Yeah, just chillax man. Everybody worries about what other people think of themselves, the best you can really do is worry less and make it seem like you worry even less. It's tough to be confident fo rizzle, but you can hit it if you wake up in the morning smelling some hot [cabbage]. AND GUESS WHAT - IT'S YOU!

The worst thing you can do after breaking up is sit at home and think about it all day. You do need to think about it, but don't let it be all you do. Go out with friends, have fun and realize that you don't need your ex to have fun. Can I also take a wild stab and guess that you were timid because she WAS your first girlfriend, and were worried to overwhelm her or offend her? You just have to trust her to say if things are moving a bit fast. Hell, if you're unsure and really think you might step over the line a bit too far should you try something, drop hints to get the idea in her mind and see how she responds. Don't ask her outright though.

Ok so to help you understand this my original post was on p.179(one of the first posts)and the follow-up on p.188(scroll down to about half way).

 

 

 

 

 

Well these last few weeks with her have been great, everything I expected and a little more. It was almost like a daydream, like it couldn't have even really happend. But this last week has been different, horrible even.

 

 

 

She has been completely ignoring me since Monday, being mean to me, and just acting totally uncaring. Well last night(Tuesday night) she texted me admiting to being that way, and explaining how she has been stressed out about a lot of things and how she was sorry and she was going to change.

 

 

 

Well today we went to church, yes the same church from the previous posts, and this isn't the first time we've been since we've gotten together. But this time was awful, her Ex, the VERY same guy she left me for the first time was there. Well as I said, this isn't the first time we've been since getting back togther, and he was there the other times. But like I said, this time was different. He's coming straight from football practice(of course he's a football player, which makes me look even more like a piece of [cabbage] by comparison.) to church, so of course he's tired as hell. But god when he comes in he looks like a sad puppy dog, and he just looks depressed. Well tonight she kept looking at him and I could just see by the look in her face that something [bleep]ing horrible was about to happen to me. Well when we got home she of course was being the same, and then her and her mom got in an arguement(her mom is a crazy drunk [bleep], always) and so she put her ipod headphones on and started texting to ignore her mom. Well usually she will text her friends she's met online from however many states away, but I noticed she was texting her ex(the guy from the church) and they have barely even spoken since they broke up. Well they ended up texting for a while, and I knew it was bad news for me. Well this may be kind of crazy, but she did a Myspace survey and this is one of the Q/A.

 

 

 

Have you ever let someone go because you thought you deserved better?

 

I let someone go around a month ago because I thought HE deserved better, not me. :c I'm sure he thinks I was being a jerk and making up excuses to get with other people; I just never told him the truth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All of these things are just pointing twards the same signs I saw before the last time she broke up with me. I mean I feel like a piece of [cabbage], I'm so stupid, I can't ever think of cool romantic things to say. I never know what to say honestly, I'm a real jackass. It's pretty safe to say I really don't deserve her, and that I don't know what the hell I was thinking.

 

 

 

I hate everything about this, today is the first day in my life I've thought about cutting myself. The worst of it is that I know this is all my fault, I dug my own grave, I am an actual idiot. Tonight I talked to her mom for like 3 hours and she tried to tell me good things, even though in the back of my mind I wanted to cry because I knew they weren't true. But regadrless I felt a little better. So that's when I get home log into myspace and read that survey..I know that all my posts on these forums are over-dramatic and overly emotional, my disagreements end up as me flaming, I'm always way too dramatic about the simplest things. I know that a good portion of the people that visit off-topic often probobly hate me, and rightfully so. But I guess I really don't need advice, though feel free to try, there's nothing I can do, I don't know what I'm going to do, I really feel like disapearing. But anyways I just needed to write this, and I figured no one I know would ever read it here so why not.

[snip]

 

Dude, that sucks. I hope she is just stressed and that things will get better. Atleast with this way it will lessen the impact if she did break up with you. My ex broke up with me for the guy she was trying to set her sister up with. She had hardly spoken with him or spent any time with him. :wall:

brap

 

 

 

From what I've read;

 

 

 

*you love her

 

 

 

*she still has feelings for her ex

 

 

 

*she treats you like [cabbage]

 

 

 

 

 

Calm it down dude, she sounds like a right [bleep] from where I'm sitting. Make the move and break up with her, don't linger and wait for her to do it. Time for you to move on; it's obvious that she hasn't moved on from her ex.

