"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[The_Gabe]

Hmm... I may have gotten my 17 year old girlfriend pregnant. This could be unpleasant.

Details

[Riku3220]

Hmm... I may have gotten my 17 year old girlfriend pregnant. This could be unpleasant.

How long has it been since you had the sex that might have gotten her pregnant? If it was less than 72 hours ago it's not too late to prevent it with Plan B.

[muggiwhplar]

 

 

 

 

Hmm... I may have gotten my 17 year old girlfriend pregnant. This could be unpleasant.

Dude your life is GAME OVER if you decide to be a father at your age

Well it will be with that sort of attitude.

It's a cultural thing. In America, unplanned pregnancy at a young age means the mother, the father, and the child are almost guaranteed to spend the rest of their lives (or at the very least, the next 18 years) in poverty.

 

Not sure if rocc0 lives in the US though, as I'm posting from my phone right now

[RpgGamer]

You done goofed Rocco. Better be getting her on the pill soon

[The_Gabe]

The stress could play a big part.

[Giordano]

I was thinking I would just drive her over to the neighboring state which doesn't have consent laws.

Would be for the best.

[Noxx]

Few things i should mention, if it turns out she is pregnant:

 

1. I'm not sure how the laws work in your state, but i'm sure the final choice to terminate or continue lies with her. You should not encourage her to do either, but rather support her with whatever choice she makes. If she decides to continue and you don't want to play any role, you need to make that clear from day one. Again, i'm not sure how the laws are in your state but child support will probably be something you'd have to think about then. This does not mean game over, this just means a bit of extra work. Yes, raising a child can be expensive, but if her parents are devout Catholics as you said, then they probably will help support the child as well.

 

2. If she decided to terminate, i suggest the both of you see a therapist first or maybe go to planned parenthood or something, and talk to someone about the possible physiological affects this could have on both of you. You might think it's silly for you to be physiologically affected by this, but you might be.

 

Both of you just need to sit down and talk about this. Not now, but when you have both calmed down a bit. Whatever choice you (as in both of you) decide to make, be aware that it will have an impact on your life whether big or small.  But all i ask is that both of you think before you make any decisions. 

[muggiwhplar]

will edit later possibly

[Low Levelled]

Been away for a bit.. Any news, rocc0?

[The_Gabe]

Woo

[Omar]

OKC report: got better pictures a couple of days ago, and I'm copy-pasting from muggi like I just don't care. I'm happy with my response rates so far. There are some girls, whom I can only really describe as weirdo chaotic neutrals, that are way more responsive to my talking to them normally, but that probably says more about me than it does about muggi's strategy.

[muggiwhplar]

That's good you're getting responses. Just keep in mind that scheduling dates is the most important thing. Women who respond but won't agree to a date are just time-wasters. That's why I keep my interactions very systematic and short; so I can determine if they are a YES or a NO as quickly as possible and proceed from there.

 

Usually she has already made up her mind by the time she responds. If she's into you, she will make it easy for you to meet her. If she's not into you, she'll have to "check her schedule" and "get back to you later" when you pitch the meet.

[obfuscator]

Or maybe she's so in love "checking her schedule" involves drawing little hearts with "omar" inside of them in every day of the year

[nine naked men]

when i think of ways to describe women, i think d&d alignments. that;s what gets me hot

 

"i don;t think our date went very well. how would i describe it? true neutral."

 

"that was the most chaotic good sex i've ever had"

 

"my ex was really neutral evil, if you know what i mean."

[Omar]

That's good you're getting responses. Just keep in mind that scheduling dates is the most important thing.

Yeah, I got that, but it's better than no responses haha. I've got one Saturday and maybe one Sunday (she said OK but didn't get a text from her?)

[muggiwhplar]

 

That's good you're getting responses. Just keep in mind that scheduling dates is the most important thing.

Yeah, I got that, but it's better than no responses haha. I've got one Saturday and maybe one Sunday (she said OK but didn't get a text from her?)

 

 

If they "agree" to a date but then they don't follow up at all after you give them your number and time/place, odds are pretty high that they will flake. Just be sure to send her another message 24 hours prior to your date to confirm that you're still meeting up. If she doesn't reply to that, then forget about her and move on.

 

If she gave you her number, then have a short text conversation w/ her on Friday so she'll be less likely to flake.

 

When I schedule dates, I always try to schedule them as soon as possible. Right now it's Wednesday morning, so if I'm talking to a girl online, I'll try to schedule the date for Wednesday night (tonight), tomorrow night, or Friday. The farther away I schedule the date, the higher the odds of her losing interest by the time our date is supposed to happen.

