because I liked this girl more than my girlfriend.

 

 

 

Note: Soon after I broke up with this girl I realized I was crazy for dating her... she is so slow it isn't even funny... slow to the point that it pisses me off to be around her.

 

 

 

Then me and the girl I like kept talking, (not "talking" just talking, like friends do) and now we are really close... I wanted to ask her out all last week but I chickened out every day. Now I won't see her till next Monday, and I dunno if she is still interested, as she seems to have backed off a bit. I think she might like another guy... but I'm not too worried about him as he dips... and I know she'd NEVER date someone who does that, because she thinks it is disgusting(as do I). Now I'm wondering what I should do next.

 

 

 

Oh, and btw, my parents HATE the idea of me dating her, but they wouldn't keep me from dating someone.

 

 

 

Also, most of you are probably thinking(duh, just friends) but she has dropped tons and tons of hints. She calls me "a great guy" and "sweet"(I am kind of good with words, I just don't say em often) a lot, and we always talk about "what if we went back out". She also drops hints the other way, such as "you'll find someone perfect for you" and crap like that... She also will never hint to a guy that she likes him... she wants him to be the one to ask and not know the answer she will give beforehand.

 

 

 

I don't know if it matters, but her parents really like me.

 

 

 

Also(just giving all the information I can) we're in high school, both sophomores, I'm 15(16 in Jan.) and she's 16(17 around the same time).

 

 

 

Thanks in advance!

[justin_m23]

Not much you can do other than ask her how she feels. It can go either way, I really can't see any clues that point her in one strong direction.

[Gunfireomega]

I'm sorry, but I have to say this...

 

 

 

IF YOU WANT A GIRL, DO NOT TELL HER ABOUT YOUR RS LIFE!!!!!!

 

 

 

:D

[deloriagod]

I'm sorry, but I have to say this...

 

 

 

IF YOU WANT A GIRL, DO NOT TELL HER ABOUT YOUR RS LIFE!!!!!!

 

 

 

:D

 

 

 

My girl knows about my video game addiction and she stays with me. It's not a big deal unless you're going for that over-the-top gorgeous, preppy, more friends than she can actually count, thinks you're worthless and nerdy girl.

[Gunfireomega]

Point taken.

 

:oops:

[DerekZoolandah]

I'm sorry, but I have to say this...

 

 

 

IF YOU WANT A GIRL, DO NOT TELL HER ABOUT YOUR RS LIFE!!!!!!

 

 

 

:D

 

 

 

My girl knows about my video game addiction and she stays with me. It's not a big deal unless you're going for that over-the-top gorgeous, preppy, more friends than she can actually count, thinks you're worthless and nerdy girl.

 

 

 

This. Most of the girls I've dated (and the one I'm currently dating) know that I play video games often and am a huge history nerd. They don't care though.

[Canadianm0nk]

Alright guys, I've been lurking around here for awhile and I've got a question that's been bugging me deeply...

 

 

 

I'll give you the back story first. So, about a year ago I met this chick at a church function and we exchanged numbers and all of that stuff. We started hanging out a lot, and about 2 weeks after I met her we started going out. So, we're going out, seem to have a completely healthy relationship. Well, about a month ago, she dumps me. Not even the slightest sign of anything wrong. The part of this that really eats me up is that she did it through a phone call around 11 at night on a Sunday night. We had even hung out earlier that day. So, I get pretty depressed for awhile but eventually I pull my head out of my [wagon] and get back into the gist of things.

 

 

 

This is where the problem starts. So about three days after she dumps me, she shows up to a church event with this "new" guy. And they are all on top of each other, as if they had been dating for 6 months. This escalated to the point of the youth leader telling them to stop, which they finally did. And, I must say, this new guy is a [bleep] and was flaunting to me his relationship with my previous girlfriend. Well, some words got exchanged and it all ended with a couple of black eyes and two bloody noses. (that part is fairly irrelevant just figured I would include as much detail as possible).

 

 

 

Since me and my old gf don't go to the same school I don't really see what goes on there, but I started talking to some of her (and my) friends who go to school with her and I find out she's been cheating on me since about 2 months into our relationship. Why they didn't tell me earlier pissed me off, and made me lose faith in myself.

