I've completely changed the way i look at relationships now, and until she has a ring on her finger she's still fair game.

Which goes back to Veron's comment about being 'assfaced'. You're going to do it? Your choice. You're going to blame someone else for it? Puerile.

Everyone's partially responsible-- the girl, her bf, and the guy she cheats with. Personally I don't see anything wrong with hooking up with a girl in a relationship. But I'm not going to go out of my way to pick up a girl with a boyfriend. And I'd never hook up with a girl if I personally knew her bf either.

How is her boyfriend responsible for her cheating?

For boring her/being monogamous with her. Women don't usually cheat when they're in the honeymoon phase.

It wasn't her. Her friend called me over and kind of awkwardly forced us into a conversation. Later that night when she left, yeah she came to me. She could have left without saying anything, but she didn't ;)

That's the only reason i wouldnt have felt bad giving her my number.

The way i look at it, if i gave her my number knowing she had a boyfriend, it doesn't make me the [wagon]. If she texts me, it makes her boyfriend the [wagon] for not satisfying her.

I've completely changed the way i look at relationships now, and until she has a ring on her finger she's still fair game.

 

I don't see why a ring makes a difference. A marriage is (usually, stereotypically) a committed long term relationship, with the added benefit of being married in the eyes of the law and the legal differences that makes. I don't see how going after a married girl in a long term committed relationship is worse then going after an unmarried girl in a long term committed relationship.

What do you guys think about this:

 

I have been at pretty many parties, and almost every time there are some girls approaching and touching me. 'Till now none of them has been someone who I like or have feelings for. Usually when they start touching me I just leave the spot and go out for a pee. Sometimes they want to go for the real business, if you know what I mean, but I decline. Not because they're not good looking or sexy, but because I don't have any feelings for them.

 

I know this might sound pretty old-stylish, but I kinda wait for a girl who I have feelings for.

 

Now the question, will I die alone, or do girls these days like boys like me?

 

As I understand it, for people who do believe in first sight, such a thing is possible. However, I don't, which apparently means it can't happen to me, so my experience is limited to lust at first sight.

 

Moving on, if your looking for a girl you have feels for, and your not going to have sex first, then your probably in the wrong place. If your going to go down the path of conventional courting and getting to know each other, the bar has a poor ratio of like minded people, so your better off meeting girls in just about any other activity where you have more opportunity to hit it off first, and then start dating.

For boring her/being monogamous with her. Women don't usually cheat when they're in the honeymoon phase.

 

All of that is irrelevant. If she (or he) has made a commitment to monogamy, that's a commitment they should keep.

Auror, as much as I have understood, showing no interest makes them want you more... That's if I know anything about girls...

But I kinda get your point. I still have some hope and I know some girls that don't jump on a bandwagon so easily. Hell, I only know one instance when a dude was approached by a girl, not the other way around.

It might be something related to traditions and cultures here still, since my good friend was to the U, S and A for a year as an exchange student and he said that there girls approached him and his pics were actually taped on a girls wall and it was normal for people round there.

Back here, he is like nobody. Even though he always has like 3-4 girls around him, noone has ever displayed any romantic interest in him in here, whereas there he was like ([bleep], I can't remember the name of that actor girls in my class said was super-duper hot), and he looks worse than I do. And his sound is the most annoying thing ever... Oh, and he never had a girlfriend before that year in the America aswell and now he doesn't have one either. And he's been back for more than half a year.

Well, if nothing else, there's something to be said for being foreign and exotic. The fact that he's from a different country with a different culture makes him different and interesting.

He was in an international school and he was the top game in class with no effort.

It wasn't her. Her friend called me over and kind of awkwardly forced us into a conversation. Later that night when she left, yeah she came to me. She could have left without saying anything, but she didn't ;)

That's the only reason i wouldnt have felt bad giving her my number.

