"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[RpgGamer]

I want Muggi's explanation of manhood now methinks

 

It's very subjective and not really possible to concretely define. While I don't necessarily agree with every item on the list, I agree with most of this article here: http://blackdragonbl...ern-alpha-male/

 

Basically it's not a case of "alpha" or "beta." Rather, it's more of a spectrum/range. With his specifics aside, I pretty much agree that it's good for every man to strive to become happy, free, confident, and masculine.

 

Hope that gives you an idea of my thoughts on the matter.

 

That article reeks of patriarchal stereotyping haha but I see where you're coming from at least.

 

I see manhood as a series of achievements held at high value-standard for the community said man is appealing to. You provide for a family? Man points. You sacrifice yourself for the greater good of your family/bretheren/community? man points. You create a family and uphold it? man points. You take responsibility - the more you have, the more man points. From a misogynistic standpoint, one could say that "Achieving" a woman could award you man points, which easily translates into this thread's common beliefs in getting the girl makes you more of a man. Same concept.

[obfuscator]

Long-term monogamy doesn't pay off tremendously in the end-- at least, not enough to justify the "hard work" put into it. Do you realize that if we're still both talking about monogamy here, you're also implying that maintaining a long-term monogamous relationship is "hard work?" Shouldn't relationships be fun, carefree, and exciting? Without any work?

 

 

No, they shouldn't be. Life isn't always fun, carefree, and exciting.

 

Once again - you think monogamy doesn't pay off tremendously. Personally, I think having a lifelong companion and being the patriarch of a family is a much more tremendous reward than the fleeting instant gratification of polyamory.

[RpgGamer]

The joy of knowing you accomplished something for yourself [especially as an assertion of independence] is a more gratifying experience than having stuff handed to you. No matter how hard you work for it

[muggiwhplar]

I think you're overestimating the amount of happiness you gain from accomplishing goals/getting what you want.

[Assume Nothing]

Could we stop projecting our personal levels of satisfaction achieved through polyamorous/monogamous relationships? It's a subjective value judgement that's highly dependent on individual circumstances and such.

 

It's fallacious to claim that all monogamous relationships (long-term) would achieve less overall happiness/satisfaction than long-term polyamorous relationships, simply because it's dependent on our personal philosophies/moral values.

[muggiwhplar]

Could we stop projecting our personal levels of satisfaction achieved through polyamorous/monogamous relationships? It's a subjective value judgement that's highly dependent on individual circumstances and such.

 

It's fallacious to claim that all monogamous relationships (long-term) would achieve less overall happiness/satisfaction than long-term polyamorous relationships, simply because it's dependent on our personal philosophies/moral values.

 

There's many more variables than that-- which is what the past several pages of this thread have been about.

[Riku3220]

Muggi, what do you plan to do if you have a child or get an STI?

[Estonian dude]

Ok, a bit OT here, but can anyone refer me to the pages where that someone had masses of great flirting tips and techniques and information? Who made like blog posts on it or something? Since I really don't want to browse through 500+ pages...

[muggiwhplar]

Ok, a bit OT here, but can anyone refer me to the pages where that someone had masses of great flirting tips and techniques and information? Who made like blog posts on it or something? Since I really don't want to browse through 500+ pages...

 

I think it's funny how it's gotten to the point where asking "normal" legitimate advice could be considered off-topic :P

 

Anyways, here ya go: http://forum.tip.it/user/146021-iamdan/

[Estonian dude]

Well, you are so deeply into this monogamy/polygamy thing atm...

But really, I still have no idea as when a girl likes me or even considers me a future proposition...

[RpgGamer]

Well, you are so deeply into this monogamy/polygamy thing atm...

But really, I still have no idea as when a girl likes me or even considers me a future proposition...

 

She likes [or doesn't] within a minute of meeting you. To counter that, takes effort and luck [and flirting etc]

 

Easiest to assume all girls want you like crazy and take those that actually do

[miracleman58]

Well, you are so deeply into this monogamy/polygamy thing atm...

