"I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

[Low Levelled]

 

 

 

 

 

Not to sound like a dick, but I don't understand what kind of advice is needed to get laid. Just go on dates.

How is this any different than telling a homeless person to "just get a job"?

Are you serious? Lol

Yes. Why would you think I'm not? Answer the question.

It really doesn't matter what his friend suggests to him or how many good words he puts in. That doesn't get him laid. Hard work and experience gets you laid. (learning from mistakes, because trust me there will be plenty) If you're clueless with women you don't start with the prom queen.

[RpgGamer]

I've seen plenty start with the prom queen. Don't limit yourself.

 

@champion

She just sounds like the kinda girl that smokes or smoked newports

[muggiwhplar]

It's kind of a complicated topic because one's success in dating as man is extremely dependent upon how the man views himself. He can be poor and ugly but if he's got high self esteem and a healthy belief system, he will be successful in dating. Conversely, if he's rich and good looking but has poor self esteem and bad beliefs about dating, his dating life will largely be beyond his control.

 

Since it's a subjective matter, that basically means everybody has the tools they need to be successful... but whether or not they choose to use those tools correctly is another story. Can everyone get their dating life under their control? Yes, just like anyone can become financially successful if they put their minds to it. But will they actually go forward and become successful? Not usually; but not because it's actually impossible, but because they think it's impossible.

 

Hope that makes sense >_>

[RpgGamer]

He really does look like Eric Cartman lol

 

Conversely I have a friend that could easily be on the cover of Aficionado magazine but when it comes to talking to women you might as well ask him to diffuse an IED

[Horatio]

It's kind of a complicated topic because one's success in dating as man is extremely dependent upon how the man views himself. He can be poor and ugly but if he's got high self esteem and a healthy belief system, he will be successful in dating. Conversely, if he's rich and good looking but has poor self esteem and bad beliefs about dating, his dating life will largely be beyond his control.

 

Since it's a subjective matter, that basically means everybody has the tools they need to be successful... but whether or not they choose to use those tools correctly is another story. Can everyone get their dating life under their control? Yes, just like anyone can become financially successful if they put their minds to it. But will they actually go forward and become successful? Not usually; but not because it's actually impossible, but because they think it's impossible.

 

Hope that makes sense >_>

I don't agree with you, but at least you answered my question. Thanks.

[muggiwhplar]

It will be hard for you to be successful if you continue to disagree with the advice of those who are successful :P

[obfuscator]

Horatio is quite content to wallow in his own misery, it seems

[muggiwhplar]

Relevant quote:

 

when I say your weight or your sex life or your income is your fault, instead of getting pissed off and defensive, you should be happy. It means you can change these conditions. If they really weren’t your fault, you’d be screwed…for life.

 

I LOVE that my problems are my fault. I think that’s fantastic! That way I have the power to change them. My past problems that are now gone were also my fault. So I put in the work to change them, and now they aren’t problems any more. I’m glad they were my fault, because if they weren’t, I’d still have those problems. That would be bad.

 

By the way, if your problems are your fault, that also means the good stuff in your life are also your fault. So if you make a lot of money or get laid a lot, and achieved these things through your own efforts, you should give yourself a pat on the back. You did that (regardless of what Obama says). That was your “fault.” Well done! If you achieved quality results in those areas, you can also achieve at least decent results in other areas also. Because those areas are your fault too.

 

So SUCK IT UP, STOP [bleep]ING, and GET TO WORK. Everything in your life is your fault. Which means you can change anything in your life you don’t like.

 

Isn't that awesome?

 

[Estonian dude]

Bloody [bleep]ing hell.

Girl says she doesn't want anyone to know anything about us.

Yesterday, she said she doesn't want a "secret" relationship.

 

Will see her again tomorrow at a party. Don't know what to expect.

[Boris5000]

Just nod your head and continue what you were doing...

[muggiwhplar]

Bloody [bleep]ing hell.

Girl says she doesn't want anyone to know anything about us.

Yesterday, she said she doesn't want a "secret" relationship.

 

Will see her again tomorrow at a party. Don't know what to expect.

Stop worrying about what she SAYS. Just pay attention to what she DOES.

[Horatio]

WARNING: THE CONTENTS OF THIS POST DIFFER FROM THE OPINION OF THE AVERAGE PERSON. IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY PEOPLE WITH OPINIONS DIFFERENT THAN YOURS, DON'T READ THIS.

