Hay everybody, i got a question. Ok, its a long story, but me and this one girl have been hanging out for a while. We've gone on a few dates, i've taken her to the beach and whatnot. So far we've been clicking. However, i recently asked her to prom, but she said she wasn't decisive on whether she truly wanted to go. She says shes not saying no, she just isn't truly decisive on whether she wanted to go with me or not. I dont know what to take that as, I'm just playing it safe and taking it as a no :mellow:

What do yall think? should i just get another date or wait on her decision?

I'd say not to wait. I fell into this trap a while ago and it sucks from experience. I'd just say to ask confidently to go to prom.

 

Being indecisive is probably one of the worst things I've done.

Hay everybody, i got a question. Ok, its a long story, but me and this one girl have been hanging out for a while. We've gone on a few dates, i've taken her to the beach and whatnot. So far we've been clicking. However, i recently asked her to prom, but she said she wasn't decisive on whether she truly wanted to go. She says shes not saying no, she just isn't truly decisive on whether she wanted to go with me or not. I dont know what to take that as, I'm just playing it safe and taking it as a no :mellow:

What do yall think? should i just get another date or wait on her decision?

I'd say not to wait. I fell into this trap a while ago and it sucks from experience. I'd just say to ask confidently to go to prom.

 

Being indecisive is probably one of the worst things I've done.

 

I mean i already asked her, she's being the one indecisive :wall: She said shes not saying no, she just wants some time to decide i'm guessing. I mean prom is still a month away, but still, this kinda killed my mood, as i just decided to play it safe and take that answer as a no :(

I'm not the best at this advice, but I'd say to just give her a little bit to decide. Prom's seriously a month away, it's not right there.

I'd tell her you're finding another date if she doesn't come up with a decision. But it also depends on when prom is: a lot of girls, here anyways, got their dresses in the past couple weeks, whereas prom is still like three weeks away ... No, wait. Yes, three. Whereas the guys will get their tuxedos (if they do at all - our prom doesn't even have a [bleep]ing dress code and most kids wear cowboy boots, jeans and some button up shirt from hollister) the Friday before prom. Funny. I've had to help my friend circle with tuxedo stuff ... You be sure to get one, now. And remember that a narrow tie and vest (matched to your date's dress) is much more modern than a bowtie and cummerbund. And it's okay to forgo the vest entirely, but that only looks good if her dress is black or if you're dateless. Oh, and you oughtta wear suspenders. If your pants fit perfectly with nothing holding them up, it's fine to wear nothing, but if not, wear suspenders. The point of the vest is to hide them, similar with the cummerbund except it only hides the clips.

 

... What just happened? Um, tell her you need an answer.

Hay everybody, i got a question. Ok, its a long story, but me and this one girl have been hanging out for a while. We've gone on a few dates, i've taken her to the beach and whatnot. So far we've been clicking. However, i recently asked her to prom, but she said she wasn't decisive on whether she truly wanted to go. She says shes not saying no, she just isn't truly decisive on whether she wanted to go with me or not. I dont know what to take that as, I'm just playing it safe and taking it as a no :mellow:

What do yall think? should i just get another date or wait on her decision?

Well.. if you decide to wait, I'd give her like a week. That's MORE than enough time to make a decision like this. If you wait much longer than that, odds are you'll end up going alone because everyone has already been asked :P

 

I honestly see her saying "I need some time to think about it" as "I'm waiting for someone else to ask me.. if he doesn't ask me, I'll go with you because I'd rather not go alone. If he does ask me, I'd rather go with him than you." But I could be wrong. I don't see any other reason to need to think about it tbh.

Hay everybody, i got a question. Ok, its a long story, but me and this one girl have been hanging out for a while. We've gone on a few dates, i've taken her to the beach and whatnot. So far we've been clicking. However, i recently asked her to prom, but she said she wasn't decisive on whether she truly wanted to go. She says shes not saying no, she just isn't truly decisive on whether she wanted to go with me or not. I dont know what to take that as, I'm just playing it safe and taking it as a no :mellow:

What do yall think? should i just get another date or wait on her decision?

Well.. if you decide to wait, I'd give her like a week. That's MORE than enough time to make a decision like this. If you wait much longer than that, odds are you'll end up going alone because everyone has already been asked :P

 

I honestly see her saying "I need some time to think about it" as "I'm waiting for someone else to ask me.. if he doesn't ask me, I'll go with you because I'd rather not go alone. If he does ask me, I'd rather go with him than you." But I could be wrong. I don't see any other reason to need to think about it tbh.