The way i look at it, if i gave her my number knowing she had a boyfriend, it doesn't make me the [wagon]. If she texts me, it makes her boyfriend the [wagon] for not satisfying her.

I've completely changed the way i look at relationships now, and until she has a ring on her finger she's still fair game.

Everyone's partially responsible-- the girl, her bf, and the guy she cheats with. Personally I don't see anything wrong with hooking up with a girl in a relationship. But I'm not going to go out of my way to pick up a girl with a boyfriend. And I'd never hook up with a girl if I personally knew her bf either.

For boring her/being monogamous with her. Women don't usually cheat when they're in the honeymoon phase.

 

 

 

This is how I [bleep]ed up by letting my ex leave my life. This is why I'd also never date or get involved with a girl who is not a very strong religious person. How could I ever date a person who believe that it is ok to sleep around as long as we weren't married (hell, sleep around even if we were married too)? The point of a relationship/marriage/courtship is to be with 1 (not 100) person.

 

Shame for you people taking when isn't rightfully theirs. You might want the food that the guy sitting at a table across the room has, but that doesn't mean that you have to go over there and eat his food when he gets up to go to the bathroom or something.

 

Maybe I'm an old fashion guy who will die alone, but at least I will have my dignity and pride when its all said and done.

 

 

 

 

Yeah... I haven't had a good day today.

Whatever makes you happy :P

I'd be happier single than married to a hoe.

You should take a break and carefully evaluate the logic/beliefs of that statement

I find it a bit ironic that you think you need a religious girl to find someone that won't cheat on you. There's this girl I know really well, who when we talked about the idea of polyamoury, had a very strong negative emotional reaction to it. On some level, I don't think she even understands why people aren't satisfied with a single person filling one's romantic/sexual needs. Similarly, I have no trouble imagining you dating a deeply religious girl who cheats on you in some moment of weakness. Religion won't get rid of a desire to cheat; it will only (maybe) change how one reacts to that desire.

 

The only difference between religious people and non-religious people is a belief system of some sort. At the end of the day, people are people with different needs and desires. Religion might change how they react to their needs and desires, but doesn't change them. A girl who will get bored in a committed relationship will still get bored if she's strongly religious.

 

Also, people aren't food. If I go after a married girl, and she sleeps with me, and then ends up getting divorced because she cheated, I'm not entirely to blame for the divorce. She is a thinking, human being who chose to cheat on her husband, not some prize I stole from a museum. In this hypothetical scenario, she still chose to cheat, even if I initiated every piece of the cheating relationship, she's still at fault for reciprocating.

 

(Note: I said that in this scenario I'm not entirely to blame. I'm still partially to blame. Significantly.)

You should take a break and carefully evaluate the logic/beliefs of that statement

I'd rather be single in that situation, too. I look for so many more things in a relationship than sex.

 

I understand you have your own way of doing things, and if it works for you, then great, but please don't proceed to inform those of us who are more conventional that our beliefs are wrong. That's a step too far.

I'm not criticising his beliefs because they're different from mine. I'm criticising his beliefs because they're completely irrational.

First off, I did make a poor analogy, but it was all that I was thinking of. (unless that food was calling your name)

 

Second, I'm a self-absorbed bastard, so I can live with myself being single although being with other people is very comforting nonetheless.

 

Thirdly, there is a difference between what I call a religious person and what most other people call a religious person. On top of that, I could never marry someone who isn't religious just because it would cause moral conflicts within myself.

 

Fourth-most, you aren't completely to blame if you make someone breakup/divorce their significant other, but you did play a role in it. (which you recognize) And I don't see how someone could feel good about that unless you absolutely hated both parties.