 

 

 

It's a cliché but time heals; no matter how much you love her it's best if you make the first move. When you do end things with her don't communicate with her in any way it's easier to cope that way. Keep strong dude and make sure you do things that make you happy - be selfish a little.

My girlfriend broke up with me today. I'm not as bad as I thought I'd feel, mainly because it was a really calm and peaceful breakup, and there's still the possibility of things happening up again. Plus I totally used some hardcore reverse psychology on her to make it seem like I was fine with the breakup, and she got kind of upset. It's for the best really, neither of us can really deal with a relationship right now, we've both got other stuff going on, plus we're still friends. I'm gonna miss the relationship though. but I can't let her see that, because then she'll probably end up missing me, or us rather.

 

Even if we don't end up together I've still got a great friend.

 

Just felt the need to tell someone, don't necesarilly wan't to tell people, especially not in detail. Kind of just, not what I want to tell people.

 

Needed an outlet to share this with, but I"m feeling alright at the moment, I am dissapoint a bit, but, it wasn't rough at all, and the love is still there, just not quite the same, the relationships kind of been going downhill for the past month or so.

 

 

 

Anyways, I'm done with writing bout it, kind of makes me sad. But I feel a lot better.

[cabbage]. I'm gonna HAVE to ask out that freshman girl in journalism tomorrow. She's in color guard, along with several girls that, for some reason or another, absolutely hate me (I've talked to them about twice in my life, although that may be the reason - I make an effort to talk to everyone I have class with), and I'm going to assume they're becoming friends. Today we had a pep rally, and the color guard girls were all right in front of me (I got in late and had to stand on the floor, which was all good since I just talked to the cheerleaders and all). I noticed the freshman girl was in color guard (I don't know why it didn't click then, [cabbage]), and she kept looking at me and smiling, so I started talking to her, kinda flirting, you know.

 

 

 

Then, I turned around to talk to some friends that were nudging me, and when I looked back, the two main girls that hate me were talking to the freshman girl and it did not look so good. I saw a lot of eyes rolling. DAMN IT. I'm sure I could still work something up, but DAMN IT I hate when people hate you for no reason.

[cabbage]. I'm gonna HAVE to ask out that freshman girl in journalism tomorrow. She's in color guard, along with several girls that, for some reason or another, absolutely hate me (I've talked to them about twice in my life, although that may be the reason - I make an effort to talk to everyone I have class with), and I'm going to assume they're becoming friends. Today we had a pep rally, and the color guard girls were all right in front of me (I got in late and had to stand on the floor, which was all good since I just talked to the cheerleaders and all). I noticed the freshman girl was in color guard (I don't know why it didn't click then, [cabbage]), and she kept looking at me and smiling, so I started talking to her, kinda flirting, you know.

 

 

 

Then, I turned around to talk to some friends that were nudging me, and when I looked back, the two main girls that hate me were talking to the freshman girl and it did not look so good. I saw a lot of eyes rolling. DAMN IT. I'm sure I could still work something up, but DAMN IT I hate when people hate you for no reason.

 

 

 

Lent If you find a way to solve this. Tell me.

 

 

 

It's what's causing all my stress at the moment...

I should try and give you a hand, because your situation will be 10x harder than mine. I'm just gonna try and ignore the fact that her friends hate me for some reason, because it probably won't have that much of an effect.

 

 

 

For you, I recommend just hanging out with her friends. Forcing friendship onto them. Try one more time, and that's it. If it doesn't work, I recommend moving on, because you'll never get anywhere - and I doubt you're so selfish that you would make her lose all support from her friends and family just for you. Romeo and Juliet were major [wagon]. A whole lot of folks got killed just because they were horny, hormonal teenagers.

So where do I begin?