 

haha the thing with my school is, alotta the guys are afraid to ask girls to dances and whatnot. Most usually go to dances by themselves. As far as I know, the majority of girls at my school are still dateless, its just that this particular girl is the one of the few that i think like me enough to go with me, but then again i really dont know. And I dont want to be pushy about it, since being pushy is a turnoff apparently.

I wouldn't call it being pushy, you just got [cabbage] to do, so you need an answer. She probably is pulling the [cabbage] tripsis was talking about, just waiting to see if some other guy will ask.

 

And I probably won't be going to prom with a date. An event like that, I don't want to be tied down attending to a date. Especially when the afterparties come into play.

I wouldn't call it being pushy, you just got [cabbage] to do, so you need an answer. She probably is pulling the [cabbage] tripsis was talking about, just waiting to see if some other guy will ask.

 

And I probably won't be going to prom with a date. An event like that, I don't want to be tied down attending to a date. Especially when the afterparties come into play.

 

word for word, that was exactly what she was saying, but that was before i asked her :\

Hay everybody, i got a question. Ok, its a long story, but me and this one girl have been hanging out for a while. We've gone on a few dates, i've taken her to the beach and whatnot. So far we've been clicking. However, i recently asked her to prom, but she said she wasn't decisive on whether she truly wanted to go. She says shes not saying no, she just isn't truly decisive on whether she wanted to go with me or not. I dont know what to take that as, I'm just playing it safe and taking it as a no

What do yall think? should i just get another date or wait on her decision?

 

That translates to "ask again later". I highly recommend taking Lent's route in more or less forcing her into a decision. Unfortunatly, the macho attitude has the risk of her choosing to not choose you. But she's a girl. And this is prom. Chance are in your favor.

 

And Lent, If I'm a 'Ted' you are absolutley a 'Barney' ;)

Quicky question. I'm a bit curious on how "attractive" a mysterious person would be. Like you talked but you don't reveal much, keeping some hidden. A mystery...

 

If that makes sense.

depends on how you do it. You have to maintain their interest. If you lose that, you just become boring. If your good at it, it can be very attrcative for whatever hormonal reason.

Quicky question. I'm a bit curious on how "attractive" a mysterious person would be. Like you talked but you don't reveal much, keeping some hidden. A mystery...

 

If that makes sense.

 

It can be very attractive, you just have to know how to do it, and not over-do it.

Exactly. If what you normally do works pretty well, just don't reveal your name unless directly asked. Having a good conversation with someone whose name you don't know and who will probably up and leave if they feel the inclination is a strange feeling - you sort of want to force them to keep talking and stay.

 

Oh, and rpg, my friends that convinced me to start watching that show told me I'm just like Barney. It went straight to my head, naturally.

Hay everybody, i got a question. Ok, its a long story, but me and this one girl have been hanging out for a while. We've gone on a few dates, i've taken her to the beach and whatnot. So far we've been clicking. However, i recently asked her to prom, but she said she wasn't decisive on whether she truly wanted to go. She says shes not saying no, she just isn't truly decisive on whether she wanted to go with me or not. I dont know what to take that as, I'm just playing it safe and taking it as a no

What do yall think? should i just get another date or wait on her decision?

 

That translates to "ask again later". I highly recommend taking Lent's route in more or less forcing her into a decision. Unfortunatly, the macho attitude has the risk of her choosing to not choose you. But she's a girl. And this is prom. Chance are in your favor.

 

And Lent, If I'm a 'Ted' you are absolutley a 'Barney' ;)

 

Hmmm I like your approach, thank you for the advice

Hay everybody, i got a question. Ok, its a long story, but me and this one girl have been hanging out for a while. We've gone on a few dates, i've taken her to the beach and whatnot. So far we've been clicking. However, i recently asked her to prom, but she said she wasn't decisive on whether she truly wanted to go. She says shes not saying no, she just isn't truly decisive on whether she wanted to go with me or not. I dont know what to take that as, I'm just playing it safe and taking it as a no

What do yall think? should i just get another date or wait on her decision?

 

That translates to "ask again later". I highly recommend taking Lent's route in more or less forcing her into a decision. Unfortunatly, the macho attitude has the risk of her choosing to not choose you. But she's a girl. And this is prom. Chance are in your favor.