 

 

 

One more for Muggi... I'm sure that you have never made irrational choices in your life. So what I want to buy a sports car instead of a mid-sized car that gets better mileage, is cheaper, and will last longer. It is completely irrational to buy the sports car given the facts, but I'm still going to do it and people won't criticize me for it. (as long as it is within my means to do so)

One more for Muggi... I'm sure that you have never made irrational choices in your life. So what I want to buy a sports car instead of a mid-sized car that gets better mileage, is cheaper, and will last longer. It is completely irrational to buy the sports car given the facts, but I'm still going to do it and people won't criticize me for it. (as long as it is within my means to do so)

 

A few points:

 

1. Obviously I'm not 100% logical and obviously I don't make logical decisions 100% of the time. I'm only human. However, I DO make logical decisions far more than the average Joe, even if my emotions are making such decisions very difficult. This is why I'm consistently extremely happy.

 

2. By purchasing the expensive sports car, you waive your right to complain about any problems it brings which could've been avoided by purchasing the mid-sized car.

 

3. Intentionally making irrational decisions to grant you short-term gratification instead of long-term happiness is a habit that will cost you dearly down the road. If you insist on basing your major life decisions on such a thought process, you're playing with fire and essentially leaving your future to a dice roll in which the odds are NOT in your favor.

Mmm. I kinda agree with muggi on this one - taking "a break and carefully evaluate the logic/beliefs of that statement" isn't going to hurt. That being said, when you examine emotions deeply enough, you will eventually find a point where you can't look deeper. A point where you feel the way you feel because you feel the way you feel.

I more or less agree with muggi. In fact I think I know which models he learned a few of his things from ;)

 

Oh on a sidenote I has a (somewhat orthodox) jewish gf now. Im more or less a deist and a gentile so this should be interesting. Brought it because of the whole religious gf thing being discussed.

 

 

 

Verizon dash only two types of people cheat, either sociopaths or people who are very unhappy in a relationship. Imagine a relationship being worth a unit of currency called value tokens.

 

A shit relationship = 50VT

A good one = 500VT

a shit marriage = 50VT- 900VT

a good marriage = 5000VT

 

Now imagine people being worth value tokens

 

A neckbearded unemployed 'hacker' (read: scriptkiddie): 25VT

A college kid who is getting a decent degree and has good social skills: 160VT

A famous actor, rich, famous, beloved by all: 1000VT

 

 

These numbers are of course subjective to the individual but why people cheat is when someone whos value is higher then the relationship enters the picture. People who encounter this either cheat or break up with their former relationship partner. Its not personal its economics.

 

 

That said most people value a relationship as a whole beyond your natural attractiveness value. So as long as your both happy in a relationship cheating will not happen, which is why it never happens in the honeymoon phase of a relationship.

3. Intentionally making irrational decisions to grant you short-term gratification instead of long-term happiness is a habit that will cost you dearly down the road. If you insist on basing your major life decisions on such a thought process, you're playing with fire and essentially leaving your future to a dice roll in which the odds are NOT in your favor.

 

It seems to me that choosing someone with morals and ideals necessary to sustain a happy marriage over someone who puts their sexual gratification ahead of all else is the the definition of a rational decision based on granting long-term happiness.

You're failing to look at the bigger picture :P Even if you find your "ideal" partner, that isn't necessarily enough. Regardless of how well you cover your bases, you're still rolling the dice with your life by choosing to get married.

sexual gratification = happy marriage

 

dont take my word for it take Dr. Drew's.

 

 

 

That said I have been 'madly in love' with a girl then had sex and realized I wasn't that into her and I have been 'meh' about a girl and had sex and realized that I had a deeper attraction and would want to commit to her. If you haven't felt both you cant really understand what muggi is saying when he says that you dont know how much you like a girl till after you've had sex with her.

I'd be happier single than married to a hoe.

Oh, so you've met my ex-wife have you? :lol:

 

Seriously though, mono or poly relationships are a lifestyle choice that both partners have to believe in or it simply will not work regardless of whether you're married or not.

 

And some food for thought for those of you willing to go after someone already in a committed relationship: if they're willing to cheat with you, they'll be willing to cheat on you. ;)