But really, I still have no idea as when a girl likes me or even considers me a future proposition...

 

If they touch you or draw your attention to thier assets, like a slight lip lick(dead give away and wont happen much) or moving their hair so you can see thier face and so on.

If you are talking with them and they can keep eye contact or are focusing on you(dont seem distracted)

In conversation if they start telling you personal stuff thats normally a good sign aswell.

 

Somethings that should give you an idea they like you.

[MuffinMaddy]

Just a small question,

 

How much is too much? Like contact wise, I generally have conversations with Oliver (the guy I like) by texting like once a week and our conversations are like 5 texts long, just general questions like "How has your week been going?" Is what we chat about, and we occasionally facebook chat eachother, but how much is too much contact? I don't really want him to suspect that I'm treating him any differently, or others to find out that I like him unless I tell them, I want to spend more time as a normal friend to him so I can find out more about his character and personality etc before I follow everything through.

 

Thanks

[Surprises]

Just a small question,

 

How much is too much? Like contact wise, I generally have conversations with Oliver (the guy I like) by texting like once a week and our conversations are like 5 texts long, just general questions like "How has your week been going?" Is what we chat about, and we occasionally facebook chat eachother, but how much is too much contact? I don't really want him to suspect that I'm treating him any differently, or others to find out that I like him unless I tell them, I want to spend more time as a normal friend to him so I can find out more about his character and personality etc before I follow everything through.

 

Thanks

 

There is no definitive answer it is all down to what is natural to the individual relationship.

 

With your conversation that lasts around 5 text does it end because you run out of things to say or are you to scared to reveal too much now? If you have more things to say just talk to him more but introduce it gradually. Don't suddenly go full out trying to make conversation for hours, just gradually build it up over a period of time so it looks more natural and less forced and artificial. People are always going to assume things if they see or hear about you talking to him, it always comes with this sort of thing and there is no avoiding it.

[Kalphite]

Massive wall of text forthcoming.

 

Alright, so new girl...ish. Ish because, well, the history's a bit more complicated. Well basically the girl (Stacey) is somebody I've nearly dated in the past, but that was over two years ago. it didn't end up happening back then because...well, a bunch of awkwardness on my part, being a sophomore and all. However, I found out about a year afterward that she had actually been interested in me throughout that whole ordeal. Just, both of us were awkward back then; it was bound to not work. We almost started again the summer after that, but then once we hung out that time we realized that still wasn't quite going to work - we just didn't have enough to talk about at that point.

 

Well, like I said, that was two years ago; it's my senior year now. I didn't really talk to her all that much Junior year, but this year she's been in my drama class and all of the plays/competitions we've done since then. Around November I started talking to her again, and I started to kind of like her again; however I ignored it because she had a boyfriend at the time, so I started looking to other girls. Later on, in about December, I found out she was never actually interested in the guy she was dating - she was caught off guard and was too afraid to hurt his feelings to say no/break up with him. Which, I'll admit, seemed really strange, but whatever.

 

In mid-January her boyfriend finally broke up with her, around the same time I was posting about the last girl here. After my attempt with her fizzled out though, I started realizing that Stacey was available again...and of course I started liking her. We had started another play up by this time with rehearsals every day, and we started talking a lot more again at those. I never really texted her or anything, but I didn't really feel like I needed to with how much I see her anyways (3 hour rehearsals and drama class which is just a blowoff where us drama people can just hang out essentially, so I'd talk to her there too). At first I tried to ignore it again, figuring I had missed my shot back in tenth grade, but then I realized she'd been acting a bit...different, I can't really describe it as it was slight. But there was just something in the way she'd talk to me when it was just us that I noticed (sorry about how horribly vague that is).