 

 

 

Now, I'm dealing with a severe case of lack of self esteem, and also lack of faith in relationships. Since I found out about her cheating on me, I had another quick one week relationship with another girl, but I just couldn't connect.(This was more of a favor I owed a really close friend, it was destined to fail miserably). My question is how in the world will I ever get back into finding a somewhat serious (as serious as high school can be) relationship with people when I see every person cheating on me? Also, I don't know how to restore my self pride/esteem.

 

 

 

Wow, this got long really fast... I guess this is more just venting in text form. Talked to all my friends about it and they've been supportive, I'm just looking for some better advice. All they can offer is "get back on the football field and kick some ___(Insert rival school) [wagon]". :? :wall:

[Ginger_Warrior]

There are many ways of building self-esteem. One obvious one is social interaction. Keep in touch with your friends away from this girl, but don't go OTT or become clingy to them. Healthy social interaction allows us to feel "in-touch" with the world, which improves our outlook on ourselves and life.

 

 

 

Another way to is to expand on the things which we enjoy. If you play football for a team (I'm guessing you mean American?), keep at it. The feeling of being part of a team also helps with self-esteem because it creates the impression of being belonged, and that you have a purpose - basically, you have something to offer to everyone. Also, careers tie in with this. A good way to improve self-esteem is to work hard in your job and improve your reputation or earn a promotion / more hours / pay rise.

 

 

 

Finally, if seeing this guy is so damaging to your self-esteem, consider leaving the group altogether. It's not cowardice, it's looking after #1. Remember that relationships are not a fight, and her decision to see him while going out with you is not reflective on your personality at all.

 

 

 

Just follow that advice, regain that confidence, and you'll up and running again soon. In fact, now you've hit this hurdle, you'll be better prepared for disappointment later on in life through experience. Hurt makes us stronger in the long run.

[Canadianm0nk]

Thanks Ginger, it's nice to hear advice from someone different every once in a while.

 

 

 

I actually have tried really hard to remove myself from her/her boyfriend, its just every Wednesday we have church (Jesus freak ftw) youth events and so I see them both. On your second point, about involvement, I strive to my maximum potential in sports/academics; I guess now that I'm in between sports seasons and experiencing the period between last days of learning new material and exams my mind had a lot more time to wander.

 

 

 

It just seems that something is missing. I guess that when my relationship ended on such a rough note, the emotional ties were severed abruptly and now I'm just starting to realize they're gone. And that ties in with my self confidence issue; it seems that with that lack of REAL emotional connection I'm not complete. And so, I bring myself down and feel I don't deserve the gift of a relationship.

 

 

 

Just follow that advice, regain that confidence, and you'll up and running again soon. In fact, now you've hit this hurdle, you'll be better prepared for disappointment later on in life through experience. Hurt makes us stronger in the long run.

 

 

 

I really like that quote, and I would like to ask your permission to quote you in my siggy :roll: .

 

 

 

Thanks again, you've been a great help. :)

[NoMoreDead]

I just don't know how much more I can take.

 

 

 

I've been dating a girl (including two break ups) for about 3 years now. In the last two months, I've noticed two things.

 

 

 

One of these things is that about half of the stuff we do I really don't want to partake in, and do it just to please her. I can't even get a smile out of her half the time and it kills me. She makes things so hard for me without knowing it. She is eating away at me because I no longer appear to make her as happy as I used to, despite the fact that she still says I do. I know when her heart isn't in it, and I know what's up. She's losing faith (as am I) in our relationship, and neither of us will admit it. Neither of us will own up to the fact that things aren't as they used to be. She constantly tells me that things aren't as "fresh" or "new" as they we're when we first went out. She longs for things to be like they were in the past, and she wants the new-relationship feeling. This seems impossible to me, and despite going to places that she wants to go, I still cannot bring about this spark.

 

 

 

Second is that other girls are attracted to me. I'm not trying to sound like I'm all that or anything, but I'm aware that at least two other girls are interested in me. This is influincing my feelings quite a bit mostly because I know that I could find something better with someone else. I feel like when I hang out with them I have a much better time. Is this all in my head?

 

 

 

One side of me is scared that I'm making the wrong choice. I'm scared of the feelings of sorrow that I'll have upon me if we break up. I'm scared of knowing that she is with someone else. I'm scared to wake up miserable every morning. I'm scared of missing her.