 

[hide]I'm terrified of the power women have. If a woman is having a bad day or if she just doesn't like you for whatever reason, she can say you raped her with absolutely 0 evidence and if it's your word vs hers, she'd be right. If you're ugly and don't have a large circle of friends and family to back you up, your odds of being falsely accused convicted of rape are even higher. In my case, I don't have ANY good looks or social support backing me up (Not to mention that I'm mentally ill, which in the eyes of a jury makes your a murder-rapist-bank robber by itself), so if I get just a little bit unlucky, that girl I could theoretically ask out will ruin my life and 90+% of society will side with her. The other 10% will say "I don't know, but she's probably right".

 

There are thousands of cases of falsely accused rape out there. Those are only the ones that were determined to be false. I don't even want to think about how many haven't been figured out.

 

If your counter-argument is "That doesn't happen", I can provide links to cases of falsely-accused rape (I forgot to mention that in the vast majority of these cases, the woman just gets a slap on the wrist and told to not do that. On the other hand, if your accused of rape as a man, your social life will not only go down to 0, it'll end up in the negatives (People will hate you for something someone else said)). Sure, you can probably provide links to false-rape charges that didn't result in anything, but the fact that it happens at all and the fact that your chance of conviction is a function of looks and social-status makes it all the more likely to happen to me.

 

If your counter-argument is "That won't happen TO YOU", let me know WHY. As for why it WOULD happen to me, there's the issue of having to ask more girls out to get a date than the normal guy (Which by itself increases my chances) because of lack of looks and social-skills. Every time I could ask a girl out, my chances of this happening increase. Even if it's a 1% chance (Which, let's be honest, it's probably a lot more than that), the fact that I've asked out 4 or 5 girls in my life with just "NOs" makes me moderately lucky. I'd rather not push my luck.

 

If your counter-argument is "You're delusional", tell me why. As for why I'm not, I'd argue that the fact that it happens AT ALL is a pretty good reason. If you're an adrenaline junky, you should be aware that your next BASE jumping adventure could result in the death of you. Sure, parachute failures are uncommon, but it's enough to keep loads of people from jumping out of planes (I don't have any evidence to back this claim up, but I think most people would agree it's reasonable.)

 

Basically, what I'm trying to get at is that getting dates IS a numbers game, but there are more than one variable. While asking 1000 girls out might increase your chances of getting a girlfriend, it also increases your chances of having your life ruined forever. Sure, ugly antisocial guys can get dates, but they're lucky. The more ugly and bad-with-social-stuff you are, the more likely you are to be accused/convicted for something you didn't do. The opposite is true too. If you're a 10/10 social butterfly, it can happen to you (Look up Brian Banks), but it's much more unlikely.[/hide]

[muggiwhplar]

WARNING: THE CONTENTS OF THIS POST DIFFER FROM THE OPINION OF THE AVERAGE PERSON. IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY PEOPLE WITH OPINIONS DIFFERENT THAN YOURS, DON'T READ THIS.

 

[hide]I'm terrified of the power women have. If a woman is having a bad day or if she just doesn't like you for whatever reason, she can say you raped her with absolutely 0 evidence and if it's your word vs hers, she'd be right. If you're ugly and don't have a large circle of friends and family to back you up, your odds of being falsely accused convicted of rape are even higher. In my case, I don't have ANY good looks or social support backing me up (Not to mention that I'm mentally ill, which in the eyes of a jury makes your a murder-rapist-bank robber by itself), so if I get just a little bit unlucky, that girl I could theoretically ask out will ruin my life and 90+% of society will side with her. The other 10% will say "I don't know, but she's probably right".

 

There are thousands of cases of falsely accused rape out there. Those are only the ones that were determined to be false. I don't even want to think about how many haven't been figured out.

 

If your counter-argument is "That doesn't happen", I can provide links to cases of falsely-accused rape (I forgot to mention that in the vast majority of these cases, the woman just gets a slap on the wrist and told to not do that. On the other hand, if your accused of rape as a man, your social life will not only go down to 0, it'll end up in the negatives (People will hate you for something someone else said)). Sure, you can probably provide links to false-rape charges that didn't result in anything, but the fact that it happens at all and the fact that your chance of conviction is a function of looks and social-status makes it all the more likely to happen to me.

 

If your counter-argument is "That won't happen TO YOU", let me know WHY. As for why it WOULD happen to me, there's the issue of having to ask more girls out to get a date than the normal guy (Which by itself increases my chances) because of lack of looks and social-skills. Every time I could ask a girl out, my chances of this happening increase. Even if it's a 1% chance (Which, let's be honest, it's probably a lot more than that), the fact that I've asked out 4 or 5 girls in my life with just "NOs" makes me moderately lucky. I'd rather not push my luck.