 

Well, this past weekend we were at a competition for drama, and for the first night we were there we were all just hanging out in the hotel, as the competition didn't start until the next day. Because both of us were singing leads, we weren't allowed to approach the pool, so she invited me up to her room to hang out with her and a couple other people. We all had a lot of fun that night, and when we eventually had to go back to our own rooms, I talked to one of my closer friends about the situation (the friend, Sam, is one of her best friends also), and basically told her that I liked Stacey again.

 

Well come today that friend, Sam, was talking to me in English, and told me she had talked to Stacey earlier that day and Stacey had told her that she liked me. When Sam asked how much, she said like "a five or six out of ten". apparently After that though, Sam tried talking her out of it, even though she knew I was into her, saying that she wasn't mature enough for a relationship yet going by how she handled her two previous ones (both cases where she dated guys she didn't really like because she was afraid to hurt them, and both of which ended because of that). Sam then told me all of this, and said she was sorry but she cared about me too much to let Stacey hurt me like she was bound to after her last two. I basically told Sam after that that I appreciated her concern, but it wasn't really her place to say that and that I was going to try anyways, and if it didn't work out then I'd learn the hard way and she could say she told me so. She then started apologizing for caring too much and getting into other people's business, and I tried calming her down and said it was fine and that i would have done the same thing in her situation, but I was still going to try and date her, regardless of that.

 

Which brings me to...this. Going to start talking to her more now, and she's hanging out with me and some of our mutual friends Friday for a friend's band's concert and the next Saturday for a cast party I'm throwing. So I think I'm doing pretty well, but I guess my question is, am I right in doing this? Should I be taking more advice from Sam or am I justified in wanting to try it regardless? I think that if I were to date Stacey it would go better than those last two attempts because she actually likes me, unlike those two. However, that could just be my naivete and attraction to her speaking. So... what should I do?

[RpgGamer]

relationships [plutonic or romantic] should form naturally. playing with the nature of them is what causes the stupidity of drama and other nonsense. If you want to talk to him more than you do - then do it.

[RpgGamer]

Massive wall of text forthcoming.

 

Alright, so new girl...ish. Ish because, well, the history's a bit more complicated. Well basically the girl (Stacey) is somebody I've nearly dated in the past, but that was over two years ago. it didn't end up happening back then because...well, a bunch of awkwardness on my part, being a sophomore and all. However, I found out about a year afterward that she had actually been interested in me throughout that whole ordeal. Just, both of us were awkward back then; it was bound to not work. We almost started again the summer after that, but then once we hung out that time we realized that still wasn't quite going to work - we just didn't have enough to talk about at that point.

 

Well, like I said, that was two years ago; it's my senior year now. I didn't really talk to her all that much Junior year, but this year she's been in my drama class and all of the plays/competitions we've done since then. Around November I started talking to her again, and I started to kind of like her again; however I ignored it because she had a boyfriend at the time, so I started looking to other girls. Later on, in about December, I found out she was never actually interested in the guy she was dating - she was caught off guard and was too afraid to hurt his feelings to say no/break up with him. Which, I'll admit, seemed really strange, but whatever.

 

In mid-January her boyfriend finally broke up with her, around the same time I was posting about the last girl here. After my attempt with her fizzled out though, I started realizing that Stacey was available again...and of course I started liking her. We had started another play up by this time with rehearsals every day, and we started talking a lot more again at those. I never really texted her or anything, but I didn't really feel like I needed to with how much I see her anyways (3 hour rehearsals and drama class which is just a blowoff where us drama people can just hang out essentially, so I'd talk to her there too). At first I tried to ignore it again, figuring I had missed my shot back in tenth grade, but then I realized she'd been acting a bit...different, I can't really describe it as it was slight. But there was just something in the way she'd talk to me when it was just us that I noticed (sorry about how horribly vague that is).

 

Well, this past weekend we were at a competition for drama, and for the first night we were there we were all just hanging out in the hotel, as the competition didn't start until the next day. Because both of us were singing leads, we weren't allowed to approach the pool, so she invited me up to her room to hang out with her and a couple other people. We all had a lot of fun that night, and when we eventually had to go back to our own rooms, I talked to one of my closer friends about the situation (the friend, Sam, is one of her best friends also), and basically told her that I liked Stacey again.

