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"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

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well, she's going to get old and ugly if you stay with her, despite any efforts she makes to the contrary

Yeah of course that's natural and unavoidable. But gaining weight due to an unhealthy lifestyle is not.

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This is phrased much better than your previous wall

 

 

well, she's going to get old and ugly if you stay with her, despite any efforts she makes to the contrary

Yeah of course that's natural and unavoidable. But gaining weight due to an unhealthy lifestyle is not.

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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

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Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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What you basically said to her in that sentence was this:

 

"I don't give a rat's arse about anything other than your figure. This is nothing more than sex for me. And the only reason I'm with you is because I stopped wanting sex from that other girl and you were the next best thing."

 

That might not have been what you meant, but it's definitely what you said.

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well, she's going to get old and ugly if you stay with her, despite any efforts she makes to the contrary

Yeah of course that's natural and unavoidable. But gaining weight due to an unhealthy lifestyle is not.

 

of course, but they both have the same effect. and if her looks are the only thing attracting you to her....then the outcome will be the same


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"It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti

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well, she's going to get old and ugly if you stay with her, despite any efforts she makes to the contrary

Yeah of course that's natural and unavoidable. But gaining weight due to an unhealthy lifestyle is not.

 

of course, but they both have the same effect. and if her looks are the only think attracting you to her....then the outcome will be the same


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"It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti

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What you basically said to her in that sentence was this:

 

"I don't give a rat's arse about anything other than your figure. This is nothing more than sex for me. And the only reason I'm with you is because I stopped wanting sex from that other girl and you were the next best thing."

 

That might not have been what you meant, but it's definitely what you said.

I dont feel that's what he said, but its absolutely what she heard. At the very least we know she ain't getting fat any time soon. And if she does its to passively piss off Noxx


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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2013/05/05/love-and-lust/

 

Sexual attraction and love are two completely different things, let's not confuse the two.

Exactly. I'll still love her because she's an amazing person. But i'll no longer feel sexually attracted to her, so what's the point of continuing a committed monogamous relationship with her? If i have to fantasize about other women every time i have sex with her, why don't i just have sex with other women instead? 

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Why are you justifying yourself to us? It's not us you offended.

 

[...]

 

I wasn't making some deep moral point about love and lust or about how you should stay in a relationship with someone you don't find sexually attractive. That's none of my business and it's your choice. I was simply trying to show you why she might have taken to that comment so badly. But, whatever. You seem to think the way to stop offending her is by pointing out how much you're in the right. Well, yeah, you might be right, but it won't make her feel any better: http://lesswrong.com/lw/j6o/according_to_dale_carnegie_you_cant_win_an/.

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http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2013/05/05/love-and-lust/

 

Sexual attraction and love are two completely different things, let's not confuse the two.

Exactly. I'll still love her because she's an amazing person. But i'll no longer feel sexually attracted to her, so what's the point of continuing a committed monogamous relationship with her? If i have to fantasize about other women every time i have sex with her, why don't i just have sex with other women instead?
That is one of the biggest reasons why I am not monogamous >_>

 

 

Ginger I don't think he was getting defensive or anything. Relatively sure everybody ITT is more or less in agreement here. The only one who doesn't agree is Noxx's gf


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I really doubt she'll, or anyone else, ever understand that.

 

 

While all this monogamy/polygamy talk we've had here over the many months is all interesting and stuff, it's not something I can see being used in reality with the vast majority of people (when you want a somewhat serious relationship).


"The cry of the poor is not always just, but if you never hear it you'll never know what justice is."

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I do think Noxx owes it to her to make his point very clear though. It is a somewhat untraditional point of view, so she could perhaps be forgiven for thinking "he's just joking" or something like that.

 

If noxx wants to be polyamorous (essentially what he's describing even if not using that name) then he needs to be clear and direct with her about it. If she accepts it, great. If not, they can both move on.


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"It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti

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http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2013/05/05/love-and-lust/

 

Sexual attraction and love are two completely different things, let's not confuse the two.

Exactly. I'll still love her because she's an amazing person. But i'll no longer feel sexually attracted to her, so what's the point of continuing a committed monogamous relationship with her? If i have to fantasize about other women every time i have sex with her, why don't i just have sex with other women instead?
That is one of the biggest reasons why I am not monogamous >_>

 

 

Ginger I don't think he was getting defensive or anything. Relatively sure everybody ITT is more or less in agreement here. The only one who doesn't agree is Noxx's gf

 

Yeah i wasn't trying to defend my self, or justify my "actions". I was just agreeing on what Muggi said.