 

Also, I can't remember if I already said this, but avoid messaging girls who aren't "Online Now!" If you're going to message girls who aren't currently online, try to message them between 4-8pm on a Sunday or a Monday, as those are peak traffic times. Otherwise there's a pretty good chance she'll never even see your message. In the past, I would only get on the dating sites once a week on a Sunday evening and blast out openers to everyone, but nowadays I just send out openers to whoever is currently online.

[muggiwhplar]

Also, in lieu of the recent pregnancy scare on ITT:

 

[hide=The Rules for Avoiding Unwanted Pregnancies]

http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=3&mn=1227308704522463&refine=subject%3D%26author%3Dblackdragon%26body%3D%26datefrom%3D%26dateto%3D

(link doesn't work anymore as the archives are down)

If you get a chick pregnant and she has the kid, she owns your wallet for the next 18 years. No matter what else happens. I personally like my money, so I go out of my way to not get any woman pregnant by any means necessary, while still enjoying frequent sex.

This guide is for men who have not had a vasectomy. Obviously, if you’ve had one of those, none of this applies to you. This DOES apply to you if you have “low sperm count”…you can still get women pregnant. These rules apply to men who don’t want to have children, or don’t want to have children right now.

Before we get into the specific rules there is one critical point many men don’t understand.

As badly as you want sex, that’s as badly as she wants to have a baby.

Statistically speaking, women do NOT get abortions when they get pregnant.

Statistically speaking, women do NOT give up unwanted children for adoption.

If you get a chick pregnant, odds are she will have the child. Even if she has said over and over again she “doesn’t want (more) kids”. When she finds out she’s pregnant, once she gets over the surprise and shock, deep down she will be jumping for joy.

Moving away from statistics and into my own experience with women over the last 20 years or so, I have found the following to be generally true:

1. Women who say they don’t want kids, or don’t want them yet, do want them. Women who say “I want kids, but eventually, not now!”, if they get pregnant, will happily have the child NOW.

2. Women who have only one child want one more (even if they say they don’t). The vast majority of women are biologically “wired” to want TWO children.

3. Women with two kids truly would rather not have more kids, but if they get pregnant on accident, they will more often than not have the baby anyway, especially if she’s under 40. The only women who honestly don’t want more kids are women over 40. But even these can surprise you.

4. The more kids a woman has, the harder it is for her emotionally to have an abortion. The reverse of this means that a women with no children are the most likely to get an abortion (but, again, don’t rely on this).

5. A childless woman’s biological clock really starts ticking at age 28. When a childless woman turns 28, for “some reason” she will “suddenly” want to have kids. There is something magical about age 28 for women in regards to having babies. If you’re having sex with a childless woman aged 28 or older, you are in a severe danger zone. Be aware.

6. Childless women in their late 30’s or early 40’s (what few there are) are psychotic, ticking time bombs. These twisted creatures are semen-seeking Tomahawk missiles. Their entire goal in life is to impregnated immediately. AVOID these women like the plague (I do).

7. Of course, there are exceptions to all of the above generalizations. But they’re generally true.

Bottom line, don’t believe a woman when she says she doesn’t want kids.


THE SIX RULES for Avoiding Unwanted Pregnancies and Pregnancy Shit Tests

RULE ONE:

The ONLY forms of birth control that are acceptable to you are:

1. Condoms.

2. A woman with an IUD (the type WITH hormones, not the type without).

3. A woman who has had a tubal ligation (her tubes tied) or a hysterectomy.

Even in the cases of 2 and 3, the woman must PROVE to you that she has had these procedures done. She must show you scars, show you paperwork, or something similar. If she can’t do this, you must use a condom.

I have literally stopped sexual escalation to make a woman run into her study to pull out her tubal ligation paperwork before I had sex with her without a condom. This is the attitude you must adopt.

As another example, if a woman says she has an IUD, I will ask her many specific, penetrating questions about the procedure since I’ve studied up on it. If her answers are at all wishy-washy, I use a condom. Generally, doctors will not implant an IUD in a woman unless she’s had a child, so if a woman says she has an IUD and she’s childless, she’s probably lying.