 

Well come today that friend, Sam, was talking to me in English, and told me she had talked to Stacey earlier that day and Stacey had told her that she liked me. When Sam asked how much, she said like "a five or six out of ten". apparently After that though, Sam tried talking her out of it, even though she knew I was into her, saying that she wasn't mature enough for a relationship yet going by how she handled her two previous ones (both cases where she dated guys she didn't really like because she was afraid to hurt them, and both of which ended because of that). Sam then told me all of this, and said she was sorry but she cared about me too much to let Stacey hurt me like she was bound to after her last two. I basically told Sam after that that I appreciated her concern, but it wasn't really her place to say that and that I was going to try anyways, and if it didn't work out then I'd learn the hard way and she could say she told me so. She then started apologizing for caring too much and getting into other people's business, and I tried calming her down and said it was fine and that i would have done the same thing in her situation, but I was still going to try and date her, regardless of that.

 

Which brings me to...this. Going to start talking to her more now, and she's hanging out with me and some of our mutual friends Friday for a friend's band's concert and the next Saturday for a cast party I'm throwing. So I think I'm doing pretty well, but I guess my question is, am I right in doing this? Should I be taking more advice from Sam or am I justified in wanting to try it regardless? I think that if I were to date Stacey it would go better than those last two attempts because she actually likes me, unlike those two. However, that could just be my naivete and attraction to her speaking. So... what should I do?

 

Oh just friggin do it. You already made your stand, don't second guess it.

[tripsis]

Massive wall of text forthcoming.

 

Alright, so new girl...ish. Ish because, well, the history's a bit more complicated. Well basically the girl (Stacey) is somebody I've nearly dated in the past, but that was over two years ago. it didn't end up happening back then because...well, a bunch of awkwardness on my part, being a sophomore and all. However, I found out about a year afterward that she had actually been interested in me throughout that whole ordeal. Just, both of us were awkward back then; it was bound to not work. We almost started again the summer after that, but then once we hung out that time we realized that still wasn't quite going to work - we just didn't have enough to talk about at that point.

 

Well, like I said, that was two years ago; it's my senior year now. I didn't really talk to her all that much Junior year, but this year she's been in my drama class and all of the plays/competitions we've done since then. Around November I started talking to her again, and I started to kind of like her again; however I ignored it because she had a boyfriend at the time, so I started looking to other girls. Later on, in about December, I found out she was never actually interested in the guy she was dating - she was caught off guard and was too afraid to hurt his feelings to say no/break up with him. Which, I'll admit, seemed really strange, but whatever.

 

In mid-January her boyfriend finally broke up with her, around the same time I was posting about the last girl here. After my attempt with her fizzled out though, I started realizing that Stacey was available again...and of course I started liking her. We had started another play up by this time with rehearsals every day, and we started talking a lot more again at those. I never really texted her or anything, but I didn't really feel like I needed to with how much I see her anyways (3 hour rehearsals and drama class which is just a blowoff where us drama people can just hang out essentially, so I'd talk to her there too). At first I tried to ignore it again, figuring I had missed my shot back in tenth grade, but then I realized she'd been acting a bit...different, I can't really describe it as it was slight. But there was just something in the way she'd talk to me when it was just us that I noticed (sorry about how horribly vague that is).

 

Well, this past weekend we were at a competition for drama, and for the first night we were there we were all just hanging out in the hotel, as the competition didn't start until the next day. Because both of us were singing leads, we weren't allowed to approach the pool, so she invited me up to her room to hang out with her and a couple other people. We all had a lot of fun that night, and when we eventually had to go back to our own rooms, I talked to one of my closer friends about the situation (the friend, Sam, is one of her best friends also), and basically told her that I liked Stacey again.