 

 

 

I went away on vacation for a week to Antigua. During that time my girlfriend of 4 months hung out with a guy named Jeff twice. I get back from vacation and we hang out on monday. I thought everything was going great. Tuesday she tells me she doesn't know how she can go through junior and senior year with a boyfriend. (She is a Junior) I am a freshman in college. It all turns out that she likes Jeff. Go figure. So she wanted to go on a break. But she wants to see me during that break. I saw her tonight and it felt as amazing as usual and she agreed but she doesn't want a committed relationship. She says she is a bad person and I ask her why. She said "Idk because I make you upset and sick" I said cant you please fix that. she says so you admit it and i said im not going to lie to you. Yet she tells me she loves me and wants to marry me still. She talks of college and she wants to get good grades to go to the school I attend with me. She also says she wants to be with me forever and wants to marry me. But she wants to be able to be with this one guy and be with me. She hangs out with me more but its unfair to me. We can't go from going study to just dating. What should I do? I've been really upset and lost sleep and can't keep any of my food down.

So today my step mom ish person told me there is a girl who just moved here from another province and my step mom some how knows her relatives or something I can't remember. Anyways my step mom wants me to meet her cause she doesn't know anyone \ Might not be for a while but this could hopefully turn out good :pray: :thumbsup: I shouldve asked what her name is so I could know if shea in any of my classes and stuff :wall:

So where do I begin?

 

 

 

I went away on vacation for a week to Antigua. During that time my girlfriend of 4 months hung out with a guy named Jeff twice. I get back from vacation and we hang out on monday. I thought everything was going great. Tuesday she tells me she doesn't know how she can go through junior and senior year with a boyfriend. (She is a Junior) I am a freshman in college. It all turns out that she likes Jeff. Go figure. So she wanted to go on a break. But she wants to see me during that break. I saw her tonight and it felt as amazing as usual and she agreed but she doesn't want a committed relationship. She says she is a bad person and I ask her why. She said "Idk because I make you upset and sick" I said cant you please fix that. she says so you admit it and i said im not going to lie to you. Yet she tells me she loves me and wants to marry me still. She talks of college and she wants to get good grades to go to the school I attend with me. She also says she wants to be with me forever and wants to marry me. But she wants to be able to be with this one guy and be with me. She hangs out with me more but its unfair to me. We can't go from going study to just dating. What should I do? I've been really upset and lost sleep and can't keep any of my food down.

 

 

 

I'm in the same sort of situation, but you are a bit further ahead than I am. She wanted a break, then realised that she liked someone else. She also says all the thing like she wants to be with me forever, wants to live with me etc etc.

 

 

 

But, I'm not even sure how to handle my situation. I've lost quite a bit of sleep over it and have been feeling ill. So, although I can't answer how to sort it out, I know how you feel, and I hope someone can provide the answers you need :)

I make no claim that I would know how a girl thinks however. I, like almost all guys, wish I knew. If Goddess still frequented the forum, I'd tell you to talk to her.

 

 

 

I'm more likely to reply to private messages than threads these days ;)

So where do I begin?

 

 

 

I went away on vacation for a week to Antigua. During that time my girlfriend of 4 months hung out with a guy named Jeff twice. I get back from vacation and we hang out on monday. I thought everything was going great. Tuesday she tells me she doesn't know how she can go through junior and senior year with a boyfriend. (She is a Junior) I am a freshman in college. It all turns out that she likes Jeff. Go figure. So she wanted to go on a break. But she wants to see me during that break. I saw her tonight and it felt as amazing as usual and she agreed but she doesn't want a committed relationship. She says she is a bad person and I ask her why. She said "Idk because I make you upset and sick" I said cant you please fix that. she says so you admit it and i said im not going to lie to you. Yet she tells me she loves me and wants to marry me still. She talks of college and she wants to get good grades to go to the school I attend with me. She also says she wants to be with me forever and wants to marry me. But she wants to be able to be with this one guy and be with me. She hangs out with me more but its unfair to me. We can't go from going study to just dating. What should I do? I've been really upset and lost sleep and can't keep any of my food down.

 

 

 

Don't let her treat you like dirt. End it.

This is to no one particular and also every guy on these forums.

 

 

 

I'm a girl.

 

I date other girls.

 

As a girl, I know how I think.

 

As a girl, I know how girls you are dating think.

 

If you are a guy, you're screwed.

 

Sorry. :(

sooo.

 

 

 

i think it shows how desperate im getting that im posting here.

 

 

 

im incredibly shy irl, and the few friends i have all left for uni.

 

 

 

i was going to head to school too but didnt work out.

 

 

 

basically im in a small town with no friends and a crappy job.