 

And Lent, If I'm a 'Ted' you are absolutley a 'Barney' ;)

 

Hmmm I like your approach, thank you for the advice

 

Good luck, tell us how things went :).

Hay everybody, i got a question. Ok, its a long story, but me and this one girl have been hanging out for a while. We've gone on a few dates, i've taken her to the beach and whatnot. So far we've been clicking. However, i recently asked her to prom, but she said she wasn't decisive on whether she truly wanted to go. She says shes not saying no, she just isn't truly decisive on whether she wanted to go with me or not. I dont know what to take that as, I'm just playing it safe and taking it as a no

What do yall think? should i just get another date or wait on her decision?

 

That translates to "ask again later". I highly recommend taking Lent's route in more or less forcing her into a decision. Unfortunatly, the macho attitude has the risk of her choosing to not choose you. But she's a girl. And this is prom. Chance are in your favor.

 

And Lent, If I'm a 'Ted' you are absolutley a 'Barney' ;)

 

Hmmm I like your approach, thank you for the advice

 

Good luck, tell us how things went :).

 

Oh i will, it'll be a while though, and hopefully it doesn't have a sad ending

I've looked through my notes (yeah, I'm pathetic) of books, other resources; and I came to realize that even through the self-proclaimed love gurus of the world, the beyond all best advice I've received was from lurking this thread. If it's alright with you guys, I think I'm going to pop in as a regular in this thread giving a little advice and asking for advice on my own major issues. Hope you guys don't mind. My first thing:

 

Ever since this one point in my life when I was depressed (I let the verbal bullying of middle school and every failed attempt (they were all fails) at relationships be mixed into a lethal cocktail in my head). Ever since then, I've become a lot better. I still am upset with who I am, but that's why I'm working out, improving myself, and hanging out in this thread now. But there's an issue. I don't really feel anything anymore. I don't feel the heartfelt attraction when I like a girl (I'm afraid it's just lust all the time now =/), I don't ever feel really that happy, nor really that sad. It's like I'm numb to everything, even though I guess you could consider me normal. What's up with that?

You'll feel that for a while. It's more cynicism than anything. I still have my cynical days. You just have to start realizing, hot damn, I'm a badass! and go from there. When your words are actually backed up by your actions, you'll be on top of the world. But you will probably start to live a life of extremes. And you will experience very few emotions, hopefully they're just about all positive. Because, [bleep], it's pointless anyway, right? Might as well enjoy it.

 

Oh, and about the heartfelt attraction thing: that's good. It's you raising your standards. You'll still feel connections with people, and in some ways your relationships will be even stronger now, because you know how to actually handle them instead of just winging it. And there is still room for actual feelings. You'll just lose them quickly, because now you have a short attention span with people. Congratulations. The club kind of sucks, but most things suck even more.

 

Now it's time to start dressing better (Well, I don't know how you dress, but there's always room for improvement - unless you're me)!

I've looked through my notes (yeah, I'm pathetic) of books, other resources; and I came to realize that even through the self-proclaimed love gurus of the world, the beyond all best advice I've received was from lurking this thread. If it's alright with you guys, I think I'm going to pop in as a regular in this thread giving a little advice and asking for advice on my own major issues. Hope you guys don't mind. My first thing:

 

Ever since this one point in my life when I was depressed (I let the verbal bullying of middle school and every failed attempt (they were all fails) at relationships be mixed into a lethal cocktail in my head). Ever since then, I've become a lot better. I still am upset with who I am, but that's why I'm working out, improving myself, and hanging out in this thread now. But there's an issue. I don't really feel anything anymore. I don't feel the heartfelt attraction when I like a girl (I'm afraid it's just lust all the time now =/), I don't ever feel really that happy, nor really that sad. It's like I'm numb to everything, even though I guess you could consider me normal. What's up with that?

Pretty much everything in this post is happening to me, except the "numb" feeling goes away now and then when I get random bursts of confidence.

 

Wait... why do I get random bursts of confidence? :blink:

I've looked through my notes (yeah, I'm pathetic) of books, other resources; and I came to realize that even through the self-proclaimed love gurus of the world, the beyond all best advice I've received was from lurking this thread. If it's alright with you guys, I think I'm going to pop in as a regular in this thread giving a little advice and asking for advice on my own major issues. Hope you guys don't mind. My first thing:

 

Ever since this one point in my life when I was depressed (I let the verbal bullying of middle school and every failed attempt (they were all fails) at relationships be mixed into a lethal cocktail in my head). Ever since then, I've become a lot better. I still am upset with who I am, but that's why I'm working out, improving myself, and hanging out in this thread now. But there's an issue. I don't really feel anything anymore. I don't feel the heartfelt attraction when I like a girl (I'm afraid it's just lust all the time now =/), I don't ever feel really that happy, nor really that sad. It's like I'm numb to everything, even though I guess you could consider me normal. What's up with that?