 

 

 

But I'm also scared I'll never know what's best for me. I'm scared that I might not be as happy with her ever again, and that if I don't end this now I'll miss out on so much more.

 

 

 

What can I do? I want to overcome this and be single again, but I'm haunted by my past. When I was a Sophmore (two years ago) we broke up, and the pain ate away at me for two months before we finally got back together. If I make this decision I don't want to regret it for the rest of my high school days (I'm a senior, mind you).

 

 

 

What's left for me? What can I do?

[Pan_Nx]

I just don't know how much more I can take.

 

 

 

I've been dating a girl (including two break ups) for about 3 years now. In the last two months, I've noticed two things.

 

 

 

One of these things is that about half of the stuff we do I really don't want to partake in, and do it just to please her. I can't even get a smile out of her half the time and it kills me. She makes things so hard for me without knowing it. She is eating away at me because I no longer appear to make her as happy as I used to, despite the fact that she still says I do. I know when her heart isn't in it, and I know what's up. She's losing faith (as am I) in our relationship, and neither of us will admit it. Neither of us will own up to the fact that things aren't as they used to be. She constantly tells me that things aren't as "fresh" or "new" as they we're when we first went out. She longs for things to be like they were in the past, and she wants the new-relationship feeling. This seems impossible to me, and despite going to places that she wants to go, I still cannot bring about this spark.

 

 

 

Second is that other girls are attracted to me. I'm not trying to sound like I'm all that or anything, but I'm aware that at least two other girls are interested in me. This is influincing my feelings quite a bit mostly because I know that I could find something better with someone else. I feel like when I hang out with them I have a much better time. Is this all in my head?

 

 

 

One side of me is scared that I'm making the wrong choice. I'm scared of the feelings of sorrow that I'll have upon me if we break up. I'm scared of knowing that she is with someone else. I'm scared to wake up miserable every morning. I'm scared of missing her.

 

 

 

But I'm also scared I'll never know what's best for me. I'm scared that I might not be as happy with her ever again, and that if I don't end this now I'll miss out on so much more.

 

 

 

What can I do? I want to overcome this and be single again, but I'm haunted by my past. When I was a Sophmore (two years ago) we broke up, and the pain ate away at me for two months before we finally got back together. If I make this decision I don't want to regret it for the rest of my high school days (I'm a senior, mind you).

 

 

 

What's left for me? What can I do?

 

There's no point in dragging on a relationship that neither of you are enjoying. I would move on to someone else. If you can't get anything out of her now, why would you be able to get much out of her later?

[deloriagod]

[hide=]I just don't know how much more I can take.

 

 

 

I've been dating a girl (including two break ups) for about 3 years now. In the last two months, I've noticed two things.

 

 

 

One of these things is that about half of the stuff we do I really don't want to partake in, and do it just to please her. I can't even get a smile out of her half the time and it kills me. She makes things so hard for me without knowing it. She is eating away at me because I no longer appear to make her as happy as I used to, despite the fact that she still says I do. I know when her heart isn't in it, and I know what's up. She's losing faith (as am I) in our relationship, and neither of us will admit it. Neither of us will own up to the fact that things aren't as they used to be. She constantly tells me that things aren't as "fresh" or "new" as they we're when we first went out. She longs for things to be like they were in the past, and she wants the new-relationship feeling. This seems impossible to me, and despite going to places that she wants to go, I still cannot bring about this spark.

 

 

 

Second is that other girls are attracted to me. I'm not trying to sound like I'm all that or anything, but I'm aware that at least two other girls are interested in me. This is influincing my feelings quite a bit mostly because I know that I could find something better with someone else. I feel like when I hang out with them I have a much better time. Is this all in my head?

 

 

 

One side of me is scared that I'm making the wrong choice. I'm scared of the feelings of sorrow that I'll have upon me if we break up. I'm scared of knowing that she is with someone else. I'm scared to wake up miserable every morning. I'm scared of missing her.

 

 

 

But I'm also scared I'll never know what's best for me. I'm scared that I might not be as happy with her ever again, and that if I don't end this now I'll miss out on so much more.