 

Well come today that friend, Sam, was talking to me in English, and told me she had talked to Stacey earlier that day and Stacey had told her that she liked me. When Sam asked how much, she said like "a five or six out of ten". apparently After that though, Sam tried talking her out of it, even though she knew I was into her, saying that she wasn't mature enough for a relationship yet going by how she handled her two previous ones (both cases where she dated guys she didn't really like because she was afraid to hurt them, and both of which ended because of that). Sam then told me all of this, and said she was sorry but she cared about me too much to let Stacey hurt me like she was bound to after her last two. I basically told Sam after that that I appreciated her concern, but it wasn't really her place to say that and that I was going to try anyways, and if it didn't work out then I'd learn the hard way and she could say she told me so. She then started apologizing for caring too much and getting into other people's business, and I tried calming her down and said it was fine and that i would have done the same thing in her situation, but I was still going to try and date her, regardless of that.

 

Which brings me to...this. Going to start talking to her more now, and she's hanging out with me and some of our mutual friends Friday for a friend's band's concert and the next Saturday for a cast party I'm throwing. So I think I'm doing pretty well, but I guess my question is, am I right in doing this? Should I be taking more advice from Sam or am I justified in wanting to try it regardless? I think that if I were to date Stacey it would go better than those last two attempts because she actually likes me, unlike those two. However, that could just be my naivete and attraction to her speaking. So... what should I do?

Give her the benefit of the doubt and give her a chance. But pay attention and don't let your own feelings cloud your judgement. If you sense that she isn't fully into it, back out. Don't try to force a relationship. She may go along with it but if she doesn't really like you, it's not going to work in the long-term, as you've seen with her previous relationships.

[MuffinMaddy]

Just a small question,

 

How much is too much? Like contact wise, I generally have conversations with Oliver (the guy I like) by texting like once a week and our conversations are like 5 texts long, just general questions like "How has your week been going?" Is what we chat about, and we occasionally facebook chat eachother, but how much is too much contact? I don't really want him to suspect that I'm treating him any differently, or others to find out that I like him unless I tell them, I want to spend more time as a normal friend to him so I can find out more about his character and personality etc before I follow everything through.

 

Thanks

 

There is no definitive answer it is all down to what is natural to the individual relationship.

 

With your conversation that lasts around 5 text does it end because you run out of things to say or are you to scared to reveal too much now? If you have more things to say just talk to him more but introduce it gradually. Don't suddenly go full out trying to make conversation for hours, just gradually build it up over a period of time so it looks more natural and less forced and artificial. People are always going to assume things if they see or hear about you talking to him, it always comes with this sort of thing and there is no avoiding it.

 

Well it just ends sort of naturally, like he'll text "Have an amazing half term babe" and I'll reply "You too! Happy revising" or something, and then it's just sort of.. there isn't really any need to continue the conversation. Lets not forget it costs money to text when you don't have free texts :P We're just on friendship terms so it's very neutral, just like "Hows the week going?" and "Really good thanks", it's more flirty or suggestive when it's face to face, but we don't often see each other face to face other than when we're working on Music after school or the rare occasion that he'll sit at my lunch table. I am probably partly to blame since I am a shy person in real life. My friend even suggested that I say hi to him in the cafeteria, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Another thing is that I'm always initiating the text conversations, so I just want to know how regularly I should just post a "how's it going?" because I don't want to get annoying either. I have no experience with this kind of thing since guys have always approached me and this is me playing more of an active role.

[Surprises]

Just a small question,

 

How much is too much? Like contact wise, I generally have conversations with Oliver (the guy I like) by texting like once a week and our conversations are like 5 texts long, just general questions like "How has your week been going?" Is what we chat about, and we occasionally facebook chat eachother, but how much is too much contact? I don't really want him to suspect that I'm treating him any differently, or others to find out that I like him unless I tell them, I want to spend more time as a normal friend to him so I can find out more about his character and personality etc before I follow everything through.

 

Thanks

 

There is no definitive answer it is all down to what is natural to the individual relationship.