 

If your counter-argument is "You're delusional", tell me why. As for why I'm not, I'd argue that the fact that it happens AT ALL is a pretty good reason. If you're an adrenaline junky, you should be aware that your next BASE jumping adventure could result in the death of you. Sure, parachute failures are uncommon, but it's enough to keep loads of people from jumping out of planes (I don't have any evidence to back this claim up, but I think most people would agree it's reasonable.)

 

Basically, what I'm trying to get at is that getting dates IS a numbers game, but there are more than one variable. While asking 1000 girls out might increase your chances of getting a girlfriend, it also increases your chances of having your life ruined forever. Sure, ugly antisocial guys can get dates, but they're lucky. The more ugly and bad-with-social-stuff you are, the more likely you are to be accused/convicted for something you didn't do. The opposite is true too. If you're a 10/10 social butterfly, it can happen to you (Look up Brian Banks), but it's much more unlikely.[/hide]

http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2015/01/22/5-ways-avoid-false-rape-accustations/

 

tl;dr: FRAs generally only happen to guys who:

- have one night stands

- hook up on the same night that they met a woman

- hook up under the influence of drugs

- make the woman feel used

[Boris5000]

WARNING: THE CONTENTS OF THIS POST DIFFER FROM THE OPINION OF THE AVERAGE PERSON. IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY PEOPLE WITH OPINIONS DIFFERENT THAN YOURS, DON'T READ THIS.

 

[hide]I'm terrified of the power women have. If a woman is having a bad day or if she just doesn't like you for whatever reason, she can say you raped her with absolutely 0 evidence and if it's your word vs hers, she'd be right. If you're ugly and don't have a large circle of friends and family to back you up, your odds of being falsely accused convicted of rape are even higher. In my case, I don't have ANY good looks or social support backing me up (Not to mention that I'm mentally ill, which in the eyes of a jury makes your a murder-rapist-bank robber by itself), so if I get just a little bit unlucky, that girl I could theoretically ask out will ruin my life and 90+% of society will side with her. The other 10% will say "I don't know, but she's probably right".

 

There are thousands of cases of falsely accused rape out there. Those are only the ones that were determined to be false. I don't even want to think about how many haven't been figured out.

 

If your counter-argument is "That doesn't happen", I can provide links to cases of falsely-accused rape (I forgot to mention that in the vast majority of these cases, the woman just gets a slap on the wrist and told to not do that. On the other hand, if your accused of rape as a man, your social life will not only go down to 0, it'll end up in the negatives (People will hate you for something someone else said)). Sure, you can probably provide links to false-rape charges that didn't result in anything, but the fact that it happens at all and the fact that your chance of conviction is a function of looks and social-status makes it all the more likely to happen to me.

 

If your counter-argument is "That won't happen TO YOU", let me know WHY. As for why it WOULD happen to me, there's the issue of having to ask more girls out to get a date than the normal guy (Which by itself increases my chances) because of lack of looks and social-skills. Every time I could ask a girl out, my chances of this happening increase. Even if it's a 1% chance (Which, let's be honest, it's probably a lot more than that), the fact that I've asked out 4 or 5 girls in my life with just "NOs" makes me moderately lucky. I'd rather not push my luck.

 

If your counter-argument is "You're delusional", tell me why. As for why I'm not, I'd argue that the fact that it happens AT ALL is a pretty good reason. If you're an adrenaline junky, you should be aware that your next BASE jumping adventure could result in the death of you. Sure, parachute failures are uncommon, but it's enough to keep loads of people from jumping out of planes (I don't have any evidence to back this claim up, but I think most people would agree it's reasonable.)

 

Basically, what I'm trying to get at is that getting dates IS a numbers game, but there are more than one variable. While asking 1000 girls out might increase your chances of getting a girlfriend, it also increases your chances of having your life ruined forever. Sure, ugly antisocial guys can get dates, but they're lucky. The more ugly and bad-with-social-stuff you are, the more likely you are to be accused/convicted for something you didn't do. The opposite is true too. If you're a 10/10 social butterfly, it can happen to you (Look up Brian Banks), but it's much more unlikely.[/hide]

 

Interesting... Although still very somewhat flawed. And I am going to completely skip over the self-depreciating facets of your arguments.

 

You stipulate that "If a woman is having a bad day or if she just doesn't like you for whatever reason, she can say you raped her with absolutely 0 evidence and if it's your word vs hers, she'd be right." This just is not the case - no governing body allows this to happen without some form of actual investigation. Rape indictment are never a simple case of ones word against another. For the benefit of this argument, I will gladly take the time to read any reputable sources that show false-rape indictments.