And i don't think my GF actually disagrees with anything either. She understands that you "fall in love" with a certain type of person.  When that person is no longer the same person you "fell in love" with, then obviously some sort of attraction will be lost. To me the attraction is more physical based and to her the attraction is more personality based. She said that if i ever changed the way i behaved (or became overly aggressive) she would have a hard time finding me attractive.

 

 

I do think Noxx owes it to her to make his point very clear though. It is a somewhat untraditional point of view, so she could perhaps be forgiven for thinking "he's just joking" or something like that.

 

If noxx wants to be polyamorous (essentially what he's describing even if not using that name) then he needs to be clear and direct with her about it. If she accepts it, great. If not, they can both move on.

 

She knows i'm not joking. I've mentioned this a few times before. Her mother is overweight out of pure laziness. I told her a few months ago that if she starts looking like her mother i'm out. Untraditional, vein, shallow, selfish... whatever the term people want to use, i don't think it's unreasonable at all. I'm sure if i don't find her attractive 100 other guys will. Guys who will appreciate her for being "chunky".

Also what i said i might as well be with other women i meant "woman", haha. I don't think i'm cut out for poly. I tried it once, it was fun. But it wasn't for me.

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well, as long as you're up front about it, so she knows what to expect

 

@noxx do you think you'll stay with her when she gets old? even if she stays in "good shape"


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"It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti

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My favorite part is when you say what Noxx said to certain girls and their response is "Its impossible for me to lose weight therefore you should still be attracted to me regardless"

 

Every single time I hear someone say "It's impossible for me to lose weight no matter what I eat" I will stop what I'm doing and explain thermodynamics to them

 

 

 

I think the whole weight loss industry in America is the perfect example of the cost of having a scientifically illiterate population.

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i wouldn't be so negative; today's population is more scientifically literate than at any point in history

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polvCwJ.gif
"It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti

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What if she has a thyroid issue? Shit looks a lot like obesity


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Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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Having a thyroid issue is no excuse. It simply means it will be more difficult to lose weight than if you didn't have that issue.

 

I've always wondered how many people get diagnosed with thyroid issues, only to react with joy and relief that they can now blame their thyroid for their obesity rather than their lack of self-discipline lol


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There's some merit to that, but understand that there are limits to the human body. While I'm also an advocate of human will power and strength of mind over matter, there are something that can not be overcome through sheer positivity. Hormone imbalances may prevent consistent happiness and stability. Thyroid problems may inhibit healthy phyical appearance. Will power can absolutely overcome these issues to an extent, but you can only work with the tools given to you.


Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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@noxx do you think you'll stay with her when she gets old? even if she stays in "good shape"

It'll be pretty stupid to leave her for her age, Noxx will be just as old as her.

 

Contrary to popular belief, there are only two types of old people who get girls in their early 20s: millionaires and billionaires.


"The cry of the poor is not always just, but if you never hear it you'll never know what justice is."

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By the time you're in your 60s and beyond you'll probably have a much lower sex drive and be more willing/capable of settling down with a less attractive woman.

 

But until then...


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There's some merit to that, but understand that there are limits to the human body. While I'm also an advocate of human will power and strength of mind over matter, there are something that can not be overcome through sheer positivity. Hormone imbalances may prevent consistent happiness and stability. Thyroid problems may inhibit healthy phyical appearance. Will power can absolutely overcome these issues to an extent, but you can only work with the tools given to you.

If that's the case, though, I think it is an extremely rare one. At least, much more rare than people would like to admit.

 

In other words, the average person CAN lose weight and so can the average person with a thyroid condition. But just because they CAN doesn't mean they will :\


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By the time you're in your 60s and beyond you'll probably have a much lower sex drive and be more willing/capable of settling down with a less attractive woman.

 

But until then...

Wrong: http://www.ageuk.org.uk/latest-press/archive/shhhhsex-doesnt-stop-in-your-60s/

 

 

i wouldn't be so negative; today's population is more scientifically literate than at any point in history

True, but then this has to be countered with the concept that the self-help industry has never been so good at convincing people to believe in bad science. Some examples of marketing in the cosmetic and self-help industry are made because people genuinely cannot evaluate evidence, and so all they see is "Magic pill magically burns fat, a study says", and not the actual methodology of the study which is likely to be far, far more limiting and, frankly, boring.

 

But then there are other examples of sciencey-looking "professionals" who just peddle horse shit around and purposefully do everything possible to make it believable, while evading proper scientific scrutiny and alienating consumers against sources of valid, scientific evidence. I'm talking nutritionists and I'm also talking homeopathy, which for some reason I cannot possibly begin to agree with, the NHS still provides funding for.

 

Anyway, that's my rant about evidence-based practice over. When I qualify, I promise I will avoid recommending quack self-help remedies to my patients. :)

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