 

 

 

advice on how to connect with people on any sort of level?

 

 

 

i literally have nobody to talk to, and havent hung out with anyone in like 2 months.

sooo.

 

 

 

i think it shows how desperate im getting that im posting here.

 

 

 

im incredibly shy irl, and the few friends i have all left for uni.

 

 

 

i was going to head to school too but didnt work out.

 

 

 

basically im in a small town with no friends and a crappy job.

 

 

 

advice on how to connect with people on any sort of level?

 

 

 

i literally have nobody to talk to, and havent hung out with anyone in like 2 months.

 

 

 

First thing you should do is realise that there is no pressure on you to get a group of friends. I felt pressured when I came to college, because only a few people from my school came, and I didn't really get along with them. If you feel pressured you'll feel even more shy, and that will inhibit you.

 

 

 

You could try a youth club or social club in your area.

i dont feel pressured to have friends, i just need someone to hang out with and talk to.

 

 

 

isnt that a pretty basic feeling?

i dont feel pressured to have friends, i just need someone to hang out with and talk to.

 

 

 

isnt that a pretty basic feeling?

 

 

 

Yes, but I misinterpreted what you said.

:cry:

 

I just read the pst two or three pages and I got very sad. I'm used to seeing problems on here, but I think that's a record number of breakups. Glad to see that we can still contact IgoddessI when we need her though .

 

 

 

Just want to throw in that I'm in the same boat as all you guys. Break ups suck. But I find consoloation on this thread. I'm not alone in being alone. We still got each other right? If only we could all go out together irl...

 

 

 

Going back from what I remember...

 

FunPhish - get rid of her. She's only going to cause you pain if she ends up with Mr. Big Shot football player.

 

Dungeonal - Same damn thing buddy...relationships just suck sometimes.

 

and there was another poor guy who's first girl dumped him for being too different in real life.

 

 

 

That's a serious issue that you are going to have to work on. Being two diffrent people can eaily repel good relationships, so your going to have to decide who you are, which is a very strenuous process. But we're here for you :)

Ok guys, this is going to sound weird, but whatever.

 

 

 

There's a girl I met on summer camp that actually goes to my school too. We're good friends, and I hope there will be more later, but we'll see. All I know right now is that we're getting along fine and I feel comfortable with her:) A while back we went to the movies, we saw Brüno, maybe a bad choice, because it's very.. ,well, gay... No problem though, we had a lot of laughs and we had great time. Yesterday she gave me a gift she told me a while ago she'd make. I'll try to describe what she made. Basically it's an A4 with a large brüno in the middle with the words (in pink) Brüno 'heart'.

 

 

 

Anyway (not sure why I gave a complete description, but meh ) So yeah, she wanted me to put it in my agenda, which I did. Now I'm the proud owner of the probably most-gayest agenda on my school :D, which is cool, I don't really care lol :D

 

 

 

But now she wants me to make her something too (which she can put in hers). But I have absolutely zero inspiration. Help? :(

It really sucks being broken up with. I feel like [cabbage], and I miss her.=\

This is to no one particular and also every guy on these forums.

 

 

 

I'm a girl.

 

I date other girls.

 

As a girl, I know how I think.

 

As a girl, I know how girls you are dating think.

 

If you are a guy, you're screwed.

 

Sorry. :(

 

Wait what? You realize most girls date guys, right?

 

[Edit] OK, I get you, that's not really true though.

 

 

 

But I have absolutely zero inspiration. Help? :(

 

Do you have any creative skills?

It really sucks being broken up with. I feel like [cabbage], and I miss her.=\

 

 

 

*pats on back* There there. There there.

 

Well you have an excuse to look at other females now. I know it sucks for like a few days or weeks... Offer the same ol' advice. "plenty more fish in the sea"

 

 

 

If you don't mind me asking? Why, did you guys break up :o

It really sucks being broken up with. I feel like [cabbage], and I miss her.=\

 

 

 

*pats on back* There there. There there.

 

Well you have an excuse to look at other females now. I know it sucks for like a few days or weeks... Offer the same ol' advice. "plenty more fish in the sea"

 

 

 

If you don't mind me asking? Why, did you guys break up :o

 

It's kind of a long and complicated story, not in the mood for explaining it all right now, I'll post later.