 

Just a few other things I picked up on which I feel is worth you considering.

1) Rape is the explicit breach of consent. Yes means Yes. You aren't going to be accused of rape because you had asked for their consent (and then didn't rape them when they declined).

2) You can/will be accused of Rape if you do breach such notion of consent.

3) You need to stop thinking that the other gender is a manipulative, spiteful "species". They are humans too and go through the same mental perturbations as men.

 

PS: When I mean you ask for consent I do NOT mean asking "Can I have sex with you?".

[muggiwhplar]

Also: http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2013/12/22/the-2-rule/

 

That post is gold.

 

Are those above things possible? Yes, they’re possible. There is indeed a 0.06% chance or 1.2% chance of something like that happening.

Are they likely? No.

Are they even remotely likely? No.

The 2% Rule says if any action has a less than 2% chance of resulting in something horrible, then go for it. You’ll be fine.

Stressing out about things that have a less than a 2% chance of happening to you in real life damages your happiness, raises your stress, restricts your actions, limits your freedom, and makes you sound like a spazoid. Relax. Take a deep breath. It will be fine.

 

In Horatio's case, it's pretty obvious that he's being completely debilitated by this irrational fear of something with less than a 2% chance of happening.

[Boris5000]

Also: http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2013/12/22/the-2-rule/

 

That post is gold.

 

Are those above things possible? Yes, they’re possible. There is indeed a 0.06% chance or 1.2% chance of something like that happening.

Are they likely? No.

Are they even remotely likely? No.

The 2% Rule says if any action has a less than 2% chance of resulting in something horrible, then go for it. You’ll be fine.

Stressing out about things that have a less than a 2% chance of happening to you in real life damages your happiness, raises your stress, restricts your actions, limits your freedom, and makes you sound like a spazoid. Relax. Take a deep breath. It will be fine.

 

In Horatio's case, it's pretty obvious that he's being completely debilitated by this irrational fear of something with less than a 2% chance of happening.

 

I would go as far to say he is just making excuses for more reasons not to try putting himself out there. Considering that we (the people of this thread) have offered him very reasonable, rational advice. #sayingitlikeitis

[muggiwhplar]

 

Also: http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2013/12/22/the-2-rule/

 

That post is gold.

 

Are those above things possible? Yes, they’re possible. There is indeed a 0.06% chance or 1.2% chance of something like that happening.

Are they likely? No.

Are they even remotely likely? No.

The 2% Rule says if any action has a less than 2% chance of resulting in something horrible, then go for it. You’ll be fine.

Stressing out about things that have a less than a 2% chance of happening to you in real life damages your happiness, raises your stress, restricts your actions, limits your freedom, and makes you sound like a spazoid. Relax. Take a deep breath. It will be fine.

 

In Horatio's case, it's pretty obvious that he's being completely debilitated by this irrational fear of something with less than a 2% chance of happening.

 

I would go as far to say he is just making excuses for more reasons not to try putting himself out there. Considering that we (the people of this thread) have offered him very reasonable, rational advice. #sayingitlikeitis

 

 

That's generally why the virgins ITT remain virgins until they grow a pair and start taking the advice they're given :P

[champion]

Women can seem scary when you have virtually no actual real-life interaction with them, and everything you hear about them is from the delusional echo-chambers of places like /r9k/ (which I know that abc Horatio visits constantly). Women can't just snap their fingers, say "this guy raped me" and have you sent to prison with no proof of anything. 

 

Abc, you've been arguing this same thing for literally years now. Hasn't it gotten old? You drive a car, right? Your odds of getting in a fatal car accident while driving every day are astronomically higher than any woman deciding to say you raped her and you actually being sent to prison with no proof. Why haven't you stopped driving then? 

 

You're scared of women because you force yourself into irrational mental feedback loops that perpetuate statistically improbable scenarios that you can use to comfort yourself with the fact that taking the initiative to talk to women is challenging. Like someone else posted above, fat ugly people can bang chicks left and right without issue. Does it help to be handsome and in shape? Sure. But ultimately the only thing holding yourself back is your mental attitude, which is something that nobody else can change but you.

[muggiwhplar]

What's abc and r9k

[Boris5000]

r9k = gentlementlemen

I think abc may be an alternative alias for our beloved horatio?

[Hedgehog]

There was an abc1230, but it looks like his account is banned

[Sir_Squab]

WARNING: THE CONTENTS OF THIS POST DIFFER FROM THE OPINION OF THE AVERAGE PERSON. IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY PEOPLE WITH OPINIONS DIFFERENT THAN YOURS, DON'T READ THIS.