Pretty much everything in this post is happening to me, except the "numb" feeling goes away now and then when I get random bursts of confidence.

 

Wait... why do I get random bursts of confidence?

 

I rmemeber IamDan had a very similiar post a few months ago. I think we've all been there, but eventually we progress to be more like Lent. Which is awesome in most ways. I could elaborate, but honeslty Lent's post pretty much covered it. All iI can add is that you're not alone, and it's aparently a rather common occurance. I call it "evolution of the geek". We go from the made fun of depressed type, to the numb type, to the I am the [bleep]ing man type. And that's a good direction to go as far as I'm concerned :thumbup:

Not me. Even in this numbness phase, I hate everyday life. I apparently 'over-analyze' everything. And even right now, it just seems like I can't trust anyone. I don't know if it's because all of my friends are douschebags or what. But I've really been so torn apart in my life. Those losers.

Not me. Even in this numbness phase, I hate everyday life. I apparently 'over-analyze' everything. And even right now, it just seems like I can't trust anyone. I don't know if it's because all of my friends are douschebags or what. But I've really been so torn apart in my life. Those losers.

 

They aren't your friends then.

 

On the side note, I hate when people say "oh I have no friends, nobody likes me, etc" but avoid any type of social interaction. There's this dude in one of my classes, and every time I say hi to him, he tries to look as far into the distance as possible, although I KNOW he saw me. He's one of those people who hang out by themselves, and probably writes essays on how he hates life because his 'friends' are douchebags and how nobody wants to talk to him because of x and y.

That's not me, I try everyday. I just feel like everyone's out to get me (and I guess that's a flaw of mine too, so instead of giving it a rational reason it just leads back into more negativity for me to feed on). I'll go to give a kid advice and then he'll go around and then apparently I'm doing it for selfish reasons. I go to a concert and everyone asks as if I'm a burden.

 

That stuff doesn't really matter at all, I'm just venting. My 'friend' tells me that I have issues in which I over-react and over-analyze what people do, and that's what makes me "act like a 3 year old all the time".

That's not me, I try everyday. I just feel like everyone's out to get me (and I guess that's a flaw of mine too, so instead of giving it a rational reason it just leads back into more negativity for me to feed on). I'll go to give a kid advice and then he'll go around and then apparently I'm doing it for selfish reasons. I go to a concert and everyone asks as if I'm a burden.

 

That stuff doesn't really matter at all, I'm just venting. My 'friend' tells me that I have issues in which I over-react and over-analyze what people do, and that's what makes me "act like a 3 year old all the time".

Maybe you should lighten up a little. It seems to me like your friends are kind of annoyed that you take things a little too seriously.

 

On the side note, I hate when people say "oh I have no friends, nobody likes me, etc" but avoid any type of social interaction. There's this dude in one of my classes, and every time I say hi to him, he tries to look as far into the distance as possible, although I KNOW he saw me. He's one of those people who hang out by themselves, and probably writes essays on how he hates life because his 'friends' are douchebags and how nobody wants to talk to him because of x and y.

Yeah, I hate that too. They complain about things that they can fix, but refuse to do anything about it.

what happened to that super self improvement attitude you posted a few pages back? Don't give up on that. Sounds like you could use the morale boost. Don't sweat the numbness, or you're pesky social associates. Life is a game, enjoy it, cause no one gets out alive anyway. lighten up, have some fun. Sometimes "douchey friends" is a symptom of being too judgemental. Or condescending. Which for a while, I had problems with. i feel like I've gotten better, but I still do it from time to time. it's just an idiosyncracy of mine that people have to deal with. When they don't deal with it, it makes them act "douchey". But sometimes you have to reaize and take responsibility for the fact that it's not always their problem. You could be inadvertantly antagonizing them into such behavior.

 

But hey. Tell you what. This summer. Do your self improvement thing. Come back next semester a new person, with anew leaf and all that jazz. Show the world who's boss, and make some new friends. You don't have to get rid of your old ones if you don't want, but make some new ones just to give it a go. No shame in socialization. The numbness will go away when you become more satisfied with yourself. Trust me.