Jump to content
Da_Latios

"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

Recommended Posts

muggi, that was the best contribution of this thread so far :razz:


2257AD.TUMBLR.COM

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm going to ask a girl out for the first time. Scared as hell.

 

She has pretty eyes, is interested in European cars and video games like I am, and she seems to be interested in me.

 

Does anybody have tips to reduce nervousness and to get over the barrier of "Oh God, I can't do it"?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

is interested in European cars and video games like I am, and she seems to be interested in me.

 

 

...I'm clearly living in the wrong country...


Popoto.~<3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Okay, thank you, yeah I'm not exactly sure how long I'll spend in Germany but she's also learning to speak English and we both want to travel after school so i think it'd be really cool to travel the world with her or something. That being said, she didn't reply to my last message and I don't know why, or what to do. Am I supposed to message her again?

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umDr0mPuyQc

Yeah okay... Fair enough, I'll admit I probably deserved that, ha.

i'd still like to know why though.


Mightymuddy.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah okay... Fair enough, I'll admit I probably deserved that, ha.

i'd still like to know why though.

Don't chase her like a puppy. If she doesn't come to you then she probably isn't interested.

 

I'm going to ask a girl out for the first time. Scared as hell.

 

She has pretty eyes, is interested in European cars and video games like I am, and she seems to be interested in me.

 

Does anybody have tips to reduce nervousness and to get over the barrier of "Oh God, I can't do it"?

 

Think of it as escalating naturally. Physically, emotionally and location/logistics. If you stop escalating then the window of opportunity closes. If you do and she doesn't go for it, it doesn't necessarily mean it's all over. It may, but she will at least respect you for having the balls to do it.

 

It's been covered heaps of times here on how to do it. My favourite is still inviting her to something that you are doing anyway, can take multiple paths, and is low pressure - a party, or helping you shop for a present at a mall for example.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Confirm/Deny: 75% of acquiring sex/dates/girlfriend is confidence.


PM me for fitocracy invite

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@MudRune

 

Seems like a bad gamble... Keep in touch, and see what grows it out of it, but don't hold your breath.

 

reiterating this for truth. A lot can happen over that much time and distance. Yeah it'd be awesome, but realize it's not the most likely thing in the world.

 

@Nomrombom

 

Confirmed.


Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My favourite is still inviting her to something that you are doing anyway, can take multiple paths, and is low pressure - a party

 

And what if you NEVER get invited to parties, NEVER hear of them, you're friends NEVER have them or even go to them. what then? sorry if im being aggressive I've had a [bleep] of a night, im highly pissed off and frustrated at the 100% NON EXISTENT of my social life because none of my friends have or go to parties, or dont invite me, or when they do, the only single girl there is a village bicycle with insane extra emotion baggage and suddenly the parties ruined and you've once more met NO ONE with your friends never ever ever ever helping you in any social situation including talking, meeting people, or even hooking up which has so far happened to E V E R Y friend of mine, but me.

 

Yes, Im mad.


Popoto.~<3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't understand where the arbitrary 75% came from

Answered your own question. Point is it's not 100%.


Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My favourite is still inviting her to something that you are doing anyway, can take multiple paths, and is low pressure - a party

 

And what if you NEVER get invited to parties, NEVER hear of them, you're friends NEVER have them or even go to them. what then? sorry if im being aggressive I've had a [bleep] of a night, im highly pissed off and frustrated at the 100% NON EXISTENT of my social life because none of my friends have or go to parties, or dont invite me, or when they do, the only single girl there is a village bicycle with insane extra emotion baggage and suddenly the parties ruined and you've once more met NO ONE with your friends never ever ever ever helping you in any social situation including talking, meeting people, or even hooking up which has so far happened to E V E R Y friend of mine, but me.

 

Yes, Im mad.

 

You're responsible for everything you just complained about. If it upsets you that much, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to change anything.