 

[hide]I'm terrified of the power women have. If a woman is having a bad day or if she just doesn't like you for whatever reason, she can say you raped her with absolutely 0 evidence and if it's your word vs hers, she'd be right. If you're ugly and don't have a large circle of friends and family to back you up, your odds of being falsely accused convicted of rape are even higher. In my case, I don't have ANY good looks or social support backing me up (Not to mention that I'm mentally ill, which in the eyes of a jury makes your a murder-rapist-bank robber by itself), so if I get just a little bit unlucky, that girl I could theoretically ask out will ruin my life and 90+% of society will side with her. The other 10% will say "I don't know, but she's probably right".

 

There are thousands of cases of falsely accused rape out there. Those are only the ones that were determined to be false. I don't even want to think about how many haven't been figured out.

 

If your counter-argument is "That doesn't happen", I can provide links to cases of falsely-accused rape (I forgot to mention that in the vast majority of these cases, the woman just gets a slap on the wrist and told to not do that. On the other hand, if your accused of rape as a man, your social life will not only go down to 0, it'll end up in the negatives (People will hate you for something someone else said)). Sure, you can probably provide links to false-rape charges that didn't result in anything, but the fact that it happens at all and the fact that your chance of conviction is a function of looks and social-status makes it all the more likely to happen to me.

 

If your counter-argument is "That won't happen TO YOU", let me know WHY. As for why it WOULD happen to me, there's the issue of having to ask more girls out to get a date than the normal guy (Which by itself increases my chances) because of lack of looks and social-skills. Every time I could ask a girl out, my chances of this happening increase. Even if it's a 1% chance (Which, let's be honest, it's probably a lot more than that), the fact that I've asked out 4 or 5 girls in my life with just "NOs" makes me moderately lucky. I'd rather not push my luck.

 

If your counter-argument is "You're delusional", tell me why. As for why I'm not, I'd argue that the fact that it happens AT ALL is a pretty good reason. If you're an adrenaline junky, you should be aware that your next BASE jumping adventure could result in the death of you. Sure, parachute failures are uncommon, but it's enough to keep loads of people from jumping out of planes (I don't have any evidence to back this claim up, but I think most people would agree it's reasonable.)

 

Basically, what I'm trying to get at is that getting dates IS a numbers game, but there are more than one variable. While asking 1000 girls out might increase your chances of getting a girlfriend, it also increases your chances of having your life ruined forever. Sure, ugly antisocial guys can get dates, but they're lucky. The more ugly and bad-with-social-stuff you are, the more likely you are to be accused/convicted for something you didn't do. The opposite is true too. If you're a 10/10 social butterfly, it can happen to you (Look up Brian Banks), but it's much more unlikely.[/hide]

 

It's funny because the likelihood of a woman getting raped is probably like 100X the likelyhood of a guy getting falsely accused of rape.

 

Furthermore, I've only ever seen that opinion spouted by guys who can't get girls and seem to be misogynistic because of it.

 

And if you disagree with that, we could always try an interesting and [bleep]ing depressing experiment where we ask people of this thread, in terms of numbers, how many women they've met who've been raped vs how many men they've met who've been falsely accused. I predict 18 women and 1 guy.

 

Here's the thing: the facts support a world where plenty of women get raped, with only some of them getting charged for it, and only a fraction of the guys who get charged for it actually get convicted. Meaning, probably over half of men get away with it. A world where that many men get away with it, with statistics say beyond a shadow of a doubt we live it, is completely impossible to be a world where the mere accusation holds great power that many women abuse. Those are two completely incompatible worlds.

[RpgGamer]

Horatio, please start at least talking to girls on a friendly basis. They're not all manic depressive lunatics that are out to ruin the lives of men. There are plenty out there, sure. I have a tendency to date them, but for every one basketcase I've dated I've encountered hundreds of normal girls varying everywhere from amazing to mediocre. Some girls suck. Some guys suck. Dont be the guy that sucks and you'll find more and more girls that dont suck.

[muggiwhplar]

And even if a girl is crazy, you'll probably know very quickly and at that point you have the choice of whether or not it's worth the risk to move forward w/ her

 

With OKC for example, most of the crazy feminazi girls will explicitly brag about their crazy beliefs on their profile. If I message them without reading their profile, they're usually extremely hostile from the get-go. So for some strange reason, I never seem to end up on dates with these types of women. Hmm, wonder why. :P

[Sir_Squab]

Why would you even try?