 

With your conversation that lasts around 5 text does it end because you run out of things to say or are you to scared to reveal too much now? If you have more things to say just talk to him more but introduce it gradually. Don't suddenly go full out trying to make conversation for hours, just gradually build it up over a period of time so it looks more natural and less forced and artificial. People are always going to assume things if they see or hear about you talking to him, it always comes with this sort of thing and there is no avoiding it.

 

Well it just ends sort of naturally, like he'll text "Have an amazing half term babe" and I'll reply "You too! Happy revising" or something, and then it's just sort of.. there isn't really any need to continue the conversation. Lets not forget it costs money to text when you don't have free texts :P We're just on friendship terms so it's very neutral, just like "Hows the week going?" and "Really good thanks", it's more flirty or suggestive when it's face to face, but we don't often see each other face to face other than when we're working on Music after school or the rare occasion that he'll sit at my lunch table. I am probably partly to blame since I am a shy person in real life. My friend even suggested that I say hi to him in the cafeteria, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Another thing is that I'm always initiating the text conversations, so I just want to know how regularly I should just post a "how's it going?" because I don't want to get annoying either. I have no experience with this kind of thing since guys have always approached me and this is me playing more of an active role.

 

I would expect more of a flair/desire in the conversation rather than the awkward, "hi, how are you? good, how's school? good, have a good weekend" conversation if there was an interest.

 

Another thing is that I'm always initiating the text conversations

 

Does he ever initiate a conversation? I would take it as a slight warning if he didn't as (going from what you previously said) he seemed a more forward guy with girls.

 

know how regularly I should just post a "how's it going?

 

I would for now do it once a week but if he makes no more advances soonish walk away.

[MuffinMaddy]

I would expect more of a flair/desire in the conversation rather than the awkward, "hi, how are you? good, how's school? good, have a good weekend" conversation if there was an interest.

Does he ever initiate a conversation? I would take it as a slight warning if he didn't as (going from what you previously said) he seemed a more forward guy with girls.

 

 

No, he hasn't initiated a text conversation with me, but in real life he's started conversations with me, asked me how I am, if everything's okay etc.

 

I would for now do it once a week but if he makes no more advances soonish walk away.

And it's quite hard since I bump into him unintentionally a lot, but once a week seems alright for me, but one thing that helps me realise he's interested in the things I say, or at least, he remembers them and clearly tries to find things we have in common to talk about. If he didn't like me (at least as a friend) surely he'd try to avoid me at least, or make things a bit clearer? Why pretend to like someone when it's much less hassle to just steer clear of them or limit your contact with that person?

[Hobgoblinpie]

No, he hasn't initiated a text conversation with me, but in real life he's started conversations with me, asked me how I am, if everything's okay etc.

 

I would for now do it once a week but if he makes no more advances soonish walk away.

And it's quite hard since I bump into him unintentionally a lot, but once a week seems alright for me, but one thing that helps me realise he's interested in the things I say, or at least, he remembers them and clearly tries to find things we have in common to talk about. If he didn't like me (at least as a friend) surely he'd try to avoid me at least, or make things a bit clearer? Why pretend to like someone when it's much less hassle to just steer clear of them or limit your contact with that person?

 

So you have a text 'conversation' once a week, and you unintentionally see each other 'a lot'. So basically both of you are doing the bolded part.

 

In my opinion, that is nowhere near enough to get to know someone. I assume you're hoping you'll get to know each other better, and you of course want him to initiate conversations more. However, from what I can tell, you're giving nothing to him that makes it seem like you're interested in him. I send texts asking how people are regularly, and they aren't to people I even particularly like.

 

From what I can see, it's failing on both sides. He wont try and make any sort of move, because he thinks you're not interested. You don't spend much time together, you don't learn about each other (besides how you've been that week) etc.

 

I'm not suggesting that you should make any signs obvious, but you want him to be attracted to you, and he doesn't seem to think of you at any stage past 'friend'. Either you're going to have to step up and get him to match, or just be as content as you are now and move onto someone else.