ONLY those three types of birth control are allowed. This means a condom must be used (at least toward the end of sex) in the following situations, including, but not limited to:

1. If she’s on birth control pills. You use a condom.

2. If she says her doctor said she “can’t get pregnant”. You use a condom.

3. If she’s says she’s had an IUD, tubes tied, or hysterectomy and you can’t verify it. You use a condom.

4. If uses chemical birth control (depo provera or similar), shots, or a patch. You use a condom.

5. If she has a cervical ring. You use a condom.

6. If she says she’s “allergic to latex”. You use a condom. Or don’t have sex with her.

7. I could go on forever here. You get the point. No matter how much she screams at you or calls you silly, use a condom (unless she can verify to you birth control options 2 or 3).

Regarding condoms:

1. If it’s not made of latex, it’s not a condom and is not considered one of the effective forms of birth control.

2. Always have them on you or at least in your car.

3. They must be purchased by you. Not her. Women know how to place pinholes in them.

4. They must be on your person or in a place you are aware of at all times.

5. They have expiration dates. Check these.

6. They lose their effectiveness if stored in a hot area. I keep condoms in my car, but after many hot summer weeks stored in there, if I have any left I throw them out and replace them.

RULE TWO:

NEVER, EVER use any “method” birth control, such as the calendar method (rhythm method) or the pull-out method, or whatever. There’s an old saying: there’s a word to describe people who use the rhythm method, it’s called “parents”. The rhythm method is simply asking for a baby. Do the research if you don’t believe me.

As for as “pulling out” goes, according to Planned Parenthood, out of 100 men, 27 WILL get their partner pregnant within one year of having sex using the pull-out method. Bad. Have sex, when you feel like you’re ready to come, pause and slap that condom on, then continue. The vast majority of sex I’ve been having over the last 20 years has been exactly like that and I’ve NEVER gotten a woman accidentally pregnant.

RULE THREE:

You must give the “abortion talk” to any woman you are regularly having sex with. If you’re an AFC, or have oneitis, this is going to be a tough one, so man up (you [kitty]).

Women believe, often correctly, that if they get pregnant, they can snag a reluctant man into marriage, fatherhood, or other forms of commitment. This is yet another incentive for women to get pregnant “on accident”. You must wipe this possibility from her mind.

Once you’ve had sex with a particular woman several times, and it appears you are going to continue to do so, you must have the “abortion talk”. It’s not pleasant, but it’s a necessary rule.

When she’s in a relaxed state of mind, ask her what would happen if something went wrong and she got pregnant on accident. Her answer will fall into one of two categories.

Category one: Without a moment of hesitation, she says “OMG, I would run right down to the clinic and get an abortion.”

Category two: She says ANYTHING ELSE.

“Anything else” includes definite answers like,

“I’d keep it.”

or

“I’d probably keep it.”

or

“I don’t believe in abortion. It’s murder.”

or

“I’m a Christian. I can’t have an abortion”

or

“I had an abortion once back when I was 17. It was terrible and I’ll never do it again.”


“Anything else” also includes indefinite answers like,

“I don’t know”

or

“Well, it would depend”

or

“Why do you asking me this?”

or

“I’d have to think about it.”

ALL of those above answers, and any variations of those, are woman-language for the following:

“I would happily have and baby whether you wanted me to or not, and you will pay me child support every month for the next 18 years, or you will go to jail. I also fully expect you to be a father figure in my child’s life, even if I forced you to have a child you didn’t want, and if you aren’t, I will consider you an evil [wagon], and I will say this to everyone I know and make your life a living hell.”

So, if after you ask her what would happen if she got pregnant on accident, she gives you a “category one” answer, congratulations, your discussion is over.

If instead she gives you an “anything else” answer, you must tell her the following (feel free to modify based on your particular situation):

“I want to be very clear with you. I don’t want any children right now. Maybe later in my life, but not now. I believe that when a woman has a child against a man’s will, it’s one of the most horrible things a woman can do to man, and I will never be with a woman who could do something that evil. I need to let you know that if a woman ever got pregnant with me on accident, and had the baby over my objections, that woman would never, ever see me again. That woman would never communicate with me in any way, ever again. I would not be part of her life or the child’s life. I would sadly pay whatever the court forced me at gunpoint to pay, and that woman would never see me again. Now, I know you’re a cool person, and you would never do something like that…I just wanted you to know where my position on this was.”

Yes, it’s harsh, but after that, she odds of her trying to rope you into a “shotgun commitment” are much lower. Yes she’s a woman and thus an emotional and irrational creature, so it guarantees nothing, but trust me, she will remember this conversation. The odds of her using a pregnancy or pregnancy shit test against you go WAY down.

RULE FOUR:

Track her periods on a calendar.