 

 

 

What can I do? I want to overcome this and be single again, but I'm haunted by my past. When I was a Sophmore (two years ago) we broke up, and the pain ate away at me for two months before we finally got back together. If I make this decision I don't want to regret it for the rest of my high school days (I'm a senior, mind you).

 

 

 

What's left for me? What can I do?[/hide]

 

There's no point in dragging on a relationship that neither of you are enjoying. I would move on to someone else. If you can't get anything out of her now, why would you be able to get much out of her later?

 

 

 

On one hand, I'm thinking the same as you. Yet on another hand I know relationships hit points where both people have to work to keep things going. The way I see his problem, he's left the "honeymoon phase", as it's put. Really he could go either way, it's up to him. If he leaves her he risks possibly losing her for good this time and running into the same problem again. If he doesn't leave her, he risks possibly ending up with the relationship going completely to hell over time. My grandpa once told me to find someone that I loved but I also just enjoyed being around/could put up with because those amazing little feelings you get in the beginning do fade away over time.

[Ginger_Warrior]

[hide=]

I just don't know how much more I can take.

 

 

 

I've been dating a girl (including two break ups) for about 3 years now. In the last two months, I've noticed two things.

 

 

 

One of these things is that about half of the stuff we do I really don't want to partake in, and do it just to please her. I can't even get a smile out of her half the time and it kills me. She makes things so hard for me without knowing it. She is eating away at me because I no longer appear to make her as happy as I used to, despite the fact that she still says I do. I know when her heart isn't in it, and I know what's up. She's losing faith (as am I) in our relationship, and neither of us will admit it. Neither of us will own up to the fact that things aren't as they used to be. She constantly tells me that things aren't as "fresh" or "new" as they we're when we first went out. She longs for things to be like they were in the past, and she wants the new-relationship feeling. This seems impossible to me, and despite going to places that she wants to go, I still cannot bring about this spark.

 

 

 

Second is that other girls are attracted to me. I'm not trying to sound like I'm all that or anything, but I'm aware that at least two other girls are interested in me. This is influincing my feelings quite a bit mostly because I know that I could find something better with someone else. I feel like when I hang out with them I have a much better time. Is this all in my head?

 

 

 

One side of me is scared that I'm making the wrong choice. I'm scared of the feelings of sorrow that I'll have upon me if we break up. I'm scared of knowing that she is with someone else. I'm scared to wake up miserable every morning. I'm scared of missing her.

 

 

 

But I'm also scared I'll never know what's best for me. I'm scared that I might not be as happy with her ever again, and that if I don't end this now I'll miss out on so much more.

 

 

 

What can I do? I want to overcome this and be single again, but I'm haunted by my past. When I was a Sophmore (two years ago) we broke up, and the pain ate away at me for two months before we finally got back together. If I make this decision I don't want to regret it for the rest of my high school days (I'm a senior, mind you).

 

 

 

What's left for me? What can I do?

 

There's no point in dragging on a relationship that neither of you are enjoying. I would move on to someone else. If you can't get anything out of her now, why would you be able to get much out of her later?

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On one hand, I'm thinking the same as you. Yet on another hand I know relationships hit points where both people have to work to keep things going. The way I see his problem, he's left the "honeymoon phase", as it's put. Really he could go either way, it's up to him. If he leaves her he risks possibly losing her for good this time and running into the same problem again. If he doesn't leave her, he risks possibly ending up with the relationship going completely to hell over time. My grandpa once told me to find someone that I loved but I also just enjoyed being around/could put up with because those amazing little feelings you get in the beginning do fade away over time.

 

This.

 

 

 

Simply put, that starry-eyed feeling you get when you start a new relationship has faded, and to be perfectly honest, after three years I'd have hoped so at our age. That doesn't mean the relationship's doomed though. It's just common for teenagers to get insecure when that buzz goes. They seem to mistake happiness for passion.

 

 

 

Try to see each other less. If the relationship survives that, then there's something worth chasing for. Try making the time you spend with her a little more personal and intimate, or do something which gets both you hyper (like a music gig or something, if that's your sort of thing).

 

 

 

Basically, after you get past that first stage, quality seems to be more than quantity. She said your company does make her happy, just not in the same surprising way you did three years ago. That's perfectly natural, and there's little reason to panic.