 

That's just my perspective of things. Maybe I'm too cynical.

[MuffinMaddy]

No, he hasn't initiated a text conversation with me, but in real life he's started conversations with me, asked me how I am, if everything's okay etc.

 

I would for now do it once a week but if he makes no more advances soonish walk away.

And it's quite hard since I bump into him unintentionally a lot, but once a week seems alright for me, but one thing that helps me realise he's interested in the things I say, or at least, he remembers them and clearly tries to find things we have in common to talk about. If he didn't like me (at least as a friend) surely he'd try to avoid me at least, or make things a bit clearer? Why pretend to like someone when it's much less hassle to just steer clear of them or limit your contact with that person?

 

So you have a text 'conversation' once a week, and you unintentionally see each other 'a lot'. So basically both of you are doing the bolded part.

 

In my opinion, that is nowhere near enough to get to know someone. I assume you're hoping you'll get to know each other better, and you of course want him to initiate conversations more. However, from what I can tell, you're giving nothing to him that makes it seem like you're interested in him. I send texts asking how people are regularly, and they aren't to people I even particularly like.

 

From what I can see, it's failing on both sides. He wont try and make any sort of move, because he thinks you're not interested. You don't spend much time together, you don't learn about each other (besides how you've been that week) etc.

 

I'm not suggesting that you should make any signs obvious, but you want him to be attracted to you, and he doesn't seem to think of you at any stage past 'friend'. Either you're going to have to step up and get him to match, or just be as content as you are now and move onto someone else.

 

That's just my perspective of things. Maybe I'm too cynical.

 

No, no, what you're saying makes sense, I just have no sort of experience or background with that kind of thing. I'm scared of being pushy or annoying. I see all kinds of girls flirt with him, and he's complained to me about it, but he never seems to do anything or show any signs that he's uncomfortable with it. I guess I probably need more confidence because I shy away from most contact with him, for fear of either embarrassing myself or simply because I'm just too scared to for some reason. We do talk a lot more when we're actually with each other for a good amount of time in real life and we have really good conversations, but that's when there are few people around or it's just us, and that only happens once a week (when we meet up to work). Otherwise we don't spend much time together for practical reasons, he has some lessons out of school, we aren't in any classes together, and we also spend our free time in different places. A lot of our conversations are motivational, in the sense that he tries to encourage me to take up things that I usually wouldn't to improve my confidence, like singing. He persuaded me to come to choir with him on Thursdays. Anyway I agree with your last few sentences, I doubt I'll want to move onto anyone else at this precise moment in time but I also wouldn't be utterly depressed if he himself found someone else, but it'd feel a bit like I missed out and had a chance to move things forward. Either way, thanks.

[Hobgoblinpie]

From experience, embarassing yourself isn't always a bad thing. It just depends how you take. If you can just laugh it off, it's almost always going to be received positively with friends.

 

There are many ways to interpret why he complains to you about other girls flirting with him. Maybe he wants you to do the same? (Using it as a hint, for instance).

[MuffinMaddy]

From experience, embarassing yourself isn't always a bad thing. It just depends how you take. If you can just laugh it off, it's almost always going to be received positively with friends.

 

There are many ways to interpret why he complains to you about other girls flirting with him. Maybe he wants you to do the same? (Using it as a hint, for instance).

 

 

It depends on the embarrassment for me, I really don't like to be the centre of attention in public or at Sixth Form so if it's like a huge embarrassment that everyone's talking about, I'd find it hard to laugh it off (personally), especially since I've done so well staying in the shadows and not causing any reason for people to widely talk about me or anything. I can laugh off 'embarrassment' if it's just among friends, but I still don't know Oliver to that close level yet. I already flirt, but it's probably not obvious enough since he hasn't seen me often with everyone else and doesn't know how I act normally, but anyone who knows me well would probably realise I'm making a bit of an extra effort here. I can wait a little while before pushing it further.