Any woman you are regularly having sex with, any time she says she’s on her period, ask her what day she’s on. Note this in a calendar somewhere. Do NOT tell her you are doing this (depending on the woman, this might REALLY piss her off, so keep it quiet!).

Generally speaking, periods last 5 to 6 days, every 3 to 3.5 weeks or so. This can fluctuate wildly between woman to woman, so tracking this on a calendar gives you advance warning on any pregnancy scare or “period lateness”.

Use the website www.pmsbuddy.com. It’s great. It actually emails you when your partner’s period is due to start.

If you ever have a time where, according to your calendar, she should be on her period, and she isn’t, it’s time to watch her VERY CAREFULLY. If she goes a full week with no period, give her a pregnancy test. Which, of course, leads right into…

RULE FIVE:

Purchase a home pregnancy test, with a low MIU detection rating, and keep it in your bathroom. Make sure any women you are regularly having sex with are aware you have it. If they ask you to show it to them, do so.

If a woman ever gives you a pregnancy scare, shove the pregnancy test in her hands, walk her into the bathroom, watch her piss on the stick (or at a minimum BE in the bathroom with her as she takes the test), and figure it out right then and there.

Note most pregnancy tests won’t work until 10 to 20 days (depending on the test) after the date of conception. They are the most accurate after the time of the month when she should have had her period. If you’re following Rule Four, this should be no problem for you.

Note that like condoms, pregnancy tests loose their effectiveness over time. Pay attention to the expiration date. Discard and replace any unused tests.

Rules Four and Five are critical to work with in conjunction. Why? Even women who have no problem with abortion will often have a problem aborting a fetus after 6, 7 or 8 weeks of pregnancy. For many people, this time frame is when an “abortion” becomes “murder”. Your mission is to get the pregnancy determined well before this time frame so you have time to figure things out.

A common tactic of women is to find out they’re pregnant, and not tell the guy for THREE OR FOUR MONTHS, or longer. Then, one day, she “announces” it to him, and says, with mock sadness, “It’s too late to get an abortion now! Oh darn!”. Following rules Four and Five prevent this particular nightmare.

Also, some women are just mutants, and don’t “show” for months into a pregnancy, if ever. I’ve been shocked at how hot some women look at well past three months into a pregnancy…with some women you just can’t tell. True story (this really did happen, I’m not making it up or exaggerating): Several months back, I tried to have sex with a HB, and she just wouldn’t have it. None of my techniques worked. We had sex many times before, so I was stumped and couldn’t figure it out. I went away without getting laid. To my shock, I later discovered on the night I tried to have sex with her, she was EIGHT MONHTS PREGNANT. No shit. Five weeks after that night, she popped out a bouncing baby boy. She still looked hot…she was a medical miracle. And no, the baby wasn’t mine. I follow these rules.

RULE SIX:

Always have at least one treatment of morning after pills on hand. “One treatment” means two pills, one she takes the next morning, and one more she takes 12 hours later. Yes, she must take both or it won’t work (many people don’t realize that).

You can purchase one treatment at Planned Parenthood for less than $30. Pony up and buy some, and hide it in your bathroom somewhere.

Having your own stash of morning after pills is your stopgap emergency measure, just in case you were too drunk or too stupid to follow the other rules. Never RELY on your morning after pills, they are there for an unusual emergency (Technically, if you follow the first 5 rules, you should never need them).


That’s it! Because I follow these rules, I have NEVER gotten a woman pregnant on accident, and no woman has ever used the “pregnancy shit test” on me. Now go forth and get laid, but don’t be stupid.

-Blackdragon

[/hide]

[Major Dash]

I'm pretty sure that the situations described was not in a long term monogamous relationship, but some of the things can still be very applicable. 

[muggiwhplar]

i think viewing all women as untrustworthy harpies will prevent you from having children but will also lower the quality of your relationships drastically

 

That's a pessimistic way of viewing it. I view it the same way as putting on my seat belt whilst driving and keeping a spare tire in my trunk. I don't do those things out of distrust; I do it so I'm prepared for the worst in case the shit ever hits the fan.

[The_Gabe]

That was a good read. I always use a condom anyways (I have a stash of like 80 in my closet) so it's not problem. I can definitely see good for people listening to this advice. I know a 19 year old from my graduating senior class (class of 13) who has a baby, is pregnant with another, and got a divorce a month ago from the father of the two kids. You do not want to end up being in that kind of a mess.