77yLQy8.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My favourite is still inviting her to something that you are doing anyway, can take multiple paths, and is low pressure - a party

 

And what if you NEVER get invited to parties, NEVER hear of them, you're friends NEVER have them or even go to them. what then? sorry if im being aggressive I've had a [bleep] of a night, im highly pissed off and frustrated at the 100% NON EXISTENT of my social life because none of my friends have or go to parties, or dont invite me, or when they do, the only single girl there is a village bicycle with insane extra emotion baggage and suddenly the parties ruined and you've once more met NO ONE with your friends never ever ever ever helping you in any social situation including talking, meeting people, or even hooking up which has so far happened to E V E R Y friend of mine, but me.

 

Yes, Im mad.

 

Why do you depend on your friends so much?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My favourite is still inviting her to something that you are doing anyway, can take multiple paths, and is low pressure - a party

 

And what if you NEVER get invited to parties, NEVER hear of them, you're friends NEVER have them or even go to them. what then? sorry if im being aggressive I've had a [bleep] of a night, im highly pissed off and frustrated at the 100% NON EXISTENT of my social life because none of my friends have or go to parties, or dont invite me, or when they do, the only single girl there is a village bicycle with insane extra emotion baggage and suddenly the parties ruined and you've once more met NO ONE with your friends never ever ever ever helping you in any social situation including talking, meeting people, or even hooking up which has so far happened to E V E R Y friend of mine, but me.

 

Yes, Im mad.

 

Do you think we're the ones who chooses your social circles? Do you honestly think that you can make things better by not doing anything about it? Is it really that difficult to try and change things yourself? You're the sole cause of the issues you complain about, and you're the only one who can solve it.

 

There is a reason why people are so intolerant of your complaining; you don't listen to advice, and you don't act on it when you do. It's your responsibility, and therefore you're the one who has to address these issues. There's no use in pretending that it's everyone else's fault. I can be relatively certain that some people in your life probably do help you, but you're unwilling to listen/accept the assistance. I can only speculate, but judging on the basis of your posts, it's not an implausible idea - but I digress.

 

If you truly want a girlfriend/boyfriend to hook up with, then take the step to talk to a girl/boy. Your dependency on your supposed 'friends' is only hurting you - it's unlikely that you'll ever build the self-confidence if you're going to require someone holding your hand all the way. Reconsidering your lack of social skills, and social interaction - it may not be so wise. It's a good idea to start by understanding the mentality of your desired potential partners, and the attributes/traits that they like/dislike. Reflect on these attributes, and try to minimize the undesirable traits you currently have first. Work onwards from there.

 

You're trying to take big leaps against a fast moving river and it's only knocking you back. Have some tenacity; it'll pay off in the end.

 

EDIT: I like how you consider a social life to be partying and getting drunk with 'friends'. I think you need to revise your understanding of some of these terms.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Listen to mug and Skeptic Tim. :thumbup:

 

 

And good luck with whatever you decide to do.


PM me for fitocracy invite

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey Tim, I am nearly the same with you, I don't get invited to parties anymore either. Never had a gf or gotten further of first base with a girl either. But I at least know what is wrong with me. I am too annoying and shy when it comes to doing something or expressing feelings. I have never called a girl "beautiful" and the shame's with me. But I am afraid of the rejection and I don't whine everywhere about it. At least now I am going to go on competitions with the school choir with pretty girls who don't know me that well yet so I still have some options. Get yourself a hobby or something, cooking is a great example. If you have any spare money, take classes in it. You can only get good stuff out of it; if you don't meet nice chicks you'll at least learn how to cook better and more efficiently.


t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't usually get invited to partys either, but generally if I see my social life slacking, it's as easy as reconnecting with an old friend, and re-immersing myself in a social environment. While you [tim] may not have many friends you wish to reconnect with, there are other's like you and the attitude you need to have is one that would attract other's like yourself - alienated by those they called friends. Talk to people you normally wouldn't. Indulge in conversation you normally thought useless. Do what it takes to broaden your social horizons.

 

I find it fundamentally odd in your [@Tim] case that you don't have a set group of chill people you can find a home with. I truly feel once you fulfill that need in your life, everything else will start to come together.


Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Unless the project in question is entirely reliant on luck (it rarely is), blaming its failure on circumstances should only be an option if it's not your own failure. This isn't a question of whether you'd be right or wrong; it's a question of which approach will allow you to succeed. Either you stop wanting things to work out, or you do something about it. Complaining about your nervous system, your relatives, the shape of your nose, the country you're in, etc. will get you nowhere.


Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Looks like this thread's going through another frozen period till someone asks the usual "how do I get this girl to like me" question...

 

Anyways, I was having fun debating polyamory last week lol. So to those of you who still favor monogamy-- can you please tell me why you want to be in a long-term (3+ years) monogamous relationship?


77yLQy8.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I enjoy spending time with just Ellen. Getting to know someone deeply isn't something that really ends, ever, as such. That's why, for me.


2257AD.TUMBLR.COM

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've never been in a real relationship, but I support monogamy and polygamy. It's pants-on-head retarded that it's illegal; who are we to say how many people can be involved in one relationship?

 

Is it legal anywhere?

 

edit: retarded isn't censored anymore :thumbup:


PM me for fitocracy invite

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't get sick of it. I don't want to have sex with other people - I have no desire to. My boyfriend is my best friend (who I'm also sexually attracted to). I never get tired of being around him. He's one of the few people who completely gets me and I love every single second I spend with him. I can't even find regular friends that I enjoy spending time with like I do with my boyfriend. Just thinking of the enjoyable and funny moments we've shared together makes me smile.

 

I'm not a sexually reserved person, but I can't imagine even wanting to have sex with someone other than my boyfriend. One of the reasons I enjoy it with my boyfriend is because we love and care about each other and that drives us to want to please the other person. I enjoy doing things with him that I never thought I'd enjoy in the past. I can't imagine feeling that way about some random guy.


Posted Image

 

- 99 fletching | 99 thieving | 99 construction | 99 herblore | 99 smithing | 99 woodcutting -

- 99 runecrafting - 99 prayer - 125 combat - 95 farming -

- Blog - DeviantART - Book Reviews & Blog

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Muggi, we're all conditioned differently and we all inherit different genes. This is a little bit like arguing over the beauty of a painting with a colorblind person.


Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've stayed out of the argument because I've seen no point in it.

 

I've got a question though - does polygamous relationships offer any social benefits over a monogamous relationship? If so, does it outweigh the potential drawbacks? Does it have to be imposed on those who aren't comfortable with the idea of polygamous relationships?

 

A problem I see with polygamy is the fact that there's a problem regarding family issues, and a lack of commitment could prove deleterious in the long term (especially if several partners get pregnant simultaneously, unexpectedly).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've stayed out of the argument because I've seen no point in it.

 

I've got a question though - does polygamous relationships offer any social benefits over a monogamous relationship? If so, does it outweigh the potential drawbacks? Does it have to be imposed on those who aren't comfortable with the idea of polygamous relationships?

 

A problem I see with polygamy is the fact that there's a problem regarding family issues, and a lack of commitment could prove deleterious in the long term (especially if several partners get pregnant simultaneously, unexpectedly).

 

You also have to deal with strait up jealousy. Polygamy goes beyond an open relationship where as I understand it your still only supposed to have an emotional bond with on other. If you have multiple emotional bonds, you are going to have a favorite. Normally your favorite is the one you marry, as opposed to marrying a friend.

 

Has anyone here ever been in a trio friendship (3 really good friends). From my experience with them (been in more than one, which should tell you something right there), and my observations of them in other people, it is inevitable again that two of the three friends will form a better friendship with each other than with the third, and as time goes on the third person will resent the other two for it, and eventually the friendships start to fall apart (either you become a duo and a solo, or your become three solos). You see the same thing in any odd numbered relationship, since in a group of 5 or 7 say, people still form up into pairs, and one person is left over.

 

Standard polygamy is one man with multiple wives, but the reverse suffers the same problem. There can only be one top position for whichever side has the multiples, and if the lesser partners don't grow to resent the single gender, you can be very sure they will at least grow to hate each other. If you try to fix it with say 2 wives and 2 husbands, then congratulations. Your marriage now has all the intimacy of a perpetual double date. This would still work a lot better though, since you couple form into couples and do different things, even if you didn't always pair up the same way. Unless both people on either side prefer the same person on the other side, in which case you still have an extra.

 

And I'm not refering only to the bed, I'm talking about emotional intimacy as well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.