[obfuscator]

 

i think viewing all women as untrustworthy harpies will prevent you from having children but will also lower the quality of your relationships drastically

 

That's a pessimistic way of viewing it. I view it the same way as putting on my seat belt whilst driving and keeping a spare tire in my trunk. I don't do those things out of distrust; I do it so I'm prepared for the worst in case the shit ever hits the fan.

 

then again, you can't fairly equate human relationships to driving a car. But if you're not going for long term monogamy and it's really only for the sex the quality of the relationship isn't relevant in the same way

[muggiwhplar]

 

 

i think viewing all women as untrustworthy harpies will prevent you from having children but will also lower the quality of your relationships drastically

 

That's a pessimistic way of viewing it. I view it the same way as putting on my seat belt whilst driving and keeping a spare tire in my trunk. I don't do those things out of distrust; I do it so I'm prepared for the worst in case the shit ever hits the fan.

 

then again, you can't fairly equate human relationships to driving a car. But if you're not going for long term monogamy and it's really only for the sex the quality of the relationship isn't relevant in the same way

 

 

I think everyone should follow those rules regardless of what type of relationship they're in, assuming that they do not want to have a child at this time. I disagree that following those rules damages the "trust" of a relationship-- especially if you openly discuss this with your partner like I do.

 

If you aren't willing to follow these rules and you don't want a child then you probably shouldn't be having sex in the first place, as you're playing with fire >_>

 

And yes you're right that you cannot equate it to driving a car-- my explanation was technically a straw man I think. My point is, I don't consider my relationships as suffering from trust issues as a result of following these rules. If anything, my relationships are more trustworthy than my friends' relationships since I openly discuss critical topics such as this, and if there is a major disagreement, then that means I should spend my time with women who are on the same page w/ me such as to prevent any major problems in the future.

[Giordano]

Your future plans, financial situation, and welfare of a child is not nearly as important as your 'girlfriend' being offended. Her feelings are absolute!

[obfuscator]

I think everyone should follow those rules regardless of what type of relationship they're in, assuming that they do not want to have a child at this time. I disagree that following those rules damages the "trust" of a relationship-- especially if you openly discuss this with your partner like I do.

 

If you aren't willing to follow these rules and you don't want a child then you probably shouldn't be having sex in the first place, as you're playing with fire >_>

 

And yes you're right that you cannot equate it to driving a car-- my explanation was technically a straw man I think. My point is, I don't consider my relationships as suffering from trust issues as a result of following these rules. If anything, my relationships are more trustworthy than my friends' relationships since I openly discuss critical topics such as this, and if there is a major disagreement, then that means I should spend my time with women who are on the same page w/ me such as to prevent any major problems in the future.

Of course you should openly discuss critical topics in a relationship - if you can do that (as you should be able to in a healthy relationship, monogamous or otherwise), these kinds of things won't be an issue.

 

It's only really your attitude that will affect trust - if you're like BD and assume that every woman is basically crazy and manipulative, then your relationship will suffer, regardless of how you act. However, if your relationship is more trivial, it's less of an issue.

[muggiwhplar]

 

I think everyone should follow those rules regardless of what type of relationship they're in, assuming that they do not want to have a child at this time. I disagree that following those rules damages the "trust" of a relationship-- especially if you openly discuss this with your partner like I do.

 

If you aren't willing to follow these rules and you don't want a child then you probably shouldn't be having sex in the first place, as you're playing with fire >_>

 

And yes you're right that you cannot equate it to driving a car-- my explanation was technically a straw man I think. My point is, I don't consider my relationships as suffering from trust issues as a result of following these rules. If anything, my relationships are more trustworthy than my friends' relationships since I openly discuss critical topics such as this, and if there is a major disagreement, then that means I should spend my time with women who are on the same page w/ me such as to prevent any major problems in the future.

Of course you should openly discuss critical topics in a relationship - if you can do that (as you should be able to in a healthy relationship, monogamous or otherwise), these kinds of things won't be an issue.

 

It's only really your attitude that will affect trust - if you're like BD and assume that every woman is basically crazy and manipulative, then your relationship will suffer, regardless of how you act. However, if your relationship is more trivial, it's less of an issue.

 

 

We'll have to disagree on that then-- like I said earlier, I don't think it's really a matter of "assuming that every woman is crazy and manipulative"-- it's more like taking as many precautions as you can on your end such that whether or not the girl you're dating is actually "crazy" becomes irrelevant.

 

I guess my question for you and rocc0 would be: are there any points that you disagree with in that advice? Would you willingly violate any of the "rules" on the grounds of them being "untrustworthy?" Or do you agree with all of the principles, however you just disagree with the "tone" of the advice?